Frustrated...

So, we all know I'm overweight...No surprise there, right? lol So, since like October of last year, or so, I have lost 35 pounds that I know for sure. Unfortunately, we bought a scale that cuts off at a specific weight and I weighed over that. I don't know by how much, obviously since it didn't go that high, but from when I was able to see my weight until now, it's been about 35 pounds. Here's the problem, I can't seem to go any lower! I was at 30 pounds forever and finally lost a few more pounds, but that's it. And now I've got this job where I sit on my ass for 8 hours and I can't seem to work out enough to make up for that. I've been walking (and jogging at one-one and a half minute intervals) on a treadmill in the apartment gym. I've even been doing 10 minutes on the elliptical machine (which I despise!!), but nothing. I'm still a fat cow who can't seem to lose even a pound. We don't even really keep any junk food in the house, so it's not like I'm all, "I can't lose any weight" as I eat ice cream from the gallon container. *rolls eyes* Seriously, this fucking sucks. I went this morning and worked out for over an hour and did a little strength training too because the strength training is suppose to help you keep burning calories longer than just cardio. Yeah, there was no change in my weight. My doctor had told me to get 40 minutes of cardio every day...Yeah, it's not doing shit. This sucks.


I don't want people to feel bad for me though, so before I go, I shall share a rather amusing story with you...As mentioned above, I have been using the treadmills in the apartment complex gym. None of the equipment is in the best condition, but it works...Well, most of it. There's a broken treadmill and a broken stair-stepper, but whatever. So, yesterday, I was on the one treadmill that makes all kinds of noise when it's on. I hate it, but it was the only one open. So, I get going on it and I decided to go a full 40 minutes on it, then do the elliptical, then the bike. I was switching it up, jogging and walking, and I was doing fine. At some point in time, the woman next to me got off the treadmill and a Chinese dude got on it. He was jogging and walking, sort of like me. Anyway, I was down to my last minute of it and I had been jogging for a minute and had decided to jog for the last minute too. (It hurts my knees to jog for too long, so I keep it short, just to get my heart going more.) So, I'm going and I'm thinking in my head, "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" as if I'm some sort of spokesperson for freakin' Nike or something, right? And then it happens...


My biggest fear of using a treadmill is that I'm going to fall off it. I am not known for my gracefulness. I am a clumsy mo-fo and I am okay with that. I know how clumsy I am and I stick to activities that don't require me to be graceful and light on my feet. I am also afraid that I will trip on the treadmill and go flying off it, like we all have seen people do on youtube.com videos. And if you haven't, go to youtube right now and look for yourself. I don't want to be that fat girl...The one who flew off the treadmill and broke half the gym in the process. Hey! Stop picturing it! Okay, back to my story...


So, there I am, jogging away, sweat dripping down my face and neck, iPod blasting Green Day in my ears, and I'm thinking, "DO IT!" because I am determined to make it these last 58 seconds...And then...Well, and then nothing. And by nothing, I mean that the fucking treadmill came to a screeching halt as though I had hit the STOP button. I almost tripped at the point in time and then I looked at the thing and saw it was off. I glanced over at the guy next to me who was jogging away and looked as confused as I felt. I pushed some buttons and nothing happened. The fucking thing was broken!! WTF!? I killed the treadmill with my fatness!!! My fat killed something and thankfully, it wasn't me! I felt so stupid. I gathered my towel, iPod, and water off the thing and slinked away to the elliptical machine. As I got onto the elliptical, I hoped I would not break that too...And that if I did, I would find some sort of pill to take to help me lose weight faster because it would be bullshit not to be able to workout. Thankfully, it didn't break!


On the plus side of this whole story, when I went to the gym this morning, the treadmill was back on...WTF? Yeah, I didn't get on it. I got on the other one, but I was too scared to jog on it. I mean, it's scary anyway, but now I really don't want to jog if the thing can just suddenly shut off on me!! So, yeah...That's it...I have to go now. I have so many things to get done on my days off!! Peace out.