So, yesterday, I was holding out hope that perhaps I wouldn't have to work, but I was prepared to have to work. I called a couple of hours before my shift to ask what time the deli would be closing, but the manager I needed (Smokey) wasn't there yet. An hour before my shift, she was finally there and in a crappy-ass mood. (And yes, "crappy-ass" is a technical term for what her mood was.) I asked what time the deli closed and she responded, "Well, maybe at six, but I'll decide later. It was so busy earlier and we don't want to miss out on the business." I don't know who "we" is, but it sure as hell didn't include me because I was all for missing out on business!! I went in to work, grumbling the entire way about my hatred for Walmart.
Once at work, I saw there were signs announcing the deli's closure at 6pm. My heart might've lifted slightly, but I had one hell of a day ahead of me to get out in three hours. I mean, they had chickens cooking and normally, after cooking the chickens, we spray the oven with this cleaner that has to "cook" for like an hour. Then it has to be wiped out (or sprayed with the hose if you're in a hurry and no managers are around...Of course, no one ever does that though...*shifty eyes*) and polished with Dazzle. *rolls eyes* They had a turkey cooking in our bread oven. And I think they expected us to bake some bread, but the bread was frozen and definitely not rising like it should, so I put it back in the freezer. LOL I was working with Tortilla and she was already taking down the case with the hot food when I got there, so I decided to start working too. I filtered the fryers and was cleaning in that area the first time Smokey came over and started talking shit. I was making a smart ass comment to Tortilla about something as I waited for the fryer to pump the oil from the filter holding unit thing to the fryer and we were laughing. Smokey then said, "You need to be working." And pointed out that I was laughing and not working. Apparently, she was butt hurt about being there...Odd though that she makes the schedule...Idiot.
A coworker of mine refers to Smokey as "the troll" which I think fits...She's so short and miserable like I would imagine a troll to be. And yesterday I saw this even more as she ran around the store barking orders at people. She just kept coming over to the deli to check on us and would yell at me to do other things, which weren't even necessary. She had Tortilla, at one point in time, dust mopping the floor in part of the store (not in the deli). She had me wiping down all the glass on the outside of the deli, which is normally done anyway, but she made sure I did it all and pointed out every last fingerprint she saw. *rolls eyes* And she had the balls to yell at me about how bad the display looked where we put the rotisserie chickens. I went out there to go wipe it out and saw that the "badness" she was talking about was a spot of something (probably juice from a chicken) like the size of a quarter. OMG! It's the end of the world as we know it!! Yeah, I get it--cleanliness is a necessity. Seriously though, it's a bit much when she's looking for shit to yell about, you know?
On the plus side, I didn't yell at any of our like one or two customers. And this crazy old lady who comes in and wants her ham cut so thin you can see through it came in and was sad to see me working...And told me I'm her favorite. Ahhh...How sweet. *gags* LOL Seriously, it was nice. She came in for a pie, but was asking me where they'd moved them to. Also, I decided that running through the store with the turkey we cooked for the crew and calling out, "Turkey! Come get your turkey!" while pushing it on a cart was probably not a good idea...Even though it was tempting. I figured I'd get written up or something...*grins* Perhaps on Christmas Eve I'll try that...And yes, I got turkey! That's all I wanted! No, not the shit from work. That didn't even smell good. I made it to Phoenix's mom's house at like 6:30 or so and warmed up a plate of food. Oh man, it was so good!!! I LOVE TURKEY!! And really, when else do people cook it? It's like Christmas and Thanksgiving are the only times I get it and I love it so much. So yeah...And I got a piece of pecan pie, which was good too.
We braved the sales this morning at Walmart. You know, there's just something not right about rolling out of bed at 4am to go shopping...We went with Phoenix's sister who was getting a TV and a laptop. We got the TV, but not the laptop. As for Phoenix and I, we got a Tom-Tom for us and some other gifts for people. We also bought ourselves a Wii game, even though we haven't actually bought the Wii yet...LOL Our Christmas list has Wii games on it too, yet we don't know when we're going to buy it...But we know we'll get one...eventually. I know, we're dorks.
Anyway, I hope everyone had a great holiday. I am thankful for the great people I have in my life (Phoenix, family, friends, etc...). I'm also thankful that I have a job, but it's not a job I like or feel I belong at, which is why it makes me so cranky. I apologize for my crankiness, but I'm sure you guys can feel for me...Not to mention, whereas Phoenix's family is like family to me now, I still miss my family. I don't get to see them often and it sucks, especially at the holidays. So, yeah...That's it for me. I have to get ready for work.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Lord help the fool...
Who dares to shop at my deli tomorrow! Oh yeah, that's a threat!
So, originally, I was scheduled to work, alone, in the deli tomorrow from 3-9:30pm, which pissed me off. Never mind the fact that I can't wash the dishes because of the skin-eating soap they insist on using, but it's just not fair for me to have to work, alone, in the deli for 6 1/2 hours on the holiday. They could've split up the shifts and made everyone work a couple of hours, you know? Then at least people would get time with their families too...And by people, I mean me...And by family, I mean Phoenix's family, which I consider to be like my family too...I spend enough time with them, you know? Anyway, so yeah...I know, I'm selfish, blah, blah, blah. It's ridiculous! Plus, since I haven't been there for 90 days yet, I won't get holiday pay. Nice, huh? *curses loudly* Idiots.
Then, things were looking up. When I mentioned my inability to do the dishes, they said, "Oh, Tortilla can work with you." Not exactly what I was looking for, but okay...Then they said, "We'll close the deli at like 6." Cool. Things were looking better. Then they said, "You know what, Heather? It's not going to be busy. We don't need both of you here. Tortilla can do it alone." Fabulous!! Now I will at least get to be with Phoenix's family even though it sucks I can't see my own family, but whatever. So, I checked my schedule at work and nothing has been changed on it!! And they were saying to other workers that they need two of us working at night to cook the dinner for the employees! WTF!? Oh, I'm going to cook dinner for the fuckers I work with!? Like hell I am! I'm not cooking for my family and friends, so why in the hell would I cook for them!? *grits teeth* They're idiots. So, now, it seems I'm supposed to go in, you know, to cook for them.
Then the real kicker is that another manager said that the deli isn't closing early. Oh yeah? Wanna bet on that? Fine. I'll go to work tomorrow. I'll clean the deli like I do each night. I'll do everything I'm supposed to, but I'm not going to do it with a smile on my face. And so help the *censored, censored, censored* fool who shows up at the deli for hot food or sliced deli meat...I will tear them a new one. Why, you ask? Because if no one went out shopping on Thanksgiving Day, then no stores would be open!! But the problem is that one anti-family mother-flippin' idiot once thought, "Oh, I'll just stay open all day and see if anyone comes." So then some idiot, on his way home from Gramma's house, saw the light on and stopped for some more beer to drink and the owner of that shop was like, "AH-HA! A customer!! I should always stay open!" Then he told his other anti-family mother-flippin' idiot friends who also owned businesses and so now all these stupid places want to stay open!! It's ridiculous! Screw 'em all, I say! And if you think I'm kidding about talking smack tomorrow, you just wait and see!! I already talked smack to a customer last night who came in to order a veggie tray. She was all, "You guys will be here on Thursday, right?" I said, "All day long." She said, "Oh please, honey, I have to work too. I'll pick up the tray at 2 that afternoon on my way home from work." I replied, "Yes, well, at least you're off at 2. I work 3-9:30." She just looked at me with nothing to say...Why? Because she realized what a dumbass she was! Getting off work at 2pm, in time for your Thanksgiving meal, is not the same as working through the time that all of America eats!
I'm just so pissed off about all of this...It doesn't help that now they are seriously screwing with my days off and I'll miss Phoenix's whole family's Thanksgiving on this Sunday too because they've decided that I don't get Sundays off anymore...Not to mention, I have a ticket to go see the Cardinal play the Vikings in two weeks and I'm scheduled to work then too. I work for the devil! I'm going to go talk to the store manager next time I see him and tell him this isn't working. I think it's the assistant manager, Smokey, whose playing God with my schedule just because I refuse to be her bitch and come running every time she calls me. I hate my job...So, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I will not be wishing people well tomorrow, so take it today. *grins* Tomorrow, I shall unleash the wrath that is Heather!! Bwahahaha--*chokes on piece of gum*
PS: I'm not rereading and editing this, so I hopes it's okay...
So, originally, I was scheduled to work, alone, in the deli tomorrow from 3-9:30pm, which pissed me off. Never mind the fact that I can't wash the dishes because of the skin-eating soap they insist on using, but it's just not fair for me to have to work, alone, in the deli for 6 1/2 hours on the holiday. They could've split up the shifts and made everyone work a couple of hours, you know? Then at least people would get time with their families too...And by people, I mean me...And by family, I mean Phoenix's family, which I consider to be like my family too...I spend enough time with them, you know? Anyway, so yeah...I know, I'm selfish, blah, blah, blah. It's ridiculous! Plus, since I haven't been there for 90 days yet, I won't get holiday pay. Nice, huh? *curses loudly* Idiots.
Then, things were looking up. When I mentioned my inability to do the dishes, they said, "Oh, Tortilla can work with you." Not exactly what I was looking for, but okay...Then they said, "We'll close the deli at like 6." Cool. Things were looking better. Then they said, "You know what, Heather? It's not going to be busy. We don't need both of you here. Tortilla can do it alone." Fabulous!! Now I will at least get to be with Phoenix's family even though it sucks I can't see my own family, but whatever. So, I checked my schedule at work and nothing has been changed on it!! And they were saying to other workers that they need two of us working at night to cook the dinner for the employees! WTF!? Oh, I'm going to cook dinner for the fuckers I work with!? Like hell I am! I'm not cooking for my family and friends, so why in the hell would I cook for them!? *grits teeth* They're idiots. So, now, it seems I'm supposed to go in, you know, to cook for them.
Then the real kicker is that another manager said that the deli isn't closing early. Oh yeah? Wanna bet on that? Fine. I'll go to work tomorrow. I'll clean the deli like I do each night. I'll do everything I'm supposed to, but I'm not going to do it with a smile on my face. And so help the *censored, censored, censored* fool who shows up at the deli for hot food or sliced deli meat...I will tear them a new one. Why, you ask? Because if no one went out shopping on Thanksgiving Day, then no stores would be open!! But the problem is that one anti-family mother-flippin' idiot once thought, "Oh, I'll just stay open all day and see if anyone comes." So then some idiot, on his way home from Gramma's house, saw the light on and stopped for some more beer to drink and the owner of that shop was like, "AH-HA! A customer!! I should always stay open!" Then he told his other anti-family mother-flippin' idiot friends who also owned businesses and so now all these stupid places want to stay open!! It's ridiculous! Screw 'em all, I say! And if you think I'm kidding about talking smack tomorrow, you just wait and see!! I already talked smack to a customer last night who came in to order a veggie tray. She was all, "You guys will be here on Thursday, right?" I said, "All day long." She said, "Oh please, honey, I have to work too. I'll pick up the tray at 2 that afternoon on my way home from work." I replied, "Yes, well, at least you're off at 2. I work 3-9:30." She just looked at me with nothing to say...Why? Because she realized what a dumbass she was! Getting off work at 2pm, in time for your Thanksgiving meal, is not the same as working through the time that all of America eats!
I'm just so pissed off about all of this...It doesn't help that now they are seriously screwing with my days off and I'll miss Phoenix's whole family's Thanksgiving on this Sunday too because they've decided that I don't get Sundays off anymore...Not to mention, I have a ticket to go see the Cardinal play the Vikings in two weeks and I'm scheduled to work then too. I work for the devil! I'm going to go talk to the store manager next time I see him and tell him this isn't working. I think it's the assistant manager, Smokey, whose playing God with my schedule just because I refuse to be her bitch and come running every time she calls me. I hate my job...So, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I will not be wishing people well tomorrow, so take it today. *grins* Tomorrow, I shall unleash the wrath that is Heather!! Bwahahaha--*chokes on piece of gum*
PS: I'm not rereading and editing this, so I hopes it's okay...
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Sedona Trip
Okay, all, I have finally gotten all the pictures in order from the Sedona trip. I have no idea what's wrong with my picture editing program, but it totally scrambled the order of the pictures, so it took forever to put them in order. I did it though, so I will include it at the end of this blog.
Okay, Sedona was freakin' awesome! I want to go back again and walk around more and explore more. It was so beautiful. I'm a nature lover...Well, as much as I can be since I only use real bathrooms (No peeing in the bushes for me!), like the comforts of sleeping in a bed, and consider it a "hike" when I have to park really far away from the store. LOL Just kidding!! Kind of...I do love nature, but I don't necessarily want to be all up in it all the time, but I love seeing the beautiful scenery...Make sense? Probably not, but hey, whatever. Moving on...So, Sedona was gorgeous. I wish we had a better camera so we could've captured the many vivid colors we saw in the rocks and the trees. I saw a man on the side of this little side road taking pictures with this amazing camera that looked like the type that still used real film...I was tempted to run him over and take the camera, but Karma's a bitch and I didn't want to later get ran over and have my camera stolen because of what I had done...
We went to a little old ghost town about thirty minutes from Sedona called, Jerome. It was this little mountain town at like 5,500 feet. Very cool place. They had some amazing artwork...And now that I think about it, I have pictures on my phone that I didn't include! DAMN! Oh well, I'll post them later. (I couldn't take real pictures because it's "art", you know? Like I'm going to come home and blow my own glass vases...Idiots. The only thing I blow is--Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter! I was going to say bubbles!! And don't ask who bubbles is! *shifty eyes*) Okay, so we explored the town for a while and saw cool stuff, which is in my photo montage. Five minutes in that mining town and I was busting out old 8-tracks of the Carpenters and wearing cowboy hats...No really. *straight face*
The other big event of our time there was sitting through a time share presentation. Of course, we didn't have to because Phoenix's dad owns enough time share to take his family of 900 children and grandchildren on cool trips to places like Hawaii and well, like anywhere. So, yeah, we don't need to buy our own. We sat through it though to get the $75 Visa gift card and a free 3-day/2-night stay at their resorts in Tahoe, Vegas, Orlando, Sedona, or like two other places. Hell yeah, we'll take the free gifts! So, we listened to this woman talk and talk and talk...And they wouldn't give up. They said only 90-minutes, but we were there for longer than that. In the end, we walked away without buying a thing, but we got our free stuff and a couple of free sodas and snacks while we were there. LOL Hey, I'm a Jew! My grandma would be proud of me to get free stuff like that!!
So, yeah, the trip was cool. It sucks being in tourist towns though because everything is more expensive. Our first night there we went to the store to buy a few groceries for breakfast and such so we didn't have to eat out the whole time, you know? So, at Safeway they had steak for $10 a pound. Say what!? There was a package of two other steaks for over $30. I was like, "OH HELL NO!" I couldn't believe it. We went to a couple of restaurants on Sunday night for dinner and ended up a pizza place because the steakhouses were outrageous. I don't pay $35 for sirloin steak...*rolls eyes* So, at this pizza place, they had gourmet pizzas. I was so excited. We got a meaty pizza, which was good, but our waiter was a moron. I ordered an iced tea with no lemon. He brought it with lemon and then looked at me as he asked, "Oh. You didn't want lemon, did you?" I said, "No. It's fine." He then took the lemon off my glass right there at the table and walked off with it. He might as well have put his fingers in my glass, you know? It was just so rude and awkward. He returned a moment later and asked, "Did you want a new tea?" I said it was fine, but he must've seen the look of horror on my face. I don't think I've ever taken a lemon off a customers glass before like that in front of them. Honestly though, he was a bad waiter...Still, we tipped him because he did bring us our food....Perhaps I was just put off by his weird long hair pulled back in a ponytail. Who the hell does he think he is, Fabio?
All in all, the trip was a wonderful get away from reality. We are now looking into doing other small trips around here to explore...I'm looking forward to it! And without further ado...Here's my trip in pictures...
I took a moment to upload the other pictures from my phone...I saw these things and thought they were so cool, but I'm not rich, so I couldn't get any...
Okay, Sedona was freakin' awesome! I want to go back again and walk around more and explore more. It was so beautiful. I'm a nature lover...Well, as much as I can be since I only use real bathrooms (No peeing in the bushes for me!), like the comforts of sleeping in a bed, and consider it a "hike" when I have to park really far away from the store. LOL Just kidding!! Kind of...I do love nature, but I don't necessarily want to be all up in it all the time, but I love seeing the beautiful scenery...Make sense? Probably not, but hey, whatever. Moving on...So, Sedona was gorgeous. I wish we had a better camera so we could've captured the many vivid colors we saw in the rocks and the trees. I saw a man on the side of this little side road taking pictures with this amazing camera that looked like the type that still used real film...I was tempted to run him over and take the camera, but Karma's a bitch and I didn't want to later get ran over and have my camera stolen because of what I had done...
We went to a little old ghost town about thirty minutes from Sedona called, Jerome. It was this little mountain town at like 5,500 feet. Very cool place. They had some amazing artwork...And now that I think about it, I have pictures on my phone that I didn't include! DAMN! Oh well, I'll post them later. (I couldn't take real pictures because it's "art", you know? Like I'm going to come home and blow my own glass vases...Idiots. The only thing I blow is--Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter! I was going to say bubbles!! And don't ask who bubbles is! *shifty eyes*) Okay, so we explored the town for a while and saw cool stuff, which is in my photo montage. Five minutes in that mining town and I was busting out old 8-tracks of the Carpenters and wearing cowboy hats...No really. *straight face*
The other big event of our time there was sitting through a time share presentation. Of course, we didn't have to because Phoenix's dad owns enough time share to take his family of 900 children and grandchildren on cool trips to places like Hawaii and well, like anywhere. So, yeah, we don't need to buy our own. We sat through it though to get the $75 Visa gift card and a free 3-day/2-night stay at their resorts in Tahoe, Vegas, Orlando, Sedona, or like two other places. Hell yeah, we'll take the free gifts! So, we listened to this woman talk and talk and talk...And they wouldn't give up. They said only 90-minutes, but we were there for longer than that. In the end, we walked away without buying a thing, but we got our free stuff and a couple of free sodas and snacks while we were there. LOL Hey, I'm a Jew! My grandma would be proud of me to get free stuff like that!!
So, yeah, the trip was cool. It sucks being in tourist towns though because everything is more expensive. Our first night there we went to the store to buy a few groceries for breakfast and such so we didn't have to eat out the whole time, you know? So, at Safeway they had steak for $10 a pound. Say what!? There was a package of two other steaks for over $30. I was like, "OH HELL NO!" I couldn't believe it. We went to a couple of restaurants on Sunday night for dinner and ended up a pizza place because the steakhouses were outrageous. I don't pay $35 for sirloin steak...*rolls eyes* So, at this pizza place, they had gourmet pizzas. I was so excited. We got a meaty pizza, which was good, but our waiter was a moron. I ordered an iced tea with no lemon. He brought it with lemon and then looked at me as he asked, "Oh. You didn't want lemon, did you?" I said, "No. It's fine." He then took the lemon off my glass right there at the table and walked off with it. He might as well have put his fingers in my glass, you know? It was just so rude and awkward. He returned a moment later and asked, "Did you want a new tea?" I said it was fine, but he must've seen the look of horror on my face. I don't think I've ever taken a lemon off a customers glass before like that in front of them. Honestly though, he was a bad waiter...Still, we tipped him because he did bring us our food....Perhaps I was just put off by his weird long hair pulled back in a ponytail. Who the hell does he think he is, Fabio?
All in all, the trip was a wonderful get away from reality. We are now looking into doing other small trips around here to explore...I'm looking forward to it! And without further ado...Here's my trip in pictures...
I took a moment to upload the other pictures from my phone...I saw these things and thought they were so cool, but I'm not rich, so I couldn't get any...
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
It's been a while...
Yes, so I know that I owe you guys a few blogs...I have some funny pictures from the cancer walk I want to share, but I also have some great pictures from Sedona this past weekend. I just went to start putting the pictures together into the movie maker thing and you know what? Of course you don't...Wait for me to tell you! Rude. Anyway, so I was going to put them together and they're all mixed up!! Like the pictures from the beginning of our trip are shown at the end, which doesn't work. I started to move them, but it's very time consuming and I have to go to work shortly. I will finish it tonight when I get home and post it. So, look for it tomorrow.
Since I'm here and all, I thought I could share a couple of things with you...You know, things I'm not supposed to. Yes, that's right--Classified information! No, I'm not sharing anymore secrets from Walmart, but I could...*considers this* No, let's move along...
So, secret number one...Last week, I can't remember what night it was, I was laying in bed with Phoenix talking before we went to sleep. Anyway, so we're laying there and she was being silly and then suddenly burst into song, singing, "We could make our own musical!" That's what she sang. I was like, "Umm...What?" Apparently, because I love musicals and think life would be more interesting if everyone danced and sang (sung? singed? lol This is awkward...), Phoenix feels the need to mock me...every chance she gets...seriously. *straight face* So, she sings the line again and then says, "Go!" As if I know the next line...I don't know the next line. It was like 12:30 am and I'm tired. Singing is not what I'm thinking of as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep! She then gets up to go to the bathroom one last time and keeps singing. "We could make our musical! Where all our dreams comes true!" I sang back, "Oh yeah?" She sang, "We'll make all our dreams come true!" And she used Jazz hands, which she made fun of me for using when I belted out, "California here I come" as we drove across the CA/AZ border last time we went out there...She thought it was strange that I sang as though I were on Broadway, with hand gestures and loud singing...Anyway, the other night, the homemade musical only got worse after that, so we'll skip the rest of the corny lyrics...But it made me realize something...Phoenix is a big freakin' weirdo. I'm not though...*shifty eyes*
Dang it...I cannot remember what the other thing was I said I was going to put in here, much to her horror. Well, there was one thing, but I was kidding about putting it in here...Anyway, I suppose it all comes down to this-- Phoenix is weird. Bwahahahaha!!
Speaking of Phoenix, it was one and a half years ago today that we decided to get together! Crazy, huh? We've come a long way...And, in about a month, it'll be one year since I quit smoking. Really crazy, huh? We had a discussion about my not smoking anymore the other day as we drove home from Sedona. Well, that and my not drinking as much soda anymore either. I pointed out that there was a time when had you said, "Starbucks, Pepsi, Marlboros, and Books" people would've said, "HEATHER!" Hell, even Pepsi and Marlboros...I was never without either. Now, I don't smoke at all and I've cut way back on the soda. I find it's easier to cut back if I don't keep the stuff in the house. Otherwise, I'll grab for it, but I've even gotten better about that. It's weird how things can change so much and you don't even think about it...
On the other hand, the giving up of smoking and excessive amounts of soda are good for my health. I went to the doctor the other day for a follow-up on my labs. I found out that my blood sugar was a little elevated, which the doctor warned is more or less pre-diabetic. Fuck! So, yeah, I'm cutting back on this shit and going to try to lose weight because I don't want to be diabetic!! My protein levels are a little low, but nothing bad. My thyroid is really underactive, which is why the doctor has now doubled my dosage of the thyroid meds. I go in for labs again in a few weeks. She think she'll have to raise my dosage again. We'll see. On the plus side of everything, and really, the only good thing about the labs, was my cholesterol. Go away, Phoenix. I know, you don't care and you don't want to hear it. *rolls eyes* Seriously though, my cholesterol was 136. Hello! That's fucking awesome right there!! I am considered like deathly overweight, but I have good cholesterol! I think that just goes to show that I'm not eating this crazy diet of fattening foods and crap like the doctor envisioned. Even she was surprised. Haha! Okay, that's it...You can read again, Phoenix. So, yeah, I just need to lose weight and start working out and perhaps I'll get healthier...We'll see. I just wish my schedule wasn't so funky...It'd be easier to work out then...
Well, folks, that's it for me. I need to get ready for work. BAH!!! Stupid Walmart. And stupid Walmart shoppers. For the record, it's not okay to go shopping in pj pants ALL THE TIME!! Yesterday, just from what I saw at the deli counter and walking back to clock in/out, I saw at least 10 people in pj pants. WTF? Even men!! It's so gross.
Since I'm here and all, I thought I could share a couple of things with you...You know, things I'm not supposed to. Yes, that's right--Classified information! No, I'm not sharing anymore secrets from Walmart, but I could...*considers this* No, let's move along...
So, secret number one...Last week, I can't remember what night it was, I was laying in bed with Phoenix talking before we went to sleep. Anyway, so we're laying there and she was being silly and then suddenly burst into song, singing, "We could make our own musical!" That's what she sang. I was like, "Umm...What?" Apparently, because I love musicals and think life would be more interesting if everyone danced and sang (sung? singed? lol This is awkward...), Phoenix feels the need to mock me...every chance she gets...seriously. *straight face* So, she sings the line again and then says, "Go!" As if I know the next line...I don't know the next line. It was like 12:30 am and I'm tired. Singing is not what I'm thinking of as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep! She then gets up to go to the bathroom one last time and keeps singing. "We could make our musical! Where all our dreams comes true!" I sang back, "Oh yeah?" She sang, "We'll make all our dreams come true!" And she used Jazz hands, which she made fun of me for using when I belted out, "California here I come" as we drove across the CA/AZ border last time we went out there...She thought it was strange that I sang as though I were on Broadway, with hand gestures and loud singing...Anyway, the other night, the homemade musical only got worse after that, so we'll skip the rest of the corny lyrics...But it made me realize something...Phoenix is a big freakin' weirdo. I'm not though...*shifty eyes*
Dang it...I cannot remember what the other thing was I said I was going to put in here, much to her horror. Well, there was one thing, but I was kidding about putting it in here...Anyway, I suppose it all comes down to this-- Phoenix is weird. Bwahahahaha!!
Speaking of Phoenix, it was one and a half years ago today that we decided to get together! Crazy, huh? We've come a long way...And, in about a month, it'll be one year since I quit smoking. Really crazy, huh? We had a discussion about my not smoking anymore the other day as we drove home from Sedona. Well, that and my not drinking as much soda anymore either. I pointed out that there was a time when had you said, "Starbucks, Pepsi, Marlboros, and Books" people would've said, "HEATHER!" Hell, even Pepsi and Marlboros...I was never without either. Now, I don't smoke at all and I've cut way back on the soda. I find it's easier to cut back if I don't keep the stuff in the house. Otherwise, I'll grab for it, but I've even gotten better about that. It's weird how things can change so much and you don't even think about it...
On the other hand, the giving up of smoking and excessive amounts of soda are good for my health. I went to the doctor the other day for a follow-up on my labs. I found out that my blood sugar was a little elevated, which the doctor warned is more or less pre-diabetic. Fuck! So, yeah, I'm cutting back on this shit and going to try to lose weight because I don't want to be diabetic!! My protein levels are a little low, but nothing bad. My thyroid is really underactive, which is why the doctor has now doubled my dosage of the thyroid meds. I go in for labs again in a few weeks. She think she'll have to raise my dosage again. We'll see. On the plus side of everything, and really, the only good thing about the labs, was my cholesterol. Go away, Phoenix. I know, you don't care and you don't want to hear it. *rolls eyes* Seriously though, my cholesterol was 136. Hello! That's fucking awesome right there!! I am considered like deathly overweight, but I have good cholesterol! I think that just goes to show that I'm not eating this crazy diet of fattening foods and crap like the doctor envisioned. Even she was surprised. Haha! Okay, that's it...You can read again, Phoenix. So, yeah, I just need to lose weight and start working out and perhaps I'll get healthier...We'll see. I just wish my schedule wasn't so funky...It'd be easier to work out then...
Well, folks, that's it for me. I need to get ready for work. BAH!!! Stupid Walmart. And stupid Walmart shoppers. For the record, it's not okay to go shopping in pj pants ALL THE TIME!! Yesterday, just from what I saw at the deli counter and walking back to clock in/out, I saw at least 10 people in pj pants. WTF? Even men!! It's so gross.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Complete and utter crap!
Yesterday I went into work curious to find where they are going to put me. Here's my dilemma- If I leave the deli, I will get a $2 an hour pay cut (or right around there), which sucks. On the plus side, if I move away from the deli, I won't be worked like a slave every night, unless they make me doing stocking, which would probably suck too. Whatever. So, I got to work and asked the deli manager dude about it and he said, "They don't know what to do with you." Yeah, me neither...*rolls eyes* He then brings over two pairs of yellow gloves for me and Tortilla to try on and use for washing the dishes. These would probably work if I was using the small sink in my apartment for washing dishes. However, we have industrial-sized sinks for our huge pans and such, so the gloves that come up to just above my wrists don't do much to protect me from the acid-like soap. I didn't even bother trying them. Tortilla did, but she had to keep draining water out of the sink to make sure not to get the water on her arms. Hmmm...What about water splashing? I'm sure there are perfect people out there who don't splash water when they wash dishes, but I am not one of them.
Later, while Tortilla was on her break, one of the other managers came by and asked if I had used the gloves. I said no because they aren't that long and I'm afraid of getting the soap on my arms too. Apparently, they aren't getting how irritated my skin becomes from this shit. She said, "Oh, well, you should try them. I'm ordering longer ones too; they'll go to your elbow." *looks unconvinced* I also asked her about this weekend since we're going to Sedona and I asked for it off since I had these plans before I started working there; they scheduled me to work. She said, "Oh, I'll call Smokey and ask her." That was the end of it. Seriously, grow some balls and make a decision!
I'll get to the good stuff in a moment, but first, I would like to share some serious BS with all of you...Our hose broke out of nowhere last week, like when we turned it on, water sprayed from the wall and barely out of the hose. So, we told the managers; they blew it off because they're not the ones trying to hose down the floor, now are they? So, we made do with it. Yesterday, we told the deli manager...He said, "Oh yeah. I took a part off it and forgot to put it back." Sure enough, he fixed it in a matter of like 30 seconds. WTF!? Why would you disassemble our hose!? Then we said that the soap won't come out. He said, "No, it's fine." He didn't even check it. BAH! Also, our pump is broken to filter the fryers, so we can't use the "hose" to rinse down the fryers with the oil. Instead, we use a metal bowl to ladel oil to rinse down the crumbs. Nice, huh? A man saw me last night and said, "Honey, you're going to burn yourself!" I said I knew that, but it was the only way; his response was tell them to do it themselves. I laughed, but seriously, they'd just write me up, you know? Nothing quite like scooping hot oil in a metal bowl though. Your fingers will be on fire in no time. While not fixing our equipment and being jerks in general, they also made a woman who works there on weekends put in her two weeks notice. Apparently, they told her she had to be available all the time and not just at nights on weekends...So, she said, "I quit." Can't say as I blame her, you know?
Now, for the icing on the cake. Last night they posted the schedule for Thanksgiving. I had no idea if we were going to be open all day or what. Apparently, we are. We're only closed on Christmas Day. Good thing it's a family-oriented company, huh? So, whatever. I knew I was going to have to work, so I prepared myself and looked. I work 3-9:30...Alone. *stream of curse words* Seriously? Not only do I have to miss every last bit of freakin' Thanksgiving, but I'm going to do it by myself??? There'll be no one to cover me if I have to go to the bathroom or take a break. I'm supposed to do the dishes even though their skin-dissolving soap kills my hands. FUCK WALMART! Seriously, fuck them. I am so done with being treated like crap. They could've scheduled us in shorter shifts so that no one had to completely miss their meal. They could've done something, but nooooooooooooo!! They have to be ass monkeys. Apparently, they have yet to learn that lesson about keeping employees happy. You keep them happy, they work harder and better for you. But piss them off and all hell will break loose...So, not only will I not be with my California family for the holiday, but I won't even be with my Arizona family either...*growls*
So, in the spirit of being a complete ass monkey, please allow me to warn you of a few things...I cannot speak for all grocery stores, but I'm sure they have similar practices...Do not buy the garlic bread prepared in the deli. I'll tell you right now that it's very seldom fresh bread. And more often than not, it's old bread. Do not buy the sandwiches prepared in the deli either. The bread is usually fresh as it's sent to us frozen, but sometimes they tell us to use the French bread that's old. Plus, we make the sandwiches in huge batches, so those first sandwiches sit out on the "Cart of Sandwiches" for a long time before being put back in the fridge. The same thing happens when they have to put pricetags on them before putting them out for sale. Trust me, you don't want these things because you might get sick since they aren't kept at a constant temperature all that often. Don't buy stuff from the deli hot case unless you see us putting it in there fresh. More times than not, when I get to work, the case is full of food from God only knows when and I'll serve that all night long. Mmm...Nothing quite like seven-hour old chicken. Oh, and we found a dead cockroach in our walk-in fridge. Where there's one, there's more. In short, don't shop at my store...
Later, while Tortilla was on her break, one of the other managers came by and asked if I had used the gloves. I said no because they aren't that long and I'm afraid of getting the soap on my arms too. Apparently, they aren't getting how irritated my skin becomes from this shit. She said, "Oh, well, you should try them. I'm ordering longer ones too; they'll go to your elbow." *looks unconvinced* I also asked her about this weekend since we're going to Sedona and I asked for it off since I had these plans before I started working there; they scheduled me to work. She said, "Oh, I'll call Smokey and ask her." That was the end of it. Seriously, grow some balls and make a decision!
I'll get to the good stuff in a moment, but first, I would like to share some serious BS with all of you...Our hose broke out of nowhere last week, like when we turned it on, water sprayed from the wall and barely out of the hose. So, we told the managers; they blew it off because they're not the ones trying to hose down the floor, now are they? So, we made do with it. Yesterday, we told the deli manager...He said, "Oh yeah. I took a part off it and forgot to put it back." Sure enough, he fixed it in a matter of like 30 seconds. WTF!? Why would you disassemble our hose!? Then we said that the soap won't come out. He said, "No, it's fine." He didn't even check it. BAH! Also, our pump is broken to filter the fryers, so we can't use the "hose" to rinse down the fryers with the oil. Instead, we use a metal bowl to ladel oil to rinse down the crumbs. Nice, huh? A man saw me last night and said, "Honey, you're going to burn yourself!" I said I knew that, but it was the only way; his response was tell them to do it themselves. I laughed, but seriously, they'd just write me up, you know? Nothing quite like scooping hot oil in a metal bowl though. Your fingers will be on fire in no time. While not fixing our equipment and being jerks in general, they also made a woman who works there on weekends put in her two weeks notice. Apparently, they told her she had to be available all the time and not just at nights on weekends...So, she said, "I quit." Can't say as I blame her, you know?
Now, for the icing on the cake. Last night they posted the schedule for Thanksgiving. I had no idea if we were going to be open all day or what. Apparently, we are. We're only closed on Christmas Day. Good thing it's a family-oriented company, huh? So, whatever. I knew I was going to have to work, so I prepared myself and looked. I work 3-9:30...Alone. *stream of curse words* Seriously? Not only do I have to miss every last bit of freakin' Thanksgiving, but I'm going to do it by myself??? There'll be no one to cover me if I have to go to the bathroom or take a break. I'm supposed to do the dishes even though their skin-dissolving soap kills my hands. FUCK WALMART! Seriously, fuck them. I am so done with being treated like crap. They could've scheduled us in shorter shifts so that no one had to completely miss their meal. They could've done something, but nooooooooooooo!! They have to be ass monkeys. Apparently, they have yet to learn that lesson about keeping employees happy. You keep them happy, they work harder and better for you. But piss them off and all hell will break loose...So, not only will I not be with my California family for the holiday, but I won't even be with my Arizona family either...*growls*
So, in the spirit of being a complete ass monkey, please allow me to warn you of a few things...I cannot speak for all grocery stores, but I'm sure they have similar practices...Do not buy the garlic bread prepared in the deli. I'll tell you right now that it's very seldom fresh bread. And more often than not, it's old bread. Do not buy the sandwiches prepared in the deli either. The bread is usually fresh as it's sent to us frozen, but sometimes they tell us to use the French bread that's old. Plus, we make the sandwiches in huge batches, so those first sandwiches sit out on the "Cart of Sandwiches" for a long time before being put back in the fridge. The same thing happens when they have to put pricetags on them before putting them out for sale. Trust me, you don't want these things because you might get sick since they aren't kept at a constant temperature all that often. Don't buy stuff from the deli hot case unless you see us putting it in there fresh. More times than not, when I get to work, the case is full of food from God only knows when and I'll serve that all night long. Mmm...Nothing quite like seven-hour old chicken. Oh, and we found a dead cockroach in our walk-in fridge. Where there's one, there's more. In short, don't shop at my store...
Saturday, November 7, 2009
What kind of vessel are you?
Last night I had to work, yet again, but this time Tortilla and I made wonderful time and got out at 9:33, which is better than our old record of 9:45! Anyway, before I was able to leave work, Phoenix texted me to tell me she needed (Yes, needed!) pickles and Tylenol PM...I know, could she have asked for a weirder combination? Well, yes she could...She could have asked for Ex-Lax, Baby Powder, Vaseline, a frozen pizza, and fresh corn on the cob, but that's not the point. So, I went through the store and picked up a giant container of those wonderful Claussen pickles (which are the best ones out there), Tylenol PM, and a two-liter of soda because we were getting pizza for dinner. As I go to get in line, my phone rings in my pocket. I had to stop, set everything down, and pull out my phone to answer, only to discover it was Phoenix who had mis-dialed me while trying to call her mom back. During this time, at least 3 people got into line in front of me! BAH! Finally, I made it to the registers and opted to get into the line where the customer service girls work because the one lady always gets a corn dog (or two if we have them) for her break, but she didn't come by that night, even though I had set aside two for her! I figured I would mention it because she was the one the night before who was like, "When I work, I should come by and tell you, so you can put them aside." I saw her, so I had set them aside. Anyway, I got in line and immediately some creeper says, "Good evening" or something to that effect. I turned around and said hi. (I was still in uniform, minus the name tag, thank God! But I figured I should be nice.) When I had turned to look at him, I immediately knew he was creepy. Okay, fine, he just looked creepy. He had too big glasses that looked like they were straight from 1983. Also, he had male-patterned baldness going on with his too long hair to lay down properly on his head, so it sort of stood up, but still wanted to be slicked back. His clothes were slightly too tight for his small frame, but still, he looked very neat and orderly with everything tucked in tightly and tie tied tightly. I found myself thinking that he was the sort of person who had every can in his pantry placed facing exactly the same way and the towels would be hung just so, you know? (Think of the husband in Sleeping with the Enemy.) Creeper for sure. Plus, it was 9:40 at night and all he had was a small container of yogurt. Who runs to Walmart for a container of yogurt??? He then asks how my night is going. I said it was all right to which he replied, "Mine too." Yeah, I didn't ask...He then asked me, "What kind of vessel are you?" I looked at him with a confused look and said, "Sir, I have no idea what you are talking about." He said, "Of course you don't. Are you a vessel of mercy or--" I have no idea what else he said because I couldn't hear anything above the screaming in my head...You know, the screaming thoughts of, "WTF!? Why did I talk to him at all!? Why did I have to stop and answer the damned phone!?" I kept looking forward to see if it was my turn. Finally, it was and I flung my stuff on the counter while Bible-man kept talking. I had no idea what to say and the woman working was asking how I was, etc. I answered her and finally looked back at the man to say, "Sir, I'm sorry, no offense, but it's been a very long day and I'm exhausted. All I want to do is go home and go to bed." He said, "Oh. Yeah, okay." Then he said something about God and, "Don't forget Jesus." It was such an odd statement, like it caught me off guard..."Don't forget Jesus." Hmm...Weirdo.
Upon coming home, I told Phoenix who rolled with laughter. Before I had gone to work, she had said that I was going to go to hell. Nice, huh? She was messing around with me...Although, I think she thinks I'm going to go to hell because I joke around about God too much. Eh, whatever. I figure if the Big Guy can mess with me and send weirdos to come talk to me whenever He wants, I can crack a few jokes at His expense...No? So, whatever. I then joked that if God is trying to send me a message (and let's face it, He's not), then he shouldn't use a creepy messenger. *grins* I also realized that I could've shut the guy up real quick had I simply turned to him in the middle of his speech about God and said, "I'm gay. Your God hates me." I need to remember to use that line more often...I bet it'd shut up those crazies...Either that or get them to try to "fix" me by sending me to a camp to take away my gayness...I always wanted to go to camp...
Today was the breast cancer walk in Tempe and we went. I didn't walk because my knees have been so bad lately and Phoenix didn't want me to hurt myself worse...Even though I was willing to. So, I sat with her niece, Goofy, and with Grumpy. (Grumpy is preggers and looks ready to pop!) It was cool to sit back and watch all the people...I'll post a blog later with pictures. When we got home though, there was a card on our front door from Christ Temple...Yes, a church. Really? Phoenix says, "It's a sign." I said, "No it's not. This is way too subtle. I want something less subtle." Watch...I'm going to be walking down the road one day and have a cross fall on me or something...*grins* I look forward to it; it'll make great blog material!!
Seriously though...What the hell??? So, I ask you, folks, what kind of vessels are you? I am a vessel of humor!! Bwahahaha!!
Upon coming home, I told Phoenix who rolled with laughter. Before I had gone to work, she had said that I was going to go to hell. Nice, huh? She was messing around with me...Although, I think she thinks I'm going to go to hell because I joke around about God too much. Eh, whatever. I figure if the Big Guy can mess with me and send weirdos to come talk to me whenever He wants, I can crack a few jokes at His expense...No? So, whatever. I then joked that if God is trying to send me a message (and let's face it, He's not), then he shouldn't use a creepy messenger. *grins* I also realized that I could've shut the guy up real quick had I simply turned to him in the middle of his speech about God and said, "I'm gay. Your God hates me." I need to remember to use that line more often...I bet it'd shut up those crazies...Either that or get them to try to "fix" me by sending me to a camp to take away my gayness...I always wanted to go to camp...
Today was the breast cancer walk in Tempe and we went. I didn't walk because my knees have been so bad lately and Phoenix didn't want me to hurt myself worse...Even though I was willing to. So, I sat with her niece, Goofy, and with Grumpy. (Grumpy is preggers and looks ready to pop!) It was cool to sit back and watch all the people...I'll post a blog later with pictures. When we got home though, there was a card on our front door from Christ Temple...Yes, a church. Really? Phoenix says, "It's a sign." I said, "No it's not. This is way too subtle. I want something less subtle." Watch...I'm going to be walking down the road one day and have a cross fall on me or something...*grins* I look forward to it; it'll make great blog material!!
Seriously though...What the hell??? So, I ask you, folks, what kind of vessels are you? I am a vessel of humor!! Bwahahaha!!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I feel funny...
And not "funny" as in get ready to laugh your asses off, but as in something's amiss. I started taking the thyroid medicine yesterday and I'm not sure what to make of it. I keep finding myself wondering if amongst all the other things going on I am also fighting off a cold or the flu (be that the bird flu, swine flu, monkey flu, elephant flu, cow flu, etc...) or something. Last week I started feeling sort of sick to my stomach, but never fully succumbed to it. I've also been feeling achy all over, which could or could not be a symptom of hypothyroidism. I feel yucky though, like I'm fighting off a flu and my body starts to give in, but then says, "NO! BACK OFF!!!" Then I feel a little better, but then the flu comes back and is like, "HERE'S JOOOOOONNNNYYY!!!" Oh shut up and just picture it, okay? So yeah, I'm not sure who's winning right now. On top of that, I started the blood pressure medication and the thyroid crap and I don't know if I'm coming or going...
Last night at work I started feeling really weird, like my heart felt as though it was going faster (not racing, but not its normal slow pace). I was also sweating...a lot. I know, it's gross, but it's so true. People who know me know I don't really sweat, even when working damned hard. So you ask what I was doing that I was sweating at work? Why bagging French bread, of course. Weird, huh? I got all nauseous too, but again, is it the medicine or a flu-ish bug? Hmm...By the end of the night, I was so tired that I felt as though I were trying to walk through molasses or sand or broken glass or something like that (Okay, I'm not Annie Lennox...I don't walk on broken glass.)...Like each step took so much effort.
Speaking of work, yesterday not long after getting to work, I told the assistant manager, we'll call her Smokey (she's totally a chain-smoker...Yes, I'm jealous of her.), that the hose for the floors is acting up again. She said, "Well, the guys from Kay Chemicals are supposed to be out sometime tonight or tomorrow. We'll tell them then." She totally blew me off though in how she said it, like walking away from me and such. I went back to the deli and told Tortilla, who laughed as I talked mad shit about Smokey. Just as I was finishing talking smack, I heard this on the loud speaker, "Attention all Walmart associates, will Heather from the deli please report to the office? Heather from the deli to the office." I nearly pissed my pants then and there. I spun around to look at Tortilla who wore my same expression of horror as she said, "OH MY GOD! THEY HEARD YOU!" I said, "No they didn't...It's just a coincidence..." Even I didn't believe the shit I was spouting. I walked back to the office as Tortilla still talked smack about how I was going to be fired. She loves working with me, I swear. So, I got to the back and saw Smokey outside the break room waving me to hurry. I walked into the break room and saw our store manager, ummm, I don't have a cool nickname for him because I rarely talk to him...So, we'll call him S&M for "Store Manager"...lol Anyway, so S&M greets me with a cheerful smile, "Hey Heather! How are you today?" I replied that I was fine and asked how he was. Then Smokey leads me to the office and says, "We have to talk to you about your job here." I scanned the office looking for a hint as to what she meant and saw only a bunch of paperwork, including a write up, but I couldn't see the name on it. I was like, "Fuck! I hate this place, but I NEED my job!!" I found that I understood the term I've read in books before about people's bowels turning to liquid. I realized I was panicking. I looked at Smokey, probably with horror on my face, as I asked, "Are you firing me?" She looked at me as though I was crazy and said, "No. But we need to talk. We'll wait for Joe though. He can explain it better." I then thought I was going to get written up because I had an attitude with a customer service woman who might be management, but I'm not sure. She had come over to the deli on Tuesday and copped an attitude with me and Tortilla because there was a line of people near the deli, 90% of whom were looking at all the stupid displays they keep putting up in front of the deli and who didn't want shit from us anyway. I don't appreciate being told how to do my job when I'm in the middle of doing it, you know? So, I'm like, "Shit, here we go...The repercussions of my actions..." Finally, S&M got his coffee to perfection and joined us. He said, "Okay, Heather, tell me about your allergic reaction to the soap in the deli..." My mind was racing...They couldn't fire me for an allergic reaction, right? I knew they couldn't, but I was doubting everything. I told him about the rash and how badly it itches. To my own ears, I sounded like I was about to break down crying or going to have an asthma attack or something. We discussed this for a few moments before he said, "We're going to have to move you. I can't knowingly leave you working in the deli because of your allergic reaction." I nodded and said I understood. He then offered morning shifts, but the Smokey had to speak up and say, "She would responsible for washing the pans she bakes on." He said, "Oh. Well, then she could do stocking for the deli and the meat wall." Again, Smokey started in, but he cut her off. Here's the thing...Smokey isn't my biggest fan right now because I don't want to be like Tortilla and work 2 weeks straight without a day off. I know, I'm such a bitch, huh? Anyway, it has been agreed that by today or tomorrow, I'll find out my fate...Phoenix is joking that I'll end up doing something I don't want, like being a cashier...I swear, the beep, beep, beep, beeping would drive me completely bonkers!! Yes, completely bonkers, not just half way there like Phoenix has done to me already...*grins*
Anyway, back to the whole not feeling right thing...I don't know what it is. I'm tempted to call the doctor, but I don't want to sound like an ass monkey. More or less, I am simply writing this in case I end up hospitalized and incapable of speech. At least someone could tell the doctors how I felt before it all...*laughs wildly* Sometimes I'm so freaking morbid, huh? LOL Whatever. I'm sure I just need to get used to the medicine.
In other news, I've lost about 15 pounds in the last few weeks. Trust me, if you saw me, you wouldn't know it. I asked Phoenix this morning, "If I've lost 15 pounds, where have I lost it from?" My clothes all fit the same. Of course, she poked me in the belly and then laughed. This is what sucks about being so fat...I can lose a turkey off my body and no one notices...Sad, huh? Yes, I said a turkey, as in a Thanksgiving turkey. Picture it! No, I haven't been dieting; I've just been working my ass off at work, which I swear is a workout! Even Bob and Jillian from the Biggest Loser would agree!! Okay, probably not, but whatever...
Last night at work I started feeling really weird, like my heart felt as though it was going faster (not racing, but not its normal slow pace). I was also sweating...a lot. I know, it's gross, but it's so true. People who know me know I don't really sweat, even when working damned hard. So you ask what I was doing that I was sweating at work? Why bagging French bread, of course. Weird, huh? I got all nauseous too, but again, is it the medicine or a flu-ish bug? Hmm...By the end of the night, I was so tired that I felt as though I were trying to walk through molasses or sand or broken glass or something like that (Okay, I'm not Annie Lennox...I don't walk on broken glass.)...Like each step took so much effort.
Speaking of work, yesterday not long after getting to work, I told the assistant manager, we'll call her Smokey (she's totally a chain-smoker...Yes, I'm jealous of her.), that the hose for the floors is acting up again. She said, "Well, the guys from Kay Chemicals are supposed to be out sometime tonight or tomorrow. We'll tell them then." She totally blew me off though in how she said it, like walking away from me and such. I went back to the deli and told Tortilla, who laughed as I talked mad shit about Smokey. Just as I was finishing talking smack, I heard this on the loud speaker, "Attention all Walmart associates, will Heather from the deli please report to the office? Heather from the deli to the office." I nearly pissed my pants then and there. I spun around to look at Tortilla who wore my same expression of horror as she said, "OH MY GOD! THEY HEARD YOU!" I said, "No they didn't...It's just a coincidence..." Even I didn't believe the shit I was spouting. I walked back to the office as Tortilla still talked smack about how I was going to be fired. She loves working with me, I swear. So, I got to the back and saw Smokey outside the break room waving me to hurry. I walked into the break room and saw our store manager, ummm, I don't have a cool nickname for him because I rarely talk to him...So, we'll call him S&M for "Store Manager"...lol Anyway, so S&M greets me with a cheerful smile, "Hey Heather! How are you today?" I replied that I was fine and asked how he was. Then Smokey leads me to the office and says, "We have to talk to you about your job here." I scanned the office looking for a hint as to what she meant and saw only a bunch of paperwork, including a write up, but I couldn't see the name on it. I was like, "Fuck! I hate this place, but I NEED my job!!" I found that I understood the term I've read in books before about people's bowels turning to liquid. I realized I was panicking. I looked at Smokey, probably with horror on my face, as I asked, "Are you firing me?" She looked at me as though I was crazy and said, "No. But we need to talk. We'll wait for Joe though. He can explain it better." I then thought I was going to get written up because I had an attitude with a customer service woman who might be management, but I'm not sure. She had come over to the deli on Tuesday and copped an attitude with me and Tortilla because there was a line of people near the deli, 90% of whom were looking at all the stupid displays they keep putting up in front of the deli and who didn't want shit from us anyway. I don't appreciate being told how to do my job when I'm in the middle of doing it, you know? So, I'm like, "Shit, here we go...The repercussions of my actions..." Finally, S&M got his coffee to perfection and joined us. He said, "Okay, Heather, tell me about your allergic reaction to the soap in the deli..." My mind was racing...They couldn't fire me for an allergic reaction, right? I knew they couldn't, but I was doubting everything. I told him about the rash and how badly it itches. To my own ears, I sounded like I was about to break down crying or going to have an asthma attack or something. We discussed this for a few moments before he said, "We're going to have to move you. I can't knowingly leave you working in the deli because of your allergic reaction." I nodded and said I understood. He then offered morning shifts, but the Smokey had to speak up and say, "She would responsible for washing the pans she bakes on." He said, "Oh. Well, then she could do stocking for the deli and the meat wall." Again, Smokey started in, but he cut her off. Here's the thing...Smokey isn't my biggest fan right now because I don't want to be like Tortilla and work 2 weeks straight without a day off. I know, I'm such a bitch, huh? Anyway, it has been agreed that by today or tomorrow, I'll find out my fate...Phoenix is joking that I'll end up doing something I don't want, like being a cashier...I swear, the beep, beep, beep, beeping would drive me completely bonkers!! Yes, completely bonkers, not just half way there like Phoenix has done to me already...*grins*
Anyway, back to the whole not feeling right thing...I don't know what it is. I'm tempted to call the doctor, but I don't want to sound like an ass monkey. More or less, I am simply writing this in case I end up hospitalized and incapable of speech. At least someone could tell the doctors how I felt before it all...*laughs wildly* Sometimes I'm so freaking morbid, huh? LOL Whatever. I'm sure I just need to get used to the medicine.
In other news, I've lost about 15 pounds in the last few weeks. Trust me, if you saw me, you wouldn't know it. I asked Phoenix this morning, "If I've lost 15 pounds, where have I lost it from?" My clothes all fit the same. Of course, she poked me in the belly and then laughed. This is what sucks about being so fat...I can lose a turkey off my body and no one notices...Sad, huh? Yes, I said a turkey, as in a Thanksgiving turkey. Picture it! No, I haven't been dieting; I've just been working my ass off at work, which I swear is a workout! Even Bob and Jillian from the Biggest Loser would agree!! Okay, probably not, but whatever...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
"We got back your labs results..." *drum roll please*
I got to work right on time today, but the other girl was running a few minutes late, which I believe is her routine...Phoenix would joke it's a Mexican thing to always be late...And Tortilla is Mexican...But that's not the point. Anyway, I was at work for like all of five minutes when my phone rang. I thought, "Dang it, Phoenix! You just missed the last chance to call me!" (She often calls me just before I go to work to tell me she loves me and to say she hopes I have a good day.) I looked at my phone and just before I was about to send it off to voicemail land, I saw it was my doctor's office calling...Hmmm...Weird. I decided to run to the back area by the dish washing sink where no camera can see me and answer it. "Hello?" I asked with trepidation. A cheerful sounding woman asked for Heather. I said I was she. I then got this whole rushed message that went a little something like this, "We got back your labs and your TSH levels are high, which means you have an underactive thyroid. The doctor wants you to start taking a medication to help with that. What pharmacy do you want me to call that into?" I told her which Walgreens I go to and she said she'd take care of it immediately so I could pick it up tonight. I then stopped her and asked, "Wait. What does this all mean? What does it mean to have an underactive thyroid?" She said, "Well, the thyroid releases hormones and such...Usually it affects your weight too. I could get the P.A. to come talk to you if you give me a moment." I had to decline because I was at work and Tortilla wasn't there yet. I said I would Google it and if I had questions, then I would call back in the morning. She agreed to those terms and promised to call in the prescription. I hung up and was like, "What the hell???"
So, I did what every girl does when she gets bad news...That's right, I walked across the store to the liquor section and got myself a beer. *grins* Okay, no, I didn't. I would've been fired for sure. Hey...What a good--JUST KIDDING! Okay, anyway, what I meant to say is that I called my mom. I couldn't call my girl at work and none of my friends really knew I went in for a physical, so it would take far too long to call and explain it all...My mom was like, "I have an underactive thyroid right now because the doctors lowered my hyperthyroidism to the point that I now have the opposite." (My mom has Grave's disease.) Also, my sister has an underactive thyroid. My mom said the medicine will help...I wondered though--How long had this been going on? And why in the hell did they have to call me while I was at work!? Don't they know that I don't have Google on my piece of shit cell phone that barely handles making phone calls and texts on a good day??? I felt lost...And so alone...Work is not the place to get news like this.
On the plus side, she wasn't all, "And by the way, you have Type II Diabetes and high cholesterol", so there is a good side to all, right? I mean, diabetes scares the crap out of me because I am a lover of ice cream...And cheesecake...And chocolate...And, well, you get the idea. Seriously, don't take my sugar away from me. I'm sure if they called for the high TSH levels, then they would've told me the other bad stuff too...Although, now I've probably jinxed myself.
This begs the question--What are the symptoms of hypothyroidism? Shouldn't I have known this was going on??? Well, there's sleepiness, irritability, depression, weight issues, constipation, dry rough skin, coarse hair, hair loss, forgetfulness, abnormal menstrual cycles, etc...I swear, as I read them I was like, "Okay, I have that one, but not that other one...Oh, and that...But not that..." These things are not linked together!! Never would I think that hair loss and constipation would go together and be symptoms of the same problem!! And no, those are not the ones I was checking off...*shifty eyes*
I spent my lunch break at work running to the pharmacy to get my medicine. I then waited, impatiently, for the pharmacist to explain it to me. Phoenix said it was silly to wait, but I wanted to make sure it wouldn't interact with the blood pressure medication. It won't, but I had to ask. This stupid guy though was more concerned about trying to figure out how to make a label print for something he messed up...Seriously? I'm standing in front of the guy, obviously in a hurry as I checked my phone seventy-five times in the ten minutes I was at the store. For the love of God, man, I'm on my lunch break!! He finally acknowledged me and said something like, "This is thyroid medication. Take it in the morning. It's the same routine as before." I looked at him and said, "I've never been on thyroid medication before." Of course this changed his tone slightly...Why would they assume I'd been on it before? Is that some kind of fat joke? Or is it because if I'm on thyroid medication I must've been taking it for a long, long time? What the hell??? Problems have to start somewhere, no? Anyway, he didn't tell me anything I couldn't have found out online. Idiot. He had a weird name too...It was like, "Jackass" or something like that. Just kidding. It was like, "Isolta" or something...Very weird name...And I couldn't place his accent. Apparently, pharmacists are no longer old white men with gray hair.
Yes, so, a thyroid problem. Hmmm...Does this mean I will have more energy now? Because I'm tired all the time. And I've always been one for napping and such. Does this mean that perhaps I might lose some weight? That would be freakin' fabulous!! I just don't know what to think right now...I swear, I turned 30 and I'm falling apart!! Perhaps I was falling apart before, but then I didn't have insurance to know it for sure; now I know...And it sort of sucks. It's scary, you know?
On a side note, Phoenix told me the cutest story the last night that totally made my day...Her nieces, Little Phoenix and Goofy, always want us to do crazy videos for youtube, but we haven't done any yet. One of the ones they want us to do is the Harry Potter Puppets one with the with catchy tune *sings, "Snape, Snape, Severius Snape"*, but Phoenix thought, a few weeks ago, that it would be more fun with our names instead of HP characters. (That's HP as in Harry Potter, not as in my initials or Hewlett Packard.) So, she tells the girls this and they start the song like this: "Heather, Heather, shifty-eyed Heather." Can I just tell you how much it warmed my heart that these girls know me so well that they know I write shifty shifty eyes??? I was just like, "Awwww...Really?" It was so cute. Of course, this doesn't trump the story about how Little Phoenix thought that my friend, whom I refer to as the Black Spy is not really black. Apparently, she saw the pictures of me giving her the bomb cake and was surprised to see she's not black. She explained to Phoenix that she had assumed that since I'm white, I'm the White Spy and since that's the case, then the Black Spy must be black. OMG!! I almost died laughing. The Black Spy thought this was fabulous when I told her the story via text message. She wrote back, "Tell her I'm black on the inside...You know, like how you're a Jew on the inside." Gotta love that Black Spy...*runs off to plot her demise* So, yeah, kids are awesome....*walks off singing, "Heather, Heather, shifty-eyed Heather..."*
So, I did what every girl does when she gets bad news...That's right, I walked across the store to the liquor section and got myself a beer. *grins* Okay, no, I didn't. I would've been fired for sure. Hey...What a good--JUST KIDDING! Okay, anyway, what I meant to say is that I called my mom. I couldn't call my girl at work and none of my friends really knew I went in for a physical, so it would take far too long to call and explain it all...My mom was like, "I have an underactive thyroid right now because the doctors lowered my hyperthyroidism to the point that I now have the opposite." (My mom has Grave's disease.) Also, my sister has an underactive thyroid. My mom said the medicine will help...I wondered though--How long had this been going on? And why in the hell did they have to call me while I was at work!? Don't they know that I don't have Google on my piece of shit cell phone that barely handles making phone calls and texts on a good day??? I felt lost...And so alone...Work is not the place to get news like this.
On the plus side, she wasn't all, "And by the way, you have Type II Diabetes and high cholesterol", so there is a good side to all, right? I mean, diabetes scares the crap out of me because I am a lover of ice cream...And cheesecake...And chocolate...And, well, you get the idea. Seriously, don't take my sugar away from me. I'm sure if they called for the high TSH levels, then they would've told me the other bad stuff too...Although, now I've probably jinxed myself.
This begs the question--What are the symptoms of hypothyroidism? Shouldn't I have known this was going on??? Well, there's sleepiness, irritability, depression, weight issues, constipation, dry rough skin, coarse hair, hair loss, forgetfulness, abnormal menstrual cycles, etc...I swear, as I read them I was like, "Okay, I have that one, but not that other one...Oh, and that...But not that..." These things are not linked together!! Never would I think that hair loss and constipation would go together and be symptoms of the same problem!! And no, those are not the ones I was checking off...*shifty eyes*
I spent my lunch break at work running to the pharmacy to get my medicine. I then waited, impatiently, for the pharmacist to explain it to me. Phoenix said it was silly to wait, but I wanted to make sure it wouldn't interact with the blood pressure medication. It won't, but I had to ask. This stupid guy though was more concerned about trying to figure out how to make a label print for something he messed up...Seriously? I'm standing in front of the guy, obviously in a hurry as I checked my phone seventy-five times in the ten minutes I was at the store. For the love of God, man, I'm on my lunch break!! He finally acknowledged me and said something like, "This is thyroid medication. Take it in the morning. It's the same routine as before." I looked at him and said, "I've never been on thyroid medication before." Of course this changed his tone slightly...Why would they assume I'd been on it before? Is that some kind of fat joke? Or is it because if I'm on thyroid medication I must've been taking it for a long, long time? What the hell??? Problems have to start somewhere, no? Anyway, he didn't tell me anything I couldn't have found out online. Idiot. He had a weird name too...It was like, "Jackass" or something like that. Just kidding. It was like, "Isolta" or something...Very weird name...And I couldn't place his accent. Apparently, pharmacists are no longer old white men with gray hair.
Yes, so, a thyroid problem. Hmmm...Does this mean I will have more energy now? Because I'm tired all the time. And I've always been one for napping and such. Does this mean that perhaps I might lose some weight? That would be freakin' fabulous!! I just don't know what to think right now...I swear, I turned 30 and I'm falling apart!! Perhaps I was falling apart before, but then I didn't have insurance to know it for sure; now I know...And it sort of sucks. It's scary, you know?
On a side note, Phoenix told me the cutest story the last night that totally made my day...Her nieces, Little Phoenix and Goofy, always want us to do crazy videos for youtube, but we haven't done any yet. One of the ones they want us to do is the Harry Potter Puppets one with the with catchy tune *sings, "Snape, Snape, Severius Snape"*, but Phoenix thought, a few weeks ago, that it would be more fun with our names instead of HP characters. (That's HP as in Harry Potter, not as in my initials or Hewlett Packard.) So, she tells the girls this and they start the song like this: "Heather, Heather, shifty-eyed Heather." Can I just tell you how much it warmed my heart that these girls know me so well that they know I write shifty shifty eyes??? I was just like, "Awwww...Really?" It was so cute. Of course, this doesn't trump the story about how Little Phoenix thought that my friend, whom I refer to as the Black Spy is not really black. Apparently, she saw the pictures of me giving her the bomb cake and was surprised to see she's not black. She explained to Phoenix that she had assumed that since I'm white, I'm the White Spy and since that's the case, then the Black Spy must be black. OMG!! I almost died laughing. The Black Spy thought this was fabulous when I told her the story via text message. She wrote back, "Tell her I'm black on the inside...You know, like how you're a Jew on the inside." Gotta love that Black Spy...*runs off to plot her demise* So, yeah, kids are awesome....*walks off singing, "Heather, Heather, shifty-eyed Heather..."*
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
It's a free-moving lump...
It kind of sucks to go to the doctor and be lectured on your weight and anything else the doc sees fit to discuss...I know this because this just happened to me on Saturday. I should've blogged sooner, but I've been trying to wrap my mind around some stuff. Let's get the point here, okay? I'll describe my trip the doctor (minus the horrific details that I wish I could describe)...
I scheduled the appointment to have a complete physical...And for those of you who know me too well, yes, this means the whole kit and caboodle, as in a full-on woman's exam. *shivers at the memory* Let me first say that there's nothing quite as degrading as sitting on the exam table wearing nothing by a paper vest which does nothing to cover your ginormous boobs and two paper "sheets", which are really nothing more than over sized chunks of butcher paper in a lovely shade of blue. But I digress...So, the doctor comes in and I'm sitting there feeling rather naked and vulnerable for obvious reasons and she immediately starts in on me about my weight. Okay, fine, she introduced herself, said she'd be giving me that lovely exam I've been avoiding for a good 12 or so years, and then started in on my weight. I'm overweight? Really? Is that why I have to shop at the fat lady's store? Weird...*rolls eyes*
After bringing in the receptionist/nurse, she began the exam. As she examined my chest, she went on lecturing me about my weight and only allowing me a couple of milliseconds to answer questions like, "Does obesity run in your family?" and "How long have you been overweight?" (ALL MY LIFE, YOU EVIL SKINNY BITCH!) And so it went for like three seconds until she stopped in mid movement and went back...I knew something was wrong. This woman was moving through the breast exam with professional speed, but then she stopped. I think my stomach fell out of its cavity and rolled off the table to the floor and my heart stopped beating. Why had she stopped!? She said, "There's a lump." She kept moving around that area, but then said, "It's a free-moving lump." And then went on as though nothing at all was wrong! A lump!? In my boob? Suddenly, every bad, abusive thing I'd done to my body swam through my head. A decade of smoking. All the drinking. Lack of exercise. Playing soccer and thinking nothing of blocking the ball with my chest. Getting hit with a fast ball during softball practice in my boob. Every injury to them came back. I could suddenly hear my grandmother saying things like, "You cannot sleep in your bra, Heather! You'll get cancer!" Wearing a bra to bed doesn't cause cancer, does it? (Yes, I used to sleep in my bra because I was afraid I'd be suffocated by my chest...LOL Not really, but I couldn't stand not wearing a bra.) Of course not, but what causes cancer? Yeah, you don't know either!! What the fuck is a free-moving lump? Of course, the degradation was long from over because the breast exam was only half of it, right?
The rest of the exam sucked, but whatever. I was lost in La-La Land wondering what the lump in my boob was. Right around the time I was about to ask the doctor to hurry the hell up because I was about to go postal, she said, "Okay, we're done with that..." As I sat back up on the table, the doctor went back into her fat speech again. "I'm going to prescribe some blood pressure medication for you. I'm also going to have you go to the lab for some blood work." I was also expecting a mammogram, you know? I mean there's a lump where there shouldn't be a freakin' lump!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, make all the lady lump jokes you want, but still, there shouldn't be lumps within the lumps, right? No mammogram, just blood work. I left there, still lost in thought and wanting only to cry...I'm too young for a lump...
Okay, being young has nothing to do with it. That's not the point. Here's the thing...I've been driving myself nuts. I can't even bring myself to really feel for it because I don't want to know. I Googled free-moving lumps and found it could be fat cells (Oh that tricky fat! Not only does it stick itself to my ass, thighs, and well, every where else, but it also forms lumps!!), a benign cyst, etc...Seriously, there's a few things it could be, but it freaks me out and yet the doctor seemed not at all worried. What the hell??? Apparently, cancer is normally rigid and unmoving, but still...Then what pisses me off big time is that she put me on bloood pressure medication. I've been in there three times and all three times my blood pressure has only been slightly elevated. Yes, I know, elevated is bad, but couldn't we have tried diet and exercise first? The medicine makes me sleepy. Perhaps when I go back in two weeks for my results I'll have low blood pressure, huh?
I guess that's about it. I went and had my labs tests done yesterday morning. I remember when I was younger, I used to think that fasting for 12 hours was hard, but seriously, it's easy...I don't know why I ever sweated it. This lady is doing a complete metabolic work-up, a thyroid test, and something else too...Perhaps we'll find some reason for my being so fat, right? I've been considered obese since I was an infant, so there's got to be some reason for it, right? I mean, I wasn't an over-eater as a baby, was I? We'll see what happens. Phoenix thinks the lady is looking for something, something bad because I'm fat. She's right; otherwise, she wouldn't have given me the blood pressure medication so quickly. Phoenix's blood pressure was way worse than mine and they were like, "We're going to watch it for a while..." But she had to get medication because her work wasn't cool with her having elevated blood pressure. So, she was willing to give Phoenix time, but not me...Whatever. Anyway, let's all hope this lump disappears...I know I'm hoping it's nothing...
I scheduled the appointment to have a complete physical...And for those of you who know me too well, yes, this means the whole kit and caboodle, as in a full-on woman's exam. *shivers at the memory* Let me first say that there's nothing quite as degrading as sitting on the exam table wearing nothing by a paper vest which does nothing to cover your ginormous boobs and two paper "sheets", which are really nothing more than over sized chunks of butcher paper in a lovely shade of blue. But I digress...So, the doctor comes in and I'm sitting there feeling rather naked and vulnerable for obvious reasons and she immediately starts in on me about my weight. Okay, fine, she introduced herself, said she'd be giving me that lovely exam I've been avoiding for a good 12 or so years, and then started in on my weight. I'm overweight? Really? Is that why I have to shop at the fat lady's store? Weird...*rolls eyes*
After bringing in the receptionist/nurse, she began the exam. As she examined my chest, she went on lecturing me about my weight and only allowing me a couple of milliseconds to answer questions like, "Does obesity run in your family?" and "How long have you been overweight?" (ALL MY LIFE, YOU EVIL SKINNY BITCH!) And so it went for like three seconds until she stopped in mid movement and went back...I knew something was wrong. This woman was moving through the breast exam with professional speed, but then she stopped. I think my stomach fell out of its cavity and rolled off the table to the floor and my heart stopped beating. Why had she stopped!? She said, "There's a lump." She kept moving around that area, but then said, "It's a free-moving lump." And then went on as though nothing at all was wrong! A lump!? In my boob? Suddenly, every bad, abusive thing I'd done to my body swam through my head. A decade of smoking. All the drinking. Lack of exercise. Playing soccer and thinking nothing of blocking the ball with my chest. Getting hit with a fast ball during softball practice in my boob. Every injury to them came back. I could suddenly hear my grandmother saying things like, "You cannot sleep in your bra, Heather! You'll get cancer!" Wearing a bra to bed doesn't cause cancer, does it? (Yes, I used to sleep in my bra because I was afraid I'd be suffocated by my chest...LOL Not really, but I couldn't stand not wearing a bra.) Of course not, but what causes cancer? Yeah, you don't know either!! What the fuck is a free-moving lump? Of course, the degradation was long from over because the breast exam was only half of it, right?
The rest of the exam sucked, but whatever. I was lost in La-La Land wondering what the lump in my boob was. Right around the time I was about to ask the doctor to hurry the hell up because I was about to go postal, she said, "Okay, we're done with that..." As I sat back up on the table, the doctor went back into her fat speech again. "I'm going to prescribe some blood pressure medication for you. I'm also going to have you go to the lab for some blood work." I was also expecting a mammogram, you know? I mean there's a lump where there shouldn't be a freakin' lump!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, make all the lady lump jokes you want, but still, there shouldn't be lumps within the lumps, right? No mammogram, just blood work. I left there, still lost in thought and wanting only to cry...I'm too young for a lump...
Okay, being young has nothing to do with it. That's not the point. Here's the thing...I've been driving myself nuts. I can't even bring myself to really feel for it because I don't want to know. I Googled free-moving lumps and found it could be fat cells (Oh that tricky fat! Not only does it stick itself to my ass, thighs, and well, every where else, but it also forms lumps!!), a benign cyst, etc...Seriously, there's a few things it could be, but it freaks me out and yet the doctor seemed not at all worried. What the hell??? Apparently, cancer is normally rigid and unmoving, but still...Then what pisses me off big time is that she put me on bloood pressure medication. I've been in there three times and all three times my blood pressure has only been slightly elevated. Yes, I know, elevated is bad, but couldn't we have tried diet and exercise first? The medicine makes me sleepy. Perhaps when I go back in two weeks for my results I'll have low blood pressure, huh?
I guess that's about it. I went and had my labs tests done yesterday morning. I remember when I was younger, I used to think that fasting for 12 hours was hard, but seriously, it's easy...I don't know why I ever sweated it. This lady is doing a complete metabolic work-up, a thyroid test, and something else too...Perhaps we'll find some reason for my being so fat, right? I've been considered obese since I was an infant, so there's got to be some reason for it, right? I mean, I wasn't an over-eater as a baby, was I? We'll see what happens. Phoenix thinks the lady is looking for something, something bad because I'm fat. She's right; otherwise, she wouldn't have given me the blood pressure medication so quickly. Phoenix's blood pressure was way worse than mine and they were like, "We're going to watch it for a while..." But she had to get medication because her work wasn't cool with her having elevated blood pressure. So, she was willing to give Phoenix time, but not me...Whatever. Anyway, let's all hope this lump disappears...I know I'm hoping it's nothing...
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