So, I got pre-qualified for a home loan, which, in and of itself is a miracle...I mean, we all know the Universe despises me and usually laughs wildly at me and the obstacles thrown at me. I am now starting to think that perhaps, just maybe, the Universe set me up yet again by approving me for a home loan...Allow me to explain...
I was told in November that I was close to qualifying, but that I should open a secured credit card to boost my score. It took forever, but I finally got the card. I'm not sure I needed it because without ever using it, Chase Bank qualified me, despite what the other woman had told me...Ehh, whatever. So, YAY! I qualified. This is too late to move from my apartment into a house of my choosing, so it looks like we'll be crashing at Phoenix's mom's house until we can get into something since our lease ends in February. Still...Ehhh, whatever. We can manage this.
I have enjoyed my many adventures of going house shopping...You know, exploring model homes I can never afford and stopping in at random open houses for the hell of it. Going actual house shopping has sucked big, hairy elephant balls. No, seriously. Phoenix and I scoured the internet to find cool houses that we liked. She found a site called zillow.com. Check it out. They also have a free app for your smart phones (Only the smart ones, not the stupid ones!), so you can drive around neighborhoods and see what the houses are worth and what's for sale. It's AWESOME! Anyway, we found we thought were awesome and did drive bys. No, not like the kind we used to do in south side Victorville way back in the day. This time, we left the guns at home and simply went armed with addresses and our cell phones.
Out of our favorite houses that we saw from the outside, it turned out all of them had either just accepted offers or were in escrow. Are you freakin' kidding me!? I was disappointed, but whatever...We opted to move our search to the outskirts of Phoenix because we could find larger houses. Before this though, my realtor took me (On Sunday, by myself) to see a few more houses. One of the houses had a horrible lay out and somehow made 1,800 sq feet look very, very small. Another one was cool, but still just didn't suit us. A third house was so freakin' ghetto and nasty that we only made it a couple steps in before he said, "Forget this place. You're not buying this one!" It smelled of cat piss and trash. Classy place, let me tell you. I was surprised we didn't find a couple of crack whores squatting in there. It was God-awful!
We moved our search area and he showed me a few houses out in El Mirage (AZ, not CA). The first one looked awesome from outside. It had great curb appeal and was a single story. Cool, cool. We went inside and immediately, I was like, "I don't think this is going to work." The living room carpet was stained and by what, I don't know. It was disgusting and needed to be ripped out. One of the 18' tiles was cracked and had a large piece missing, which meant we'd have to replace them all since it's too hard to match those tiles. The kitchen was okay, but one of the drawers was broken...The bedrooms looked like they had been through hell and back. All three of the "kid's" rooms needed wall repairs. It looked like the doors had been kicked open, knocking holes into the wall behind the door. One room was so bad, they put a steel corner piece on the wall and had started a repair, but never finished...All the carpets in the rooms were covered in stains from food, drink, and markers. My realtor said, "It's only like $72,000." Umm...Yeah...$72,000 too much. I would've had to yank out all the flooring before we moved in, plus repair some walls. No way! The next house was like 5 door down and across the street and it was awesome!! It's 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2200 sq feet, a big yard, a loft, etc...Seriously, this house had everything on our check list! It's only $82,900! It's totally in my budget! I was so excited. I liked the house a lot and wanted Phoenix to see it. Before heading home, my realtor took me to one more house though, just in cases...O-M-G! The house was in like TJ, as in TJ, Mexico!! We never found the actual house, but after cruising the neighborhood (Where a donkey and sombreros wouldn't have been out of place), I said, "We're good...Let's just head back." I didn't want to live next door to Pedro who sells Chicklets 5 for a dollar...Although...I do like gum...Hmmm...
So, Phoenix finally saw the house today and we were thinking, "We should put an offer in on the house." We asked the realtor about how the listing said I had to pre-qualify with Bank of America. He had asked about it the other day and the woman had said, "I think as long as you have paperwork showing you're qualified, it's fine." This was WRONG-O! Tonight, he called and the other realtor said, "No, she needs to qualify with BofA, otherwise her offer will not be considered." Are you fucking kidding me? I qualified with Chase. That's all that counts. Moving on...But no, if I want to make an offer, I'll have to have my credit pulled again and jump through hoops for BofA...I'm not sure about that. It doesn't seem right. I get that BofA owns it, but why would I have to go through them??? Does anyone know? I'm so confused! And now it's making me, "Maybe this house isn't for me..."
So, as you can see, the Universe, despite seeming benevolent for just a moment, is right back to laughing at me...*Shakes fist at sky angrily* Damn it, Universe! Just once make it easy!! Also, to anyone whose bought a house, any insight you have would be awesome!! Thanks...For now, I'm going to bed! Peace.
PS: I didn't grammar check this, so deal with it.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Tumble-ina...
Well, I have officially survived the holidays...It was a close call though. I mean, we had a great Christmas and all that, but on the Monday after Christmas I thought it'd be great to fling myself down the stairs, you know, for shits and giggles. Please, allow me to explain what happened...
So, I was up bright and early for work with Phoenix. I decided to do the Biggest Loser workout before work since I always have spare time. I did the workout and then got ready for work. My left knee (The one I had surgery on that always bothers me.) was hurting and sore. After reading the morning news for far too long, I left for work a few minutes later than usual. I have to walk to work, so I don't get the option to drive extra fast to make up for lost time. So, I left for work, locked my door, and started down the stairs. It was hella cold out, but there was no ice on the stairs. (That would've made it better somehow.) I was halfway down the stairs when I was putting on my iPod. My headphones were tangled, so I let go of the railing to untangle them. I've done this a billion times and never ate shit. Not this time though. I swear, no sooner had I let go and stepped with my left leg that I went flying down the stairs. I stepped with my left leg, my left knee said, "Oh hell no!" and went to Jello. I think my eyes popped out of my head as I realized what was going on. Suddenly, I saw stairs flying towards my face. I threw the iPod and grabbed for the railing, but that did little to stop my fall. Luckily, I had enough sense to tuck my head because I went ass over tea kettle down the remaining stairs. I ended up at the bottom of the stairs, flat on my back on top of my (man)bag. My first thought was, "Fuck! I have to go to work...I only have three hours sick time!" My second thought was, "Get up! People are going to laugh!!" I was the fat girl who fell down the stairs. I never screamed or anything. The only thing I had said was, "Shit!" just as I started to fall. I flew off the ground ninja-style so that no one would see me lying there. If you want to know what it looked like when I fell, well, then go see that movie "How Do You Know" or whatever it's called with Paul Rudd. He falls down the stairs, but he slides halfway down before flipping. I skipped sliding and just went into flipping because that's what all the cool kids do.
I walked to work that morning, and every morning since then, and let me tell you I was sore. Tuesday was a billion times worse. I woke feeling like I had been run over by a speeding train or something. Still, I had to go to work. Sitting in my chair all day only seemed to make it worse. Ehh, whatever...I survived the fall and I'm pretty much all right now. According to the nurse at my work, my "padding" probably saved me from really hurting myself. Good to know the fat came in handy for something. *rolls eyes* My fall, however, earned me a new nickname at work, "Tumble-ina"...You know, like Thumbelina, but not. My cube-mate who likes to mess with me threatened to ice over my stairs if I kept talking smack to her. *grins* Like I know how to stop talking shit? Our other cube-mate who sits across from us then bought me a present to help in case she happened to succeed in icing over my stairs...
Yup, she bought me de-icer. LOL My team at work is our Human Resource Department's worst nightmare. All we do is talk crap to each other. We incessantly tease one another and nothing is said without sarcasm. Yes, what I'm saying is I fit right in with these people, but I am pretty much convinced that when anyone from HR walks by, they close their eyes and plug their ears. What makes it more amusing is that our team leader used to be an HR manager at a store. *grins* She figures as long as we're not offending one another or whatever, then we're fine...I should blog one day and describe the random characters on my team...I think though when they hired me that they were like, "Oh, we know where to put this one..."
For New Year's Eve, we went to Phoenix's sister's house to party. We spent the evening singing karaoke and hanging out with her immediate family, which numbers like 50 people or something. It's crazy. It was a nice mellow evening and then we went to bed far too late to get up far too early for work. My work was so dead on New Year's Day...I took about 35 calls all day. There were times when I went thirty minutes between phone calls. I nearly fell asleep at my desk a few times. I did get some amusing calls though...
My first call of the day was from a scorned woman. One would think men know better than to mess with women...She was pissed off because she'd gotten into an argument with her boyfriend the night before. So, she called in to cut off his credit card!! *laughs wildly* I found that to be my favorite call all day long.
I got a call from a guy who sounded like he was still drinking who wanted to pay his accounts. I had to explain to him that he had paid them two days before and no payments were needed. He was like, "Really? You're my new best friend!" *rolls eyes* Okay, so I now have a new best friend...whatever his name was...
I got a couple of calls from people who were like, "What was my last charge?" I wanted to ask, "Are you trying to remember what you did last night? How much did you drink???" None of them wanted to know anything, but that. Ehh, whatever.
I also wanted to point out, because it's unlikely to happen again, that I was number one on my team for the month of December. I had the best survey scores. I was number one before I had taken my vacation, but I didn't hold my breath because I figured it wouldn't stay like that. When I got back from vacation, I was still number one. Everybody was doing really well too, but I was still like ten points ahead of the person in second place. I still wasn't holding my breath. In training, I had been top of the class and then out of no where, I crashed and burned. I knew it would happen again...Strangely enough, the Universe must've been looking the other way because I didn't crash too hard!! I stayed number one despite a bad survey about our gift cards, which had nothing to do with me. They never even mentioned the rep they spoke to. *rolls eyes* Jackasses. Apparently though, the Universe was paying attention in time to fuck me out of bonus money because until the day they posted the numbers for the bonuses, I was still in the higher bracket, but on the day the numbers updated one last time, I came out at 91.99, which is nice, but at 92.01, you get a sixty dollar higher pay out...So close. Eh, whatever. It's a bonus, right? Apparently, it was my talk-time that dropped me a little bit. Up until then, I'd been riding at 92.8. Stupid bonus. I get so close...I'm hoping to stay up there, but I doubt it after the calls I've had during the last week...I spent all day Wednesday getting yelled at by people because I couldn't remove their late fees or waive their membership fees or re-age their accounts or anything. You know, when we write off hundreds of dollars worth of fees for you, you can't just keep asking...eventually, we have to say no. *rolls eyes*
I guess that's about it for now...Our lease is coming to an end in at the end of February. We were hoping to buy a house, but that's not going to happen. I missed it by four credit points. I opened a secured credit card, but it's taking a long time for me to get that. I'm not going to raise it in time, I just know it. So, we're going to end up renting a house, which sucks because it's going to cost like twice as much as a mortgage would. Housing prices are so low right now...So, we'll rent in the meantime. I'm hoping we stay close enough to my work so I can still walk or ride my new mountain bike because I still don't have a car. I'm kind of stressed because we have to give our thirty day notice here and then quickly find someplace that's available at the end of February. We can't have the house for rent come up on March 1st, because we have to be out by then...It's just too much to think about right now. And the "not knowing" is keeping me up at night. What if we don't find a place? What if...? Well, you know what I'm talking about. It all just sucks balls...Wish us luck. We need a place with a backyard for our dog...And a place for the garden I so desperately want to plant.
Okay, I'm off to do something constructive...Peace out, all.
So, I was up bright and early for work with Phoenix. I decided to do the Biggest Loser workout before work since I always have spare time. I did the workout and then got ready for work. My left knee (The one I had surgery on that always bothers me.) was hurting and sore. After reading the morning news for far too long, I left for work a few minutes later than usual. I have to walk to work, so I don't get the option to drive extra fast to make up for lost time. So, I left for work, locked my door, and started down the stairs. It was hella cold out, but there was no ice on the stairs. (That would've made it better somehow.) I was halfway down the stairs when I was putting on my iPod. My headphones were tangled, so I let go of the railing to untangle them. I've done this a billion times and never ate shit. Not this time though. I swear, no sooner had I let go and stepped with my left leg that I went flying down the stairs. I stepped with my left leg, my left knee said, "Oh hell no!" and went to Jello. I think my eyes popped out of my head as I realized what was going on. Suddenly, I saw stairs flying towards my face. I threw the iPod and grabbed for the railing, but that did little to stop my fall. Luckily, I had enough sense to tuck my head because I went ass over tea kettle down the remaining stairs. I ended up at the bottom of the stairs, flat on my back on top of my (man)bag. My first thought was, "Fuck! I have to go to work...I only have three hours sick time!" My second thought was, "Get up! People are going to laugh!!" I was the fat girl who fell down the stairs. I never screamed or anything. The only thing I had said was, "Shit!" just as I started to fall. I flew off the ground ninja-style so that no one would see me lying there. If you want to know what it looked like when I fell, well, then go see that movie "How Do You Know" or whatever it's called with Paul Rudd. He falls down the stairs, but he slides halfway down before flipping. I skipped sliding and just went into flipping because that's what all the cool kids do.
I walked to work that morning, and every morning since then, and let me tell you I was sore. Tuesday was a billion times worse. I woke feeling like I had been run over by a speeding train or something. Still, I had to go to work. Sitting in my chair all day only seemed to make it worse. Ehh, whatever...I survived the fall and I'm pretty much all right now. According to the nurse at my work, my "padding" probably saved me from really hurting myself. Good to know the fat came in handy for something. *rolls eyes* My fall, however, earned me a new nickname at work, "Tumble-ina"...You know, like Thumbelina, but not. My cube-mate who likes to mess with me threatened to ice over my stairs if I kept talking smack to her. *grins* Like I know how to stop talking shit? Our other cube-mate who sits across from us then bought me a present to help in case she happened to succeed in icing over my stairs...
Yup, she bought me de-icer. LOL My team at work is our Human Resource Department's worst nightmare. All we do is talk crap to each other. We incessantly tease one another and nothing is said without sarcasm. Yes, what I'm saying is I fit right in with these people, but I am pretty much convinced that when anyone from HR walks by, they close their eyes and plug their ears. What makes it more amusing is that our team leader used to be an HR manager at a store. *grins* She figures as long as we're not offending one another or whatever, then we're fine...I should blog one day and describe the random characters on my team...I think though when they hired me that they were like, "Oh, we know where to put this one..."
For New Year's Eve, we went to Phoenix's sister's house to party. We spent the evening singing karaoke and hanging out with her immediate family, which numbers like 50 people or something. It's crazy. It was a nice mellow evening and then we went to bed far too late to get up far too early for work. My work was so dead on New Year's Day...I took about 35 calls all day. There were times when I went thirty minutes between phone calls. I nearly fell asleep at my desk a few times. I did get some amusing calls though...
My first call of the day was from a scorned woman. One would think men know better than to mess with women...She was pissed off because she'd gotten into an argument with her boyfriend the night before. So, she called in to cut off his credit card!! *laughs wildly* I found that to be my favorite call all day long.
I got a call from a guy who sounded like he was still drinking who wanted to pay his accounts. I had to explain to him that he had paid them two days before and no payments were needed. He was like, "Really? You're my new best friend!" *rolls eyes* Okay, so I now have a new best friend...whatever his name was...
I got a couple of calls from people who were like, "What was my last charge?" I wanted to ask, "Are you trying to remember what you did last night? How much did you drink???" None of them wanted to know anything, but that. Ehh, whatever.
I also wanted to point out, because it's unlikely to happen again, that I was number one on my team for the month of December. I had the best survey scores. I was number one before I had taken my vacation, but I didn't hold my breath because I figured it wouldn't stay like that. When I got back from vacation, I was still number one. Everybody was doing really well too, but I was still like ten points ahead of the person in second place. I still wasn't holding my breath. In training, I had been top of the class and then out of no where, I crashed and burned. I knew it would happen again...Strangely enough, the Universe must've been looking the other way because I didn't crash too hard!! I stayed number one despite a bad survey about our gift cards, which had nothing to do with me. They never even mentioned the rep they spoke to. *rolls eyes* Jackasses. Apparently though, the Universe was paying attention in time to fuck me out of bonus money because until the day they posted the numbers for the bonuses, I was still in the higher bracket, but on the day the numbers updated one last time, I came out at 91.99, which is nice, but at 92.01, you get a sixty dollar higher pay out...So close. Eh, whatever. It's a bonus, right? Apparently, it was my talk-time that dropped me a little bit. Up until then, I'd been riding at 92.8. Stupid bonus. I get so close...I'm hoping to stay up there, but I doubt it after the calls I've had during the last week...I spent all day Wednesday getting yelled at by people because I couldn't remove their late fees or waive their membership fees or re-age their accounts or anything. You know, when we write off hundreds of dollars worth of fees for you, you can't just keep asking...eventually, we have to say no. *rolls eyes*
I guess that's about it for now...Our lease is coming to an end in at the end of February. We were hoping to buy a house, but that's not going to happen. I missed it by four credit points. I opened a secured credit card, but it's taking a long time for me to get that. I'm not going to raise it in time, I just know it. So, we're going to end up renting a house, which sucks because it's going to cost like twice as much as a mortgage would. Housing prices are so low right now...So, we'll rent in the meantime. I'm hoping we stay close enough to my work so I can still walk or ride my new mountain bike because I still don't have a car. I'm kind of stressed because we have to give our thirty day notice here and then quickly find someplace that's available at the end of February. We can't have the house for rent come up on March 1st, because we have to be out by then...It's just too much to think about right now. And the "not knowing" is keeping me up at night. What if we don't find a place? What if...? Well, you know what I'm talking about. It all just sucks balls...Wish us luck. We need a place with a backyard for our dog...And a place for the garden I so desperately want to plant.
Okay, I'm off to do something constructive...Peace out, all.
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