Okay, it's not a freakin' letter to my mama, although now I'm sure she's racing over here to see what sort of shit I'm talking about her now. So, since you're here, mom--You're funny looking, smell like cheese, and dance like Natalie Merchant in this video:
Well, mostly like in the beginning of the video. (And why does Natalie sound out of breath? Perhaps she should stop dancing and just freakin' sing!) But I digress...This whole title came about because yesterday I asked Phoenix, "How was work?" She said, "It was nothing to write home to mama about. If you write a blog, you should title it 'A Letter to Mama'." So, here it is. Tonight she reminded me that I needed to use her title, but I couldn't remember it. I asked, "Was it 'Punch yo mama in the face'?" She didn't like that and had to remind me. Ehh, whatever...Punch yo mama, write her a letter...Same difference. *grins*
Yeah, so I don't remember much about work yesterday, except that people are stupid. I got blindsided with a headache. I am not dealing well with these headaches. And once my head starts pounding, the littlest of things makes it worse. Like if you give me an attitude, I feel my temples start to pulsate. Keep it up and I swear that my right eye starts feeling like it's going to twitch. Then, because I am hurting so badly, I have zero patience. I have very little normally, but with the headaches I'm like...Can I be negative patience? If so, then yes, I'm negative patience. I don't know how to make this better, but I think that eventually I'll either get used to them, they'll stop, or they'll kill me. I'm hoping for the former two and not the latter one. But whatever. Today I woke up with my headache still in place. God forbid it left me during the night...Then it might've been a better morning. I decided this morning to be proactive with certain arguments we go through each day. I mostly succeeded along the way fighting with Hurricane. Once we got to daycare, all bets were off. She was yelling and screaming at Mr. Mischief before I even got them out of the car because she cannot stand him beating her to the door and I swear, he has no idea it's a race. So, I'm like, "Oh hell no...Not today!" Okay, this is in my head, not out loud. I don't take her out of the car and put her on the ground--Nope, I hold her. Oh man, she starts screaming like I'm killing her and she's screaming, "NO! NO!" and yelling Mr. Mischief's name. Am I kidding you? Of course not. Then she starts kicking me when she realizes I'm not putting her down and she's freaking out. Finally, I put her down and she thinks she's running. Oh hell no...I held her hand. She was like a wild dog on a chain...Or like that dog going after Foghorn Leghorn who keeps running out the length of his rope and then snapping back. Yup, she ran like three steps and then found her hand still in mine. Ha! By the time we made it to the door, she was screaming, yelling, hootin', and hollerin'...One would've thought I was killing this child, but all I was doing was walking her to the classroom. A few people looked at me and I said, "I'm the devil because I won't let her run ahead. I know. I'm okay with that." lol I don't know why people feel the need to watch. Obviously the kid is a brat. I'm not hurting her. And obviously, she's not my kid--I have purple and black hair and she's blonde with blue eyes. lol I was holding her hand and not even hard, just holding it. I wasn't even dragging her, despite the fact that she was trying to drag her feet. We made it to the classroom without her pushing, shoving, or tripping Mr. Mischief, so I think I succeeded. Wait until she realizes this is going to be a daily thing. Bwahahaha...
So, after winning at daycare, I decided that I would be okay with taking on Texas in a challenge at work. We spent the day racing to see who would have the better call handling times and the most calls in the day. I think we both did really well. Her last update showed she had 107 calls. She gets off work thirty minutes before me because she starts thirty minutes before me. When I left, the thing hadn't updated again, so I don't know where I stand. I had been like 10 calls behind her. I suspect we ended very close. I had been in the lead for most of the day. I kept teasing her that I was going to push a button on her phone so she wouldn't get any calls. Bwahahaha! Oh well. She gained the lead when I had a few stupid calls where I could not get the people off the phone. Here's what I don't get...If you're calling me, bitching to me about some horrible experience, tell me what the hell you want. Don't just leave me guessing. "Oh, I went to Disneyland and it was such a horrible time. One of the employees was so rude about accepting your card." Okay, that's not the experience, but just an example. So, if you're looking for a credit or free reward points or whatever, then fucking say it. I don't know what the hell you want and then there's going to be an awkward silence while I sit there wondering why you're calling me since I don't work at Disneyland. I mean, shouldn't you call Disneyland and ask why their employee was so rude? I mean, I can't imagine calling my credit card company to solve my problem with a place of business...I guess I'm just one of those people who takes matters in my own hands though and doesn't rely on strangers to handle my shit. Oh yeah, and I don't spend my spare time looking for handouts. I'm just sayin'...
So, on a side note (And no, sister of mine, this isn't about you...This is specifically about someone I know. I swear on a stack of Bibles it's not you.), what is with people posting everything on facebook? Like I get it...We all share stuff. Sometimes, we share too much. It's whatever. What I don't get is the people who are like, "I love my life. Everything is awesome!" That's at 8:54am. At 8:57am, another update, "I think I'm going to have a smoothie for breakfast. I love strawberries!" 9am, "I made the best smoothie ever! I put bananas in with the strawberries. Time for yoga! My life rocks! I love God!" (Whoa...Bananas and strawberries...Who would've thunk it? And how fast did you drink that fucking smoothie?) 9:05am "I need someone to do yoga with. Anyone game?" 9:15am, "Fuck my life. Everything is fucked. I'm going to kill myself." (Huh? Bad yoga session?) No updates for like eight hours, then at 5:15 "I love my life. I'm going dancing tonight. " So, for 8 hours everyone is like, "Is she dead?" and "Call me!" Dude, don't be a fucking drama queen. Why are you going to do that? If you go back and read your facebook and your statuses look like this, run to a doctor. Don't walk. Don't dance. RUN! Because you are mother freaking bat shit crazy! I just read these things and shake my head. I don't know what is wrong with people. If you're feeling down, fine, but how in the hell did you go from everything is amazing to "I'm sitting in a warm bath with a razor"? I get it--people have bad days. I know, I have them often. This is what I get for dealing with the public. But if my goes to hell in a hand basket, I will tell you why. Usually, my post is like, "People are stupid! *pounds head into desk*" It's funnier to say that though as "People are stoopid." LOL My boss said that one of her daughters, making fun of the younger sister, wrote "(Insert younger daughter's name here) is stoopid." ROFL! I love it! It makes me laugh. And this, people, is why we shouldn't spell phonetically. OH! Today some stupid (stoopid!) lady thought I was dumb because her bank's name was Dacotah Bank. I was like sounding it out and finally asked, "What's the name of your bank?" She laughed, "Oh, I was trying to figure out what you were saying...It's Dakota Bank." Um, no. It's Dacotah, whatever that spells. Look it up...It's a bank in South Dakota. Apparently, they can't spell...I'm just saying. I'm not stupid! But I digress...Back to the subject at hand. Seriously, people...What the fuck? First of all, I barely have time on some days to put one post, let along one post every few minutes. Second, I'm not sure the world cares that I'm making a smoothie, doing yoga, contemplating suicide, and going dancing all in the same day. This leads me back to something I've said time and again...Just because you have a thought, doesn't mean you need to share it with the world. Unless of course you have a blog like mine and then I will put whatever I want! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *grins* Seriously though, what did these people do before facebook, twitter, myspace, google+, and all these sites? Where did they get the attention? And are those places still around? If so, they should go there...
Okay, I think that's enough for me. I have a book to finish writing...And really, I have nothing nice to say today. I'm on two weeks of no smokes. Yay me. *rolls eyes* I think I'm going to take up kick boxing or something like that relieve my tension...Or maybe I should get off my fat ass and start using that elliptical machine in my garage...Hmm...Maybe tomorrow. *heads off to write*
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Curvy versus Pervy...
Have I mentioned my hatred of Mondays? If not, please allow me to tell you I fucking despise them. No, I would not ban them though because then Tuesdays would suck balls. It was hella busy today and I just wasn't feeling it. Perhaps it's because when I woke the kids up this morning, Hurricane started her nonsense IMMEDIATELY! I have decided that when we have our own kids, from the ages of 2 until they are 19, I don't want to see them...They can go live with grandma or something. I mean, 6am is a bit early to be kicking your foster brother. The moment I got Mr. Mischief out of bed, Hurricane started her shit with him, pushing, kicking, tripping...Like I don't get it. I felt bad for him this morning though because he was like one eye open, a little drool still on the side of his mouth, his hair standing on end, and she's attacking him, to get him out of her way so she can "win". I should change her name to Charlie Sheen since she's so dead set on "winning". And really, she's not "winning" anything. She's just first to get her hair brushed or shoes on or whatever. And I really don't think he even knows there's a competition. CPS has told us that we won't have him for much longer because he's going home to a relative, which will be great for him...Then Hurricane won't be able to harass him anymore...Poor Mr. Mischief.
So, yeah...I knew it was going to be a rough day when I started it off yelling at her to leave him alone. Then I got to work and my first call was escalated to a supervisor. Yup, fabulous Monday. Anyway, so my cubie, who I swear is NEVER at work (I haven't seen her in over two weeks!) was out yet again, so my ex--Texas-- was sitting her in seat and was having an equally fabulous day. I'm glad Giggles wasn't in today, but I feel bad because she was home sick...That just sucks. So, she left me and Texas to our own devices, which is never good. During the day, we spent time between calls talking shit to each other and watching ridiculous videos like this one...
Gross, right? I know...Perhaps I should've warned that my blog is not for the faint of heart? Ehhh...Too late. Moving on...So, yeah, that's what we do between calls at times. Also, she posted this video in chat for the team to see and said something to the effect of, "I think of Heather at 1:25." For any of you who know me, you'll know why...
Who doesn't love Ren and Stimpy? Good to know this is what co-workers think of me. *grins*
The afternoon seemed to drag on and at like 5:30 or so, I realized that Texas was wearing sweatpants. I asked, "Are you seriously wearing sweatpants to work!?" She said, "No! They're yoga pants! Duh!" Ummm...That's like calling a carpet a rug or water agua...It's all the same fucking thing! I reached out and touched the pants. (Don't be thinking I did something inappropriate! I touched down by her ankle where they were baggy!) These so-called "yoga pants" feel stretchy like sweats...And feel like sweat material. Let's just call a spade a spade and move on! I'm not sure yoga pants are acceptable attire for work...I'm just saying. I mean, it's not like she's doing yoga during or between calls!
I'm not sure what the hell Texas and I were talking about, but she was talking to me as I was sending an email about an account and suddenly she said something like, "Porn is the best thing ever created! It's STD free for the viewer." I slowly turned to her and was like, "Did you just say *voice drops to a low whisper* porn is the best thing ever?" She giggles wildly and says, "Yes!" And again points out the lack of STDs for the viewer. Umm...Okay. Be that as it may, I'm still not sure what porn had to do with the price of eggs. Like there's no clear, logical way of how we got to that. I started to call out for Giggles...I needed someone else to share in this session of TMI. This is way more than I needed to know about Texas. Like for reals. A few moments later, we were talking about something with teachers...She was asking if I had ever seen Liar, Liar because there's a part where Jim Carrey says something like, "Here she comes to wreck the day!" I was like, "Yeah, I vaguely remember that part." She says that when she was in school, she had jokingly said that in a class and her teacher laughed, which she thought made the teacher a dork. I defended the teacher saying that it's funny and teachers have it rough. She then told me she was always nice to her teachers, just not the---and here's where I sort of lost it---the curvy ones. I was like, "Say what? Did you just say the curvy ones? Like you hassled the fatties?" Of course, I couldn't stop laughing as I asked this, but I swear that's what I heard! She was like, "NO! The pervy ones!" Ehh...Whatever. Curvy was funnier.
This makes me think of the other day when I was helping some old man pick a user ID for online. I told him he needed to be creative in his choice, but he wasn't getting it. Like, it's not shocker that things like Brooklyn1 or Florida2 are taken. It's also not surprising that the names of our card types are taken. Like let's get creative here. He keeps going on and on with these stupid things and I'm like, "It's taken. Can we try a different number at the end?" And he's like, "No. I like the number 1." I suggested 11 since it's two ones, but he said, "No. I don't like that. And it makes it too long." Are you kidding me!? He thinks for like nearly a minute after trying literally a dozen or more names and he says, "Try freak1." Okay, that's what I heard. When I asked, trying to stifle my giggle, "Did you just say Freak one?" He started laughing so hard and corrects me. It did break the tension after our like 15 minute call about user ids. I probably would've liked him more if he chose that one...Even had it been "Geek1", I would've like him more. But I didn't like him because in his effort to not be creative, he wasted all the time I was supposed to be off early and instead of leaving 20 minutes early, I left at my usual time. Bah! Still...I'm starting to think I need to get my ears checked. Then again, perhaps it's selective hearing...
So, this was my experience of today without focusing on the assholes on the phone...Instead, I gave you a snippet of what it's like between the calls...Sometimes it almost makes the job bearable, but just barely...
So, yeah...I knew it was going to be a rough day when I started it off yelling at her to leave him alone. Then I got to work and my first call was escalated to a supervisor. Yup, fabulous Monday. Anyway, so my cubie, who I swear is NEVER at work (I haven't seen her in over two weeks!) was out yet again, so my ex--Texas-- was sitting her in seat and was having an equally fabulous day. I'm glad Giggles wasn't in today, but I feel bad because she was home sick...That just sucks. So, she left me and Texas to our own devices, which is never good. During the day, we spent time between calls talking shit to each other and watching ridiculous videos like this one...
Gross, right? I know...Perhaps I should've warned that my blog is not for the faint of heart? Ehhh...Too late. Moving on...So, yeah, that's what we do between calls at times. Also, she posted this video in chat for the team to see and said something to the effect of, "I think of Heather at 1:25." For any of you who know me, you'll know why...
Who doesn't love Ren and Stimpy? Good to know this is what co-workers think of me. *grins*
The afternoon seemed to drag on and at like 5:30 or so, I realized that Texas was wearing sweatpants. I asked, "Are you seriously wearing sweatpants to work!?" She said, "No! They're yoga pants! Duh!" Ummm...That's like calling a carpet a rug or water agua...It's all the same fucking thing! I reached out and touched the pants. (Don't be thinking I did something inappropriate! I touched down by her ankle where they were baggy!) These so-called "yoga pants" feel stretchy like sweats...And feel like sweat material. Let's just call a spade a spade and move on! I'm not sure yoga pants are acceptable attire for work...I'm just saying. I mean, it's not like she's doing yoga during or between calls!
I'm not sure what the hell Texas and I were talking about, but she was talking to me as I was sending an email about an account and suddenly she said something like, "Porn is the best thing ever created! It's STD free for the viewer." I slowly turned to her and was like, "Did you just say *voice drops to a low whisper* porn is the best thing ever?" She giggles wildly and says, "Yes!" And again points out the lack of STDs for the viewer. Umm...Okay. Be that as it may, I'm still not sure what porn had to do with the price of eggs. Like there's no clear, logical way of how we got to that. I started to call out for Giggles...I needed someone else to share in this session of TMI. This is way more than I needed to know about Texas. Like for reals. A few moments later, we were talking about something with teachers...She was asking if I had ever seen Liar, Liar because there's a part where Jim Carrey says something like, "Here she comes to wreck the day!" I was like, "Yeah, I vaguely remember that part." She says that when she was in school, she had jokingly said that in a class and her teacher laughed, which she thought made the teacher a dork. I defended the teacher saying that it's funny and teachers have it rough. She then told me she was always nice to her teachers, just not the---and here's where I sort of lost it---the curvy ones. I was like, "Say what? Did you just say the curvy ones? Like you hassled the fatties?" Of course, I couldn't stop laughing as I asked this, but I swear that's what I heard! She was like, "NO! The pervy ones!" Ehh...Whatever. Curvy was funnier.
This makes me think of the other day when I was helping some old man pick a user ID for online. I told him he needed to be creative in his choice, but he wasn't getting it. Like, it's not shocker that things like Brooklyn1 or Florida2 are taken. It's also not surprising that the names of our card types are taken. Like let's get creative here. He keeps going on and on with these stupid things and I'm like, "It's taken. Can we try a different number at the end?" And he's like, "No. I like the number 1." I suggested 11 since it's two ones, but he said, "No. I don't like that. And it makes it too long." Are you kidding me!? He thinks for like nearly a minute after trying literally a dozen or more names and he says, "Try freak1." Okay, that's what I heard. When I asked, trying to stifle my giggle, "Did you just say Freak one?" He started laughing so hard and corrects me. It did break the tension after our like 15 minute call about user ids. I probably would've liked him more if he chose that one...Even had it been "Geek1", I would've like him more. But I didn't like him because in his effort to not be creative, he wasted all the time I was supposed to be off early and instead of leaving 20 minutes early, I left at my usual time. Bah! Still...I'm starting to think I need to get my ears checked. Then again, perhaps it's selective hearing...
So, this was my experience of today without focusing on the assholes on the phone...Instead, I gave you a snippet of what it's like between the calls...Sometimes it almost makes the job bearable, but just barely...
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Do you have the time...To listen to me whine...
I've spent most of the day today writing...Not a blog, but I'm currently rewriting my novel and if I can trust my good buddy's opinion (And in this case, I'm pretty sure I can), then it's coming along much better than the first draft of the book. I had been working on turning it into a play, and whereas that might've worked, it just makes more sense as a book...Or possibly a movie, but a book first. I know, I'm dreaming big. Anyway, I cannot write without music. I can't even write a blog without music. In fact, I can't do much without music playing...Like it has to be there to help me focus. I wish they played music at my work...I think I'd be happier. But again, not the point. As I was writing today, I kept thinking about my day yesterday...Yesterday was such a bad day. By the time I got off work, I just wanted to curl up under my desk and cry. Like I couldn't have taken one more call if I tried without crying. I was just at my wit's end. Two of my work friends--One was the one I heretofore called "Winona", but will be "Giggles" going forward (I said "Giggles" as in a girl who giggles a lot and not "Chuckles" like a scary clown you wake up and find standing over your bed when you thought you were alone!) and the other is my ex-cubie who we shall call "Texas" simply because all my exes live in Texas (haha!)-- were talking about going out after work for dinner, to play the bubble game (It's a fish penny machine) at the casino, or whatever. Part of me wanted to be all, "Me too! Pick me! I'll go too!" But the rest of me felt like after work, I should go home, not out to fuck around, you know? (Phoenix later scolded me and said I should've gone out since I never blow off steam anymore. Good to know.) So, after my bad day, I walked out of work alone, thinking, "This was such a bad fucking day..." when my phone rang. I expected it to be Phoenix, but no, it was one of my best buddies, J-Dawg. That's what I needed--A friendly voice.
I love you, J-dawg. I know you're reading this...Maybe you should skip ahead. lol What I needed was to laugh with my friend last night, but instead, I was a good friend and let her vent about CPS troubles. I love all my friends and no matter how fucked everything is at the time, I will let them vent, talk, whatever they need, but I really needed something more last night. (Do not apologize, J-Dawg! And I'm not putting you on blast, I swear! Do not hate me!) I know she needed to get it out. So, once I pulled in my driveway, I got off the phone with her and talked to Phoenix, who wasn't home yet because she had taken the kids to Chick-Fil-A to eat dinner with her sister and her nieces. (Do not eat at Chick-Fil-A! They donate to anti-gay marriage groups!! Phoenix doesn't care, but I do!) I walked into the darkened, empty house thinking, "This fucking sucks." My head was killing me because I still haven't smoked and I have no release for all the stress I'm carrying around. Usually, on my way home from work, I blast music and rock out because that's like my form of therapy...I didn't do that. I came in, checked my Facebook, then headed upstairs to shower. I turned on Slacker Radio on my phone and turned on the water for a shower. The song that came on was an old Green Day song and I thought of my friends...Well, the people I used to hang out with in California. They're all still my friends, but I never see them anymore and hanging out with them isn't the same. You really can't go home again because nothing is the same. I'm sure it's me who's changed and not them, but it's not like it used to be. These thoughts only made my head hurt worse and next thing I knew, I was violently throwing up the nothingness that was in my stomach. Like literally, I had nothing in my stomach, so it was just dry heaves. Good times...
I stayed up late last night writing and whatever because I couldn't sleep. Today, I started writing again and as I listened to my itunes, I kept thinking about my friends. I listen to a lot of songs that make me miss my friends...No matter how much time goes by or how far away we live from each other, I still think about them and the good times...Some of these songs go all the way back to high school...Please, allow me to share a few...(J-Dawg, I hope you're still reading!)
Blink 182- All the Small Things- This makes me think of J-Dawg dancing around all crazy, with her arms straight out, spinning in a circle. I don't know where the hell we were, but she was so crazy and out of control. I have to smile each time I hear the song.
Toby Keith- How Do you Like Me Now? - This makes me think of J-Dawg and another friend of ours. We went to go see Where the Heart Is or something and this song came on while waiting for the movie to start. They both leapt out of their seats and started dancing in the aisle. It was the middle of the afternoon and there wasn't anyone else in with us, but I kept wondering what would happen if someone came. I had to admit that it was pretty freakin' funny though. Good times, for sure.
Dynamite Hack- Boys in the Hood- The first time I heard this song I was pulling into Newport Beach, Ca with a friend I had made while working at Burger King. We spent quite a few afternoons napping on the beach and getting some sun. The song came on the radio, KROQ to be exact, and we were like, "What the hell is this song?" But because it was a bunch of white boys, singing about being gansta, we loved it immediately. Plus, who doesn't like to sing, "I reached back like a pimp and I smacked the hoe!"? lol
The Presidents of the United States of America- Peaches and Lump- These two songs immediately make me think of both my nemesis, The Black Spy, and our good friend, whom I used to call Moron, mostly because her last name is very nearly "Moron". So, I was in school with these two when the above mentioned songs came out and with only a word whispered, "Peaches..." or "Lump" the fucking song would instantly be embedded in our heads. So, for a couple of years, we tormented one another by mentioning these songs. Of course, it never completely stopped because we still randomly text one another or leave messages on Facebook with the lyrics. Haha...Some things never change.
Jewel- Standing Still- I was driving to a catering job with a friend of mine and we were listening to some mixed CD that had this song on it. Whilst we drove, we were eating Nerds Candy (You are what you eat, right?) and I took a swig off the box and filled my mouth with the candy. I chewed them, swallowed them, and then went back to singing my heart out. As I sang, (I think it was this part) "Dooooo youuuuu neeeeeed meeeee--" The sugar suddenly burned my throat. You know that cheap ass Red Punch they sell in those gallon jugs (like milk jugs) at the grocery store that the room mom's always used to buy back when we were kids in elementary school? You'd always take a big swig of that punch thinking it was going to taste like fruit punch or Hawaiian Punch, but that shit burned going down and you'd be making weird noises as it scratched its way down your throat...Or was that just me? *shifty eyes* Moving on...So, there I was, singing my heart out, and WHAM! Sugar burn down my throat. And in mid-note, I'm like, "cchhh-aaaghdjalksonfgoiwen" <~~~I have no clue what that even means. I can't type the weird noise I made. It was like I suddenly started speaking German and was making that guttural noise in my throat. It wasn't pretty. But it was fucking hilarious.
Orgy- Blue Monday- When I hear this song, I remember flying down the 210 freeway with my friend, Vegas, in her Fiero. First of all, those cars are crazy low to the ground and I have no clue how I ever got into and out of her fucking car. I mean, I might as well have been sitting on the fucking ground. I'm just sayin'...Secondly, what the hell kind of car doesn't have a backseat? That's the smallest car I've ever been in. And now they sell those smart cars, which are even smaller. No thanks, I choose not to drive around in a sardine can. But I digress...We were hauling ass down the 210 freeway because this song came on and you just have to drive faster when you hear it. We were rocking out so hard to this song, singing our hearts out, that we didn't notice we were doing like 110mph. HOLY SHIT! 110mph in a deathtrap! A DEATHTRAP, I'M TELLING YOU!! Do you know where we were going in such a hurry? To a fucking coffee house. We weren't even going anywhere important! Who drives that fast to get coffee??? Apparently, the Heathers do. I don't know how I made it to the ripe old age of 32. But to this day, when I hear this song, I feel the need to put the pedal to the metal and just blast this song. Of course, I don't though because I'm a mature woman now...*shifty eyes*
The B-52s- Love Shack- I know that this song should remind me of karaoke with Phoenix's sister, but it doesn't...Well, I mean, yes, but the main memory that comes to mind is driving to the beach with my mom's youngest sister...Fuck, I don't have fake names for all these people! BAH! Anyway, so me and my aunt are driving along and we get stuck in shitty Southern California beach traffic. The air conditioner didn't work in her like 1981 (I don't know the year) Honda something or another. It was this reddish colored square car with a sunroof. I thought, at the ripe old age of like 10, that it was the raddest car ever because of the sunroof. (I was 10, you rat bastard! Stop laughing at me!) So, we had the windows down, the sunroof open, and KROQ blasting. Here comes Love Shack! My aunt turns the music up even louder and we sing our heads off. At some point in time, while we were singing, she starts to dance. She doesn't dance all normal...No, she's like rocking out doing the swim (I don't know the names of these dances, but she was plugging her nose like she was going under water...Dude, again, I was 10. That was 22 years ago, you jerk!) and the mashed potato...Okay, I don't even know what the mashed potato is, beside the food. There she is dancing and I look to the side and am immediately horrified because I was old enough to realize other people would look at us and they were! AAUGH! I was like, "Stop! Don't do that!" My cries fell on deaf ears...She only rocked out more. Looking back, I love her for that...Back then, I was humiliated and I couldn't slip down in my seat enough to avoid the looks from the drivers around us...Hahaha...
John Cougar Mellencamp- Cherry Bomb- (And yes, this was when he was still John Cougar Mellencamp, not just John Mellencamp!) Okay, this is the last one I'll mention. As I started thinking about my friends and their songs, I also started thinking about my family, hence the above one about my aunt. So, this is my mom's jam. She loves this ridiculous song and she dances every time it comes on. My mom can't dance. Mom, I love you, but you can't dance. *grins* I speak the truth, woman. Just listen to me. My mom almost looks like she's doing aerobics when she dances. The memory that comes to mind is back in the house that I grew up in back in Hesperia, Ca. The stereo was on Y102 and this song came on. My mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner or something and I was in the kitchen doing homework. I was probably in my early teens and she stops cooking so she can sing and dance. It must've been early fall or something because it was warm in the house, but we had all the windows open along with both the front and back door. My jackass dad wasn't around and I don't know where my sister and brother were (Maybe outside playing), but my mom was there with me and she was dancing all crazy. I remember thinking that it was obvious that her and her younger sister were related because they both danced like crazy maniacs...lol
So, yeah...Today, I was listening to songs and memories were coming back to me and I realize I really miss my friends. Don't get me wrong...Giggles and Texas are great, but they're about the closest thing I have out here to my buddies back home. I have yet to hang out with them outside of work really, but I get to laugh with them at work and it helps, but sometimes a girl just needs to get the hell out and blow off some steam. So, to all of my old friends reading this, I don't miss your dumbass. You misread this...*grins* C'mon, I haven't gone all sappy...Haha...Okay, maybe I miss you guys a little. I might even miss a few of you who I don't really talk to anymore either. Sometimes growing up sort of sucks as we outgrow those we had called friends back in the day...I suppose we'll always have our memories though, right?
I love you, J-dawg. I know you're reading this...Maybe you should skip ahead. lol What I needed was to laugh with my friend last night, but instead, I was a good friend and let her vent about CPS troubles. I love all my friends and no matter how fucked everything is at the time, I will let them vent, talk, whatever they need, but I really needed something more last night. (Do not apologize, J-Dawg! And I'm not putting you on blast, I swear! Do not hate me!) I know she needed to get it out. So, once I pulled in my driveway, I got off the phone with her and talked to Phoenix, who wasn't home yet because she had taken the kids to Chick-Fil-A to eat dinner with her sister and her nieces. (Do not eat at Chick-Fil-A! They donate to anti-gay marriage groups!! Phoenix doesn't care, but I do!) I walked into the darkened, empty house thinking, "This fucking sucks." My head was killing me because I still haven't smoked and I have no release for all the stress I'm carrying around. Usually, on my way home from work, I blast music and rock out because that's like my form of therapy...I didn't do that. I came in, checked my Facebook, then headed upstairs to shower. I turned on Slacker Radio on my phone and turned on the water for a shower. The song that came on was an old Green Day song and I thought of my friends...Well, the people I used to hang out with in California. They're all still my friends, but I never see them anymore and hanging out with them isn't the same. You really can't go home again because nothing is the same. I'm sure it's me who's changed and not them, but it's not like it used to be. These thoughts only made my head hurt worse and next thing I knew, I was violently throwing up the nothingness that was in my stomach. Like literally, I had nothing in my stomach, so it was just dry heaves. Good times...
I stayed up late last night writing and whatever because I couldn't sleep. Today, I started writing again and as I listened to my itunes, I kept thinking about my friends. I listen to a lot of songs that make me miss my friends...No matter how much time goes by or how far away we live from each other, I still think about them and the good times...Some of these songs go all the way back to high school...Please, allow me to share a few...(J-Dawg, I hope you're still reading!)
Blink 182- All the Small Things- This makes me think of J-Dawg dancing around all crazy, with her arms straight out, spinning in a circle. I don't know where the hell we were, but she was so crazy and out of control. I have to smile each time I hear the song.
Toby Keith- How Do you Like Me Now? - This makes me think of J-Dawg and another friend of ours. We went to go see Where the Heart Is or something and this song came on while waiting for the movie to start. They both leapt out of their seats and started dancing in the aisle. It was the middle of the afternoon and there wasn't anyone else in with us, but I kept wondering what would happen if someone came. I had to admit that it was pretty freakin' funny though. Good times, for sure.
Dynamite Hack- Boys in the Hood- The first time I heard this song I was pulling into Newport Beach, Ca with a friend I had made while working at Burger King. We spent quite a few afternoons napping on the beach and getting some sun. The song came on the radio, KROQ to be exact, and we were like, "What the hell is this song?" But because it was a bunch of white boys, singing about being gansta, we loved it immediately. Plus, who doesn't like to sing, "I reached back like a pimp and I smacked the hoe!"? lol
The Presidents of the United States of America- Peaches and Lump- These two songs immediately make me think of both my nemesis, The Black Spy, and our good friend, whom I used to call Moron, mostly because her last name is very nearly "Moron". So, I was in school with these two when the above mentioned songs came out and with only a word whispered, "Peaches..." or "Lump" the fucking song would instantly be embedded in our heads. So, for a couple of years, we tormented one another by mentioning these songs. Of course, it never completely stopped because we still randomly text one another or leave messages on Facebook with the lyrics. Haha...Some things never change.
Jewel- Standing Still- I was driving to a catering job with a friend of mine and we were listening to some mixed CD that had this song on it. Whilst we drove, we were eating Nerds Candy (You are what you eat, right?) and I took a swig off the box and filled my mouth with the candy. I chewed them, swallowed them, and then went back to singing my heart out. As I sang, (I think it was this part) "Dooooo youuuuu neeeeeed meeeee--" The sugar suddenly burned my throat. You know that cheap ass Red Punch they sell in those gallon jugs (like milk jugs) at the grocery store that the room mom's always used to buy back when we were kids in elementary school? You'd always take a big swig of that punch thinking it was going to taste like fruit punch or Hawaiian Punch, but that shit burned going down and you'd be making weird noises as it scratched its way down your throat...Or was that just me? *shifty eyes* Moving on...So, there I was, singing my heart out, and WHAM! Sugar burn down my throat. And in mid-note, I'm like, "cchhh-aaaghdjalksonfgoiwen" <~~~I have no clue what that even means. I can't type the weird noise I made. It was like I suddenly started speaking German and was making that guttural noise in my throat. It wasn't pretty. But it was fucking hilarious.
Orgy- Blue Monday- When I hear this song, I remember flying down the 210 freeway with my friend, Vegas, in her Fiero. First of all, those cars are crazy low to the ground and I have no clue how I ever got into and out of her fucking car. I mean, I might as well have been sitting on the fucking ground. I'm just sayin'...Secondly, what the hell kind of car doesn't have a backseat? That's the smallest car I've ever been in. And now they sell those smart cars, which are even smaller. No thanks, I choose not to drive around in a sardine can. But I digress...We were hauling ass down the 210 freeway because this song came on and you just have to drive faster when you hear it. We were rocking out so hard to this song, singing our hearts out, that we didn't notice we were doing like 110mph. HOLY SHIT! 110mph in a deathtrap! A DEATHTRAP, I'M TELLING YOU!! Do you know where we were going in such a hurry? To a fucking coffee house. We weren't even going anywhere important! Who drives that fast to get coffee??? Apparently, the Heathers do. I don't know how I made it to the ripe old age of 32. But to this day, when I hear this song, I feel the need to put the pedal to the metal and just blast this song. Of course, I don't though because I'm a mature woman now...*shifty eyes*
The B-52s- Love Shack- I know that this song should remind me of karaoke with Phoenix's sister, but it doesn't...Well, I mean, yes, but the main memory that comes to mind is driving to the beach with my mom's youngest sister...Fuck, I don't have fake names for all these people! BAH! Anyway, so me and my aunt are driving along and we get stuck in shitty Southern California beach traffic. The air conditioner didn't work in her like 1981 (I don't know the year) Honda something or another. It was this reddish colored square car with a sunroof. I thought, at the ripe old age of like 10, that it was the raddest car ever because of the sunroof. (I was 10, you rat bastard! Stop laughing at me!) So, we had the windows down, the sunroof open, and KROQ blasting. Here comes Love Shack! My aunt turns the music up even louder and we sing our heads off. At some point in time, while we were singing, she starts to dance. She doesn't dance all normal...No, she's like rocking out doing the swim (I don't know the names of these dances, but she was plugging her nose like she was going under water...Dude, again, I was 10. That was 22 years ago, you jerk!) and the mashed potato...Okay, I don't even know what the mashed potato is, beside the food. There she is dancing and I look to the side and am immediately horrified because I was old enough to realize other people would look at us and they were! AAUGH! I was like, "Stop! Don't do that!" My cries fell on deaf ears...She only rocked out more. Looking back, I love her for that...Back then, I was humiliated and I couldn't slip down in my seat enough to avoid the looks from the drivers around us...Hahaha...
John Cougar Mellencamp- Cherry Bomb- (And yes, this was when he was still John Cougar Mellencamp, not just John Mellencamp!) Okay, this is the last one I'll mention. As I started thinking about my friends and their songs, I also started thinking about my family, hence the above one about my aunt. So, this is my mom's jam. She loves this ridiculous song and she dances every time it comes on. My mom can't dance. Mom, I love you, but you can't dance. *grins* I speak the truth, woman. Just listen to me. My mom almost looks like she's doing aerobics when she dances. The memory that comes to mind is back in the house that I grew up in back in Hesperia, Ca. The stereo was on Y102 and this song came on. My mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner or something and I was in the kitchen doing homework. I was probably in my early teens and she stops cooking so she can sing and dance. It must've been early fall or something because it was warm in the house, but we had all the windows open along with both the front and back door. My jackass dad wasn't around and I don't know where my sister and brother were (Maybe outside playing), but my mom was there with me and she was dancing all crazy. I remember thinking that it was obvious that her and her younger sister were related because they both danced like crazy maniacs...lol
So, yeah...Today, I was listening to songs and memories were coming back to me and I realize I really miss my friends. Don't get me wrong...Giggles and Texas are great, but they're about the closest thing I have out here to my buddies back home. I have yet to hang out with them outside of work really, but I get to laugh with them at work and it helps, but sometimes a girl just needs to get the hell out and blow off some steam. So, to all of my old friends reading this, I don't miss your dumbass. You misread this...*grins* C'mon, I haven't gone all sappy...Haha...Okay, maybe I miss you guys a little. I might even miss a few of you who I don't really talk to anymore either. Sometimes growing up sort of sucks as we outgrow those we had called friends back in the day...I suppose we'll always have our memories though, right?
Monday, January 16, 2012
I just want to scream...HELLOOOOO!!!
Okay, so I stole my title from a line in a Pearl Jam song...So sue me! It's how I feel lately. I realized that like a week and a half ago when I was driving home and that song (For those of you not in the know it's called, Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town...Yes, it's like the longest title for a Pearl Jam song.) came on my iPod and I found myself rockin' out to it and when it got to that part, I was literally shouting it...Hmm...Apparently, I need an outlet. Luckily, I drive home from work alone so no one is forced to listen to my lousy singing voice. I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. That's not the point though...The point is this--My fucking head hurts.
There's been so much stuff going on and I am just swimming. Just like Dory in Finding Nemo--Just keep swimming. I feel like I'm barely treading water though and I'm not sure what I can do to change it all. Everything just seems to get so fucked up so quickly and then I find myself, surveying the nuclear fallout going, "What the fuck just happened? How did this happen?" And it's never anything huge--No, it's always the small little things that you don't notice. Like getting a third kid. lol Okay, that's not little, but you know what I mean. We had two foster kids...What's a third kid? Well, let me tell you--It's HUGE! It seems like a little thing, especially since he's only two, but fuck me running...No one wants two two year olds. If Phoenix and I ever have twins, I'm moving out and will return when they're all grown up. Suddenly Hurricane is instigating all kinds of shit and can't go three seconds without going into meltdown because she has to have everything Mr. Mischief has...or beat him. Beat him going downstairs, upstairs, out the door, to the kitchen table...Anywhere and everywhere. She will push him, hit him, and bite him to beat him. I'm not altogether sure that he knows it's a competition. We've had him for nearly a month now (Or maybe a month...I don't know.) and they keep saying we won't have him much longer because they found a family member to take him, which is great because I'm pretty sure we'll have the other two until they grow up and get married. I'll be sad though because I really like Mr. Mischief...He's adorable...And not a girl with girl drama. *grins*
So, we got the third kid thinking it'd be all right. It changed everything. Not only did Hurricane start acting up, but so did Sir Complains A Lot (Hurricane's older sister). Not so much with us, but at Daycare. So not cool. Whilst dealing with the shit with the kids and the holidays, work has gone to hell in a hand basket. I cannot stand my job. I find myself getting nauseous each morning when I have to log in to take that first call. I know, no one calls their credit card company because they're happy. No, they all call because they're fucking idiots with their heads so far up their asses they have no idea which way is up. But I never know if I'm going to get that person that's going to lose it on me or the one who is totally cool and then gets a survey and goes fucking postal in the survey about shit we never talked about because they're passive aggressive fuckheads. If you have a problem and you don't tell me, then I can't fix it. Weird how that works, huh? So, yeah...My scores at work totally fucking tanked because people suck hairy schweaty balls. Extra bonus money? Oh no, I think not. Who needs money anyway, right?
Speaking of work, we just got word that they're changing the way they pay us out for the bonuses and for our sales...In reality, I'm pretty sure they're trying to find ways to pay us less because if I get even just a few bad surveys, I'm only going to get a percentage of my sales. It's not fair. Yes, I know, life isn't fair...Blah, blah, blah. I get that. I'm not having a pity party, but if I earn something, I should get it and some asshole who can't handle the responsibility of having a credit card shouldn't have the ability to take that away from me. If I'm being immature or something, then by all means, call me out, but I think I'm right in this. That's like if you're a waiter/waitress and you earn your tips, but all month they go in a bucket and you know you have like $300 in tips. At the end of the month, your boss comes up and says, "I'm only giving you $150 because a few tables said they didn't like our food." Would that be fair? Or if you cut hair and your boss says they're taking away some of your tips because one of your clients doesn't like the person they spoke to at the desk on the way in or hated the music playing in the background. Would you like that? No, you'd be like, "Fuck you!" Except, I can't say that...I had to sign on the dotted line saying I'd be okay taking just a cut because if I didn't sign, I wouldn't get my pay out at all. I might as well have signed my soul to the devil...That's how I felt.
In our "private lives", not that we have those because I like to share my life and times with the world, Phoenix has been having a rough time. Her Aunt Prudence, who was technically a Step-Aunt and only 39, passed away on December 30. She had been battling cancer for the last three or so years. It was really horrible and I felt so bad. Phoenix basically grew up with her since Prudence was pretty young when Phoenix's dad got with Prudence's sister (Phoenix's step-mom). We spent a lot of time with her family and I don't even know how that would feel. We went to the viewing and then the funeral. Along the way I found myself thinking that viewings are fucking morbid. When I die, I don't want people looking at me. And because I've read far too many Stephen King/Dean Koontz books, it was hard to go look at her because something in the back of my head said she may just pop up. I know, I'm sick and demented, but I can't help it. I knew she wouldn't, but it was still there...Like a warning, "Watch out!" But then when I went up there and looked at her, she didn't even look like her...Not that it was someone else and we were in the wrong room, but when someone passes on, it's not them anymore. It's not just bone structure and such that make a person...It's everything, they're personality and everything. Prudence didn't look like Prudence. It just sucks. Since that happened, Phoenix hasn't been okay. She's on edge a lot and I get it. I try to help how I can, but things are rough. It's hard with the kids and I feel like I spend a lot of my life now saying things like, "Don't do that," "Sit down!", "Don't play on the stairs!", "That's not a toy!" And so on and so on. I know she needs time to process what happened and it's hard because time is the one thing we never seem to have enough of.
So, in true Heather fashion, I decided to give up smoking once again. I quit before and went two years without smoking and then I started again because I'm an idiot. I quit a while back for almost a month, but I kept getting bad headaches, like to the point that I wanted to just lock myself in a dark room and not talk to people. Honestly, I was going to spend my spare time crying because my head had hurt so bad. Phoenix finally bought me a pack and was like, "Here." I shouldn't have smoked them, but then I did...And then more packs. So, here I am again. Five days of not smoking. I don't feel as edgy as I did the last few days, but my head is killing me. It feels like it's in a vice and someone just keeps twisting the fucking thing. For the first couple of days, I couldn't sit still. I was so antsy, I felt like an ADHD kid without his/her Ritalin. I never have issues focusing on things, but I couldn't the other day. I was hyper too, which is so not like me. I'm hoping to find some sort of relief from this headache. I've tried Motrin and Tylenol, but neither has helped. I can't handle it. I especially can't handle it when I have to go to work and take calls for 10 hours a day. Something has got to give here soon...I fear it's going to be my sanity. We'll see what happens...
There's been so much stuff going on and I am just swimming. Just like Dory in Finding Nemo--Just keep swimming. I feel like I'm barely treading water though and I'm not sure what I can do to change it all. Everything just seems to get so fucked up so quickly and then I find myself, surveying the nuclear fallout going, "What the fuck just happened? How did this happen?" And it's never anything huge--No, it's always the small little things that you don't notice. Like getting a third kid. lol Okay, that's not little, but you know what I mean. We had two foster kids...What's a third kid? Well, let me tell you--It's HUGE! It seems like a little thing, especially since he's only two, but fuck me running...No one wants two two year olds. If Phoenix and I ever have twins, I'm moving out and will return when they're all grown up. Suddenly Hurricane is instigating all kinds of shit and can't go three seconds without going into meltdown because she has to have everything Mr. Mischief has...or beat him. Beat him going downstairs, upstairs, out the door, to the kitchen table...Anywhere and everywhere. She will push him, hit him, and bite him to beat him. I'm not altogether sure that he knows it's a competition. We've had him for nearly a month now (Or maybe a month...I don't know.) and they keep saying we won't have him much longer because they found a family member to take him, which is great because I'm pretty sure we'll have the other two until they grow up and get married. I'll be sad though because I really like Mr. Mischief...He's adorable...And not a girl with girl drama. *grins*
So, we got the third kid thinking it'd be all right. It changed everything. Not only did Hurricane start acting up, but so did Sir Complains A Lot (Hurricane's older sister). Not so much with us, but at Daycare. So not cool. Whilst dealing with the shit with the kids and the holidays, work has gone to hell in a hand basket. I cannot stand my job. I find myself getting nauseous each morning when I have to log in to take that first call. I know, no one calls their credit card company because they're happy. No, they all call because they're fucking idiots with their heads so far up their asses they have no idea which way is up. But I never know if I'm going to get that person that's going to lose it on me or the one who is totally cool and then gets a survey and goes fucking postal in the survey about shit we never talked about because they're passive aggressive fuckheads. If you have a problem and you don't tell me, then I can't fix it. Weird how that works, huh? So, yeah...My scores at work totally fucking tanked because people suck hairy schweaty balls. Extra bonus money? Oh no, I think not. Who needs money anyway, right?
Speaking of work, we just got word that they're changing the way they pay us out for the bonuses and for our sales...In reality, I'm pretty sure they're trying to find ways to pay us less because if I get even just a few bad surveys, I'm only going to get a percentage of my sales. It's not fair. Yes, I know, life isn't fair...Blah, blah, blah. I get that. I'm not having a pity party, but if I earn something, I should get it and some asshole who can't handle the responsibility of having a credit card shouldn't have the ability to take that away from me. If I'm being immature or something, then by all means, call me out, but I think I'm right in this. That's like if you're a waiter/waitress and you earn your tips, but all month they go in a bucket and you know you have like $300 in tips. At the end of the month, your boss comes up and says, "I'm only giving you $150 because a few tables said they didn't like our food." Would that be fair? Or if you cut hair and your boss says they're taking away some of your tips because one of your clients doesn't like the person they spoke to at the desk on the way in or hated the music playing in the background. Would you like that? No, you'd be like, "Fuck you!" Except, I can't say that...I had to sign on the dotted line saying I'd be okay taking just a cut because if I didn't sign, I wouldn't get my pay out at all. I might as well have signed my soul to the devil...That's how I felt.
In our "private lives", not that we have those because I like to share my life and times with the world, Phoenix has been having a rough time. Her Aunt Prudence, who was technically a Step-Aunt and only 39, passed away on December 30. She had been battling cancer for the last three or so years. It was really horrible and I felt so bad. Phoenix basically grew up with her since Prudence was pretty young when Phoenix's dad got with Prudence's sister (Phoenix's step-mom). We spent a lot of time with her family and I don't even know how that would feel. We went to the viewing and then the funeral. Along the way I found myself thinking that viewings are fucking morbid. When I die, I don't want people looking at me. And because I've read far too many Stephen King/Dean Koontz books, it was hard to go look at her because something in the back of my head said she may just pop up. I know, I'm sick and demented, but I can't help it. I knew she wouldn't, but it was still there...Like a warning, "Watch out!" But then when I went up there and looked at her, she didn't even look like her...Not that it was someone else and we were in the wrong room, but when someone passes on, it's not them anymore. It's not just bone structure and such that make a person...It's everything, they're personality and everything. Prudence didn't look like Prudence. It just sucks. Since that happened, Phoenix hasn't been okay. She's on edge a lot and I get it. I try to help how I can, but things are rough. It's hard with the kids and I feel like I spend a lot of my life now saying things like, "Don't do that," "Sit down!", "Don't play on the stairs!", "That's not a toy!" And so on and so on. I know she needs time to process what happened and it's hard because time is the one thing we never seem to have enough of.
So, in true Heather fashion, I decided to give up smoking once again. I quit before and went two years without smoking and then I started again because I'm an idiot. I quit a while back for almost a month, but I kept getting bad headaches, like to the point that I wanted to just lock myself in a dark room and not talk to people. Honestly, I was going to spend my spare time crying because my head had hurt so bad. Phoenix finally bought me a pack and was like, "Here." I shouldn't have smoked them, but then I did...And then more packs. So, here I am again. Five days of not smoking. I don't feel as edgy as I did the last few days, but my head is killing me. It feels like it's in a vice and someone just keeps twisting the fucking thing. For the first couple of days, I couldn't sit still. I was so antsy, I felt like an ADHD kid without his/her Ritalin. I never have issues focusing on things, but I couldn't the other day. I was hyper too, which is so not like me. I'm hoping to find some sort of relief from this headache. I've tried Motrin and Tylenol, but neither has helped. I can't handle it. I especially can't handle it when I have to go to work and take calls for 10 hours a day. Something has got to give here soon...I fear it's going to be my sanity. We'll see what happens...
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