Eighties Sitcom...

Sometimes I feel as though my life is a really bad 80s sitcom. I'm talking like a serious off-the-wall sitcom complete with crazy characters and weird situations. Case in point...


This morning Phoenix and I, after dropping the kids off at daycare, were on our way to the lab for routine blood work. Before we'd left, Phoenix found her lab orders, but stated she couldn't find mine anywhere. Strangely enough, we had put them together, so who knows what happened to it? Anyway, we're driving and she tells me that I could call the doctor's office to ask them to fax it to the lab. I grumbled. I despise talking on the phone...Like I'd rather walk barefoot over hot coals than call anyone at this point in my life. Seriously. I know it's sad, but I just can't do it. I hate the phone. So, she talks a little shit, as usual, because I don't want to call. She says, "Fine. I'll call them and pretend to be you." So, she calls them and proceeds to say her name is Heather. I sort of laughed. I stopped laughing when she hung up after asking for the stuff to be faxed, but forgot to make me an appointment for tomorrow for the sinus infection that I have. Once she hung up, she said, "Oh crap! I forgot to make the appointment." She called right back and more or less made me look like a dumbass. *rolls eyes* 


By this point in time, we've pulled up to the lab and she starts to get out of the truck only to look at the lab order she had in her hand...Yeah, it said, "Heather", not "Phoenix." (Or her real name either.) I was all, "Are you kidding me? You made me look like a dumbass for nothing!" She laughs as she says, "You have to call the doctor and pretend to be me because I can't call back with the same voice and say I'm me!" This is pretty much when I started to wonder if my truck was fitted with a camera and maybe a microphone. I took her phone and called the doctor's office. I told them I was Phoenix and had to make myself look dumber by stating that Heather thought it was Phoenix's order and not Heather's order. Honestly, the whole thing was just out of control. Especially since in the middle of it, my cell phone rang and she answered it, pretending to be me again. WTF!? 


So, if this had been an actual sitcom, we would've had to pretend to be each other in front of people...Like I'd have to pull off being Phoenix and she'd have to be me...like in front of a lot of people at an important event. And she would've insisted that we dress like each other and wear wigs. No, seriously. She would go all out like that. However, my life isn't an actual sitcom, just similar to one. I'm still trying to figure out how we're going to pull this off tomorrow when I go in with my hoarse voice and she sounds normal...The receptionist is going to be like, "You didn't sound sick yesterday!" *rolls eyes* Yup, this is my life. 


On a side note...Phoenix went to the store the other night to buy a hose (because our devil dog ate the other one) and a sprinkler for the kids to play in. When I talked to her later, she said she bought them a little pool. I was picturing a little plastic pool....Not a blow up pool that a couple of feet deep and like 8 feet in diameter. It takes up my whole back porch. The kids are currently in it (because we live in AZ where is NEVER cools off...not even when the sun goes down) swimming "laps" and calling out my name every three seconds to look at them through the sliding glass door. (Don't worry, I am within reach of the door and the curtain is open. They are perfectly safe.) However, instead of just saying, "Heather!" Rapunzel has started yelling out, "Heather Weather!" Dude, seriously? I thought I was past that stage in my life...Things always seem to go full circle, don't they?