Spinning my wheels...

So, it's been four days since my last post...I've been waiting to hear from the bank, but I figured it'd be closer to the end of the week before I'd hear anything. Phoenix keeps asking, "Any emails? Anything?" And I say, "Nope..." I'm not holding my breath. I know it's going to take some time. I get it. I'll probably get a yes or no the day before closing. Yup, I just know that's how things go. Perhaps they'll even drag this out for another month or two, just for shits and giggles. *grins* Yup, I'm in if for the long haul because those fuckers have $1,000 of my money on top of the $600 I've already put out. So, yeah...


Today was a bit of a rough day at work. I got some shitty calls and I'm so over getting shitty surveys from people because they don't like our policies. Look, I can't lower your interest rate when you're late, repeatedly. I can't change how you make payments on your charge card just because you over spent while in Vegas and can't afford to pay what you spent. It's not cool to send in these surveys, rating the employee so low, because you hate what you heard. To those people, I say, "Fuck off!" I'm so over it. I was riding at number one on my team and now I'm number two with someone literally a third of a point below me. So, it was not such a good day despite the fact that my bosses boss was telling me how good I've been doing, despite the shitty surveys. So, when they loaded "downtime" for the day, I said, "Peace" and left two hours early.


Phoenix was going to go to "Noble Tuesday" with her nieces, so I told her to just go and I would walk across the street from work to Starbucks to write. I was super excited about this because I just need some "me" time. I was in the middle of writing when my phone went off. I answered it to find that it was the loan processor lady from the bank. She starts to tell me this, "So, we got an approval on the loan. There's just a couple of conditions." I was like, "Wait...What? What conditions?" She said, "I can email them to you if you want." I was like, "Well that's fine, but you can just tell me now." She says, "Well, we need you to explain this late payment for a student loan. And we need your pay stubs--" I cut her off. "Wait, I went over all this last Friday. I went down to the bank and we did all this. Didn't you get this?" Turns out she was out sick...So, apparently, my info has been sitting in her inbox since Friday and no one has done shit! She said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I do have an email here. I'll go through this and if I need anything else, I'll email you." Yeah, you do that. *pounds head into table* WTF? My shit has been sitting there! I was supposed to get an answer by the end of the week and now it's just been sitting there for the last few days. It just sucks. I know that everyone says that it's a crazy ride, this whole buying a house thing, but honestly, I'm over it. I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of fucking morons who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. Why can't people do their jobs? When I go to work, I have shit to do. If I have stuff to follow up on, I have to do it. It's expected of me. Perhaps I should go work for Chase so I can spend my days fucking around and not checking my email.


So, in the middle of all this shit, it only gets better...Phoenix came to me last week or something (And yes, it's just been eating me up inside since then) and tells me that her evil friend (Insert Evil Friend Name Here) emailed her via Facebook to say that Phoenix's evil ex (Insert Evil Ex's Name here...Also known as the name of the devil...The same as my fuck face father. <~~~ That's right...I get alliteration points for that one!) emailed said Evil Friend to ask her to contact Phoenix to ask for an address to send Phoenix some "family pictures" she came across while she was packing to move again. (Knowing my luck, she's probably moving to a house across the street from the house I'm trying to buy...And if that's the case, I will blow that bitch's house down like I'm the Big Bad Wolf. *straight face* I'm not even playing. Fuck that dumb bitch.) So, Phoenix tells me this and it takes everything in me not to flip out. Yes, I'm so happy she told me and was honest about it, but seriously? This is the exact time that Evil Ex wants to make contact? Didn't she take it as a fucking hint that she's blocked from Pheonix's Facebook page??? Seriously, she's blocked. If you can't email someone, take it as a hint to stay the fuck away...I'm just saying. So, Phoenix is like, "I'm just going to use my mom's house address." Oh good, let's lead her to where we live...*rolls eyes* I pointed out that the pictures probably aren't her family pics like she thought, but perhaps "family" pics of her and the ex...She said I was wrong, but we'll just see about that, won't we? She never told me when she emailed her friend back (Although, I just asked her right now and she said, "Like that next day...Or the day after. Sometime last week." Oh goody...Just as I thought. She couldn't help herself. Apparently, she told her friend to send them here and to tell her to keep any pics that have her in them. I doubt she'll do that...She's EVIL!) . Today, when we got home from work, there was a Fed Ex note on the front door saying that they had come by and needed a signature for the package. They said if we sign the sticker and leave it, they'll leave the package tomorrow. *cringes* I'm not expecting a package and neither is Phoenix's mom. It's the pictures, I just know it. And I'm willing to bet that there's going to be some lame ass letter in there too. One of the last times she emailed Phoenix, she was like, "It's Valentine's Day and I'm so melancholy..." And other stupid lame bullshit that dumb, evil bitches say. We have been together for almost three years and this bitch just won't stay gone. Seriously. GO AWAY! Exs are exs for a reason. Live and let live. If I came across pictures of my ex (Which, thankfully, I don't have any), I'd be like, "Whatever" and probably throw them away because that's how much I fucking care. I wouldn't be like, "Hey!! I've got some pics! Want them?" Why now? Why won't she just go away? I don't need this...I don't need any of this.


So, when you all see me on the 6 o'clock news as the crazy lady who was found in a Cold Stone Creamery, eating the ice cream from the case with a spoon in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and a bottle of Vodka nearby, you'll know why...Things just don't get better. It's like I'm sitting here, spinning my wheels, and I can't get any further in my life. I'm stuck at a shitty job where my boss can't see how good I am. I'm in a relationship where my girl's ex can't just stay away. And my bank has me dangling on a string like I'm fucking Pinocchio waiting for a yes, no, or maybe so. I'm over it all. Most of all, I'm over the fucking ex. I wonder how much longer I'm supposed to wait before I get to stand up and say, "Bitch please...Get to steppin'. Go peddle crazy somewhere else because we're full up here." I've sat back, quietly, these almost three years while this bitch has come and gone, sending emails, trying to call my girl, etc...I'm done. Phoenix has changed her phone number like three times since we got together because of this girl. At some point in time, this bitch needs to know it's not okay and that time is now. We'll see what's in the package and then we'll see what happens next. I'm done biting my tongue.

The Hard Way...

So, with each passing day, a little part of me hopes I am moving closer to signing on the house I want so that this can be over with...In reality, this isn't happening. In reality, everything is screwed up. I don't even know how it is that these things happen. Of course, it's my life and I should expect it because that second shoe always drops. I don't care what anyone says ("It's not sane to live your life waiting for the bad to happen!"), this is the way it goes. Things will seem like they're okay, but what no one can see is the "Big Plan" in which everything will go to hell in a hand basket when no one is looking. (What the fuck is a hand basket, any way? Is that like a picnic basket?) Please allow me to fill all you, my faithful readers, in on what's been going on...


I signed a buttload of papers for the bank to get my loan going through...That was about two weeks ago or so. My bank guy tells me that everything is looking fine and I'll hear from a loan processor or something within a week. He was right. The woman called, we confirmed everything, and she said, "You'll hear from us within a week." Great. I was all buckled in and ready to go for this ride. This was really going to happen. (Okay, time out...Who knew I'd be buying a house in AZ at any point in my life? Seriously, AZ was not one of my top ten US destinations...Weird.) I was excited, but scared because I know my life. I know how things work. I refused to hold my breath because I knew I'd die that way, so I waited...


Meanwhile, an appraiser finally went to the house (like a week or two later than he was supposed to) and he did his thing there. While there, luckily he noted the AC unit was missing and needed to be replaced, along with a few other minor issues...What he didn't note or make mention of, and who're we kidding--maybe he didn't notice--the missing appliances. Maybe he was blind and couldn't see the gaping holes in the kitchen where something should go. I don't know why, but he didn't. So, now Fannie Mae, the seller, is not going to put in a stove or anything. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I sold our furniture. We sold the couch, the dining table, etc...We have to buy a new couch and we're getting a table from someone, but we weren't planning on buying appliances. We've found some cheap deals in the last couple of days of looking, but all my money is going to getting the fucking house! I wasn't supposed to have to buy this shit too!! Please let me tell you how livid I was when I got a text from my realtor about this. The bank guy told me that she should've spelled it out clearly in the contract and not relied on it showing in the appraisal. I guess I see both sides, but really, I'm not at fault here for this and yet I'm the one getting screwed. It's fucking bullshit!


Then my loan dude emails me yesterday and says, "We have a conditional approval. I need you to come in and sign off on some explanations." Apparently, I needed to explain why I've had three addresses in the last five years. I had to explain why Double Day Bookclub sent me to collections for $67 (I will never join a book club again! Ever. Never ever.). I also had to explain why I was late on a student loan that had been sold off my Sallie Mae. And so on and so forth. Good times, let me tell you. I mean, seriously, just say yes or no...Don't keep me dangling on a fucking string saying, "Well...We might give you the loan, but...well...we'll see what happens." YES OR NO! That's it! I asked my dude straight out, "So, it's conditional...Can they still say no?" He said, "Yes. If you're asking how sure I am about this, well, I'd say like 70% sure you'll get it. I say that because I've never had to explain anything on a credit report before like this." Nice. Have I mentioned how much I love being the exception to the rule? *rolls eyes*


So, here we are, exactly two weeks from the supposed closing and they are just now going to start the repairs at the house and we still don't know if I get the loan. I want to pull my fucking hair out. On most days, I'm about to snap...Like you look at me wrong and there's a good chance I'm going to ghetto on your ass. I am so over this. Plus, we're staying with Phoenix's mom, which is fine, but it's not my mom...or my house...and I'm not comfortable being here. It's not "home". I appreciate that she's letting us stay here, but...well...you guys can imagine. It just sucks when it's not your place. I know it'll all be worth it in the end, but it's been an uphill battle, in the snow, while naked, and people are throwing snowballs at me...lol That's a pretty picture one of my co-workers likes to paint on a rough day at work. I'm just not sure it's all supposed to be this difficult.


Also, I'm not sure I mentioned this because I haven't blogged in so long, but I bought a truck. I bought a 1970 Ford F250 from my friend's husband. He was nice enough to bring it to me, all the way from CA. He gave me all the paperwork I should've needed and went to the MVD (Apparently, here they call it the Motor Vehicle Department or some shit like that instead of DMV.) to get it registered. Luckily, I got to talk to a woman there who I worked with at Walmart so she was cool with me, but she laid it out like this...The pink slip I had was the original pink slip and showed there was a loan on it with BofA...from 1970. Since it showed this, they couldn't let me register it in my name. Without the current pink slip, showing that it was owned outright by someone, I would have to send certified letters to the old man my friend's husband got the truck from, his wife who was listed on it, and BofA, making sure everyone was cool with me having the truck and that there was no lien on it or anything like that. *rolls eyes* Are you fucking kidding me? The loan was from 1970!! Who takes 40 years to pay off a truck??? Who even gives out 40 year car loans??? WTF? So, now, I mailed the pink to my friend's hubby and he's going to register it in CA and then send me the stuff so I can register it out here...Seriously...Everything has to be done the hard way. Everything...