I think that growing up sucks...I mean, as we grow up we start to realize things aren't as great as they seem when we were younger...For instance, it was sad to learn that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy (Phoenix, I'm sorry, but she doesn't exist...), hobbits, elves, etc don't exist. I remember one Christmas, right before I stopped believing in Santa, my parents tricked me...I had woken up and, most likely, had heard them putting out the presents. My mom came into my room and told me to be quiet because Santa was there and he'd leave if he knew I was awake. Then my dad came in and whispered that Santa was leaving all kinds of presents in the living room. Then, I heard Santa call out, "A merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" And then I heard something on the roof...A second later, my dad was all, "Did you hear that?" And my mom was talking to me the whole time...It was dark in my room, so I couldn't see them, just hear them. Yeah, I figured out a couple years later that my dad had crawled out of my room (I might've seen him in the dark had he stood up), hurried down the hall to the front door, snuck out onto the front porch, yelled his head off like a maniac, and then threw a handful of rocks from our gravel-like circular drive onto the roof...Very clever indeed...And kept me fooled for one more year about the big guy's existence. Unfortunately, I wasn't a gullible kid, so I caught on that life pretty much blows pretty early on...And for those of you wondering, I was seventeen at the time...
I mention this because I think because as kids, teens, etc, we have this idea that the fridge and cupboards magically fill themselves. Some of us might've had to go grocery shopping with mom or whatever, but still, you were never really required to make it happen...Apparently though, if neither Phoenix nor I go shopping, the cupboards will eventually become empty...This hasn't happened yet, but we're getting close. I actually muttered these words last night, "I just cooked up the last of the pork chops...I think all that's left for dinner tomorrow night is chicken wings...And just a few at that. Oh, and, no BBQ sauce." She had laughed, as if I were kidding with her. She's so cute when she thinks I'm being funny. As she left for work today, I said, "Look" and opened the freezer to show her that we have Otter Pops (I love me some blue Otter Pops!), some mostly freezer-burned meatballs she got from somewhere, a half-eaten container of Ben and Jerry's Heath Bar Ice Cream (you know that's not mine...I would've finished it.), some frozen veggies, the wings, and a few other odds and ends. She laughed. Then, as she was leaving, she said, "Make the wings with a teriyaki glaze or something...That'd be good." As I sputtered that I know nothing of making teriyaki glazes and that our deep fryer is out of oil (I cleaned it out.) and would have to fry the chicken wings in a pot on the stove top, she smiled and said, "You're good at making miracles happen." Doesn't she know this isn't Chopped: The Empty Kitchen version!? My mystery ingredients shouldn't be whatever we have left in the cupboards since neither of us has gone grocery shopping! Where's my mommy? Why doesn't she go shopping for me? I hate grocery shopping...
Speaking of the 'rents and all that, I had a sort of rude awakening the other night...I was looking online to see if I could find a song sung by one of the American Idols from last season...You know that girl Allison? She was so good. Yeah, Adam was great, but she was only 16 and rocked. Anyway, I was looking for that song, "Alone" and I saw it was by Heart. So, I looked up Heart and turns out I like a handful of their songs...I had no clue. And on iTunes, it suggests other groups you might like. And I was like, "Oh...I like these groups..." Then I talked to my mom a little while later and told her about the music I found. These were groups like Jethro Tull, Steppenwolf, etc...As I mentioned these groups, she says, "Those are groups that jackass liked." (For those not in the know, "Jackass" is my father. He is an abusive mother fucker and I don't talk to him anymore.) I mean, I knew that he was the one who mostly like classic rock, and it's bad enough that I like some Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin, which are a couple of his favorites...But now I like these other groups too??? Like I don't want to be anything like him. I don't even want to like the same foods that he likes. What, he likes air? I hate air. Okay, that's a bit extreme, but yeah...Perhaps we can't escape some things from our parents, huh?
I know that some of you are going, "Wait a second...Your dad pretended there was a Santa, but then you say he was abusive?" Yes, well, he wasn't a jackass all the time...He had his good moments. But I have to wonder how a person can go from this:
A dad with his adorable daughter...And yes, that's me. I was a cute baby. Who knows what happened after that, but I was cute then...Anyway, so what makes a man go from that to this:
Damn it...That's scary too, but wrong picture...Here we go:
Much better...How does a man go though, from being a seemingly good guy to the devil? Ehh, who knows?
You know what I do know though? I know that I need to go figure out how to make a teriyaki glaze for dinner!! If they ever do a Chopped show for the average person, I'm totally going to try to get on there!
We were lucky enough over the weekend to get to spend a night with Phoenix's nephew. He's six and says things like, "I know...right?" all the time. It sounds weird to me when teenagers and others say, "I know...right?" My immediate response (in my head) is, "Wrong." I don't even know what they mean when they say that! I get a lot of flack from Phoenix for saying things like, "Seriously." So, I'm not sure why it's cool for a six-year-old to say, "I know...right?" I refrained though, from saying, "You're six! What could you possibly know!"After a failed trip to the library for the Science Center passes (They're free at the library if you happen to get there early enough to get the limited amount, which I think might just be one free pass for all of Phoenix...BAH! Who wanted to see that ultra cool Lego exhibit anyway? I mean, it's not like I used to play with Legos all the time as a kid and even had the big ass pirate ship that took days to put together because of all the sails and sticker details...And it's not like my brother and sister destroyed it because they were evil little children and from then on, I didn't put together any big sets because it pissed me off...Er, umm...what?), we ended up taking the nephew to Target for nachos (He swore he loved their food there.) and an icee. We also got Uno cards. Apparently, cheating runs in Phoenix's family because he was trying to discard all his cards at once...For instance, if it was blue and he had five blue cards, he'd stack them together and try to discard them all at one go. It was rather amusing. This sounds exactly like something Phoenix would try to do...I, on the other hand, just shoved my cards down into the couch...UNO!On Monday, we went to Phoenix's sister's house for a barbecue. I watched as the sister burned her chicken and then offered to barbecue the rest of the meat, including Phoenix's and my burgers...The sister asked, "Can you barbecue?" I said, "Yeah..." I think she realized that I didn't want her to burn my food. Apparently, I was supposed to volunteer before she burned her chicken...Live and learn, right? Anyway, after eating, Phoenix's niece was going to show her mom how to do the "Ho Down Throw Down"--Wait, considering that I think it's Hannah Montana, it's probably, "Hoe Down Throw Down," huh? Eh, whatever. So, she starts the music and her mom is telling her that she has to show her the moves first, that they can't just start dancing, right? So, the daughter gets a little huffy about it, which makes Phoenix's sister get an attitude too and she raises her voice at her daughter about having an attitude...This goes on for a few minutes until they decide not to do the dance. It was an amusing exchange between the two...The best part was that the daughter had started her webcam on her laptop, which is where she had the music playing so that she could record them dancing...Instead, she had the entire exchange between her mom and herself. And she told her mom, "I recorded you yelling at me." Note to self: Never buy children computers, cell phone, cameras, etc where they can record you yelling at them...Last thing, I promise...Phoenix's nephew, the one we hung out with the other day, has his birthday in a couple of days. On September 11th, to be exact. Anyway, we asked what he wanted for his birthday. His first answer was, "Two boxes of gum. I love this flavor gum." Bubble gum. Later he told us that he wants a bed because his is "lumpy" and a iPod so he can have his own music to listen to. Oh, an iPod...Sure thing, kiddo. I didn't even buy my own iPod, so it's unlikely that I'm going to buy Mr. "I know...Right?" an iPod. He insisted that we should get him one. Umm...Sure. Phoenix's one niece also has a birthday coming up. We had thought that for her birthday I could make her a cool cake (Well, hopefully a cool cake) with fondant and all that. I really want to learn how to do that stuff. (I should've gone to pastry school instead of getting a BA in English!) So, Phoenix said, "Make him a cake first as practice." I said it was a good idea and decided to go with it. Unfortunately, he's into G.I. Joe...Umm...I'm not making a G.I. Joe cake. As I did research online for ideas, I saw an iPod cake. *grins* That's right...I'm making him an iPod cake!! And I'm even going to make it look like his favorite Taylor Swift song is on it!! Yeah, I'm mean...Whatever...I think it'll be cool. Here's a pic of the cake I saw as inspiration...
I won't be making it pink though...It'll be blue and it's going to be freakin' awesome...If I can make it look in real life how it looks in my head. So, wish me luck...
For the last couple of months or so, I've been getting random calls from a local AZ number. I don't know who the person is and until last night, I had no idea it was even a girl calling. Normally, the person calls at various times of the day or night (anywhere from the middle of the afternoon until the middle of the night). When I answer, I say, "Hello?" and there is no reply, but the line is open, so I know someone is listening. Last week the person called at almost midnight and I put them on speaker phone so Phoenix could hear what I was talking about when I said they were obviously still on the phone. You could hear static and background noises. That night I said, "Fuck off" and hung up on them. I had hoped that would stop it...But let's face it, this is my life and that's not the end...
Last night, we had a mini Grey's Anatomy marathon after we went to family game night. (Family game night sort of sucked since we got there late because Phoenix worked and didn't get off until it had already started....The real problem though was that they were playing Risk. Phoenix and I ended up playing Rummy and Old Maid with her niece.) As for Grey's Anatomy, I didn't watch the show until this season, so we've been getting the old seasons from Netflix and watching them. (She's already seen all the shows, but she watches with me.) Anyway, we had watched three episodes last night before calling it a night. By then, it was a little after 2am. I went and washed my face, brushed my teeth, etc, and was about to hop into bed at about 2:20am. I was remarking about our cat being on crack and running around the house as she always does at that time of night when my phone rang. As luck would have it, it was that foreign number. WTF? I answered it with a gruff, "Hello!" This time I was granted with a girl saying "Hello" right back at me. I wasn't surprised that it was a girl...In fact, so little surprises me anymore. I might've been surprised if it were, say, Freddy Krueger or Ed McMahon from the Great Beyond to notify me that I would've won the Publisher's Clearinghouse if he had only lived for one more year...But I digress...I once more said "Hello" and the girl did the same. Phoenix asked who it was and as I pulled the phone away from my face, I said it was some strange girl, but I heard the girl say something else. I immediately asked, "What?" She repeated the, "What?" It was at this point that I realized I was dealing with a 2-year-old. Okay, probably not, but definitely some bitch with the mentality of a 2-year-old. I asked, "Who is this?" In a bitchy tone, the girl asked, "Who is this!?" I hung up. They called right back and Phoenix insisted on answering. I wonder if she thought it was someone she knew. Of course, when she answered no one said a word. Dumbasses. I was pissed. I don't know who this bitch is who has my number, but I'm done playing these childish games. I went to my computer and Googled the number. It's supposedly a land line here in the Phoenix area. Whatever. I'm not going to pay money to find out a name...I'm not sure I really want to know who it is or how they got my number.
As I sat here at my computer, listening to Phoenix say that it was probably someone trying to get a hold of someone who used to have my number (I've had my number since November.), my phone rang again. This time it was the gate here at our place. We have it set up so that people can dial a specific number at the gate, which then calls me, so I can talk to the people at the gate and let them in...or not. It's kind of cool. I once let Phoenix in the gate all the way from California. Haha. Anyway, so I answer it only because I was already agitated and I can't imagine who in their right mind is at the gate at 2:27am. (The first call came in at 2:25, the second at 2:26, and the gate at 2:27...weird, huh?) So, I'm all, "Hello?" Immediately, I get a girl's voice, "Let me in!" WTF!? I have no clue if it's the same girl who'd been calling me, but it's weird and now I'm freaked out. I couldn't tell if it was the same girl because the gate voicebox thing makes everyone sound staticy. But if the number really is a landline, then there's no way she could be at the gate...right? It was all too weird.
By then I was pissed and about to go handle some shit. This morning, Phoenix said we should've gone down to the gate to see who it was...Yeah, hindsight, I tell ya. Instead, I hung up on the girl without a word. I sat here for a few minutes before I decided to go outside to check things out. Our cars were as we had left them and I couldn't see any cars cruising the parking lot. And no, I was not lame enough to go downstairs and look around...I looked around from a vantage point above everything and I had my trusty piece of shit cell phone with me...just in cases. I have no clue what was going on. (On a side note, we know a cop who works this area and we found out that there were two calls here at the complex for burglary...And one was not far from our apartment. Coincidence?)
It took me forever to fall asleep last night. I was worried that perhaps someone Phoenix knows gave my number out to someone who shouldn't have it, but she says I'm paranoid...I'm not sure why that makes me paranoid since this certain someone got her number before, but whatever...I can only imagine it would be more fun to torture me by directly contacting me than to go through Phoenix. That's just my thinking though. Then I was trying to figure out who was at the gate. It shows most of my name on the box, so I'm not sure how people could mis-dial, you know? My last name is NOT common and it's only part of my first name that gets hacked off. (And no, I'm not throwing my last name out here on the Internet...) I ended up having bad dreams all night long. Phoenix told me that I was "talking" (mumbling) in my sleep all night long. I'm not at all surprised. Then I woke up this morning from a nightmare and as I tried to shake it off, there was a loud crashing noise that almost sent me flying out of bed. I thought for sure someone was busting in the apartment, but it was just thunder...
I fell asleep sometime after 3am this morning I woke up at 8-something this morning. I was never able to go back to sleep because of the thunder and I was on edge. I'm not sure why someone would want to mess with me since I haven't done anything to anyone...It's not cool though...And I know...You guys are all disappointed because this isn't a funny blog...Well, unless you count this part. Here's the number for this person who keeps messing with me. (623) 587-8140. Feel free to prank that number whenever you feel like it...Just block your number so that she can't call you back. Have a wonderful day!
I am at Barnes and Noble where I had every intention of writing, but you know I can't help but notice everyone around me. I wasn't going to write right now about the weirdos like the man who I've seen here repeatedly reading books on gambling, the latest of which is How to Win at Roulette....But now, I have to write because this guy just walked in and was like, "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!" in the gayest voice I've ever heard in my life! I was sitting here, writing an email to a friend on Facebook, and his voice was like fingernails down a chalkboard. He was gayer than Jack on Will and Grace. He's gayer than the guy who does What the Buck on Youtube.com. If this guy was a superhero, he'd be Super Takes it up the ass Man! He couldn't even stand like a normal human being. He was standing at the counter, rocking back and forth like he was going to hump the counter. I guess he works here, but I've never seen him before in my life. I would've remembered his stupid faux hawk. Really, grow some balls and get a real mohawk, punk rock gay boy. Anyway, he was here for a few minutes ("I just HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD to come by for one of your AMMMMMMAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZING cookies!") and then pranced out of here...Maybe not pranced...More like cat-walked out here. Seriously, he was looking from side to side and swaying his hips more than Jessica Rabbit on Who Framed Roger Rabbit?.
I think what made me laugh the hardest was this old woman who's sitting a couple of tables away from me. As soon as she heard the "Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!" her head snapped up and she looked irritated. She watched the gay boy in absolute horror, as if he had some sort of contagious disease. This was worse than those horrible car accidents you see and want to look away, but find you can't drag your eyes away no matter how bad it is. (I saw a car accident once where someone got decapitated and I kept looking at the body as they covered it...It was as if my mind couldn't comprehend that the man was headless...I wanted to look away, but I just couldn't.) As he walked out, she watched his hips sway and she had this look on her face that reminded me of my grandma. My grandma has this one specific look that tells the recipient that she is so disappointed in them that she might as well disown them. It's like anger and disappointment and shame all rolled into one. That's the look this woman gave him. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing. She realized though that I saw her and she buried her face back into her magazine...I can't wait to grow old and crotchety.
On a side note...I wonder if this other girl sitting here, on her computer, is also people watching. She keeps looking around at people...Perhaps she's writing about the man with the gambling addiction...Or the man who has to be in his forties and wearing a comicbook t-shirt...Or the grandma with the four grandchildren, whom she has given coffee and sweets to...Or maybe she's even blogging about the condescending Starbucks worker who will, in her passive-agressive way, correct your ordering or whatever you did wrong. For instance, if you say you want a large coffee, she says, "A venti coffee." You hear the emphasis. Today, she got me (and I try so hard not to get corrected!) because I accidentally swiped my Starbucks gift card instead of the Barnes and Noble one. Damn it! I was so close! All I know is that I hope that girl isn't blogging about me!! If you read any blog about a girl on a red laptop in a gray and purple polo shirt, it wasn't me, okay?
There's not much going on today, but I don't want to leave my faithful readers hanging...So, I'm going to give you an old blog to read. This one is from back in February. It was day three without soda because of Lent (or however you spell it). Christina, even though she's not a practicing Catholic, still does Lent. I decided to do it with her, so I gave up eating fast food (well, eating out in general...not like that...) and soda. She gave up eating out as well and everything but water. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story...This is one of Phoenix's all-time favorite blogs...
Okay, so here's the interesting thing about addictions--You never know what's going to happen when you quit. For instance, when I quit smoking I had major trouble sleeping...Like I couldn't relax enough to go to sleep, which only added to my general crabbiness during that time. And I found this strange because nicotine is an "upper", so without it, I should want to sleep, right? Wrong. It sucked! On the flip side of this, here I am giving up soda and all I want to do is sleep. I thought I had this in the bag!!! You know why? I bet you don't, so I'll tell you...I knew better than to give up caffeine cold turkey. Going without caffeine gives me migraine-like headaches and I'd like to skip that...So, I have iced tea. Mmmm. Tastes good and loaded with caffeine...Here's the thing...I drink my iced tea with sweet n low, not sugar. I'm not going through withdrawals of caffeine or even of the bubbly goodness that is soda because I can do without the bubbles...Nope, I'm dying without the sugar boost!! I just looked online and they were explaining how much sugar is in a can of pop. According to these people, there are about 3.4 tablespoons of sugar per can of Pepsi. Ewww!! I wouldn't sit there and eat that much sugar!! Blech! I can't even keep working through this math because it's grossing me out. It's just too much sugar. Although, here I am, without it, and I just want to sleep...I guess I should just get extra sleep and deal with it. Today is day three...I'm sure it'll get easier in a few more days. It's weird though because I know people are thinking that it's kicking my ass to not drink soda, but it's not. I like iced tea and I like water. And right now I'm drinking a slushy. Mmmmm...Yeah, I know, it has sugar, but whatever. Still not nearly as much as the soda I drank! Speaking of my slushy, here's how I ended up with that...I went to go pay rent earlier and I was so tired, like seriously dragging ass. I decided that maybe I should go get a frap, but then I was like, "It's so much money..." It's like 46 cents more for a frap here than in Cali. I know it's not much, but it adds up. So, I was driving there and decided, "Hey, a slushy is a drink!! I'll get that instead!" And they're cheaper! So, I go to 7-11, but they only had Mountain Dew, Coca-Cola, and some other weird one. I skipped it and went back to my car. As I'm getting in my car, some old homeless man says, "I hate to bother you, miss, but do you have any spare money or change?" I didn't have any change on me and I only had 2 bucks, but I wasn't going to give it to him, so I said, "Sorry, man, I don't have any cash." He said, "Oh. Have a good one." Then as I'm getting in the car he spies the ring that Christina gave me. He asked, "You married?" It struck me as an odd question to ask, so I asked, "What?" He asked again, "You married? Got a husband?" I said, "Something like that." He said, "Really? I would've thought you were gay." And he shuffled off leaving me with a mouth agape look of shock on my face. What the fuck!? I don't look gay! It's not like I was sporting my plaid flannel shirt with the cut-off sleeves, holey jeans, construction-type boots, and a ball cap on my head. I would never wear a flannel shirt with cut-off sleeves! Fuck. *straight face* All joking aside, you know what I mean...I was in my "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition" shirt, jeans, and my Airwalks. What the hell??? So, I backed over the old fucker...That'll teach him to talk shit to a lesbian. In the end, I went to Sonic and got a Cherry-Apple Slush. Mmm...So good.
I'm still disappointed about that whole email scam thing. In fact, I'm pretty pissed off about it because I'm not stupid and I don't fall for bullshit. Granted, I wasn't all, "Oh, please sir, send me your fake money order and then I'll rush down to cash it for you. And no, I don't think there's anything at all suspicious by your not being able to cash it yourself...", but I still feel like I was bamboozled since I was emailing him, expecting that I would be given a job. Have I become so hard up for work that I'll fall for this sort of shit? God, I hope not.
Because of this, I did not sleep well last night. Well, that and Aunt Flo showed up. (Apparently, she was right on time, but I was thinking I had just seen her...Damn her for coming on time.) I can't sleep when I have cramps, but that's neither here nor there. So, I wasn't sleeping well at all and then I kept thinking, every time I woke up, that something has to give. Like I can't just keep going on in this fashion. I'm jobless...With a broken car...With very little money in my bank account (Sorry, the bank account I now share with Phoenix. Yup, we officially have a joint checking account. I'm thinking we should've made hers, the one with the money, the joint account. Just kidding.)...And well...Yeah. It can't stay like this forever, right?
As if all this isn't bad enough, I had to stoop to an all-time low this morning. We had woken up earlier than usual so that we could go run some errands...Like to get the joint checking account and to get some papers notarized. (By the by, if I suddenly become disabled in an odd accident, Phoenix has a power of attorney to take care of things for me, but please make sure she doesn't go out and buy up all kinds of property and cars in my name, okay?) Anyway, as we were getting ready to go, I went to blow dry my hair only to have the damn thing not turn on. I pushed on the reset button, which usually does the trick, but not this time. I pushed and then flipped it on, but nothing. I then tried about thirty-one other outlets in our apartment to make sure it wasn't the outlet, but my dryer...Unfortunately, it's my blow dryer. Fuck. I loved that thing too!! It was expensive and worked like a charm. Even my mom will tell you how great it was. So, how did I blow dry my hair this morning, you ask? By sitting in front of a fan!! YES! I DRIED MY HAIR WITH A FAN! And Phoenix laughed at me. She had the nerve to joke about it too and say, "You're supposed to brush your hair as it dries." I refrained from shaving my head right then and there...Then I wouldn't need a damn blow dryer, would I?
On a side note, I'd like to point out some random bullshit, okay? We went to go get papers notarized at a UPS store. It was $2 per signature, which is fine. The power of attorney that we each got for each other (That sounds confusing, but I'm sure you know what I mean.) had to have a "witness" sign it. We had left it blank and asked the notary lady, "Can we be each others witness?" She said no because it involved each of us. I said, "Oh." She said, "We can witness it." I was all, "Okay." She then said, "It's a $10 witness fee." We sort of nodded. Ten dollars for the other worker to write her fucking name down??? Are you kidding me? Whatever. We need this done. Then Phoenix asks, "Is that per paper?" The notary said, "Yes. It'll be $20." *censored!!* We ended up asking some old lady who was mailing off packages. I think she was a bit uncomfortable with it, but she did it. We thanked her profusely too. Twenty dollars for two signatures!? That's just crazy!! I'm completely taken aback by that...Fuck, with twenty dollars I could go buy a new hair dryer instead of sitting here bitching about having bad hair...Nah, I'd still bitch.
I'm not asking for much right now, but what I would like is a bit of break. Phoenix will tell you that when she started reading my blogs, she thought to herself, "There's no way all this stuff happens to one girl!" Well, she hadn't met me yet. Life never goes as planned. In fact, usually, the unexpected is what I should expect. When I moved here, I had figured I'd be able to find work somewhere...even if it had to be fast food, since that's where all my experience lies, unless you count student teaching, which most places don't. I've never had a hard time finding work though, so I wasn't worried. Yeah, in the, what, like eight months I've lived here, I had a temp job that lasted about a month or so. (It was split up over a few jobs.) So, that pretty much blows. Then my piece of shit car, which I didn't think would make it here, made it here, but then died on me a few months ago. Now I don't have a running car. (Whatever is wrong with it is likely electrical because it killed the battery and two other electrical parts. And I know absolutely jack about the electrical workings of automobiles.) Life just keeps getting a bit tougher all the time.
I'm not really complaining because my complicated life often makes for good blog material and provides others with amusement. What I'm doing here is basically setting up for the newest in a long line of mishaps in my life. Let's also keep in mind that I'm a smart girl. Google is my best friend because I constantly google everything I don't know or understand. And I don't fall for ridiculous schemes, okay?
I saw an ad online for a tutoring position. The guy was offering $35 an hour to tutor his 8-year old son who speaks mostly Spanish. Well, I know some techniques on teaching EL students, so why not, right? I sent off an email to the guy. We've emailed back and forth a couple of times and it seemed that I was amongst the final three he had narrowed it down to. He had asked me what I thought I would spend in gas driving to his house each week (He provided me with the address of the house he was moving to) and what my desired wage was, etc...I had told him that I felt $35 an hour was a lot of money and that I would feel more comfortable with $25 an hour, which is the going wage for tutors here and that if, after tutoring his son for a while, he felt I was doing a good job, he could pay me more. I also said gas would be about $20 a week since he's not all that far from here. He wrote back a little while ago and here's what it said:Dear Heather, This is to notify you that you have been given a provisional appointment to be the ESL teacher for my son. You are selected based on your experience and passion to teach.Please note that the teaching will take place at my residence and i will be arriving precisely Sept 25th but the lesson starts on Monday Sept 28th.Here is what i want to offer you:1.Teaching for 10hrs/week.2. That i will be paying you $350/week or $35/hr and $20/week as a recompense for gas/transportation.There is a parking space at the apartment building free of charge.3.Anytime from 3.00pm-8.00pm weekdays and 11.00am on weekends is suitable..Please note that i will be responsible for your tax since i am employing you for private teaching. I will send to you USA MONEY ORDER of $2,850 ($950 each) which i bought the last time i came to the US. I will write the Money order payable to your name so you could cash it at your bank.I am sending you that much money because of my step-dad's Alzheimer's disease.My step-dad got sick couple of months ago which made me spent lots of money taking care of his medical bills.The Money order is for USA which is cashable at your bank and its not cashable here in UK.As soon as you receive the Money order, take it to the bank and cash it and deduct $370 which is one week teaching charges with gas/transport fee, also deduct $100 for the purchase of the teaching materials needed for my son. Then send the balance of the money to my ticket agent in London so i can buy the family flight ticket. We are coming from London, UK. I will like to have your full name and address so that the check can be sent to you as soon as possible. Accept my congratulations! Luis Albiol.
If you Google parts of this email, it'll come up as a scam. None of the other emails did though...So, please people, watch out and don't be duped as I was. I thought I was going to catch a break...Silly, silly me...What was I thinking?
No worries though because I am going to email this guy back and tell him some crazy stuff...Like, "Is there any way you can pay me in cash? I don't use banks because they want me to put my fingerprint on checks I cash and I think that's just another way the government keeps track of me..." Or something ridiculous like that...Or perhaps I should say that I have contracted some rare disease that keeps me from being in the sun, so I am unable to go to the bank during bank hours to cash the Money Order and can't he just send me cash. I shall think of something clever and I will post it here when I am done...This is all in an effort to keep from responding to him with a resounding, "GO EFF YOURSELF!" Although, probably not the censored version of that statement...
