I'm not asking for much...

I'm not asking for much right now, but what I would like is a bit of break. Phoenix will tell you that when she started reading my blogs, she thought to herself, "There's no way all this stuff happens to one girl!" Well, she hadn't met me yet. Life never goes as planned. In fact, usually, the unexpected is what I should expect. When I moved here, I had figured I'd be able to find work somewhere...even if it had to be fast food, since that's where all my experience lies, unless you count student teaching, which most places don't. I've never had a hard time finding work though, so I wasn't worried. Yeah, in the, what, like eight months I've lived here, I had a temp job that lasted about a month or so. (It was split up over a few jobs.) So, that pretty much blows. Then my piece of shit car, which I didn't think would make it here, made it here, but then died on me a few months ago. Now I don't have a running car. (Whatever is wrong with it is likely electrical because it killed the battery and two other electrical parts. And I know absolutely jack about the electrical workings of automobiles.) Life just keeps getting a bit tougher all the time.



I'm not really complaining because my complicated life often makes for good blog material and provides others with amusement. What I'm doing here is basically setting up for the newest in a long line of mishaps in my life. Let's also keep in mind that I'm a smart girl. Google is my best friend because I constantly google everything I don't know or understand. And I don't fall for ridiculous schemes, okay?


I saw an ad online for a tutoring position. The guy was offering $35 an hour to tutor his 8-year old son who speaks mostly Spanish. Well, I know some techniques on teaching EL students, so why not, right? I sent off an email to the guy. We've emailed back and forth a couple of times and it seemed that I was amongst the final three he had narrowed it down to. He had asked me what I thought I would spend in gas driving to his house each week (He provided me with the address of the house he was moving to) and what my desired wage was, etc...I had told him that I felt $35 an hour was a lot of money and that I would feel more comfortable with $25 an hour, which is the going wage for tutors here and that if, after tutoring his son for a while, he felt I was doing a good job, he could pay me more. I also said gas would be about $20 a week since he's not all that far from here. He wrote back a little while ago and here's what it said:
Dear Heather,
This is to notify you that you have been given a provisional appointment to be the ESL teacher for my son. You are selected based on your experience and passion to teach.
Please note that the teaching will take place at my residence and i will be arriving precisely Sept 25th but the lesson starts on Monday Sept 28th.
Here is what i want to offer you:
1.Teaching for 10hrs/week.
2. That i will be paying you $350/week or $35/hr and $20/week as a recompense for gas/transportation.There is a parking space at the apartment building free of charge.
3.Anytime from 3.00pm-8.00pm weekdays and 11.00am on weekends is suitable..
Please note that i will be responsible for your tax since i am employing you for private teaching.
I will send to you USA MONEY ORDER of $2,850 ($950 each) which i bought the last time i came to the US. I will write the Money order payable to your name so you could cash it at your bank.
I am sending you that much money because of my step-dad's Alzheimer's disease.
My step-dad got sick couple of months ago which made me spent lots of money taking care of his medical bills.
The Money order is for USA which is cashable at your bank and its not cashable here in UK.
As soon as you receive the Money order, take it to the bank and cash it and deduct $370 which is one week teaching charges with gas/transport fee, also deduct $100 for the purchase of the teaching materials needed for my son.
Then send the balance of the money to my ticket agent in London so i can buy the family flight ticket. We are coming from London, UK.
I will like to have your full name and address so that the check can be sent to you as soon as possible.
Accept my congratulations!
Luis Albiol.


If you Google parts of this email, it'll come up as a scam. None of the other emails did though...So, please people, watch out and don't be duped as I was. I thought I was going to catch a break...Silly, silly me...What was I thinking?


No worries though because I am going to email this guy back and tell him some crazy stuff...Like, "Is there any way you can pay me in cash? I don't use banks because they want me to put my fingerprint on checks I cash and I think that's just another way the government keeps track of me..." Or something ridiculous like that...Or perhaps I should say that I have contracted some rare disease that keeps me from being in the sun, so I am unable to go to the bank during bank hours to cash the Money Order and can't he just send me cash. I shall think of something clever and I will post it here when I am done...This is all in an effort to keep from responding to him with a resounding, "GO EFF YOURSELF!" Although, probably not the censored version of that statement...