So, it's been a month of Saturdays since I last wrote...I know, some of you are mentally correcting me that the saying is, "A month of Sundays," but I can't stand Sundays anymore because they are the last day of my weekends. I love Saturdays! Moving on...
I haven't written in forever and I know I should. I keep thinking, "I should blog about this!" Then I get home from work or wherever and find myself lost in Facebook Land, where I apparently waste about a third of my day. Okay, not exactly...Maybe like a quarter of my day. Whatever. It doesn't matter. What matters is that I need to write! I've been working on a story for a while now, but it's not quite enough to relieve the stress of work. I keep thinking, "I should start a new blog about work..." Hence the title of, "Diary of a Call Girl." I was thinking this might get me some new readers. However, those readers may be expecting some specific types of stories and most likely not the type of stories I would tell about people freaking out on me on the phone at work. Perhaps the title is a bit misleading. I'll have to work on it. *grins*
So, about work. Dude, seriously. Have you ever wondered what it'd be like to take between 30 and 80 calls a day? If you haven't, then please don't. First of all, your head will hurt. Badly. *rubs temples* I like my job...sometimes. I get to talk to some really cool people. Every so often, I'll get a crazy customer that makes me laugh my ass off and I love that. Sometimes, I get to play like I'm a superhero and make great things happen like take away late fees or finance charges or quickly send a replacement card when a card was lost or stolen. I love that part of my job. I love to be the hero! I'm like, "Super Heather to the rescue!" *cue wind to blow through my hair, cape flapping in the wind, and cheesy grin on my face* The other 85% of the time, I take payments, answer questions about balances, explain how residual finance charges work (Dude, I majored in English and not finance for a reason.), and answer a whole host of other odd questions. I'm a little scared to post some of these questions because I don't want to be that girl who gets fired for making fun of the company where she works or its customers. Sure, I'd get my 15 minutes of fame and possibly a few more followers, but is it worth it? *considers it* Hmmm...*really considers it* Okay, probably not. I think I can give you guys some general guidelines though for when you're calling into your credit card company...
Do not ask for your late fees to be waived when the reason for not paying is your fault. "I forgot" didn't work in third grade when you didn't turn in your math homework, so why would it work now?
Do not yell at me because you got hit with an over-the-limit fee. I wasn't the one running around with your card charging dinner at nice restaurants and buying stuff from Ebay. I mean, if you want me to, then please add me to your account and I'd be happy to help, but it's not my fault. And don't tell me you didn't realize you'd reached your limit. With technology being what it is, you can now track your spending on the internet on your iPhone, which you bought on your credit card too. I'm not buying your lame excuses.
It's called residual finance charges and no one understands what it is or how it works, but it's there and it's a legitimate charge when you pay late. Pay your charge account bill on time all the time and you'll be fine.
Don't yell at me because I am simply doing my job. Just because I give you news you didn't want, doesn't mean it's okay to yell at me. Want me to come to your work and demand huge discounts and special treatment and then scream at you and your employees when you don't bend to my every whim? Well, do you? By the way, ever heard the saying, "Don't shoot the messenger"? I'm the messenger. Put your gun away. (To those of you in AZ, no really. Put it away! We are way to lax with our gun laws here!)
If you do yell at me, do not then point out what a good sport I am because I wasn't "rattled" by your bad behavior. You cannot see the tears streaming down my face. You also cannot see me flipping you off through the phone. I'm just saying...
Do not threaten to close your account with us. I'll still sleep tonight, even if you close your account.
There is no need to be rude to the person attempting to answer your questions. And yes, we know when you're pissed off. You normally come into the phone call saying things like, "Why are YOU GUYS..." or "YOU GUYS are..." Or, "YOU PEOPLE..." Yeah, because we all get together each night, drink a few margaritas, and come up with new ways to piss off our customers...*rolls eyes* I am more than happy to look into concerns you may have, but you have to let me do my job. Yelling at me doesn't make me move faster...Nor does it make me friendlier. I'm just saying. My mom always said you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. (Who the hell is trying to attract flies anyway? What a stupid saying...)
Come on, people, let's be nice to the people on the phone. We are just trying to do our jobs. I know life is stressful, but I'm not a punching bag, man. I have taken almost 800 calls in the last month. That's like 200 calls a week or, on average, 40 calls a day. (Yesterday, I had taken 39 calls by lunchtime.) That's a lot of calls. Do you know how badly my head hurts? And how many complaints I hear each day? Try being nice and it's okay to say, "Thank you" or "Thanks". Apparently, these people don't have their moms around to remind them to be courteous. Too bad for them.
By the way, if you take a survey about the service you received, do not rate the person badly just because you didn't get what you wanted. Also, do rate them badly because it was a "bad connection" or because you weren't offered "cash". These surveys mean something at some companies...like at my job.
On a side note, that woman I mentioned in my last blog whom I had recently met who needs to shut the fuck up, still needs to shut the fuck up. OMG! Just when I think she's outdone herself with a crazy story, she has to tell one more!! Phoenix's sister told me I should start to tell my own stories too to out-do hers...Only mine should be from movies...Like tell about how one time I decided to go for a run and just kept on running...from coast to coast...until I just didn't feel like running anymore. (Forrest Gump) Or how when I was a kid, we were going to lose our house, so I went off in search of a treasure with my strange band of friends and older brother, and was chased by these horrible criminals and their butt-ugly mom. (Goonies.) Or about that time when my three closest friends and I went into the woods in search of a dead body and how when we crossed a pond/lake I ended up with leaches all over my body and I freaked out. (Stand by Me) Yeah, I think people would catch on, but how fun would that be? I haven't done it yet. I just sit back and listen to the BS and imagine what the world would be like if she'd just shut the fuck up! *grins*
Okay, I feel so much better after venting. I'm off to write more on my story. Also, a quick shout out to my old friend who tweeted about my blogs and posted a link on FB. Thank you. You rock!! And one good turn deserves another: http://kabc.com/sectional.asp?id=35888&i=yes Check him out!!
