I think that some people were created to work in the corporate world...Like people who are okay working in a little box and talking to angry people all day, making a profit for a big nameless/faceless boss who reaps the benefits of our slave work. I, yes I, am NOT one of these people. I am not okay with not being allowed to be myself and I am not okay with kissing people's asses when in reality someone should be telling them to own up to their fucking mistakes. Dude, it's not my fault you're a fucking idiot who cannot read their billing statement. People always bitch because the bill separates their charges from payments and credits? We changed that over a year ago...Get the fuck over it! *sigh* But I digress...It's just crazy. Like I don't know how so many of these people go in day after day and they're okay with it. I am not okay! This is not for me! I should not be tied to a fucking phone all day! I don't know how to handle people...Like sometimes I'm just at a loss. Today I had a guy call in and he was like, "I need all my statements from 2010." I said he could get them off the internet and they'll download in 24 hours. He says, "No, I need them RIGHT NOW! It's for my taxes." Umm...If you got an extension, you knew this was coming up. If you're being audited, again, you knew this shit was coming. I said, "I'm sorry. It takes 24 hours to download. If I send them, it'll be 7-10 days." This only pissed him off more. "But I'm a platinum card holder! It's your job to make me happy!" Ummm...No, no it's not, fucker. It's not my job to make anyone happy except maybe my boss. When I told him that I was sorry and that there was nothing I could do, he just yelled at me more, calling me an idiot. I'm an idiot because I am not bending to his every whim. What was I supposed to do, wave my Harry Potter wand and make his statements appear before him? Fuck him, I say! In the end, he had to get them off the internet. Fucking idiot. As my co-worker told me (And she heard it from someone else), "Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for me." Or something like that...Like it totally makes sense though. Sure, you may be all worked up, but it's not really my fault and you're being a jackass to me because you can't be mean to yourself for being a fucking idiot!! I just realized I've said fuck like a billion times so far...Yeah, well, fuck it...Whatever. lol
Anyway, with all this sort of shit going on, on Saturday I got a call from my mom while I was at work. She immediately texted me to ask if I was at work. I said yes and asked what was going on...Then, as an after thought, I asked about her friend who'd been battling cancer..."Is Leslie okay?" I don't know why, but I did...She wasn't okay. Leslie had passed away earlier that morning. This was a woman who was my mom's best friend for like 22 years. They met as room mom's or PTA ladies or something and became instant friends. For a few years, while I was a teenager, we went to Lake Diaz every year for family camping trips. This was a fun-loving lady who played some of the craziest pranks and was always down for a crazy ass water fight. I remember her sending one of her sons on one of the trips to grab the book I was reading from my hands and before I could even yell, "Hey!" and chase him, she was chucking water balloons at me. WHAM! I was hit! She was the same one who totally pranked her and my mom's other friend, and older woman who made Bea Arthur look like a dainty woman. On one of our trips to Lake Diaz, this other woman and her family came along. This woman was a smoker (This was years before I every became a smoker.) and Leslie bought some of those little firecracker things you put in cigarettes to make them blow up...Not blow up like in the cartoons, like a Bugs Bunny exploding cigar, but they popped...So, Leslie made us distract the woman so that her smokes could be taken (And she was a chain-smoker who usually had 1-2 packs opened.) and loaded. She didn't load every cigarette...No, there was a method to her madness. She loaded like five smokes in the pack so that she'd get a good smoke, then a popping one, then another that was fine. At first, this woman was clueless, but when she realized that to many smokes were blowing up, she was pissed! Oh man, it was priceless! Like seriously! It was great! No one fucked with this lady, but Leslie and my mom fucked with her all the time. They even once glued a bunch of her shit to her desk for the PTA because she was getting all crazy about people taking her pencils and stuff...I guess no one could take her stuff then, huh? BWahahahaha!! But she wasn't all pranks...She was an amazing woman who was always looking out for everyone. I remember when I was fifteen and was recovering from bronchial pneumonia, she came by a couple of times to "kidnap" me. She took me with her to see a movie and to lunch. Usually, on Fridays, she had someone cover her daycare (Like an assistant who came in) and she'd spend the day alone, but a few times she came by to get me because she knew I was going stir crazy at home. To this day, when I see The Brady Bunch movie or people mention it, I think of her because she was excited to see it and it was so lame it was funny! But she didn't have to pick me up. Who wants to hang out with a 15 year old girl recovering from a major sickness? Normally, she went to the movies alone and she's the reason that I can go to the movies alone...I know it's okay to go alone. Not many people are okay with that, but I am. She was awesome! And even right now, it's hard not to cry.
So, there I was at work on Saturday when I got the text and the tears were immediate. I couldn't even try to hold them back. I went to a supervisor and asked for a few minutes off the phones so I could compose myself, but there was little I could do to make it stop. I was just sitting there remembering all the crazy things about this woman...She was so strong. She was hilarious. She was so many things and she was my mom's friend, but she was one of those people who shaped my life in little ways no one really thinks of. It just sucks. I imagine if I'm hurting like this, how do her kids feel? How about her husband? I can't even imagine. We all knew she had cancer again (She'd had breast cancer before and was in remission.) and that it was terminal, but we thought there'd be more time...Apparently, there's never enough time. It just sucks. After fifteen or so minutes off the phone at work, I had to get back on and there I was, crying between calls. I just couldn't stop the tears. I'm not a crier. I don't fucking cry and yet, here I am again, with tears. I never got to say goodbye, but I'm sure she knew I loved her, despite the fact that she was oftentimes a butthead and that's what I always called her and she called me, "Red" for...well, for various reasons. I'll never forget her and I hope that when I have kids of my own, I can pass along the love of pranks and good jokes that she taught me even though I'm not her kid. I love you, Leslie. I hope you're in a better place and out of pain.
Yeah, it sucks to get this news and be stuck at work where you have to deal with assholes and all I wanted to do was yell, "You're pissed because you got hit with a three dollar interest charge? Are you fucking kidding me?? My mom's friend died today, you ass monkey! She had cancer and died! And you're bugging me about three fucking dollars!? Fuck you!" Of course, I can't say that...Instead, I take off the charge and wipe my tears. Then on Sunday, after not really sleeping, I got to spend half the day with the kids who weren't behaving. Even yesterday, I could've cried on cue. I don't know how people deal with this...Phoenix told me yesterday that it's amazing how much this is affecting me and that I'm blessed to have lost so few people in my life. She wasn't being bitchy, despite how the comment came out, but she's right. I haven't lost a lot of people in my life and I'm really lucky in that aspect...Of course, her family is like 10 times the size of mine, so there's a lot more people and a lot more older people, which sucks...Not that this is a contest. I think she's just surprised to see me cry about this. As I said, I'm not a crier. But yeah...This whole thing has made me realize that I need to do what makes me happy...And what the fuck kind of company lets a worker work who's crying? C'mon...I know the supervisor I went to was the nicest one available and I honestly love that lady because she's super cool and I know she did what she could, but still...It's time to move on. I need something that makes me happy and that means something to me...Life is too short...
