Well, as most of you know, I could stand to lose some weight. I was going to swim daily, but I'm not fond of sharing the pool with strangers, so that's pretty much out. I mean, I don't mind kicking back at the pool when others are out there, but I'm not cool doing laps as Chinese dudes sit next to the pool watching me and speaking their language back and forth to one another. I just know that they're saying things like, "Don't whales normally swim faster?" Or perhaps, "Does she really think swimming is going to help her?" I suppose they could be discussing anything from their pilot classes to how badly the Indian people's food smells. (Trust me, there's nothing worse than walking down the apartment hallway and get a whiff of Indian food...And for some reason, it's worse when it's really hot out. I don't know what spices they use, but the smell of their food violates my nostrils. Yeah, I said violates; deal with it.) But I digress...So, yeah, the swimming thing would've been nice, but it's a no go, which sucks because I have bad knees and that's totally low-impact on them. Oh well.
Phoenix wants to start hiking, but I've been putting off that idea. I have no desire to hike in the desert when there's snakes on the loose. Have I mentioned my hatred of snakes? Seriously, they're gross. We played racquetball on Monday and last night, as we watched The Biggest Loser (Do any of you watch the show? If so, isn't Tracey such a bitch? She was trying to screw everyone over!!) I suggested we play again. So, this morning we got up at 9am, which is early for us, and went to go play. We played for a little over thirty minutes. On the plus side, it was 83 degrees with a lovely breeze. Phoenix was kind enough to constantly point out my mistakes like, "You're supposed to hit the ball after one bounce, not two or more." And "You're supposed to run to hit it!" Or "It doesn't count as a work out if you watch me run circles around you!" (Okay, I'm kidding about the last one; I didn't sit down once.) My problem with this game is that I suck. She tells me to give it time since this is only my second time playing, but seriously, I've never sucked at a sport I tried to play...Well, unless you count golf, but I don't. I rocked at soccer, basketball, and softball from the get go. (Not adult softball though. I can't get used to the slow-pitch crap.) So, yeah, it's a bit frustrating. I'm sure I'll get better, but it's going to take time. Unfortunately, Phoenix's sister (Little Phoenix's and Goofy's mom) wants to play with us now. It's okay to suck in front of Phoenix because, well, because she's not going to mock me too much...But her sister, on the other hand, might have a field day making fun of how the ball goes sailing over my head sometimes or how I try so hard to hit the ball, but totally miss...According to Phoenix, I have "good form" when I do that...Good form, my ass, I look like an idiot...
Tomorrow morning we're going walking and perhaps check out the gym facility here at the apartments. More importantly, she decided that when she gets off work tonight, we're going to go buy a scale *cringes at the thought* and then we're going to Dave and Busters. I know, how random, huh? Let me get to the point...We have like 90 billion tickets on our D&B's card...Or maybe like 10,500, you know, whatever. Anyway, we're going to go use our tickets to get the Hamilton (Haha, I originally typed "Huntington Beach"!! Yeah, I'm not from Cali.) Beach Blender they have. It's awesome! Then we'll be able to make fruit smoothies with yogurt. We were saving our tickets for a Wii, but that'll have to wait...Plus, we get to go play games for a while because we have a ton of credits left! WOO HOO!! I love D&B's.
So, please wish us luck on our weight loss venture. I'm hoping to lose some weight along the way. I'm also hoping to get better at racquetball so that I don't look like a fool with great form...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Racquetball and Domestic Partner Benefits...
I know what you're wondering right now: What the heck does racquetball and domestic partner benefits have in common? Well, I'll tell you--Absolutely nothing! Ha! Seriously though, they don't...Unless of course I injured myself playing racquetball, then I might need insurance through my partner to be seen by a doc, but yeah...I wasn't going in that direction. No, these two things are completely unrelated, but I am blogging about both so bear with me here, okay? Moving on...
Yesterday I went to go play racquetball with Phoenix and her nieces, Little Phoenix and Goofy. I thought yesterday was going to be a relaxing day since we had to go to Phoenix's dad's house to wait for the windshield repair guy to show up to repair her windshield. I'm not sure why her step-mom couldn't have the guy come here, but whatever. It was free through the insurance, so we're not complaining. Plus, we were there to loan her dad the car so he could go to the hardware store.It was a win-win situation for all involved.
Suddenly, as were hanging out at her dad's house, she brings up racquetball and he busts out his racquetball equipment. Do I look excited? Because I certainly don't feel excited! I agreed to go even though my back was aching (I hate being a girl with a regular cycle!) and my thighs were still burning from all the stairs the day before...And please don't get me started on my bad knees. (Why in the hell would I have chosen to be a goalie for soccer as a kid? Didn't I realize that falling on my knees so often would have long-term effects!?) Along the way, we decided to ask if Goofy and Little Phoenix wanted to join us, which of course they wanted to.
We went to some park Phoenix used to go to with her dad, but now, if you want to use the racquetball courts, tennis courts, basketball courts, etc, you have to have a Rec. Pass. These are $10 for adults and $5 for kids (They're good for a year, but still...). Ummm...Yeah, we went to a free park. At the second park, we were able to use whatever we wanted for free. We also got to explain to two children what "stoners" are. Good times. So, racquetball sucks. I am so bad at this game. I was however moving around and this has to count as exercise. I mean, I'm not likely to tell the Fergie-wanna-be from The Biggest Loser that playing racquetball for an hour is a work-out, but I swear it was...Especially since I had a headache and cramps. It was fun though to watch Phoenix try to jump to hit the balls as they sailed over her head and the kids hit the ball all wacky. Trust me, I suck at this game...I played soccer, basketball, and softball. I could even play football if I needed to. I don't play games like racquetball, tennis, or golf. (I've golfed before, but it's not half as relaxing as people say...Well, at least not when you go all Happy Gilmore on a sand trap...) Needless to say, after all that, I slept really well last night...I think we're going to play this more often. Phoenix's brothers play too and really, I'm just hoping they don't ask us to play with them. For one thing, we suck. For another, Phoenix cannot play on a team with me without yelling at me...I can't help it that I'm so much better at games than she is...Or perhaps it's the other way around...Eh, whatever.
So, domestic partner benefits. Arizona had them when their old governor was in office, but then she went to go work for Obama and left Jan Brewer in charge...What a mistake. This is a woman who says that God put her in an authoritative position to help out the state of Arizona with its troubles...I wonder if she means that God is telling her to screw over the gay community along with straight couples who fall under the domestic partnership benefits law. See, people who were in relationships, be it gay or straight, could apply for benefits and get covered if they could prove it was a real relationship. Phoenix and I just got done doing this so that I could get insurance because I haven't had any type of insurance in years...Like over six years now. Kind of scary, huh? Imagine with me for a moment what it's like to not have insurance, but break a toe...Now, if it's a simple break, there's nothing they can do for you anyway, but if your baby toe is say, sticking out at a 90 degree angle, it needs to be set, right? Well, if you don't have insurance, you might end up laying on a couch screaming into a throw pillow as your step-dad grabs it and puts it back in place...Not that I've ever experienced this firsthand, but it could happen, I'm sure. I only go to the doctor when I'm super sick and I haven't had a physical since I was like 22. I was looking forward to getting benefits because there are some things I need to have checked out by a doctor, but now Jan Brewer has decided to save the state of AZ $3 million by cutting domestic partner benefits. She's also cutting the benefits of domestic partners' kids, dependent students aged 23-24, and disabled adult dependents (or something like that). Yeah, I get it...The state is in trouble because it is way over budget, but this is a mere $3 million...I'm sure there are other things she could cut that wouldn't single out a specific group of people, which this does. And if you think I'm being harsh because of the statement I made above about her claiming that God put her in her position, go read the paper. There was an article about her talking to some Lutheran Pastors and that's what she told them. I don't care if people want to have faith in God, Buddha, Allah, or Jehovah, but I do have a problem when they use their religion as a basis for deciding what is good for the masses. What's sad is that most people won't even care about this happening because it doesn't affect them...On the flipside, if she was all, "I'm taking benefits away from all spouses and children of state workers," then everyone would be up in arms, but since this only affects the gays and a handful of straight couples no one really cares. It just sucks. I know one person that will be happy about this though since now Phoenix won't be providing insurance for me. Oh well...Whatever. I just want to send out a big ol' thank you though to all the ultra-conservative people, seriously, thank you so much for pushing your personal religious agenda onto me. I appreciate it.
Until next time...
Yesterday I went to go play racquetball with Phoenix and her nieces, Little Phoenix and Goofy. I thought yesterday was going to be a relaxing day since we had to go to Phoenix's dad's house to wait for the windshield repair guy to show up to repair her windshield. I'm not sure why her step-mom couldn't have the guy come here, but whatever. It was free through the insurance, so we're not complaining. Plus, we were there to loan her dad the car so he could go to the hardware store.It was a win-win situation for all involved.
Suddenly, as were hanging out at her dad's house, she brings up racquetball and he busts out his racquetball equipment. Do I look excited? Because I certainly don't feel excited! I agreed to go even though my back was aching (I hate being a girl with a regular cycle!) and my thighs were still burning from all the stairs the day before...And please don't get me started on my bad knees. (Why in the hell would I have chosen to be a goalie for soccer as a kid? Didn't I realize that falling on my knees so often would have long-term effects!?) Along the way, we decided to ask if Goofy and Little Phoenix wanted to join us, which of course they wanted to.
We went to some park Phoenix used to go to with her dad, but now, if you want to use the racquetball courts, tennis courts, basketball courts, etc, you have to have a Rec. Pass. These are $10 for adults and $5 for kids (They're good for a year, but still...). Ummm...Yeah, we went to a free park. At the second park, we were able to use whatever we wanted for free. We also got to explain to two children what "stoners" are. Good times. So, racquetball sucks. I am so bad at this game. I was however moving around and this has to count as exercise. I mean, I'm not likely to tell the Fergie-wanna-be from The Biggest Loser that playing racquetball for an hour is a work-out, but I swear it was...Especially since I had a headache and cramps. It was fun though to watch Phoenix try to jump to hit the balls as they sailed over her head and the kids hit the ball all wacky. Trust me, I suck at this game...I played soccer, basketball, and softball. I could even play football if I needed to. I don't play games like racquetball, tennis, or golf. (I've golfed before, but it's not half as relaxing as people say...Well, at least not when you go all Happy Gilmore on a sand trap...) Needless to say, after all that, I slept really well last night...I think we're going to play this more often. Phoenix's brothers play too and really, I'm just hoping they don't ask us to play with them. For one thing, we suck. For another, Phoenix cannot play on a team with me without yelling at me...I can't help it that I'm so much better at games than she is...Or perhaps it's the other way around...Eh, whatever.
So, domestic partner benefits. Arizona had them when their old governor was in office, but then she went to go work for Obama and left Jan Brewer in charge...What a mistake. This is a woman who says that God put her in an authoritative position to help out the state of Arizona with its troubles...I wonder if she means that God is telling her to screw over the gay community along with straight couples who fall under the domestic partnership benefits law. See, people who were in relationships, be it gay or straight, could apply for benefits and get covered if they could prove it was a real relationship. Phoenix and I just got done doing this so that I could get insurance because I haven't had any type of insurance in years...Like over six years now. Kind of scary, huh? Imagine with me for a moment what it's like to not have insurance, but break a toe...Now, if it's a simple break, there's nothing they can do for you anyway, but if your baby toe is say, sticking out at a 90 degree angle, it needs to be set, right? Well, if you don't have insurance, you might end up laying on a couch screaming into a throw pillow as your step-dad grabs it and puts it back in place...Not that I've ever experienced this firsthand, but it could happen, I'm sure. I only go to the doctor when I'm super sick and I haven't had a physical since I was like 22. I was looking forward to getting benefits because there are some things I need to have checked out by a doctor, but now Jan Brewer has decided to save the state of AZ $3 million by cutting domestic partner benefits. She's also cutting the benefits of domestic partners' kids, dependent students aged 23-24, and disabled adult dependents (or something like that). Yeah, I get it...The state is in trouble because it is way over budget, but this is a mere $3 million...I'm sure there are other things she could cut that wouldn't single out a specific group of people, which this does. And if you think I'm being harsh because of the statement I made above about her claiming that God put her in her position, go read the paper. There was an article about her talking to some Lutheran Pastors and that's what she told them. I don't care if people want to have faith in God, Buddha, Allah, or Jehovah, but I do have a problem when they use their religion as a basis for deciding what is good for the masses. What's sad is that most people won't even care about this happening because it doesn't affect them...On the flipside, if she was all, "I'm taking benefits away from all spouses and children of state workers," then everyone would be up in arms, but since this only affects the gays and a handful of straight couples no one really cares. It just sucks. I know one person that will be happy about this though since now Phoenix won't be providing insurance for me. Oh well...Whatever. I just want to send out a big ol' thank you though to all the ultra-conservative people, seriously, thank you so much for pushing your personal religious agenda onto me. I appreciate it.
Until next time...
Adventures with kids!!
Phoenix and I decided to take an adventure with her nieces (Grumpy-AKA Preggers, Little Phoenix, and Goofy) on Sunday. The adventure really began when we brought the girls over to stay the night on Saturday night, but yeah...How many girls can we make share a room? Haha! We decided that we would look at model homes and then go to the library to see what culture passes were available...Boy oh boy did we have our day cut out for us!!
After we all made ourselves pretty and ate breakfast, we took off on our adventure. We started by picking up Phoenix's new glasses. She was feeling brave and got slightly thicker frames than her old ones. I love them! Then we took off to look at some houses. We found a row of model homes, but the houses were pretty crappy...Small rooms, crappy layouts, and just not that exciting. (I know it sounds lame, but it's cool to go look at houses...Plus, they're all decorated and you can get great decorating tips. It's like HGTV without the commercials!) So, we came up with a story about how all three girls were our kids and that Grumpy has a little one on the way, so we need a big house. The houses we saw were all like 3 bedroom...Not too cool. When we walked back through the office, the woman working there stopped us. We said we needed bigger houses. Her response was, "Well, the loft can be a room. Or the den can be a bedroom." The dens were SMALL! We said, "Actually, we like the loft look and the dens were small." Her response was a rude, "You want at least four rooms with a loft and a den!?" Duh! We have three kids, plus us, and a little one on the way!! C'mon! She suggested some other houses up the road...a ways up the road. We went there. They only had one model house. It was cool, but small. It had a Cosita (spelling?) though which was awesome. Nothing like a guest room outside of the house for the in-laws/family, right? Er, um, I mean, I would never put family out of the house...*shifty eyes*
We took off to the library to get in line for our culture passes. We decided to take whatever passes we could get a hold of. Along the way, I told Phoenix that I hoped the creepy guy from last weekend wasn't there again. We decided to have me drop them off and then I'd go park, plus then I'd have the option to stay in the car is my biggest fan was there. I dropped them off and then parked. As I walked to join them, Phoenix called to say, "Grab the camera! He's here!" BAH! I got the camera, but she never got a shot of him. Luckily, Grumpy got one with her phone and you can clearly read his, "BBW Lust Only" tat. Yeah, as I walked up, he saw me and his whole face lit up. I was avoiding eye contact though and pretended not to notice him staring at me and trying to catch my eye. When I eventually looked at him, he nodded his head at me in a greeting. I simply smiled and looked away. After listening to all the girls make jokes, we finally got our pass to the Art Museum. Trust me when I say that there is nothing quite like having your girlfriend and her nieces ranging in ages from 18-8 razz you for some dorky guy hitting on you. It's not my fault that he finds my beauty alluring and cannot resist my award-winning smile! *grins* Inside the library, Mr. I Love Big Girls tried to talk to me. I smiled and walked right past him. I'm not sure how to make it more clear that I'm not interested...However, Phoenix and her nieces have decided that all of us will be going back each Sunday to see if he's there waiting to talk to me. Ummm, yeah, I'm not going. Phoenix is threatening to tell him, "Oh good you're here! My friend was hoping to see you so she can give you her number!" I think I'm going to pass him a note next time I see him that will read, "I like big girls too..." Think he'll take the hint?
After narrowly escaping my stalker, we moved on to the art museum. We played the iPod game, which allows for everyone to take a turn picking a song. We started playing the game when we left the apartment in the morning. Anyway, it's fun to listen to everyone's choices...It's like hip-hop one minute, then alternative, then 80s music, then musical songs, etc...Good times. We made it to the Art Museum and only had to pay $4 for Goofy (the youngest niece). I was hoping that perhaps they would suck up some culture, but I'm not sure it worked. We weren't there thirty minutes and already we got a stern talking to because they touched the art. Goofy touched a piece of art that had burned books, plaster, and metal rods. I was horrified about burnt books, but Goofy wanted to know if they were real, so she touched them. I was trying to stop her, but didn't do it in time. The guard in the room freaked out, but that's because she was already scolding Grumpy and Little Phoenix for touching an exhibit with chalk...Phoenix made fun of the woman by saying, "Folks! Folks! Folks! Folks stop that. Folks!" The woman kept saying folks and then once Phoenix started this, the woman followed us until we were under someone else's guard...Whatever. I'm not sure I got most of the art at that museum. They had some surreal art, which I normally love, but this stuff sucked. Give me Dali and Magritte any day. The stuff was weird, like graffiti and one that particularly stood out was three blue boxes put together and called something like, "Blue box in three pieces"....Umm, okay. It was just weird. I was excited though to see a Claude Monet painting. I love his work. We missed some of the stuff because we sort of hurried through because the kids got restless (And by kids I mean Phoenix...Shh, don't tell her I said that.). Apparently, children aren't art lovers...
The one moment at the museum that stands out in my mind is riding in the elevator. I know that sounds mundane, but hear me out. It was the only time we road the elevator all day and Little Phoenix was all, "What if we got stuck and started to run out of oxygen...Who would we kill first?" Of course this is the first thing I always think of too when I get in an elevator and then I size up my company to decide who I'd kill first. In this case, her little sister, Goofy, chimed in and said, "Heathers! She has the most meat on her!" Apparently, she wasn't only worried about oxygen, but food too...That's it, let's kill the fat girl! (PS: When Goofy and Little Phoenix's mom met me, she immediately called me, "Heathers", as in the movie...So to the kids, I'm "Heathers".)
After getting lunch at Subway, we were off and running to find houses to look at. Before that though, we had to have a repeat of, "Let's scream in the car." Little Phoenix wanted to scream in the car, but no one wanted to join. Then, out of nowhere, Phoenix turned around and screamed at Little Phoenix, who then screamed because she was scared. It was pretty funny, you know, if you didn't count that everyone, except me and Grumpy, then screamed for a moment or two. Apparently, it's fun to scream while I'm driving. Thankfully, I saw signs for houses soon, and we all had our destination in mind once more. We found large houses not too far from our apartment. The houses started at $400,000 or so. Oh my God. I am in love. These houses rocked! We went in and got a price list, but only after Phoenix filled out their information card with phone number, name, and email address...Lame. We walked through nine of these huge houses. The most expensive was $620,000 and more than 4,000 square feet. Yeah, I'd like to publish a few books so I could afford to live in that type of luxury! All joking aside though, the house Phoenix and I loved the most wasn't the most expensive, but was still high at $530,000. It was cute though as we went to each house, the girls picked out the rooms they wanted, you know, because they're all our kids. In one of the houses, Goofy picked out her room, which was really a rounded sitting room in the master bedroom. In another house, I joked she could live in the closet, which was the size of our living room here at the apartment. Somewhere along the way, Little Phoenix began leading the tours of the houses using a fake accent. If she were a little older, she most likely would've chosen to imitate Robin Leach's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." It was fun to hear a 13-year-old's take on things, like, "Here we have a large kitchen with two ovens, an island, and a microwave." If it had been me leading the tours, I would've been like, "And here we are wasting space with this weird shaped island/bar to eat at. Plus, we're going to make you work hard because we put the laundry room downstairs. Hope you like running up and downstairs with laundry! Oh, you have a baby? Well, you don't mind that the master bedroom is downstairs and the nursery is upstairs, right?" Who designs these houses, fitness trainers!? I don't need that much exercise each day!!
By the time we were done, I wasn't sure I'd make it up the stairs at home. I was so tired...However, Grumpy was more tired than I was; she took a nap as soon as we got back. The rest of us played Sing Star for a little over an hour. The girls dedicated Hate Me to me. It was sang as, "Hate Her". Nice...Phoenix told me this is how I know the girls love me...Perhaps she didn't hear the title of the song, "HATE me". *rolls eyes* Oh well. We finished off the night by returning the girls to their own homes and then went grocery shopping...Bah!
Well, that's it for this blog. I will write again later about how we spent yesterday evening playing racquetball with Goofy and Little Phoenix...I woke up sore from all the walking on Sunday and the stairs, but then we still went to play...Surprisingly enough, I was still able to roll out of bed this morning...And by "roll", I mean, literally roll out of bed. Haha. Just kidding...Kind of. So, until next time, here's the video of our adventure...I'm sorry I didn't get any pics of the houses...Next time I will try to remember to grab the camera.
After we all made ourselves pretty and ate breakfast, we took off on our adventure. We started by picking up Phoenix's new glasses. She was feeling brave and got slightly thicker frames than her old ones. I love them! Then we took off to look at some houses. We found a row of model homes, but the houses were pretty crappy...Small rooms, crappy layouts, and just not that exciting. (I know it sounds lame, but it's cool to go look at houses...Plus, they're all decorated and you can get great decorating tips. It's like HGTV without the commercials!) So, we came up with a story about how all three girls were our kids and that Grumpy has a little one on the way, so we need a big house. The houses we saw were all like 3 bedroom...Not too cool. When we walked back through the office, the woman working there stopped us. We said we needed bigger houses. Her response was, "Well, the loft can be a room. Or the den can be a bedroom." The dens were SMALL! We said, "Actually, we like the loft look and the dens were small." Her response was a rude, "You want at least four rooms with a loft and a den!?" Duh! We have three kids, plus us, and a little one on the way!! C'mon! She suggested some other houses up the road...a ways up the road. We went there. They only had one model house. It was cool, but small. It had a Cosita (spelling?) though which was awesome. Nothing like a guest room outside of the house for the in-laws/family, right? Er, um, I mean, I would never put family out of the house...*shifty eyes*
We took off to the library to get in line for our culture passes. We decided to take whatever passes we could get a hold of. Along the way, I told Phoenix that I hoped the creepy guy from last weekend wasn't there again. We decided to have me drop them off and then I'd go park, plus then I'd have the option to stay in the car is my biggest fan was there. I dropped them off and then parked. As I walked to join them, Phoenix called to say, "Grab the camera! He's here!" BAH! I got the camera, but she never got a shot of him. Luckily, Grumpy got one with her phone and you can clearly read his, "BBW Lust Only" tat. Yeah, as I walked up, he saw me and his whole face lit up. I was avoiding eye contact though and pretended not to notice him staring at me and trying to catch my eye. When I eventually looked at him, he nodded his head at me in a greeting. I simply smiled and looked away. After listening to all the girls make jokes, we finally got our pass to the Art Museum. Trust me when I say that there is nothing quite like having your girlfriend and her nieces ranging in ages from 18-8 razz you for some dorky guy hitting on you. It's not my fault that he finds my beauty alluring and cannot resist my award-winning smile! *grins* Inside the library, Mr. I Love Big Girls tried to talk to me. I smiled and walked right past him. I'm not sure how to make it more clear that I'm not interested...However, Phoenix and her nieces have decided that all of us will be going back each Sunday to see if he's there waiting to talk to me. Ummm, yeah, I'm not going. Phoenix is threatening to tell him, "Oh good you're here! My friend was hoping to see you so she can give you her number!" I think I'm going to pass him a note next time I see him that will read, "I like big girls too..." Think he'll take the hint?
After narrowly escaping my stalker, we moved on to the art museum. We played the iPod game, which allows for everyone to take a turn picking a song. We started playing the game when we left the apartment in the morning. Anyway, it's fun to listen to everyone's choices...It's like hip-hop one minute, then alternative, then 80s music, then musical songs, etc...Good times. We made it to the Art Museum and only had to pay $4 for Goofy (the youngest niece). I was hoping that perhaps they would suck up some culture, but I'm not sure it worked. We weren't there thirty minutes and already we got a stern talking to because they touched the art. Goofy touched a piece of art that had burned books, plaster, and metal rods. I was horrified about burnt books, but Goofy wanted to know if they were real, so she touched them. I was trying to stop her, but didn't do it in time. The guard in the room freaked out, but that's because she was already scolding Grumpy and Little Phoenix for touching an exhibit with chalk...Phoenix made fun of the woman by saying, "Folks! Folks! Folks! Folks stop that. Folks!" The woman kept saying folks and then once Phoenix started this, the woman followed us until we were under someone else's guard...Whatever. I'm not sure I got most of the art at that museum. They had some surreal art, which I normally love, but this stuff sucked. Give me Dali and Magritte any day. The stuff was weird, like graffiti and one that particularly stood out was three blue boxes put together and called something like, "Blue box in three pieces"....Umm, okay. It was just weird. I was excited though to see a Claude Monet painting. I love his work. We missed some of the stuff because we sort of hurried through because the kids got restless (And by kids I mean Phoenix...Shh, don't tell her I said that.). Apparently, children aren't art lovers...
The one moment at the museum that stands out in my mind is riding in the elevator. I know that sounds mundane, but hear me out. It was the only time we road the elevator all day and Little Phoenix was all, "What if we got stuck and started to run out of oxygen...Who would we kill first?" Of course this is the first thing I always think of too when I get in an elevator and then I size up my company to decide who I'd kill first. In this case, her little sister, Goofy, chimed in and said, "Heathers! She has the most meat on her!" Apparently, she wasn't only worried about oxygen, but food too...That's it, let's kill the fat girl! (PS: When Goofy and Little Phoenix's mom met me, she immediately called me, "Heathers", as in the movie...So to the kids, I'm "Heathers".)
After getting lunch at Subway, we were off and running to find houses to look at. Before that though, we had to have a repeat of, "Let's scream in the car." Little Phoenix wanted to scream in the car, but no one wanted to join. Then, out of nowhere, Phoenix turned around and screamed at Little Phoenix, who then screamed because she was scared. It was pretty funny, you know, if you didn't count that everyone, except me and Grumpy, then screamed for a moment or two. Apparently, it's fun to scream while I'm driving. Thankfully, I saw signs for houses soon, and we all had our destination in mind once more. We found large houses not too far from our apartment. The houses started at $400,000 or so. Oh my God. I am in love. These houses rocked! We went in and got a price list, but only after Phoenix filled out their information card with phone number, name, and email address...Lame. We walked through nine of these huge houses. The most expensive was $620,000 and more than 4,000 square feet. Yeah, I'd like to publish a few books so I could afford to live in that type of luxury! All joking aside though, the house Phoenix and I loved the most wasn't the most expensive, but was still high at $530,000. It was cute though as we went to each house, the girls picked out the rooms they wanted, you know, because they're all our kids. In one of the houses, Goofy picked out her room, which was really a rounded sitting room in the master bedroom. In another house, I joked she could live in the closet, which was the size of our living room here at the apartment. Somewhere along the way, Little Phoenix began leading the tours of the houses using a fake accent. If she were a little older, she most likely would've chosen to imitate Robin Leach's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." It was fun to hear a 13-year-old's take on things, like, "Here we have a large kitchen with two ovens, an island, and a microwave." If it had been me leading the tours, I would've been like, "And here we are wasting space with this weird shaped island/bar to eat at. Plus, we're going to make you work hard because we put the laundry room downstairs. Hope you like running up and downstairs with laundry! Oh, you have a baby? Well, you don't mind that the master bedroom is downstairs and the nursery is upstairs, right?" Who designs these houses, fitness trainers!? I don't need that much exercise each day!!
By the time we were done, I wasn't sure I'd make it up the stairs at home. I was so tired...However, Grumpy was more tired than I was; she took a nap as soon as we got back. The rest of us played Sing Star for a little over an hour. The girls dedicated Hate Me to me. It was sang as, "Hate Her". Nice...Phoenix told me this is how I know the girls love me...Perhaps she didn't hear the title of the song, "HATE me". *rolls eyes* Oh well. We finished off the night by returning the girls to their own homes and then went grocery shopping...Bah!
Well, that's it for this blog. I will write again later about how we spent yesterday evening playing racquetball with Goofy and Little Phoenix...I woke up sore from all the walking on Sunday and the stairs, but then we still went to play...Surprisingly enough, I was still able to roll out of bed this morning...And by "roll", I mean, literally roll out of bed. Haha. Just kidding...Kind of. So, until next time, here's the video of our adventure...I'm sorry I didn't get any pics of the houses...Next time I will try to remember to grab the camera.
Friday, September 25, 2009
I'm surrounded by idiots!!
I'm not going to lie--I can't stand idiotic people...I also can't stand general rudeness for no purpose. I mean, if I piss you off and then you're rude to me, I could kind of understand, you know? But doing rude things just for the hell of it is bull----! Anyway, I believe we (the regular folk) are being overthrown by idiots. Allow me to explain...
After my Starbucks interview and going to eat, Phoenix and I went to the Verizon store to have them swap out my phone. It likes to get stuck on stupid when I hang up or when I'm texting. What I mean is that if I hang up, it will stay on the screen showing I'm on the phone until I take the battery out and reset the whole phone. It started doing it sometimes, but now it's pretty often. I had taken my phone in before and the guy said, "Oh, it needs to be updated." I updated it and it still did it. So, I took it back again to a different store. The guy said, "We'll swap it out, but we're out." He then told me of another store that had them, but it was way out of my way, so I dealt with the problem until yesterday. Might I also mention that one of my volume buttons is cracked? Whatever. It still works, but I would love to not have to disassemble my phone each time I hang up or worry about the stupid button.
<>
So, I go into the Verizon store and wait my turn, which took like 15 minutes. Finally, I get Gomer-freakin'-Pile as my guy. Seriously, the guy was a dork and apparently pissed off about something because he was an ass monkey. So, I tell him the problem with the phone and explain that another Verizon store said they'd exchange it, but they were out. He asked which store. I tried to confirm with Phoenix that it was the store in Scottsdale, but apparently, she wanted no part of this conversation because she shrugged at me. Thanks, sweetheart. (I'm still new to the area and don't know where Phoenix ends and these other cities begin...) The guy tells me that there's a new update for the phone that is supposed to fix it. I said, "That's what they told me a couple of months ago. It didn't work!" He said they had to do it there at the store, that it's a new update, and it would take 30 minutes. I was not happy about this, but I complied with Gomer.
I used the time I had to wait to get my drug test done for my job. This took about an hour or so. Then, I dropped Phoenix off at the eye doctor's shop to order a pair of glasses before going back. By the time I got back to the Verizon store, I'd been gone for about an hour and fifteen minutes. I waited in line once more while this woman complained about her phone going haywire. After examining the phone, the Verizon guy, not Gomer Pile, but his pal, Andre the Giant (Seriously, the guy was like 7 feet tall.), finally took off the back of the phone and saw that every tab on the battery and phone was glowing red--Yes, the phone had gotten wet!! It took him ten minutes to figure that out!? I would've looked at that first! The lady then started to sputter, "Whh-wh-what? I never got it wet!" Yeah, lady, save your lies for someone gullible and move out of my way! When I got up there, the guy asked me what kind of phone it I had. I said, "It's a black flip phone. All it says is Verizon on it." He said, "What kind?" I said, "I don't know! It's a black, flip phone, piece of crap!" He looked at me like I was some kind of idiot. Seriously, my phone does not have a model number or name on it anywhere. He goes into the backroom and is gone for a while. When he returns, he says, "Let me see your receipt." I show it to him and then he's gone for a while again. (Mean time, Phoenix is supposed to be getting glasses and calling me to tell me where to pick her up at...) When he comes back this time, he comes out with two men in business suits and says, "It's going to be about another 10 minutes or so..."
I started a new paragraph simply because most of you can imagine what went through my head at that moment. I snapped to say the least. I didn't even care that there were like twenty other people in the store. I was all, "Excuse me? Another ten minutes? The other guy told me thirty minutes and that was over an hour ago! What the hell is the problem?" He replied, as the suits watched from the sidelines, "Well, I can't unplug it now; it'll ruin it." I wanted to tell this guy to go take a long walk off a short cliff, but I refrained and said, "Fine. Ten minutes? It better be ready when I get back..." And as I walked out, I continued to rant and rave by calling them all a bunch of fucking morons and a few other choice things!
I went to go find Phoenix. Luckily, she didn't walk to the Verizon store, which is what she almost did because it took me so long. When I located her though, I insisted that she had to go back in because if I did, I was going to punch Andre the Giant in his face for not being honest and telling me that the big-eared moron, Gomer Pile, didn't plug it in in the first place. She did go get it for me and the guy admitted that it hadn't started loading like it should've. She said, "We told you guys that there's a problem with the phone! Why wouldn't you check it? So, we would've been sitting here waiting for two hours had we stayed in the store?" Andre tried claiming they would've noticed. I'm telling you right now, they wouldn't have noticed!! I don't know who the suits were, but if they were the managers, they were shitty managers! No way in hell would I have stood by and watched a pissed off customer rant and rave in the middle of my store! Idiots!!
All the download apparently did was screw up all my settings...It still gets stuck. God, I'm so glad I wasted two hours of my time waiting for my phone for them to do absolutely nothing for me. *rolls eyes*
Speaking of idiots...This morning, I took Phoenix back to get her glasses because the idiots at the glasses place couldn't place her order last night. We had tried to go get her glasses before, but at the other Eye Masters, they had a woman who could barely speak English working and she was trying to charge Phoenix nearly full-price for her glasses, which should've been covered by insurance. So, last night, they said, "No, you have a pending approval at the other store." They had to have it erased today and put in for this store. It was a big hassle, but whatever, in the end, she's getting free glasses. Those aren't the idiots I want to talk about though...No, it's the idiot in the parking lot. I went down one aisle only to see a parking spot on the next aisle that wasn't in BFE, right? So, I go down the next aisle and I'm like four spaces away when this lady comes up the aisle the wrong way and parks her piece of shi-- little car in my space!! I was already over-tired from not sleeping well for the last two nights and then this lady did this to me? Oh hell no!
I guess Phoenix saw that I was now boiling under the surface because she said, "You cannot do a Madea on her!" Anyone seen Madea Goes to Jail? Go watch it. She moves this lady's car with a forklift...And then drops it. It was great. Madea wasn't what first came to mind--No, I thought of Fried Green Tomatoes when Kathy Bates crashes her car into that girl's VW Bug in the parking lot like ten times. I so wanted to bash that lady's car. Instead, I cursed her and flipped her the bird as I drove by. I also mumbled under my breath about it as we walked inside and I even resisted the urge to go accidentally key her car...(I don't key people's cars. These are simply urges, ideas if you will, that I had. I wouldn't follow through because I'm not that kind of person.) I even refrained from texting her license plate number to a cop I know to see if she had warrants out for her because then I would've left a note saying, "I know what you did last summer!" *grins*
Yeah, so watch out for the idiots...I think they are on the loose right now...I even had a lady at Starbucks offer me jalapenos today when I ordered my coffee. I said, "No, thanks. Jalapenos and coffee don't go together." She said, "Oh! I meant jalapeno--" I don't know what she said...Some kind of sandwich, I would presume. She also put whipped cream on my coffee and then said, "No, you said with whip." What I said was, "I would like a venti no whip mocha frappaccino," but apparently, she heard, "Please give me a venti mocha frap with copious amounts of whipped cream." Seriously guys...Watch out. Just run when you come across an idiot...They might try to recruit you!
After my Starbucks interview and going to eat, Phoenix and I went to the Verizon store to have them swap out my phone. It likes to get stuck on stupid when I hang up or when I'm texting. What I mean is that if I hang up, it will stay on the screen showing I'm on the phone until I take the battery out and reset the whole phone. It started doing it sometimes, but now it's pretty often. I had taken my phone in before and the guy said, "Oh, it needs to be updated." I updated it and it still did it. So, I took it back again to a different store. The guy said, "We'll swap it out, but we're out." He then told me of another store that had them, but it was way out of my way, so I dealt with the problem until yesterday. Might I also mention that one of my volume buttons is cracked? Whatever. It still works, but I would love to not have to disassemble my phone each time I hang up or worry about the stupid button.
<>
So, I go into the Verizon store and wait my turn, which took like 15 minutes. Finally, I get Gomer-freakin'-Pile as my guy. Seriously, the guy was a dork and apparently pissed off about something because he was an ass monkey. So, I tell him the problem with the phone and explain that another Verizon store said they'd exchange it, but they were out. He asked which store. I tried to confirm with Phoenix that it was the store in Scottsdale, but apparently, she wanted no part of this conversation because she shrugged at me. Thanks, sweetheart. (I'm still new to the area and don't know where Phoenix ends and these other cities begin...) The guy tells me that there's a new update for the phone that is supposed to fix it. I said, "That's what they told me a couple of months ago. It didn't work!" He said they had to do it there at the store, that it's a new update, and it would take 30 minutes. I was not happy about this, but I complied with Gomer.
I used the time I had to wait to get my drug test done for my job. This took about an hour or so. Then, I dropped Phoenix off at the eye doctor's shop to order a pair of glasses before going back. By the time I got back to the Verizon store, I'd been gone for about an hour and fifteen minutes. I waited in line once more while this woman complained about her phone going haywire. After examining the phone, the Verizon guy, not Gomer Pile, but his pal, Andre the Giant (Seriously, the guy was like 7 feet tall.), finally took off the back of the phone and saw that every tab on the battery and phone was glowing red--Yes, the phone had gotten wet!! It took him ten minutes to figure that out!? I would've looked at that first! The lady then started to sputter, "Whh-wh-what? I never got it wet!" Yeah, lady, save your lies for someone gullible and move out of my way! When I got up there, the guy asked me what kind of phone it I had. I said, "It's a black flip phone. All it says is Verizon on it." He said, "What kind?" I said, "I don't know! It's a black, flip phone, piece of crap!" He looked at me like I was some kind of idiot. Seriously, my phone does not have a model number or name on it anywhere. He goes into the backroom and is gone for a while. When he returns, he says, "Let me see your receipt." I show it to him and then he's gone for a while again. (Mean time, Phoenix is supposed to be getting glasses and calling me to tell me where to pick her up at...) When he comes back this time, he comes out with two men in business suits and says, "It's going to be about another 10 minutes or so..."
I started a new paragraph simply because most of you can imagine what went through my head at that moment. I snapped to say the least. I didn't even care that there were like twenty other people in the store. I was all, "Excuse me? Another ten minutes? The other guy told me thirty minutes and that was over an hour ago! What the hell is the problem?" He replied, as the suits watched from the sidelines, "Well, I can't unplug it now; it'll ruin it." I wanted to tell this guy to go take a long walk off a short cliff, but I refrained and said, "Fine. Ten minutes? It better be ready when I get back..." And as I walked out, I continued to rant and rave by calling them all a bunch of fucking morons and a few other choice things!
I went to go find Phoenix. Luckily, she didn't walk to the Verizon store, which is what she almost did because it took me so long. When I located her though, I insisted that she had to go back in because if I did, I was going to punch Andre the Giant in his face for not being honest and telling me that the big-eared moron, Gomer Pile, didn't plug it in in the first place. She did go get it for me and the guy admitted that it hadn't started loading like it should've. She said, "We told you guys that there's a problem with the phone! Why wouldn't you check it? So, we would've been sitting here waiting for two hours had we stayed in the store?" Andre tried claiming they would've noticed. I'm telling you right now, they wouldn't have noticed!! I don't know who the suits were, but if they were the managers, they were shitty managers! No way in hell would I have stood by and watched a pissed off customer rant and rave in the middle of my store! Idiots!!
All the download apparently did was screw up all my settings...It still gets stuck. God, I'm so glad I wasted two hours of my time waiting for my phone for them to do absolutely nothing for me. *rolls eyes*
Speaking of idiots...This morning, I took Phoenix back to get her glasses because the idiots at the glasses place couldn't place her order last night. We had tried to go get her glasses before, but at the other Eye Masters, they had a woman who could barely speak English working and she was trying to charge Phoenix nearly full-price for her glasses, which should've been covered by insurance. So, last night, they said, "No, you have a pending approval at the other store." They had to have it erased today and put in for this store. It was a big hassle, but whatever, in the end, she's getting free glasses. Those aren't the idiots I want to talk about though...No, it's the idiot in the parking lot. I went down one aisle only to see a parking spot on the next aisle that wasn't in BFE, right? So, I go down the next aisle and I'm like four spaces away when this lady comes up the aisle the wrong way and parks her piece of shi-- little car in my space!! I was already over-tired from not sleeping well for the last two nights and then this lady did this to me? Oh hell no!
I guess Phoenix saw that I was now boiling under the surface because she said, "You cannot do a Madea on her!" Anyone seen Madea Goes to Jail? Go watch it. She moves this lady's car with a forklift...And then drops it. It was great. Madea wasn't what first came to mind--No, I thought of Fried Green Tomatoes when Kathy Bates crashes her car into that girl's VW Bug in the parking lot like ten times. I so wanted to bash that lady's car. Instead, I cursed her and flipped her the bird as I drove by. I also mumbled under my breath about it as we walked inside and I even resisted the urge to go accidentally key her car...(I don't key people's cars. These are simply urges, ideas if you will, that I had. I wouldn't follow through because I'm not that kind of person.) I even refrained from texting her license plate number to a cop I know to see if she had warrants out for her because then I would've left a note saying, "I know what you did last summer!" *grins*
Yeah, so watch out for the idiots...I think they are on the loose right now...I even had a lady at Starbucks offer me jalapenos today when I ordered my coffee. I said, "No, thanks. Jalapenos and coffee don't go together." She said, "Oh! I meant jalapeno--" I don't know what she said...Some kind of sandwich, I would presume. She also put whipped cream on my coffee and then said, "No, you said with whip." What I said was, "I would like a venti no whip mocha frappaccino," but apparently, she heard, "Please give me a venti mocha frap with copious amounts of whipped cream." Seriously guys...Watch out. Just run when you come across an idiot...They might try to recruit you!
I finally got a job!!
After nine months or so of looking for work, I actually found a part-time job that's not seasonal! WOO HOO!! I will start by next Wednesday or so. I believe they are waiting on the results of my drug test, which I should pass since I don't make it a habit of ingesting any drugs...Yeah, so the job is at Walmart Neighborhood Market and I shall be found in the deli on most afternoons and evenings. Let me tell you that I am already looking forward to the burns I'm sure I'll endure from deep-frying chicken and the cuts I'll get from the meat cutter...I can already foresee my clumsy ass waiting in the emergency room for stitches...
On the bright side of things, they are paying me way more than I thought they would (They're going to pay me more than Pizza Hut did!). I always hear how little Walmart employees make, which may be true, but perhaps that doesn't happen at their Neighborhood Markets. Eh, it doesn't matter. All I know is that they counted my years of food experience and gave me a 4/5 on experience, which qualified me for the higher wage. I'm cool with that. I'm also cool with the 10% discount I'll receive when shopping at Walmart or Walmart Neighborhood Market. In fact, some people I know are already asking when I will get this so they can start shopping...Well, at least my crappy job is good for something...Another plus is that now perhaps people will stop making stupid comments about my not working and basically insinuating that I wasn't looking. Apparently, I was looking afterall since Walmart doesn't typically go door-to-door to find employees. I'm just sayin'...
Even though I got the job, I went to the interview at Starbucks. This is more like a franchise of Starbucks and not the real thing because it's licensed to a company that runs the food service stuff at over 140 airports world wide. Anyway, it was a usual interview with questions asking what I would do in specific situations. I think that it went pretty good. Before going to the interiew, Phoenix and I discussed working there because it's about a 30 minute commute and Walmart is around the corner, so gas would cost more to work there. We decided that they would have to offer damn good money for me to take the position. At the end of the interview, I asked them what they pay the assistant managers there and honestly, I was expecting an hourly wage. The one guy (I had two guys in there tag-teaming me with questions.) said, "I can't remember an exact number, but it's somewhere between $32,000 and $46,000 depending on experience." Yup, I'd take that job if they offered it to me...
I'm just happy that I have a job and now I can keep looking for something I'd prefer to have. Also, now I don't have to feel guilty about writing. I was having such issues writing since it doesn't pay the bills, you know? Speaking of writing, I sent off my manuscript to two publishers today...They're both gay publishers, so the likelihood of their publishing my gay story (gay as in homosexual, not as in stupid) is greatly increased...Here's to hoping! I guess that's it for this bloggy blog...I have more to discuss, but that gets its own blog...
On the bright side of things, they are paying me way more than I thought they would (They're going to pay me more than Pizza Hut did!). I always hear how little Walmart employees make, which may be true, but perhaps that doesn't happen at their Neighborhood Markets. Eh, it doesn't matter. All I know is that they counted my years of food experience and gave me a 4/5 on experience, which qualified me for the higher wage. I'm cool with that. I'm also cool with the 10% discount I'll receive when shopping at Walmart or Walmart Neighborhood Market. In fact, some people I know are already asking when I will get this so they can start shopping...Well, at least my crappy job is good for something...Another plus is that now perhaps people will stop making stupid comments about my not working and basically insinuating that I wasn't looking. Apparently, I was looking afterall since Walmart doesn't typically go door-to-door to find employees. I'm just sayin'...
Even though I got the job, I went to the interview at Starbucks. This is more like a franchise of Starbucks and not the real thing because it's licensed to a company that runs the food service stuff at over 140 airports world wide. Anyway, it was a usual interview with questions asking what I would do in specific situations. I think that it went pretty good. Before going to the interiew, Phoenix and I discussed working there because it's about a 30 minute commute and Walmart is around the corner, so gas would cost more to work there. We decided that they would have to offer damn good money for me to take the position. At the end of the interview, I asked them what they pay the assistant managers there and honestly, I was expecting an hourly wage. The one guy (I had two guys in there tag-teaming me with questions.) said, "I can't remember an exact number, but it's somewhere between $32,000 and $46,000 depending on experience." Yup, I'd take that job if they offered it to me...
I'm just happy that I have a job and now I can keep looking for something I'd prefer to have. Also, now I don't have to feel guilty about writing. I was having such issues writing since it doesn't pay the bills, you know? Speaking of writing, I sent off my manuscript to two publishers today...They're both gay publishers, so the likelihood of their publishing my gay story (gay as in homosexual, not as in stupid) is greatly increased...Here's to hoping! I guess that's it for this bloggy blog...I have more to discuss, but that gets its own blog...
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Oooohhh...Starbucks!
(Sorry to those of you who read this on my other blog...I logged into the wrong one earlier and posted it. My bad.)
I got a phone call this morning from a number I didn't recognize and I found myself hoping that it was Walmart calling to hire me. That would've been nice, huh? But no, it was a girl from Starbucks. I have an interview tomorrow at Starbucks at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. Of course, it can't be a regular Starbucks, but whatever...They're hiring for an assistant manager, which would be cool. I'm down with that. I wouldn't look forward to driving so far from home (It's like a thirty minute drive.), but it might be better money than Walmart, if I even got that job or get this one for that matter...Seriously though...Starbucks! It'd be nice for them to pay me for a change because God knows I've paid them enough over the years!!
After setting up my interview, I called around to mobile mechanics in the area to see how much it would cost to get a guy to come here and look at my car to tell me what's wrong with it. Apparently, it'd cost, at the minimum, $45 for the cheapest guy to come out. Mostly, I was quoted right around $75. Plus, they charge anywhere from $25-$60 an hour, except one guy who said $75 an hour. And out of everyone, only one guy said that they put the $75 towards repairs if I decided to have him fix it. I get it...They're a mobile service, so I'm paying for them to come to me, but seriously, that's a bit pricey. Had they said, "I can come out for twenty bucks..." then I would've taken it because I don't know what the problem is on my car!! After getting frustrated with that, I looked my car up online to see where the starter is located on it because maybe I can get it off to get it tested. Apparently, I cannot search Google for a "piece of shit Buick" and find my car...Can't blame a girl for trying, right?
So, yeah. I went downstairs and looked at my car. Something is now draining the battery, which is not something that makes me happy. I went over the connections and tried starting it again, but nothing. I stood in front of my car for a while with a hammer in my hand pondering the outcome if I took the hammer to it...I opted not to hammer anything though because a rather large group of Chinese men were walking by on their way to pilot school...And they all looked at me in their judgmental Chinese way from behind their pilot's glasses...I was tempted to say something to them in German (I assume they understand some English.), but I wasn't sure that they might not know a little German since other cultures encourage the learning of multiple languages...I didn't want to bust out with some lousy German, calling them fat cows or something, only to find the one Chinese guy who speaks German as a second or third language, which would be my luck. (I was considering mowing down a group of these guys the other day as I tried to turn into the apartment complex...Obviously, in China, it must be acceptable to walk in front of cars in the middle of the road whilst pushing shopping carts filled with water, Gatorade, and bags of rice...I didn't want to be someones bitch in jail though, so I drove around them.)
I turned my stuff in for examiner.com. I will find out shortly what the next step is. I think that once I start that, I will probably lose the second blog, which is why I haven't been doing much on that one. Also, I have put together my bio and cover letters to send in with my manuscript. I found two publishers I am going to try to go through first. The one, Alyson Books, is big. If you go to the Barnes and Noble's gay section, they are the number one publisher there. I'm aiming high here. I have also outlined the sequel to the novel I wrote, which sucks...Last night I was driving to Phoenix's work when out of nowhere I got this picture in my head of how the second book should go and it's not really close to what I've been writing, which means I'll probably be scrapping the 65 or so pages I already wrote...Eh, at least it's not handwritten, huh? I think this new idea is better than what I had already though. We'll see how that goes.
That's it for me. Be looking for my blog tomorrow where I'll tell you how I once more claimed my education was for naught and that I will be happy to serve coffee to the public. Should make for good times!! Not to mention that it's a rare day that I find my way into and out of Phoenix Sky Harbor without a problem...And a big thanks to those of you who have shared my blogs with others. It is much appreciated!
I got a phone call this morning from a number I didn't recognize and I found myself hoping that it was Walmart calling to hire me. That would've been nice, huh? But no, it was a girl from Starbucks. I have an interview tomorrow at Starbucks at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. Of course, it can't be a regular Starbucks, but whatever...They're hiring for an assistant manager, which would be cool. I'm down with that. I wouldn't look forward to driving so far from home (It's like a thirty minute drive.), but it might be better money than Walmart, if I even got that job or get this one for that matter...Seriously though...Starbucks! It'd be nice for them to pay me for a change because God knows I've paid them enough over the years!!
After setting up my interview, I called around to mobile mechanics in the area to see how much it would cost to get a guy to come here and look at my car to tell me what's wrong with it. Apparently, it'd cost, at the minimum, $45 for the cheapest guy to come out. Mostly, I was quoted right around $75. Plus, they charge anywhere from $25-$60 an hour, except one guy who said $75 an hour. And out of everyone, only one guy said that they put the $75 towards repairs if I decided to have him fix it. I get it...They're a mobile service, so I'm paying for them to come to me, but seriously, that's a bit pricey. Had they said, "I can come out for twenty bucks..." then I would've taken it because I don't know what the problem is on my car!! After getting frustrated with that, I looked my car up online to see where the starter is located on it because maybe I can get it off to get it tested. Apparently, I cannot search Google for a "piece of shit Buick" and find my car...Can't blame a girl for trying, right?
So, yeah. I went downstairs and looked at my car. Something is now draining the battery, which is not something that makes me happy. I went over the connections and tried starting it again, but nothing. I stood in front of my car for a while with a hammer in my hand pondering the outcome if I took the hammer to it...I opted not to hammer anything though because a rather large group of Chinese men were walking by on their way to pilot school...And they all looked at me in their judgmental Chinese way from behind their pilot's glasses...I was tempted to say something to them in German (I assume they understand some English.), but I wasn't sure that they might not know a little German since other cultures encourage the learning of multiple languages...I didn't want to bust out with some lousy German, calling them fat cows or something, only to find the one Chinese guy who speaks German as a second or third language, which would be my luck. (I was considering mowing down a group of these guys the other day as I tried to turn into the apartment complex...Obviously, in China, it must be acceptable to walk in front of cars in the middle of the road whilst pushing shopping carts filled with water, Gatorade, and bags of rice...I didn't want to be someones bitch in jail though, so I drove around them.)
I turned my stuff in for examiner.com. I will find out shortly what the next step is. I think that once I start that, I will probably lose the second blog, which is why I haven't been doing much on that one. Also, I have put together my bio and cover letters to send in with my manuscript. I found two publishers I am going to try to go through first. The one, Alyson Books, is big. If you go to the Barnes and Noble's gay section, they are the number one publisher there. I'm aiming high here. I have also outlined the sequel to the novel I wrote, which sucks...Last night I was driving to Phoenix's work when out of nowhere I got this picture in my head of how the second book should go and it's not really close to what I've been writing, which means I'll probably be scrapping the 65 or so pages I already wrote...Eh, at least it's not handwritten, huh? I think this new idea is better than what I had already though. We'll see how that goes.
That's it for me. Be looking for my blog tomorrow where I'll tell you how I once more claimed my education was for naught and that I will be happy to serve coffee to the public. Should make for good times!! Not to mention that it's a rare day that I find my way into and out of Phoenix Sky Harbor without a problem...And a big thanks to those of you who have shared my blogs with others. It is much appreciated!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
As a side note...
If you will take a moment to look to the left of this blog, you will see that I have added something new. It's a "share" button. I would love you long time if you shared this with your friends on Facebook, twitter, stumbleupon, etc...Seriously. If you laugh at all, at any of my blogs, please pass this along. I plan to be a very famous author one day and then, if you helped by advertising my blogs, you can say, "I helped advertise her blogs when she was simply an angry lesbian living in an apartment in Phoenix...Now look at her! She's an angry lesbian living in a large house in Phoenix with a car that runs and published books!"
Now, on the flip side, when I become famous and you didn't help, I'll remember and the only way you'll attend my lavish parties is as the help! BWahahaha!! Just kidding...kinda.
Basically, just help a girl out, please. Your support is greatly appreciated. Plus, how could you say no to this face?
Now, on the flip side, when I become famous and you didn't help, I'll remember and the only way you'll attend my lavish parties is as the help! BWahahaha!! Just kidding...kinda.
Basically, just help a girl out, please. Your support is greatly appreciated. Plus, how could you say no to this face?
And the hunt continues...With spears!
Okay fine...I'm not job hunting with a spear, but perhaps that would be easier than the process I've been going through! Last week I went to the Walmart website and filled out their application for employment. Allow me to say that I take great displeasure in answering ridiculous questions like, "If you saw an employee stealing, what would you do?" And then the four answers do not include, "Tell the idiot to split it with you or else you'll rat him out." I'm not saying I'd do that...But I want that option...Seriously though, yes, if I saw someone stealing, I would tell. WTF? Or how about answering the questions with, strongly disagree, disagree, neutral, agree, or strongly agree for things like, "I'm a people person." I want the option to answer with, "Are you on crack? I hate people!!" Perhaps that's the "strongly disagree" answer, huh? Oh well. Apparently, I answered all the questions the way they wanted (Yes, you read that right...Not with my real answers, but with what they want...) because I got a call on Friday for an interview at a Walmart Neighborhood Market around the corner from my house. (Okay, fine, you got me--it's two miles or so away.) I went for the interview yesterday...Bah!
Please, let me tell you all about how I argued that my BA in English means absolutely nothing to me. And how I don't plan on going into teaching any time soon because they're cutting back on teachers so badly. And how my entire education means nothing. And wouldn't they like to hear about my expertise in the food industry as both crew and management? Would you like to know that I did all of this with a smile on my face and did it so convincingly that it scared me? I'm not even kidding here. I have never in my life tried so hard to convince people that I'm a moron, but that's pretty much what I did and I did it well.
The first guy who interviewed me was in charge of the deli and the meat cases. Let's call him, "Phil" as in Philippines, which is where he was from. As soon as I mentioned my BA, he was all, "Oh, so you're looking for teaching positions?" I then explained how bad education is right now and he agreed. Then he looked at my stuff and saw my management experience, which was then again frowned on. Excuse me for being a born leader and not a follower, idiot. Again, I convinced him that I don't mind working my way up or simply being a worker because I need a job. Somehow, I made it through to talk to his boss. She came in and asked me questions. When we got to the part about my education, again, she was frowning on my degree. Once more, I explained how bad education is. She agreed with me and explained that her daughter had trouble with reading comprehension, but her school couldn't help, so she pulled her daughter out of school and put her in a charter school that cost her $10,000 a year. Apparently, it helped. I wanted to be all, "Um, you could've gotten a tutor for cheaper" but I said nothing. After pleading my case, basically insinuating that I would be happy to work for a company where I could excel and move up so that I would never have to hunt for work again and never be a teacher, she went on with her interview. At the end, she brought in the store manager. He asked me a few questions, rapid-fire style, and then said, "What's my name again?" I shot right back all the answers, including his name (It's easy considering that my boss at Burger King and my boss at Pizza Hut had the same name as him...). He said, "Good!" Apparently, I passed his "idiot test". By the by, the jobs they are hiring for are in the deli and bakery...I'm hoping for the bakery because then I'd work early mornings, so Phoenix and I could share the car and so then I could befriend the cake decorators!! I'll show you Ace of Cakes!! Bwahahahahaha--er, um...moving on...
I was the first interview and there were more after me yesterday and more today...I'll know by Thursday if I got the job. What pissed me off is that I told the first guy that I could work any days and any time, but said that I had a couple of trips to California planned, so I would have to have those days off, but other than that, anything is fine. He was all, "Ohhh...So, you'll be calling in a lot?" Umm...Did I say anything at all about calling in, you freakin' moron? NO! I calmly replied, "No, I know the dates in advance...I would just need those days off." He looked at me like he didn't comprehend. He then said to tell his boss and she'd be able to figure out if I was worth hiring. I didn't say crap to her about it. I'll ask for those days off if I get the job. It sucks though because I need the work and I would have to cancel my trips to Cali if need be because I need the money more than I need to see my family and friends...I know--Some of you are offended, but it's just too bad...You don't pay me to see you!
On the plus side of things, I did get a sort of job. I was accepted to write for examiner.com. I don't know how to explain the website, but it's sort of like locals writing about things in their area. For instance, I chose to apply for the relationships-lesbian examiner. My job is to write about relationship-type things with a local flair and not in a blog way. Now I just need to start finding relationship-type things to write about...LOL I'm sure I'll do fine. I won't make anything off it really since they pay by the thousand views...Yes, I'd have to have thousands of views to get any money, but it's still something to add to my resume. We'll see how that goes...
That's it for me. I'm at Barnes and Noble. I came to research publishers. I found a few names and now have addresses to send my stuff into. It sucks I lost the writing contest, but if I could find someone to see the genius that is my writing, I'll go further than with some dumb contest...Right? Right!? Why do I hear crickets!?
Please, let me tell you all about how I argued that my BA in English means absolutely nothing to me. And how I don't plan on going into teaching any time soon because they're cutting back on teachers so badly. And how my entire education means nothing. And wouldn't they like to hear about my expertise in the food industry as both crew and management? Would you like to know that I did all of this with a smile on my face and did it so convincingly that it scared me? I'm not even kidding here. I have never in my life tried so hard to convince people that I'm a moron, but that's pretty much what I did and I did it well.
The first guy who interviewed me was in charge of the deli and the meat cases. Let's call him, "Phil" as in Philippines, which is where he was from. As soon as I mentioned my BA, he was all, "Oh, so you're looking for teaching positions?" I then explained how bad education is right now and he agreed. Then he looked at my stuff and saw my management experience, which was then again frowned on. Excuse me for being a born leader and not a follower, idiot. Again, I convinced him that I don't mind working my way up or simply being a worker because I need a job. Somehow, I made it through to talk to his boss. She came in and asked me questions. When we got to the part about my education, again, she was frowning on my degree. Once more, I explained how bad education is. She agreed with me and explained that her daughter had trouble with reading comprehension, but her school couldn't help, so she pulled her daughter out of school and put her in a charter school that cost her $10,000 a year. Apparently, it helped. I wanted to be all, "Um, you could've gotten a tutor for cheaper" but I said nothing. After pleading my case, basically insinuating that I would be happy to work for a company where I could excel and move up so that I would never have to hunt for work again and never be a teacher, she went on with her interview. At the end, she brought in the store manager. He asked me a few questions, rapid-fire style, and then said, "What's my name again?" I shot right back all the answers, including his name (It's easy considering that my boss at Burger King and my boss at Pizza Hut had the same name as him...). He said, "Good!" Apparently, I passed his "idiot test". By the by, the jobs they are hiring for are in the deli and bakery...I'm hoping for the bakery because then I'd work early mornings, so Phoenix and I could share the car and so then I could befriend the cake decorators!! I'll show you Ace of Cakes!! Bwahahahahaha--er, um...moving on...
I was the first interview and there were more after me yesterday and more today...I'll know by Thursday if I got the job. What pissed me off is that I told the first guy that I could work any days and any time, but said that I had a couple of trips to California planned, so I would have to have those days off, but other than that, anything is fine. He was all, "Ohhh...So, you'll be calling in a lot?" Umm...Did I say anything at all about calling in, you freakin' moron? NO! I calmly replied, "No, I know the dates in advance...I would just need those days off." He looked at me like he didn't comprehend. He then said to tell his boss and she'd be able to figure out if I was worth hiring. I didn't say crap to her about it. I'll ask for those days off if I get the job. It sucks though because I need the work and I would have to cancel my trips to Cali if need be because I need the money more than I need to see my family and friends...I know--Some of you are offended, but it's just too bad...You don't pay me to see you!
On the plus side of things, I did get a sort of job. I was accepted to write for examiner.com. I don't know how to explain the website, but it's sort of like locals writing about things in their area. For instance, I chose to apply for the relationships-lesbian examiner. My job is to write about relationship-type things with a local flair and not in a blog way. Now I just need to start finding relationship-type things to write about...LOL I'm sure I'll do fine. I won't make anything off it really since they pay by the thousand views...Yes, I'd have to have thousands of views to get any money, but it's still something to add to my resume. We'll see how that goes...
That's it for me. I'm at Barnes and Noble. I came to research publishers. I found a few names and now have addresses to send my stuff into. It sucks I lost the writing contest, but if I could find someone to see the genius that is my writing, I'll go further than with some dumb contest...Right? Right!? Why do I hear crickets!?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Cheap Adventures...
Yesterday, Phoenix and I decided to take an "adventure"...Well, I decided it should be an adventure, but yeah...We got up, got ready, and left without an idea of what to do. We started off driving around. Soon, we ended up in Scottsdale (An up-scale area), still, without a plan. After driving around for awhile, we decided to look at houses. We came up with a story about who we were including new careers so that we could afford these expensive houses. Supposedly, we were looking to move there because we sold my bakery in California where I made personalized cakes and the normal bakery things. (Hey, it's my fake life...Let it go.) We didn't end up at any open houses. Instead, we grabbed some fliers advertising some of the houses. In all honesty, the houses there are totally overpriced. It was just ridiculous. Like you end up paying extra just because you buy in Scottsdale.
As we drove around though, we ended up by one of the libraries, so we decided to stop off to check out a book on getting published and to see if they had any passes for the Arizona Science Center. We were there an hour before it opened, so we walked around the mall, which was across the parking lot. At almost one, we went back and got in line for the Culture Passes (those are the passes they hand out to various museums and such here). I was third in line behind a girl with missing teeth and a guy with a tattoo that read, "BBW Lust Only". As we waited the last five minutes for them to open, these two made small talk with me. Phoenix was involved in the conversation from her seat on the park bench next to me, but she'll deny it. So, the dork with the BBW tat also had a tat on his fingers that read, "Ozzy" and other random tattoos. He reminded me of one of those guys who still lives at home with mommy even though he's like 30, spends his days playing video games, and is secretly a serial killer because his mom babies him too much...Hey, I'm just trying to describe him. As we talked, he asked me stupid questions like what my tattoo is, where I got it, etc...Apparently, I was flirting by simply answering his stupid questions. *rolls eyes* I was mentioning that I hadn't been to the Science Center, he said it was cool. I said something like, "That's what I've heard." He then said, "We could go together." WTF!? I was all, "Umm, we're going together" and pointed to Phoenix. He was all, "Oh, okay." Still though, as we walked through the library and he waited in line to check out his pass to whatever museum he was going to, he was watching me or so Phoenix told me. Seriously, it was sickening. He wasn't even good-looking!! It's not flattering to have a big freakin' dork hit on you...especially right in front of your girlfriend...Yeah, she's still laughing about it.
After that adventure, we went to the Science Center. Parking was difficult. There was a parking place across the street, but apparently, they didn't give discounts for the Science Center. So, the guy was all, "Just go up that way, around the sign, and then back out. The place you need is behind the Science Center." The way he told me to go led to a dead end. Phoenix had to get out and move cones so we could get out. Good times, let me tell you. I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say that the Science Center rocked, but it was pretty cool, especially since it was free. There was interesting stuff there, but some of the exhibits were broken. (A lot of it was hands-on stuff.) There were a few things I would've checked out, but they didn't work, like the Milgram Experiment. Sounded cool, but all I could do was read a blurb about it. Still, we had a good time. I made a movie, put to the music of Angels and Airwaves called The Adventure.
When we left, we cruised the area and looked at houses for sale there too. (Downtown Phoenix is also incredibly expensive...) We saw two open houses, but the houses weren't even worth getting out of the car for. As I pulled off the street, I drove a little way before seeing a man who was making a weird "turn-around" signal to me. I was like, "What's his problem!?" And a second later, there was a man driving on the wrong side of the road...Or so I thought...Apparently I was on a one-way street...And you've got it--going the wrong way. Damn it!
That's about it. The entire day cost $1 for parking (If we'd parked at the other place, it would've been $12.) and $1.18 for a soda. Plus a little for gas, but we only used like an eighth of a tank...Still, a cheap date that was exciting...Here's the movie.
As we drove around though, we ended up by one of the libraries, so we decided to stop off to check out a book on getting published and to see if they had any passes for the Arizona Science Center. We were there an hour before it opened, so we walked around the mall, which was across the parking lot. At almost one, we went back and got in line for the Culture Passes (those are the passes they hand out to various museums and such here). I was third in line behind a girl with missing teeth and a guy with a tattoo that read, "BBW Lust Only". As we waited the last five minutes for them to open, these two made small talk with me. Phoenix was involved in the conversation from her seat on the park bench next to me, but she'll deny it. So, the dork with the BBW tat also had a tat on his fingers that read, "Ozzy" and other random tattoos. He reminded me of one of those guys who still lives at home with mommy even though he's like 30, spends his days playing video games, and is secretly a serial killer because his mom babies him too much...Hey, I'm just trying to describe him. As we talked, he asked me stupid questions like what my tattoo is, where I got it, etc...Apparently, I was flirting by simply answering his stupid questions. *rolls eyes* I was mentioning that I hadn't been to the Science Center, he said it was cool. I said something like, "That's what I've heard." He then said, "We could go together." WTF!? I was all, "Umm, we're going together" and pointed to Phoenix. He was all, "Oh, okay." Still though, as we walked through the library and he waited in line to check out his pass to whatever museum he was going to, he was watching me or so Phoenix told me. Seriously, it was sickening. He wasn't even good-looking!! It's not flattering to have a big freakin' dork hit on you...especially right in front of your girlfriend...Yeah, she's still laughing about it.
After that adventure, we went to the Science Center. Parking was difficult. There was a parking place across the street, but apparently, they didn't give discounts for the Science Center. So, the guy was all, "Just go up that way, around the sign, and then back out. The place you need is behind the Science Center." The way he told me to go led to a dead end. Phoenix had to get out and move cones so we could get out. Good times, let me tell you. I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say that the Science Center rocked, but it was pretty cool, especially since it was free. There was interesting stuff there, but some of the exhibits were broken. (A lot of it was hands-on stuff.) There were a few things I would've checked out, but they didn't work, like the Milgram Experiment. Sounded cool, but all I could do was read a blurb about it. Still, we had a good time. I made a movie, put to the music of Angels and Airwaves called The Adventure.
When we left, we cruised the area and looked at houses for sale there too. (Downtown Phoenix is also incredibly expensive...) We saw two open houses, but the houses weren't even worth getting out of the car for. As I pulled off the street, I drove a little way before seeing a man who was making a weird "turn-around" signal to me. I was like, "What's his problem!?" And a second later, there was a man driving on the wrong side of the road...Or so I thought...Apparently I was on a one-way street...And you've got it--going the wrong way. Damn it!
That's about it. The entire day cost $1 for parking (If we'd parked at the other place, it would've been $12.) and $1.18 for a soda. Plus a little for gas, but we only used like an eighth of a tank...Still, a cheap date that was exciting...Here's the movie.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
You can call me, "Red"...
I really need to take time each day to blog, but I find myself usually too tired at the end of the day to write...Anyway, so, let's start with some good news...I have a job interview on Monday. It's for Walmart Neighborhood Market or whatever it's called. I'm not jumping for joy anything crazy like that since it's me and I'm not exactly known for jumping for joy or anything else for that matter...Now, if it was an interview on the Ellen Show, I'd probably jump--No, I still wouldn't. I'd be like, "Cool" and then go throw up in the bathroom from nerves. But I digress...At this point in time, any job would be fine with me. I need something to get by on, you know? So, please, cross your fingers...On the plus side, I'm sure that the customers at Walmart's grocery store would provide for great blog material!!
The other night I went to check out Phoenix's niece's blogs...She had heard that I blogged and decided to give it a go, which is awesome! I love reading blogs...Well, I just love reading, but that's not the point. She had posted one a while back, but it was some kind of joke, I think, like boredom meets blogs or something. Again, not the point. So, I read this first official one and it was so cute because she mentioned her Tia's girlfriend, whom she called, "Red". So, from here on out, Phoenix's niece shall be referred to as, "Little Phoenix". (They have the same name in real life, so why not similar nicknames? LOL) Little Phoenix though, said she thinks of me as a "cool person". Phoenix kept telling me that her nieces and nephews like me, but I was just like, "Uh-huh, sure..." I mean, yeah, I play around with them and I think they're a great bunch of kids, but that doesn't mean much, you know? So, I read this blog and it was like a big giant warm fuzzy because she said she thought I was cool and funny. It was so sweet. Now, if I were one of those sappy, lovey-dovey, mushy-gushy girls, I probably would've teared up a bit and been like, "Ahh, she likes me! She really really likes me!" But I'm not, so I smiled and felt a little bit better about the kids liking me...At the very least, Little Phoenix likes me and that's great because she's a kick in the pants. She has found things on youtube.com that I have never heard about...And she knows the entire "The Mysterious Ticking Noise" by heart. Don't know what that is? Well, here...Check it out. I LOVE IT! And if we decide to do our own cover of it, then I get to be Snape! (I want the most air time...)
In other news, we had Family Game Night last night at Phoenix's Dad's house. It was also his birthday, so we had green chile for dinner and then cake. Can I take a moment to say that I should've been Mexican? I LOVE ME SOME MEXICAN FOOD!! Why didn't my mom make me fabulous food like green chile??? Bah! (Oh yeah, my chimichangas the other night ROCKED!) So, after all the eating and such, we got presents from her dad and step mom. They'd gone to Sedona and brought back stuff for the kids, grand kids, and for the significant others. I got a groovy metal bookmark that looks like a Celtic cross. I was excited that they got me anything. It was rather amusing though because her dad picked up a bag of stuff and said, "We got presents for everyone...Here Heather..." And proceeded to pull out a clear plastic bag with a box for an MP3 player (an empty box) and some other stuff. Everyone was stunned, as was I. What ever would I do with an MP3 player box? He then realized he had picked up Grandma Sally's bag of stuff (She had just gotten the MP3 player.). Eventually, he located the presents and passed them out. I was happy with the bookmark, but man, that MP3 player box would've been nice...
As a side note...One should be careful of the things that one is saying...For instance, if you are say, standing there talking to your sisters and explaining about how you were watching Grey's Anatomy on DVD and playing Bejewled Blitz on Facebook and you scored 51,000 points only to have accidentally switched off the wireless internet and lost the score, then you probably shouldn't start off the story with something like, "Last night, we were playing Grey's Anatomy..." Let me just tell you that as I stood by and listened to, "Last night, we were playing Grey's Anatomy..." I was like, "Oh man, here we go..." Sure enough, Phoenix's sister jumped at this and was like, "Oh yeah!?" and then proceeded to act like a doctor, but with naughty connotations...Also, I'm sure that blushing and adamantly denying it, doesn't help. I'm just saying...
Back to the actual games...We got to play this game called Imaginiff. Phoenix and I almost bought this before, but didn't. You can play with up to 8 people. So, on each turn, you roll the dice and move a piece through the list of names (in either direction) to choose who the question will be about. So, if the question was, "Imaginiff Heather were a character in Middle Earth, which would she be?" And then you would have to choose from the following answers:
I was talking with Phoenix yesterday in the car (She took the day off because she was owed a few hours and her boss was like, "Take the day off because I can promise you that you'll be able to leave early.") as we ran errands and she said I should go to an open mic night to try stand-up comedy...I was like, "Yeah, maybe." She pointed out that originally, I wanted to be a stand-up comic, but I never tried. She said that everyone thinks I'm pretty funny and the way I tell stories makes them all that much funnier...Plus, I suppose I'm never at a loss for material because I have no problem making fun of people or myself for that matter. She said for my first routine, I could use some blog material, like the blog about the man at 7-11 who thought I was gay. *not amused* I don't know why that's her favorite story ever, but it is. I said, "No!" She said, "Yes!" Then she brought up other favorite blogs, like the one where I was going to work at Pizza Hut (Old school blog) and I got into the car only to have the entire middle part of my pants rip out. (I had had the pants for over a year and wore them to work all the time...They wore out. They weren't even true black anymore because I had worn them and washed them so often.) The kicker was that my new pants had a busted button(stupid washing machine!), so I couldn't wear those either because I didn't have time to sew anything. And as if that weren't enough, the cable guys were there hooking up the cable. I had to walk back into the house with my pants all ripped apart in front of the two cable guys and my step-dad...Good times, let me tell you. Phoenix loves this story. She finds all sorts of humor in my misadventures. I suppose most people do though, which is why so many people read my blogs...
Okay, that's it for me today...Tune in tomorrow for more!
The other night I went to check out Phoenix's niece's blogs...She had heard that I blogged and decided to give it a go, which is awesome! I love reading blogs...Well, I just love reading, but that's not the point. She had posted one a while back, but it was some kind of joke, I think, like boredom meets blogs or something. Again, not the point. So, I read this first official one and it was so cute because she mentioned her Tia's girlfriend, whom she called, "Red". So, from here on out, Phoenix's niece shall be referred to as, "Little Phoenix". (They have the same name in real life, so why not similar nicknames? LOL) Little Phoenix though, said she thinks of me as a "cool person". Phoenix kept telling me that her nieces and nephews like me, but I was just like, "Uh-huh, sure..." I mean, yeah, I play around with them and I think they're a great bunch of kids, but that doesn't mean much, you know? So, I read this blog and it was like a big giant warm fuzzy because she said she thought I was cool and funny. It was so sweet. Now, if I were one of those sappy, lovey-dovey, mushy-gushy girls, I probably would've teared up a bit and been like, "Ahh, she likes me! She really really likes me!" But I'm not, so I smiled and felt a little bit better about the kids liking me...At the very least, Little Phoenix likes me and that's great because she's a kick in the pants. She has found things on youtube.com that I have never heard about...And she knows the entire "The Mysterious Ticking Noise" by heart. Don't know what that is? Well, here...Check it out. I LOVE IT! And if we decide to do our own cover of it, then I get to be Snape! (I want the most air time...)
In other news, we had Family Game Night last night at Phoenix's Dad's house. It was also his birthday, so we had green chile for dinner and then cake. Can I take a moment to say that I should've been Mexican? I LOVE ME SOME MEXICAN FOOD!! Why didn't my mom make me fabulous food like green chile??? Bah! (Oh yeah, my chimichangas the other night ROCKED!) So, after all the eating and such, we got presents from her dad and step mom. They'd gone to Sedona and brought back stuff for the kids, grand kids, and for the significant others. I got a groovy metal bookmark that looks like a Celtic cross. I was excited that they got me anything. It was rather amusing though because her dad picked up a bag of stuff and said, "We got presents for everyone...Here Heather..." And proceeded to pull out a clear plastic bag with a box for an MP3 player (an empty box) and some other stuff. Everyone was stunned, as was I. What ever would I do with an MP3 player box? He then realized he had picked up Grandma Sally's bag of stuff (She had just gotten the MP3 player.). Eventually, he located the presents and passed them out. I was happy with the bookmark, but man, that MP3 player box would've been nice...
As a side note...One should be careful of the things that one is saying...For instance, if you are say, standing there talking to your sisters and explaining about how you were watching Grey's Anatomy on DVD and playing Bejewled Blitz on Facebook and you scored 51,000 points only to have accidentally switched off the wireless internet and lost the score, then you probably shouldn't start off the story with something like, "Last night, we were playing Grey's Anatomy..." Let me just tell you that as I stood by and listened to, "Last night, we were playing Grey's Anatomy..." I was like, "Oh man, here we go..." Sure enough, Phoenix's sister jumped at this and was like, "Oh yeah!?" and then proceeded to act like a doctor, but with naughty connotations...Also, I'm sure that blushing and adamantly denying it, doesn't help. I'm just saying...
Back to the actual games...We got to play this game called Imaginiff. Phoenix and I almost bought this before, but didn't. You can play with up to 8 people. So, on each turn, you roll the dice and move a piece through the list of names (in either direction) to choose who the question will be about. So, if the question was, "Imaginiff Heather were a character in Middle Earth, which would she be?" And then you would have to choose from the following answers:
- A Wizard
- A hobbit
- A king/queen
- An elf
- A goblin
- A dwarf
I was talking with Phoenix yesterday in the car (She took the day off because she was owed a few hours and her boss was like, "Take the day off because I can promise you that you'll be able to leave early.") as we ran errands and she said I should go to an open mic night to try stand-up comedy...I was like, "Yeah, maybe." She pointed out that originally, I wanted to be a stand-up comic, but I never tried. She said that everyone thinks I'm pretty funny and the way I tell stories makes them all that much funnier...Plus, I suppose I'm never at a loss for material because I have no problem making fun of people or myself for that matter. She said for my first routine, I could use some blog material, like the blog about the man at 7-11 who thought I was gay. *not amused* I don't know why that's her favorite story ever, but it is. I said, "No!" She said, "Yes!" Then she brought up other favorite blogs, like the one where I was going to work at Pizza Hut (Old school blog) and I got into the car only to have the entire middle part of my pants rip out. (I had had the pants for over a year and wore them to work all the time...They wore out. They weren't even true black anymore because I had worn them and washed them so often.) The kicker was that my new pants had a busted button(stupid washing machine!), so I couldn't wear those either because I didn't have time to sew anything. And as if that weren't enough, the cable guys were there hooking up the cable. I had to walk back into the house with my pants all ripped apart in front of the two cable guys and my step-dad...Good times, let me tell you. Phoenix loves this story. She finds all sorts of humor in my misadventures. I suppose most people do though, which is why so many people read my blogs...
Okay, that's it for me today...Tune in tomorrow for more!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Great Expectations...
Last night Phoenix made me watch The Biggest Loser. Please do not get me started on my problems with this show, like that it's just one more way that skinny folks can point and laugh at the fat kids ("Oh look!! She fell down crying, saying that it hurts to work out...I wonder why, you fat ass!"). I know, I should be all hopeful and believe that the American population isn't all bad and that no one will talk smack about the obese people on the show, but again, I'm a realist...And I've been obese since the ripe old age of infancy, so I think I know how people treat fat people. And, unless you've had 90% of your high school laugh at a fat joke made at your expense because of a line in some stupid play you were in that you had to perform for Black History Month, then you don't know what it's like...And unless you've had complete strangers talk smack about your weight or call you a "whale" or a "tub of lard", then again, you don't really get it. I'm sure you can sympathize, but you don't know what it's like to be the "fat kid". But I digress...So, the show has some problems that I see, like that a Fergie-look-alike shouldn't be the trainer. Also, I think that the host should not be some skinny girl, Alison Sweeney, but someone who was heavy and lost the weight. Where the hell is Ricki Lake? Or how about that one actress, Kathy Najimy? She was overweight and lost the weight. Ricki Lake was big when she was in Hairspray...And when she had her own trashy daytime talk show. You know she could've hosted this! I just think that I would personally be more likely to lose weight if I didn't have Fergie screaming in my face about her Lady Lumps and the host of the show saying, "You are officially the biggest person we've ever had on our show." I would've shown her the biggest person on the show up-close as I sat on her skinny ass...I'm just saying...
Sorry, I got off on a tangent there. The point is that these people want to lose the weight, but then if they get kicked off, who's really going to go home and keep working out for 4-6 hours a day??? Let's be realistic here. I have, however, decided that I am going to start swimming each day. And I'm going to make Phoenix start walking with me too. We've got to get on a different schedule though because her getting home at 9pm is too late to go walking, you know? Perhaps if I had a vicious-looking dog to take on walks at night, we'd go...But I'm not risking going out late without anything. We live too close to one of those hotels where you can rent the rooms by the week...And we all know that a majority of the people living there are druggies. (If you saw them, you'd understand.) I've been sucker punched in the face once by gang members, I don't need a repeat, only with druggies looking for something to sell for their next fix. I need to start doing something though because I don't want to die of Type II Diabetes...I can't remember to take antibiotics when I'm on those, so how in the hell would I remember to take my insulin? I doubt I'll lose 25 pounds my first week of working out like those people on The Biggest Loser, but I'd be happy if I lost anything and then didn't find it ever again.
As Phoenix was leaving for work today, she told me to clean one of the fish tanks we have. (The water got foggy out of nowhere...) I was like, "Uh-huh." I asked what else she wanted me to do today, besides figure out how to make chimichangas (I'm totally going to be a pro at cooking Mexican food soon!). Her reply was, "Write to Ellen." She wants me to write to Ellen so that we can get tickets to see her when we go to Cali in December. Apparently, I'm supposed to keep writing to her until we get tickets...Eh, whatever. I have the time, right? So, I ask, "Anything else, sweetheart?" There might have been sarcasm in my voice, but I doubt it since I have nothing but love for her...She was on her way out the door and she turned to say, "Publish a book." I just nodded and gave her the thumbs up. Really? Publish a book today? Sure, no problem...I think I can totally squeeze that in. I think my day will look something like this:
Sorry, I got off on a tangent there. The point is that these people want to lose the weight, but then if they get kicked off, who's really going to go home and keep working out for 4-6 hours a day??? Let's be realistic here. I have, however, decided that I am going to start swimming each day. And I'm going to make Phoenix start walking with me too. We've got to get on a different schedule though because her getting home at 9pm is too late to go walking, you know? Perhaps if I had a vicious-looking dog to take on walks at night, we'd go...But I'm not risking going out late without anything. We live too close to one of those hotels where you can rent the rooms by the week...And we all know that a majority of the people living there are druggies. (If you saw them, you'd understand.) I've been sucker punched in the face once by gang members, I don't need a repeat, only with druggies looking for something to sell for their next fix. I need to start doing something though because I don't want to die of Type II Diabetes...I can't remember to take antibiotics when I'm on those, so how in the hell would I remember to take my insulin? I doubt I'll lose 25 pounds my first week of working out like those people on The Biggest Loser, but I'd be happy if I lost anything and then didn't find it ever again.
As Phoenix was leaving for work today, she told me to clean one of the fish tanks we have. (The water got foggy out of nowhere...) I was like, "Uh-huh." I asked what else she wanted me to do today, besides figure out how to make chimichangas (I'm totally going to be a pro at cooking Mexican food soon!). Her reply was, "Write to Ellen." She wants me to write to Ellen so that we can get tickets to see her when we go to Cali in December. Apparently, I'm supposed to keep writing to her until we get tickets...Eh, whatever. I have the time, right? So, I ask, "Anything else, sweetheart?" There might have been sarcasm in my voice, but I doubt it since I have nothing but love for her...She was on her way out the door and she turned to say, "Publish a book." I just nodded and gave her the thumbs up. Really? Publish a book today? Sure, no problem...I think I can totally squeeze that in. I think my day will look something like this:
- Wash sheets from the bed
- Start the dishwasher
- Write to Ellen
- Publish a book
- Go Swimming
- Learn to cook Chimichangas
- Find time to write a follow-up best-selling novel
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
My Weekend in Review...
This past weekend was yet another crazy busy one...Such is life though, I suppose. So, first things first...I know you're all dying to know what happened with the iPod cake, huh? Yeah, me too. Just kidding! So, I skipped using fondant only because I thought it'd be ridiculous to spend close to $40 to make a kid a cake. Some of this cost is because I no longer have my cake decorating supplies in my possession (like pastry bags, decorating tips, etc...). I bought a small set for $12, which had most of what I needed. Instead, I used regular icing, in fact, I cheated and used canned frosting. Some of you may be saying, "But Heather, that stuff is too soft to decorate with!" I totally agree, which is why I added powdered sugar to it and whipped it up with my hand mixer. I just added enough powdered sugar to make it workable. It still tasted all right too...Anyway, all I had to "smooth" the frosting was a butter knife and the back of a spoon (which worked rather well) because I don't have a spatula or one of those frosting knife-thingies. (I know, my cake decorating terminology is awesome, huh?) So, here's the finished product: 
It's not smooth and that sucked, but I was rushed for time to decorate it because I didn't want to do it too far in advance, you know? Still, I think it's pretty clear...And it turned out that the #4 writing tip is too big to write small enough on the "screen" of the iPod, which is why the song titles are missing. Oh well. Colin loved the cake...Well, you can see for yourself how much the kids liked it:
Nice, huh? At least they ate it...
In other news, I also went to a wedding and a WNBA game. The wedding was nice. I actually dressed like a girl, much to the astonishment of Phoenix...And I took a picture as proof.
It was an all right wedding, but you know, if you're going to plan a wedding, make sure there's not like ninety minutes or longer of "down time" between eating and the setting up of the band...This wedding reception began with the intro of the wedding party (normal), then the first dance of the new couple (yeah, okay, I guess...I mean, if you're stretching for time before eating), then the dances with the father and daughter/etc (again, not the average thing, but whatever), then food, then absolutely nothing for 90 or more minutes, then some dancing, then cut the cake, then band breaks every so often. C'mon, I was bored stiff. Not to mention, I'm not much of a dance, you know, because I can't dance to save my life. Like you'd never catch me on, So You Think You Can Dance, because I know I can't. And I'd tell the producers of that show that too! Once Phoenix tried to pull me on the dance floor to do the Cha Cha Slide. Yeah, line dancing doesn't make my lack of rhythm any less obvious...Thanks, honey. I quickly ducked out of line and went back to my seat. I learned though that time is totally relative to how much fun you are having. For instance, an hour at Disneyland can feel like only moments when you're having fun, but if you're sitting at a table with people you don't have much in common with and can't really talk to because of the loud music, a few minutes can feel like an eternity. Trust me. I looked at my phone for the time like every two minutes or so. Phoenix almost took my phone away from me!! Eh, whatever.
As for the basketball game...I really enjoyed it. I didn't think I would at first, but then I was really getting into it and yelling with everyone else and Boo-ing the stupid LA Sparks. Yeah, the LA team won...Big jerks. Oh well. It was an awesome game and it was a non-stop thrill ride as the score was constantly flipping back and forth. Phoenix was in the lead, then LA, then Phoenix, then, well, you get the point. And they got the longest time outs I've ever seen in my life. I remember as a kid when I played, our coach would call time out and I swear, as soon as we got to him and he'd open his mouth, the ref would be yelling that time out was over! During these time outs, people danced on the court, marched around the court to show their support, other games were played (like these two older ladies competed for tickets to Disneyland or something by shooing baskets), etc...Here's a quick slide show so you can see the game from through my eyes...Oh yeah...Anyone know what the Phoenix Mercury mascot is? I swear he (Scorch is his name) looks kind of like a kangaroo or possibly an armadillo...Or maybe a cross between the two. He moves too quickly though to a get clear shot. Anyway, that's it for me, folks...Hope everyone had a great weekend...(PS: I appreciate the comments, guys...I cannot comment back though for some reason. It always shows it's going to post, but then nothing. And as good as otter pop glazed wings sounded, I went with teriyaki wings. lol)
I had the video ready, but for some reason, it won't let me load it on here. I'm going to see if I can get it to work later.
It's not smooth and that sucked, but I was rushed for time to decorate it because I didn't want to do it too far in advance, you know? Still, I think it's pretty clear...And it turned out that the #4 writing tip is too big to write small enough on the "screen" of the iPod, which is why the song titles are missing. Oh well. Colin loved the cake...Well, you can see for yourself how much the kids liked it:
Nice, huh? At least they ate it...
In other news, I also went to a wedding and a WNBA game. The wedding was nice. I actually dressed like a girl, much to the astonishment of Phoenix...And I took a picture as proof.
It was an all right wedding, but you know, if you're going to plan a wedding, make sure there's not like ninety minutes or longer of "down time" between eating and the setting up of the band...This wedding reception began with the intro of the wedding party (normal), then the first dance of the new couple (yeah, okay, I guess...I mean, if you're stretching for time before eating), then the dances with the father and daughter/etc (again, not the average thing, but whatever), then food, then absolutely nothing for 90 or more minutes, then some dancing, then cut the cake, then band breaks every so often. C'mon, I was bored stiff. Not to mention, I'm not much of a dance, you know, because I can't dance to save my life. Like you'd never catch me on, So You Think You Can Dance, because I know I can't. And I'd tell the producers of that show that too! Once Phoenix tried to pull me on the dance floor to do the Cha Cha Slide. Yeah, line dancing doesn't make my lack of rhythm any less obvious...Thanks, honey. I quickly ducked out of line and went back to my seat. I learned though that time is totally relative to how much fun you are having. For instance, an hour at Disneyland can feel like only moments when you're having fun, but if you're sitting at a table with people you don't have much in common with and can't really talk to because of the loud music, a few minutes can feel like an eternity. Trust me. I looked at my phone for the time like every two minutes or so. Phoenix almost took my phone away from me!! Eh, whatever.
As for the basketball game...I really enjoyed it. I didn't think I would at first, but then I was really getting into it and yelling with everyone else and Boo-ing the stupid LA Sparks. Yeah, the LA team won...Big jerks. Oh well. It was an awesome game and it was a non-stop thrill ride as the score was constantly flipping back and forth. Phoenix was in the lead, then LA, then Phoenix, then, well, you get the point. And they got the longest time outs I've ever seen in my life. I remember as a kid when I played, our coach would call time out and I swear, as soon as we got to him and he'd open his mouth, the ref would be yelling that time out was over! During these time outs, people danced on the court, marched around the court to show their support, other games were played (like these two older ladies competed for tickets to Disneyland or something by shooing baskets), etc...Here's a quick slide show so you can see the game from through my eyes...Oh yeah...Anyone know what the Phoenix Mercury mascot is? I swear he (Scorch is his name) looks kind of like a kangaroo or possibly an armadillo...Or maybe a cross between the two. He moves too quickly though to a get clear shot. Anyway, that's it for me, folks...Hope everyone had a great weekend...(PS: I appreciate the comments, guys...I cannot comment back though for some reason. It always shows it's going to post, but then nothing. And as good as otter pop glazed wings sounded, I went with teriyaki wings. lol)
I had the video ready, but for some reason, it won't let me load it on here. I'm going to see if I can get it to work later.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Chopped: The Empty Kitchen Version
I think that growing up sucks...I mean, as we grow up we start to realize things aren't as great as they seem when we were younger...For instance, it was sad to learn that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy (Phoenix, I'm sorry, but she doesn't exist...), hobbits, elves, etc don't exist. I remember one Christmas, right before I stopped believing in Santa, my parents tricked me...I had woken up and, most likely, had heard them putting out the presents. My mom came into my room and told me to be quiet because Santa was there and he'd leave if he knew I was awake. Then my dad came in and whispered that Santa was leaving all kinds of presents in the living room. Then, I heard Santa call out, "A merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" And then I heard something on the roof...A second later, my dad was all, "Did you hear that?" And my mom was talking to me the whole time...It was dark in my room, so I couldn't see them, just hear them. Yeah, I figured out a couple years later that my dad had crawled out of my room (I might've seen him in the dark had he stood up), hurried down the hall to the front door, snuck out onto the front porch, yelled his head off like a maniac, and then threw a handful of rocks from our gravel-like circular drive onto the roof...Very clever indeed...And kept me fooled for one more year about the big guy's existence. Unfortunately, I wasn't a gullible kid, so I caught on that life pretty much blows pretty early on...And for those of you wondering, I was seventeen at the time...
I mention this because I think because as kids, teens, etc, we have this idea that the fridge and cupboards magically fill themselves. Some of us might've had to go grocery shopping with mom or whatever, but still, you were never really required to make it happen...Apparently though, if neither Phoenix nor I go shopping, the cupboards will eventually become empty...This hasn't happened yet, but we're getting close. I actually muttered these words last night, "I just cooked up the last of the pork chops...I think all that's left for dinner tomorrow night is chicken wings...And just a few at that. Oh, and, no BBQ sauce." She had laughed, as if I were kidding with her. She's so cute when she thinks I'm being funny. As she left for work today, I said, "Look" and opened the freezer to show her that we have Otter Pops (I love me some blue Otter Pops!), some mostly freezer-burned meatballs she got from somewhere, a half-eaten container of Ben and Jerry's Heath Bar Ice Cream (you know that's not mine...I would've finished it.), some frozen veggies, the wings, and a few other odds and ends. She laughed. Then, as she was leaving, she said, "Make the wings with a teriyaki glaze or something...That'd be good." As I sputtered that I know nothing of making teriyaki glazes and that our deep fryer is out of oil (I cleaned it out.) and would have to fry the chicken wings in a pot on the stove top, she smiled and said, "You're good at making miracles happen." Doesn't she know this isn't Chopped: The Empty Kitchen version!? My mystery ingredients shouldn't be whatever we have left in the cupboards since neither of us has gone grocery shopping! Where's my mommy? Why doesn't she go shopping for me? I hate grocery shopping...
Speaking of the 'rents and all that, I had a sort of rude awakening the other night...I was looking online to see if I could find a song sung by one of the American Idols from last season...You know that girl Allison? She was so good. Yeah, Adam was great, but she was only 16 and rocked. Anyway, I was looking for that song, "Alone" and I saw it was by Heart. So, I looked up Heart and turns out I like a handful of their songs...I had no clue. And on iTunes, it suggests other groups you might like. And I was like, "Oh...I like these groups..." Then I talked to my mom a little while later and told her about the music I found. These were groups like Jethro Tull, Steppenwolf, etc...As I mentioned these groups, she says, "Those are groups that jackass liked." (For those not in the know, "Jackass" is my father. He is an abusive mother fucker and I don't talk to him anymore.) I mean, I knew that he was the one who mostly like classic rock, and it's bad enough that I like some Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin, which are a couple of his favorites...But now I like these other groups too??? Like I don't want to be anything like him. I don't even want to like the same foods that he likes. What, he likes air? I hate air. Okay, that's a bit extreme, but yeah...Perhaps we can't escape some things from our parents, huh?
I know that some of you are going, "Wait a second...Your dad pretended there was a Santa, but then you say he was abusive?" Yes, well, he wasn't a jackass all the time...He had his good moments. But I have to wonder how a person can go from this:
A dad with his adorable daughter...And yes, that's me. I was a cute baby. Who knows what happened after that, but I was cute then...Anyway, so what makes a man go from that to this:
Damn it...That's scary too, but wrong picture...
Here we go:
Much better...How does a man go though, from being a seemingly good guy to the devil? Ehh, who knows?
You know what I do know though? I know that I need to go figure out how to make a teriyaki glaze for dinner!! If they ever do a Chopped show for the average person, I'm totally going to try to get on there!
I mention this because I think because as kids, teens, etc, we have this idea that the fridge and cupboards magically fill themselves. Some of us might've had to go grocery shopping with mom or whatever, but still, you were never really required to make it happen...Apparently though, if neither Phoenix nor I go shopping, the cupboards will eventually become empty...This hasn't happened yet, but we're getting close. I actually muttered these words last night, "I just cooked up the last of the pork chops...I think all that's left for dinner tomorrow night is chicken wings...And just a few at that. Oh, and, no BBQ sauce." She had laughed, as if I were kidding with her. She's so cute when she thinks I'm being funny. As she left for work today, I said, "Look" and opened the freezer to show her that we have Otter Pops (I love me some blue Otter Pops!), some mostly freezer-burned meatballs she got from somewhere, a half-eaten container of Ben and Jerry's Heath Bar Ice Cream (you know that's not mine...I would've finished it.), some frozen veggies, the wings, and a few other odds and ends. She laughed. Then, as she was leaving, she said, "Make the wings with a teriyaki glaze or something...That'd be good." As I sputtered that I know nothing of making teriyaki glazes and that our deep fryer is out of oil (I cleaned it out.) and would have to fry the chicken wings in a pot on the stove top, she smiled and said, "You're good at making miracles happen." Doesn't she know this isn't Chopped: The Empty Kitchen version!? My mystery ingredients shouldn't be whatever we have left in the cupboards since neither of us has gone grocery shopping! Where's my mommy? Why doesn't she go shopping for me? I hate grocery shopping...
Speaking of the 'rents and all that, I had a sort of rude awakening the other night...I was looking online to see if I could find a song sung by one of the American Idols from last season...You know that girl Allison? She was so good. Yeah, Adam was great, but she was only 16 and rocked. Anyway, I was looking for that song, "Alone" and I saw it was by Heart. So, I looked up Heart and turns out I like a handful of their songs...I had no clue. And on iTunes, it suggests other groups you might like. And I was like, "Oh...I like these groups..." Then I talked to my mom a little while later and told her about the music I found. These were groups like Jethro Tull, Steppenwolf, etc...As I mentioned these groups, she says, "Those are groups that jackass liked." (For those not in the know, "Jackass" is my father. He is an abusive mother fucker and I don't talk to him anymore.) I mean, I knew that he was the one who mostly like classic rock, and it's bad enough that I like some Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin, which are a couple of his favorites...But now I like these other groups too??? Like I don't want to be anything like him. I don't even want to like the same foods that he likes. What, he likes air? I hate air. Okay, that's a bit extreme, but yeah...Perhaps we can't escape some things from our parents, huh?
I know that some of you are going, "Wait a second...Your dad pretended there was a Santa, but then you say he was abusive?" Yes, well, he wasn't a jackass all the time...He had his good moments. But I have to wonder how a person can go from this:
A dad with his adorable daughter...And yes, that's me. I was a cute baby. Who knows what happened after that, but I was cute then...Anyway, so what makes a man go from that to this:
Damn it...That's scary too, but wrong picture...
Here we go:
Much better...How does a man go though, from being a seemingly good guy to the devil? Ehh, who knows?
You know what I do know though? I know that I need to go figure out how to make a teriyaki glaze for dinner!! If they ever do a Chopped show for the average person, I'm totally going to try to get on there!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Labor Day Weekend, etc...
We were lucky enough over the weekend to get to spend a night with Phoenix's nephew. He's six and says things like, "I know...right?" all the time. It sounds weird to me when teenagers and others say, "I know...right?" My immediate response (in my head) is, "Wrong." I don't even know what they mean when they say that! I get a lot of flack from Phoenix for saying things like, "Seriously." So, I'm not sure why it's cool for a six-year-old to say, "I know...right?" I refrained though, from saying, "You're six! What could you possibly know!"
After a failed trip to the library for the Science Center passes (They're free at the library if you happen to get there early enough to get the limited amount, which I think might just be one free pass for all of Phoenix...BAH! Who wanted to see that ultra cool Lego exhibit anyway? I mean, it's not like I used to play with Legos all the time as a kid and even had the big ass pirate ship that took days to put together because of all the sails and sticker details...And it's not like my brother and sister destroyed it because they were evil little children and from then on, I didn't put together any big sets because it pissed me off...Er, umm...what?), we ended up taking the nephew to Target for nachos (He swore he loved their food there.) and an icee. We also got Uno cards. Apparently, cheating runs in Phoenix's family because he was trying to discard all his cards at once...For instance, if it was blue and he had five blue cards, he'd stack them together and try to discard them all at one go. It was rather amusing. This sounds exactly like something Phoenix would try to do...I, on the other hand, just shoved my cards down into the couch...UNO!
On Monday, we went to Phoenix's sister's house for a barbecue. I watched as the sister burned her chicken and then offered to barbecue the rest of the meat, including Phoenix's and my burgers...The sister asked, "Can you barbecue?" I said, "Yeah..." I think she realized that I didn't want her to burn my food. Apparently, I was supposed to volunteer before she burned her chicken...Live and learn, right? Anyway, after eating, Phoenix's niece was going to show her mom how to do the "Ho Down Throw Down"--Wait, considering that I think it's Hannah Montana, it's probably, "Hoe Down Throw Down," huh? Eh, whatever. So, she starts the music and her mom is telling her that she has to show her the moves first, that they can't just start dancing, right? So, the daughter gets a little huffy about it, which makes Phoenix's sister get an attitude too and she raises her voice at her daughter about having an attitude...This goes on for a few minutes until they decide not to do the dance. It was an amusing exchange between the two...The best part was that the daughter had started her webcam on her laptop, which is where she had the music playing so that she could record them dancing...Instead, she had the entire exchange between her mom and herself. And she told her mom, "I recorded you yelling at me." Note to self: Never buy children computers, cell phone, cameras, etc where they can record you yelling at them...
Last thing, I promise...Phoenix's nephew, the one we hung out with the other day, has his birthday in a couple of days. On September 11th, to be exact. Anyway, we asked what he wanted for his birthday. His first answer was, "Two boxes of gum. I love this flavor gum." Bubble gum. Later he told us that he wants a bed because his is "lumpy" and a iPod so he can have his own music to listen to. Oh, an iPod...Sure thing, kiddo. I didn't even buy my own iPod, so it's unlikely that I'm going to buy Mr. "I know...Right?" an iPod. He insisted that we should get him one. Umm...Sure. Phoenix's one niece also has a birthday coming up. We had thought that for her birthday I could make her a cool cake (Well, hopefully a cool cake) with fondant and all that. I really want to learn how to do that stuff. (I should've gone to pastry school instead of getting a BA in English!) So, Phoenix said, "Make him a cake first as practice." I said it was a good idea and decided to go with it. Unfortunately, he's into G.I. Joe...Umm...I'm not making a G.I. Joe cake. As I did research online for ideas, I saw an iPod cake. *grins* That's right...I'm making him an iPod cake!! And I'm even going to make it look like his favorite Taylor Swift song is on it!! Yeah, I'm mean...Whatever...I think it'll be cool. Here's a pic of the cake I saw as inspiration...
I won't be making it pink though...It'll be blue and it's going to be freakin' awesome...If I can make it look in real life how it looks in my head. So, wish me luck...
After a failed trip to the library for the Science Center passes (They're free at the library if you happen to get there early enough to get the limited amount, which I think might just be one free pass for all of Phoenix...BAH! Who wanted to see that ultra cool Lego exhibit anyway? I mean, it's not like I used to play with Legos all the time as a kid and even had the big ass pirate ship that took days to put together because of all the sails and sticker details...And it's not like my brother and sister destroyed it because they were evil little children and from then on, I didn't put together any big sets because it pissed me off...Er, umm...what?), we ended up taking the nephew to Target for nachos (He swore he loved their food there.) and an icee. We also got Uno cards. Apparently, cheating runs in Phoenix's family because he was trying to discard all his cards at once...For instance, if it was blue and he had five blue cards, he'd stack them together and try to discard them all at one go. It was rather amusing. This sounds exactly like something Phoenix would try to do...I, on the other hand, just shoved my cards down into the couch...UNO!
On Monday, we went to Phoenix's sister's house for a barbecue. I watched as the sister burned her chicken and then offered to barbecue the rest of the meat, including Phoenix's and my burgers...The sister asked, "Can you barbecue?" I said, "Yeah..." I think she realized that I didn't want her to burn my food. Apparently, I was supposed to volunteer before she burned her chicken...Live and learn, right? Anyway, after eating, Phoenix's niece was going to show her mom how to do the "Ho Down Throw Down"--Wait, considering that I think it's Hannah Montana, it's probably, "Hoe Down Throw Down," huh? Eh, whatever. So, she starts the music and her mom is telling her that she has to show her the moves first, that they can't just start dancing, right? So, the daughter gets a little huffy about it, which makes Phoenix's sister get an attitude too and she raises her voice at her daughter about having an attitude...This goes on for a few minutes until they decide not to do the dance. It was an amusing exchange between the two...The best part was that the daughter had started her webcam on her laptop, which is where she had the music playing so that she could record them dancing...Instead, she had the entire exchange between her mom and herself. And she told her mom, "I recorded you yelling at me." Note to self: Never buy children computers, cell phone, cameras, etc where they can record you yelling at them...
Last thing, I promise...Phoenix's nephew, the one we hung out with the other day, has his birthday in a couple of days. On September 11th, to be exact. Anyway, we asked what he wanted for his birthday. His first answer was, "Two boxes of gum. I love this flavor gum." Bubble gum. Later he told us that he wants a bed because his is "lumpy" and a iPod so he can have his own music to listen to. Oh, an iPod...Sure thing, kiddo. I didn't even buy my own iPod, so it's unlikely that I'm going to buy Mr. "I know...Right?" an iPod. He insisted that we should get him one. Umm...Sure. Phoenix's one niece also has a birthday coming up. We had thought that for her birthday I could make her a cool cake (Well, hopefully a cool cake) with fondant and all that. I really want to learn how to do that stuff. (I should've gone to pastry school instead of getting a BA in English!) So, Phoenix said, "Make him a cake first as practice." I said it was a good idea and decided to go with it. Unfortunately, he's into G.I. Joe...Umm...I'm not making a G.I. Joe cake. As I did research online for ideas, I saw an iPod cake. *grins* That's right...I'm making him an iPod cake!! And I'm even going to make it look like his favorite Taylor Swift song is on it!! Yeah, I'm mean...Whatever...I think it'll be cool. Here's a pic of the cake I saw as inspiration...
I won't be making it pink though...It'll be blue and it's going to be freakin' awesome...If I can make it look in real life how it looks in my head. So, wish me luck...
Saturday, September 5, 2009
A coincidence?
For the last couple of months or so, I've been getting random calls from a local AZ number. I don't know who the person is and until last night, I had no idea it was even a girl calling. Normally, the person calls at various times of the day or night (anywhere from the middle of the afternoon until the middle of the night). When I answer, I say, "Hello?" and there is no reply, but the line is open, so I know someone is listening. Last week the person called at almost midnight and I put them on speaker phone so Phoenix could hear what I was talking about when I said they were obviously still on the phone. You could hear static and background noises. That night I said, "Fuck off" and hung up on them. I had hoped that would stop it...But let's face it, this is my life and that's not the end...
Last night, we had a mini Grey's Anatomy marathon after we went to family game night. (Family game night sort of sucked since we got there late because Phoenix worked and didn't get off until it had already started....The real problem though was that they were playing Risk. Phoenix and I ended up playing Rummy and Old Maid with her niece.) As for Grey's Anatomy, I didn't watch the show until this season, so we've been getting the old seasons from Netflix and watching them. (She's already seen all the shows, but she watches with me.) Anyway, we had watched three episodes last night before calling it a night. By then, it was a little after 2am. I went and washed my face, brushed my teeth, etc, and was about to hop into bed at about 2:20am. I was remarking about our cat being on crack and running around the house as she always does at that time of night when my phone rang. As luck would have it, it was that foreign number. WTF? I answered it with a gruff, "Hello!" This time I was granted with a girl saying "Hello" right back at me. I wasn't surprised that it was a girl...In fact, so little surprises me anymore. I might've been surprised if it were, say, Freddy Krueger or Ed McMahon from the Great Beyond to notify me that I would've won the Publisher's Clearinghouse if he had only lived for one more year...But I digress...I once more said "Hello" and the girl did the same. Phoenix asked who it was and as I pulled the phone away from my face, I said it was some strange girl, but I heard the girl say something else. I immediately asked, "What?" She repeated the, "What?" It was at this point that I realized I was dealing with a 2-year-old. Okay, probably not, but definitely some bitch with the mentality of a 2-year-old. I asked, "Who is this?" In a bitchy tone, the girl asked, "Who is this!?" I hung up. They called right back and Phoenix insisted on answering. I wonder if she thought it was someone she knew. Of course, when she answered no one said a word. Dumbasses. I was pissed. I don't know who this bitch is who has my number, but I'm done playing these childish games. I went to my computer and Googled the number. It's supposedly a land line here in the Phoenix area. Whatever. I'm not going to pay money to find out a name...I'm not sure I really want to know who it is or how they got my number.
As I sat here at my computer, listening to Phoenix say that it was probably someone trying to get a hold of someone who used to have my number (I've had my number since November.), my phone rang again. This time it was the gate here at our place. We have it set up so that people can dial a specific number at the gate, which then calls me, so I can talk to the people at the gate and let them in...or not. It's kind of cool. I once let Phoenix in the gate all the way from California. Haha. Anyway, so I answer it only because I was already agitated and I can't imagine who in their right mind is at the gate at 2:27am. (The first call came in at 2:25, the second at 2:26, and the gate at 2:27...weird, huh?) So, I'm all, "Hello?" Immediately, I get a girl's voice, "Let me in!" WTF!? I have no clue if it's the same girl who'd been calling me, but it's weird and now I'm freaked out. I couldn't tell if it was the same girl because the gate voicebox thing makes everyone sound staticy. But if the number really is a landline, then there's no way she could be at the gate...right? It was all too weird.
By then I was pissed and about to go handle some shit. This morning, Phoenix said we should've gone down to the gate to see who it was...Yeah, hindsight, I tell ya. Instead, I hung up on the girl without a word. I sat here for a few minutes before I decided to go outside to check things out. Our cars were as we had left them and I couldn't see any cars cruising the parking lot. And no, I was not lame enough to go downstairs and look around...I looked around from a vantage point above everything and I had my trusty piece of shit cell phone with me...just in cases. I have no clue what was going on. (On a side note, we know a cop who works this area and we found out that there were two calls here at the complex for burglary...And one was not far from our apartment. Coincidence?)
It took me forever to fall asleep last night. I was worried that perhaps someone Phoenix knows gave my number out to someone who shouldn't have it, but she says I'm paranoid...I'm not sure why that makes me paranoid since this certain someone got her number before, but whatever...I can only imagine it would be more fun to torture me by directly contacting me than to go through Phoenix. That's just my thinking though. Then I was trying to figure out who was at the gate. It shows most of my name on the box, so I'm not sure how people could mis-dial, you know? My last name is NOT common and it's only part of my first name that gets hacked off. (And no, I'm not throwing my last name out here on the Internet...) I ended up having bad dreams all night long. Phoenix told me that I was "talking" (mumbling) in my sleep all night long. I'm not at all surprised. Then I woke up this morning from a nightmare and as I tried to shake it off, there was a loud crashing noise that almost sent me flying out of bed. I thought for sure someone was busting in the apartment, but it was just thunder...
I fell asleep sometime after 3am this morning I woke up at 8-something this morning. I was never able to go back to sleep because of the thunder and I was on edge. I'm not sure why someone would want to mess with me since I haven't done anything to anyone...It's not cool though...And I know...You guys are all disappointed because this isn't a funny blog...Well, unless you count this part. Here's the number for this person who keeps messing with me. (623) 587-8140. Feel free to prank that number whenever you feel like it...Just block your number so that she can't call you back. Have a wonderful day!
Last night, we had a mini Grey's Anatomy marathon after we went to family game night. (Family game night sort of sucked since we got there late because Phoenix worked and didn't get off until it had already started....The real problem though was that they were playing Risk. Phoenix and I ended up playing Rummy and Old Maid with her niece.) As for Grey's Anatomy, I didn't watch the show until this season, so we've been getting the old seasons from Netflix and watching them. (She's already seen all the shows, but she watches with me.) Anyway, we had watched three episodes last night before calling it a night. By then, it was a little after 2am. I went and washed my face, brushed my teeth, etc, and was about to hop into bed at about 2:20am. I was remarking about our cat being on crack and running around the house as she always does at that time of night when my phone rang. As luck would have it, it was that foreign number. WTF? I answered it with a gruff, "Hello!" This time I was granted with a girl saying "Hello" right back at me. I wasn't surprised that it was a girl...In fact, so little surprises me anymore. I might've been surprised if it were, say, Freddy Krueger or Ed McMahon from the Great Beyond to notify me that I would've won the Publisher's Clearinghouse if he had only lived for one more year...But I digress...I once more said "Hello" and the girl did the same. Phoenix asked who it was and as I pulled the phone away from my face, I said it was some strange girl, but I heard the girl say something else. I immediately asked, "What?" She repeated the, "What?" It was at this point that I realized I was dealing with a 2-year-old. Okay, probably not, but definitely some bitch with the mentality of a 2-year-old. I asked, "Who is this?" In a bitchy tone, the girl asked, "Who is this!?" I hung up. They called right back and Phoenix insisted on answering. I wonder if she thought it was someone she knew. Of course, when she answered no one said a word. Dumbasses. I was pissed. I don't know who this bitch is who has my number, but I'm done playing these childish games. I went to my computer and Googled the number. It's supposedly a land line here in the Phoenix area. Whatever. I'm not going to pay money to find out a name...I'm not sure I really want to know who it is or how they got my number.
As I sat here at my computer, listening to Phoenix say that it was probably someone trying to get a hold of someone who used to have my number (I've had my number since November.), my phone rang again. This time it was the gate here at our place. We have it set up so that people can dial a specific number at the gate, which then calls me, so I can talk to the people at the gate and let them in...or not. It's kind of cool. I once let Phoenix in the gate all the way from California. Haha. Anyway, so I answer it only because I was already agitated and I can't imagine who in their right mind is at the gate at 2:27am. (The first call came in at 2:25, the second at 2:26, and the gate at 2:27...weird, huh?) So, I'm all, "Hello?" Immediately, I get a girl's voice, "Let me in!" WTF!? I have no clue if it's the same girl who'd been calling me, but it's weird and now I'm freaked out. I couldn't tell if it was the same girl because the gate voicebox thing makes everyone sound staticy. But if the number really is a landline, then there's no way she could be at the gate...right? It was all too weird.
By then I was pissed and about to go handle some shit. This morning, Phoenix said we should've gone down to the gate to see who it was...Yeah, hindsight, I tell ya. Instead, I hung up on the girl without a word. I sat here for a few minutes before I decided to go outside to check things out. Our cars were as we had left them and I couldn't see any cars cruising the parking lot. And no, I was not lame enough to go downstairs and look around...I looked around from a vantage point above everything and I had my trusty piece of shit cell phone with me...just in cases. I have no clue what was going on. (On a side note, we know a cop who works this area and we found out that there were two calls here at the complex for burglary...And one was not far from our apartment. Coincidence?)
It took me forever to fall asleep last night. I was worried that perhaps someone Phoenix knows gave my number out to someone who shouldn't have it, but she says I'm paranoid...I'm not sure why that makes me paranoid since this certain someone got her number before, but whatever...I can only imagine it would be more fun to torture me by directly contacting me than to go through Phoenix. That's just my thinking though. Then I was trying to figure out who was at the gate. It shows most of my name on the box, so I'm not sure how people could mis-dial, you know? My last name is NOT common and it's only part of my first name that gets hacked off. (And no, I'm not throwing my last name out here on the Internet...) I ended up having bad dreams all night long. Phoenix told me that I was "talking" (mumbling) in my sleep all night long. I'm not at all surprised. Then I woke up this morning from a nightmare and as I tried to shake it off, there was a loud crashing noise that almost sent me flying out of bed. I thought for sure someone was busting in the apartment, but it was just thunder...
I fell asleep sometime after 3am this morning I woke up at 8-something this morning. I was never able to go back to sleep because of the thunder and I was on edge. I'm not sure why someone would want to mess with me since I haven't done anything to anyone...It's not cool though...And I know...You guys are all disappointed because this isn't a funny blog...Well, unless you count this part. Here's the number for this person who keeps messing with me. (623) 587-8140. Feel free to prank that number whenever you feel like it...Just block your number so that she can't call you back. Have a wonderful day!
Friday, September 4, 2009
So very, very, very gay...
I am at Barnes and Noble where I had every intention of writing, but you know I can't help but notice everyone around me. I wasn't going to write right now about the weirdos like the man who I've seen here repeatedly reading books on gambling, the latest of which is How to Win at Roulette....But now, I have to write because this guy just walked in and was like, "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!" in the gayest voice I've ever heard in my life! I was sitting here, writing an email to a friend on Facebook, and his voice was like fingernails down a chalkboard. He was gayer than Jack on Will and Grace. He's gayer than the guy who does What the Buck on Youtube.com. If this guy was a superhero, he'd be Super Takes it up the ass Man! He couldn't even stand like a normal human being. He was standing at the counter, rocking back and forth like he was going to hump the counter. I guess he works here, but I've never seen him before in my life. I would've remembered his stupid faux hawk. Really, grow some balls and get a real mohawk, punk rock gay boy. Anyway, he was here for a few minutes ("I just HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD to come by for one of your AMMMMMMAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZING cookies!") and then pranced out of here...Maybe not pranced...More like cat-walked out here. Seriously, he was looking from side to side and swaying his hips more than Jessica Rabbit on Who Framed Roger Rabbit?.
I think what made me laugh the hardest was this old woman who's sitting a couple of tables away from me. As soon as she heard the "Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!" her head snapped up and she looked irritated. She watched the gay boy in absolute horror, as if he had some sort of contagious disease. This was worse than those horrible car accidents you see and want to look away, but find you can't drag your eyes away no matter how bad it is. (I saw a car accident once where someone got decapitated and I kept looking at the body as they covered it...It was as if my mind couldn't comprehend that the man was headless...I wanted to look away, but I just couldn't.) As he walked out, she watched his hips sway and she had this look on her face that reminded me of my grandma. My grandma has this one specific look that tells the recipient that she is so disappointed in them that she might as well disown them. It's like anger and disappointment and shame all rolled into one. That's the look this woman gave him. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing. She realized though that I saw her and she buried her face back into her magazine...I can't wait to grow old and crotchety.
On a side note...I wonder if this other girl sitting here, on her computer, is also people watching. She keeps looking around at people...Perhaps she's writing about the man with the gambling addiction...Or the man who has to be in his forties and wearing a comicbook t-shirt...Or the grandma with the four grandchildren, whom she has given coffee and sweets to...Or maybe she's even blogging about the condescending Starbucks worker who will, in her passive-agressive way, correct your ordering or whatever you did wrong. For instance, if you say you want a large coffee, she says, "A venti coffee." You hear the emphasis. Today, she got me (and I try so hard not to get corrected!) because I accidentally swiped my Starbucks gift card instead of the Barnes and Noble one. Damn it! I was so close! All I know is that I hope that girl isn't blogging about me!! If you read any blog about a girl on a red laptop in a gray and purple polo shirt, it wasn't me, okay?
I think what made me laugh the hardest was this old woman who's sitting a couple of tables away from me. As soon as she heard the "Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!" her head snapped up and she looked irritated. She watched the gay boy in absolute horror, as if he had some sort of contagious disease. This was worse than those horrible car accidents you see and want to look away, but find you can't drag your eyes away no matter how bad it is. (I saw a car accident once where someone got decapitated and I kept looking at the body as they covered it...It was as if my mind couldn't comprehend that the man was headless...I wanted to look away, but I just couldn't.) As he walked out, she watched his hips sway and she had this look on her face that reminded me of my grandma. My grandma has this one specific look that tells the recipient that she is so disappointed in them that she might as well disown them. It's like anger and disappointment and shame all rolled into one. That's the look this woman gave him. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing. She realized though that I saw her and she buried her face back into her magazine...I can't wait to grow old and crotchety.
On a side note...I wonder if this other girl sitting here, on her computer, is also people watching. She keeps looking around at people...Perhaps she's writing about the man with the gambling addiction...Or the man who has to be in his forties and wearing a comicbook t-shirt...Or the grandma with the four grandchildren, whom she has given coffee and sweets to...Or maybe she's even blogging about the condescending Starbucks worker who will, in her passive-agressive way, correct your ordering or whatever you did wrong. For instance, if you say you want a large coffee, she says, "A venti coffee." You hear the emphasis. Today, she got me (and I try so hard not to get corrected!) because I accidentally swiped my Starbucks gift card instead of the Barnes and Noble one. Damn it! I was so close! All I know is that I hope that girl isn't blogging about me!! If you read any blog about a girl on a red laptop in a gray and purple polo shirt, it wasn't me, okay?
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