My name is not Miss Cleo...

I woke up this morning pretty tired since I slept like shit last night. When I was trying to go to sleep, the perfect storm was apparently going on outside. I couldn't believe how much lightning and thunder we got last night. It was like a crazy, acid trip light show...no joke...Okay, fine, maybe minus the acid trip. Anyway, so I left for work, stopping only to get a soda on my way in because I needed some caffeine desperately. Because of the wet roads and people in Arizona's inability to drive on the freeway when everything is wet, it took forever to get to work. I got there with only a few minutes to spare and as I pulled into the parking lot, I about lost my mind. This moron in some piece of shit Saturn stops in front of me to let people turn left in front of us to get into the main parking lot. We were turning right, which gives us the right away, but this person waved like six cars to go. And each car stopped, thinking perhaps it was a trick, so this took forever. I sat there watching as two minutes ticked by and I was like I am never going to make it to my desk on time to log in. Then, we finally turn into the parking lot, and of course this ass monkey is going all the way across the parking lot with me to the side where I park. Along the way, they stopped to let three people cross in front of us and also to let a delivery truck pull out. I was tempted to get out of my car, walk up to their window, and say, "Hey, jackass, I need to make it to my desk sometime this morning. Can we move this shit along?" However, since this is my workplace, I figured it wouldn't be a wise move since it would probably be someone of importance. If you think I am by any means exaggerating how late I was, let me just tell you that I have to log in (clock in) at 5:30 to be on time...I got my desk/phone at 5:29. So, I was cutting this close, but really, this jackass wasn't helping with letting the entire world go first. Here's my thoughts on this...If you are working on your karma, that's fabulous, but your attempt at getting good karma is making me late, you fucking jackass! I'm all for good karma, but don't fuck with me in the process. And to those idiots who are stuck each morning waiting for a break in traffic to turn left, well, to you I say you should come in the main entrance like the other 99% of the workers! *rolls eyes* Coming in from the side entrance isn't really saving you any time when you have to wait for a break in traffic or some moron to let you go. I sure as hell won't let you go...
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So, probably because of my bad attitude, I logged in at work and was immediately berated by card members. If you call someone and they ask your name, you should make it clear what you want to be called. Like I don't call people, tell them my name is Heather, and then freak out calling them a "fucking idiot" for calling me Heather. I mean, I might now because it seems that that's the cool thing to do, but before today I never did. I am not even kidding when I tell you this story...This man literally told me his name was Pedro (I am changing his name to protect the guilty). When I asked for his last name, he said, "Rodriguez." I said, "Thank you, Pedro. I have your account here. How can I help?" This dude blew his top...like went nuclear. I'm talking Three Mile Island or Chernobyl...Maybe even Hiroshima style blow up. He was like, "What did you just call me?" I think he almost fell off his chair whilst trying to reach through his phone to strangle me. Here's the thing...On his card, his first name was only an initial, as in "P. Rodriguez." So, had he not told me his name was Pedro, I would never know, okay? So, I tell him, "I called you Pedro." And then he proceeded to rip me a new one like I was the rudest person on the planet for calling him by his given name. First of all, he told me that was his name. Most people who want to be called a certain name will say, "My card says (Insert name here), but you can call me (Insert nickname, Dr Blah blah blah, or whatever here)." It's a simple thing, really. Second, it's not my fault if your mama saddled you with a name that makes you go ballistic every time you hear it. My mom named me Heather Rose...Do you think I like that name? Heck no! That's like the girliest name on the fucking planet. The only thing girlier would be like Princess Buttercup. I mean, then I would've had to kick her ass. So, thanks mom for not naming me Princess Buttercup. But yeah...Seriously, I'm not a huge fan of the name Heather, but I don't go postal on people...just my mom. *grins* So, back to the crazy man...He tells me, "You WILL address me as Mr. Rodriguez, God damn it!" Yeah, whatever. I made things worse by saying, "I'm sorry, sir." Yeah, he seriously lost it. I could almost picture him flying out of his chair as he screamed into the phone at me, cursing. I was done with his shit, so I told him I'd hang up on him if he couldn't keep it professional. Bwahahahaha! Yeah, he asked for a supervisor. Apparently, he feels that customer service reps at our company should be more professional and not call anyone by their first name. What-the-fuck-ever.
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Before the crazy above mentioned bastard, I had some old guy get mad at me because I called him "Mr. Smith" instead of by his first name. And then when I called him sir, he went off asking if I like to be called "ma'am". Well, of course not, but I put up with it when I call places because it's nicer than them calling me "lady" or "bitch". *rolls eyes* Later, another lady got all pissed off and told me to call her Dr. at the end of our conversation when all along I'd called her by her first name. And how the fuck would I know she was a doctor? Her business showed she owned a music studio. I'm not a psychic. Perhaps these people are confusing me with the psychic friends network? For the record, my name is not Miss Cleo...I'm just sayin'...
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So, yeah, I was batting a thousand today with the crazy people. A few, I was able to turn around and get them to be nice by the end of the call, but not all of them...And now I'm worried about what they'll say when they get their surveys. "That bitch called me by name! How dare her!" I think I would laugh wildly if someone put that. I mean, really, what would my boss have to say then? Trust me, he would find something to say. No matter how good the call is, they will find ways that you could make it better. I will probably hear about how I should've bowed down to Mr. Rodriguez or something, but yeah...It's bullshit. It's days like these where I wonder how the hell I got here...And how much longer I have to be here. I was reading that Phyllis Diller didn't become a stand-up comic until she was 37...Perhaps it's not too late for me. *shrugs*
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For now though, instead of brushing up on my stand up routine, I shall go take some more meds to try to beat this cold, which is currently winning...Perhaps I'll lose my voice and then I can't talk to jackasses on the phone. *crosses fingers* lol

Thank you, drive through...

You know, it never ceases to amaze me how self-righteous people get over the stupidest shit. And I know that Phoenix is going to get pissed at me as she reads this, but this is nothing new and she knows my feelings on this (And she disagrees and I'm okay with that. I have my reasons and so do they, so we can all agree that I'm right...Er, um...I mean, we can agree to disagree.), but some of the worst offenders of this are church people. *grins* I can already hear people getting worked up. I'm okay with that...You know why? Because you don't need to read this. You can click that little X up in the upper right hand corner and move on. But for those of you still hanging out, check this shit out...This dude calls in and his business name is a church of some sort (Which I will NEVER be attending!). He immediately starts in about how he was online looking at his account and it shows that his dispute with a certain merchant was resolved and he never got any resolution in it and what were we thinking? Within a few moments this call crashed and burned...I mean, literally he said, "I know you guys are in bed with (Insert merchant's name here). You scratch their back while they scratch yours and who gives a rat's butt about the little man." Um, what? We can't give you your money back because the reservation you made was non-refundable. It's not my company's fault that a hotel room was listed as a three-star hotel and this dude feels it was a one-star (at best). Don't people do research before they go stay somewhere? Like look at the pictures...Maybe Google the hotel? No? Am I the only crazy person? I might be, but that's neither here nor there. He didn't care at all what I said, even when I apologized as I explained that we are an impartial mediator, instead, he kept talking over me and talking in circles. He said I wasn't sorry and that I didn't care. Well, honestly, no, I don't give a fuck. Does it suck for him? Sure, but he's the idiot who booked this room, showed up and said, "OH HELL NO!", left, and expects my company to give him his money back. Buyer beware, I say. Yup, I'm a bitch and I'm okay with that. 


He bitched me out for a good ten or so minutes before he hung up on me. What pisses me off about this is that he threatened to go to another credit card company (Good luck with that.) and was making vague threats about his church and how he can tell his fellow ministers and their follows about this experience. Great. Be sure to tell them that Satan (that's me) said hello. Yes, go tell all your faithful followers about how my company screwed you over and couldn't make another big company change their policies to suit you. How the hell do we know he didn't stay at the hotel? We don't. This is the same as the people who are like, "I just bought a TV and it's not what I thought it was. Can you cancel that charge?" Oh, sure...Best Buy sucks anyway...Let's just give you that big screen TV for free. Have a great day. NOT! What the fuck? But then this dude just kept going on about how he's going to tell everyone and that his church has locations all over, not just here in AZ, but in CA and around the world. I wanted to ask, "Did you also tell everyone to go to Chik-fil-a the other day?" I didn't, but it was tempting. You might be a man of the cloth, but you're a jerk and God is watching you. 


I had spoken to another man earlier in the day from a different church who was also a jerk. He was mad that he had gotten an interest charge. He demanded that I remove it. I explained that it was there because he doesn't pay in full. He literally pays his minimum payment every month and thinks we're going to waive the finance charges...Umm...No. I told him it was a legitimate charge and he flipped out about how he was a God-fearing man who pays his bills. Okay, well, I'm not sure God wants us to fear him, but besides that, if he doesn't want to follow these rules, what other rules is he breaking? I'm glad I don't go to his church...I imagine he talks about fire and brimstone a lot. I just don't get it...Where do these people come up with the idea that we should do everything for them? My company is a for-profit company, so we're not going to give away free money. Our American Society has put itself in a bad place...You don't get anything for free. You get what you pay for. And I'm not writing off your fees. Thank you, drive through. 

On a side note, I'm turning fucking 33 in a few days...I don't want to be 33. That sounds old. I feel like I haven't done enough with my life to be this old. Does anyone else feel that way? Eh, maybe it's just me...