BS on a Monday...

Every once in a while, I'll listen to a song that I've known for a month of Sundays and suddenly I realize what I'm singing and I am completely taken aback at the dirty words that I have just spewed forth. Of course, my first instinct is to call my mom and demand to know what kind of girl she raised because there is no way in hell that I was a part of this! It's definitely her fault. *shifty eyes* But being that I have enough manners to know that calling people at 5am is rude, I refrained this morning...It was a close call though because I hadn't put much thought into this song So, when I got into my truck this morning, the radio comes on like it always does and Collective Soul's December is on. And I'm like, "Oh, I like this song..." So I turn it up. And for the record, I didn't say that out loud...It would be creepy if I was talking to myself like that, although, at nearly 5am, it's possible that I do...Honestly, I could've said it. Who knows? But I digress...Anyway, I crank the song and pull away from my house singing, "Don't scream about don't think aloud turn your head baby now spit me out don't worry about don't speak of doubt turn your head baby now spit me out--" Wait, what did I just sing? I remember one time trying to figure out if the song was about a blow job, but I sort of pushed the thought away and didn't focus on it. But let's be honest for a moment--What the fuck, Collective Soul? For years I've rocked out to this song never really thinking too deeply about it, but clearly something isn't right.


On a side note, today at work I had mentioned that I am going to the Alanis Morissette concert on Thursday night and a few people kind of laughed. Why is that funny? I'm not that old. And Alanis isn't known for "angry lesbian music", which is what my brother calls pretty much any chick or chick band I listen to. Honestly, I'm really hoping she rocks some of her older stuff like You Oughta Know and Ironic. If she does, then I'll die a happy girl. I'm too old to be into these ridiculous people like One Direction or Justin Beiber or Neil Diamond...Oh wait...Maybe not the latter. Anyway, so, yeah...I'm not sure how I feel about this. (For the love of all that is holy! My phone won't stop ringing and beeping with texts! I am trying to write, people!! You should hate me...I'm angry, mean Heather. I'm not everyone's BFF! BAH! Apparently, I am...It's one of my buddies from work venting. She feels that her co-workers in her new department are all a bunch of high schoolers.) Am I the last person on the planet who likes 90s alternative? And is Alanis so out of date that she's laughable? I sure hope not...On the plus side, I didn't mention to these "laughers" that only a few years ago I saw Cyndi Lauper, The B52s, Erasure, and Deborah Harry (Blondie) in concert...I think they really would've laughed then...Or maybe looked at me dumbfounded, not sure what to make of those bands/people. Needless to say, I feel fucking old. 


In other news, they posted for another coaching position at my work. This is home-based coaching and I can't quite wrap my mind around working at home. I'm not sure I'm devoted enough to make that work. I desperately want a new job though as I am bored with mine. I decided just a few minutes ago to try to look for other jobs, mostly because I told Phoenix, "I'm just going to apply at Discover card and see what happens!" But they're only hiring for customer service reps and collections. No, thank you! Then I looked into Amazon because they have like 3 locations here...but that was a bust too. I think it's about time to hit up Jobbing.com or something again. There has to be something out there I am capable of doing. Doesn't anyone need a smart ass assistant or something? Fuck...I need something so I can get out of this funk I am in. I feel so fake at work anymore on the phones. Some guy sat with me today and said I was so friendly on the phone that he wanted to kill himself. Bwahahaha! I love that he said that because that's exactly how I feel. He said that I don't sound fake, I sound like I care, but he couldn't handle it...I assume because I talk shit to him all day. He reminds me of my little brother and I can't help it. 


I guess that's it. Phoenix is going to be home in a few minutes and honestly, I'm about to chuck my phone. If it goes off one more time, the damn thing is going out the window. When she gets home, it's going to get real loud, real quick. Do you know how loud three kids are? Well, I'd show you, but I can't post videos of the kids on here...lol I have realized though that I'm rubbing off on the kids and maybe not in a good way. I like to mess with Rapunzel because she asks an exorbitant number of questions all the time, so I joke with asking her what she wants and sometimes I say, "Want a knuckle sandwich?" So, now she asks me if I want a knuckle sandwich. And then the other night at dinner, I was asking her sister how she got gum in her hair. Rapunzel jumped in and said, "She wanted to save her gum, so she put it on the side of her bed and forgot about it and then rolled into it and that's how it got stuck in her hair!" I said, "I think you like to tell stories!" She immediately fired back, "I think you like to tell stories." I grinned as I said, "Well, that's true, but I still think you're telling a story." She laughed an evil little laugh back at me as she smiled. Yup, I'm raising minions...