Don't touch me!

As many of you know, I spent a majority of my life avoiding people touching me. I remember as a small child, of like 5 or so, avoiding my one grandma I called, "Nana". She would always try to hug me and all her kisses seemed to be aimed at my lips. *shivers at the thoughts* So gross! She was old and wrinkly and had all sorts of health issues. With all the meds she was on, and probably due to poor hygiene, she always smelled and I hated her kissing me and hugging me. I know, five is pretty young to avoid people's affection, but I did. It only got worse from there. Once when I was like 12 or so, probably not long before Nana passed away, I told her she smelled like formaldehyde. That didn't go over too well. I don't even know why I had said that as I didn't know what that smelled like, but I knew it was used to preserve old dead things. I know, I know, I'm a horrible person. *shrugs* That's me, take or leave it, but you can see that this has been an on-going problem.


As a teenager, I remember having friends who thought it was "normal" (whatever that is) to hug one another and to sit so close that you might as well be on the person's lap. I was so not into this. I used to ALWAYS say, "Don't touch me!" Or "Stop touching me!" It was just me and I hated people trying to touch me. People are dirty and sometimes they smell...Not always bad, but think of all the stuff you put on--lotion, body wash, shampoo, toothpaste, make-up, body spray--It can all become overwhelming. I don't have a hound dog's nose, but really, it's a bit much. I know, I spray my body spray all the time, but I don't go out of my way to be close to people or whatever. But I digress...For some of my friends, it became a game. Like people would go out of their way to walk by me in the hall and reach out to touch me or whatever. *rolls eyes* And each time, I'd fall for it and be like, "Dude! Don't touch me!" Remember, I said I was a teenager at the time. In fact, some people took it too far and would make it a point to try to stroke my hair and freak me out even more...Yup, these are the types of people I chummed around with.


As an adult, I chilled out a bit and found it was easier to avoid people touching me. It freaks me out though when people touch me because I have no idea where their hands have been. I mean, look at this:





Hello! I don't want your ball germs on me! People are so gross!! And I know people don't always wash their hands! I see people all the time at work in the bathroom who don't wash their hands or who sit there fixing their hair before washing their hands. Dude, you just got pee germs all over your hair! Plus, my Grandpa taught me to NEVER touch the door handle in the bathroom because again PEOPLE DON'T WASH THEIR HANDS! But I constantly see people wash their hands, then grab that door handle! EWWW!!! And then these are the people who offer to grab you a drink from the cafeteria, shake your hand, grab a cookie off that plate of cookies, etc...*gags* It freaks me out.


What's the point of this rant, you ask? Well let me tell you...This morning we had to go to a court hearing for the foster kids. The girls' mom and dad were there, along with the baby daddies for the other two older kids and grandma to one of the girls. The judge started off the hearing all pissed off because mom went off on the grandma outside the courtroom, blaming her for the kids being taken away, and the sheriffs had to intervene to prevent any blows from being thrown. After watching that scene, I knew we'd have the kids for a while longer at least. So, we sat through the hearing, listening to all the lies being thrown about by the parents and everyone else. CPS sat there, not saying much of anything. It took everything in me to keep quiet as I listened to the bullshit the parents' attorneys were saying. Afterward, we stood in the hall waiting to talk to the CPS worker, but mom and dad got to her first. We stood there for over twenty minutes waiting our turn. Finally we got to have our say with her and then the parents walked out to the parking lot with us. As we walked, the mom kept reaching out and touching me. It's not considered good manners to cringe as someone reaches towards you, so I refrained, but really...In my head, this is what it looked like as she reached for me.



or even like this:



You know those are gross...And a little funny in that, "I now need to take a shower with bleach and steel wool" sort of way. But seriously, this is what she looks like to me. I know she's been a druggie in the past and is trying to get clean now. I don't know what sort of diseases or things she has. Phoenix told me that herpes is not contagious through touch after we had left court today and I complained about it, and I know that, but still...I was literally giving myself hives afterward because it was freaking me out so badly. There's no need for her to touch me, but she kept reaching out and touching my arms and my shoulders. I am NOT A TOUCHY FEELY PERSON! BACK OFF!!! I was yelling this on the inside as I kept scooting further and further from her filthy gross hands and speed pocked face...But alas, she kept stepping closer. What is it with people that they cannot read social clues? Like if someone is backing away or turning away from you, it's probably because they don't want you to be around them!


Okay, so I am not as OCD as I sound. I don't wash my hands 800 hundred times a day with antibacterial soap...Nope, I'm doing much better--I'm down to 478 times a day. (It has to be a round number!) Seriously though, why must people touch others? I don't want to hold hands with little Hurricane at night to pray because the kid literally puts her hand in her mouth before reaching out to me. I think Phoenix pays her in McDonald's chicken tenders for doing this. I don't want to hold hands with Sir Complains A Lot because she has a couple of warts on her hands. I don't want to touch Phoenix's hands because she scratches her butt all the time! Hahahahaha!! Just kidding about the last part...Or was I? Bwahahahaha!


So, I suppose I should stop ranting, but really...People are yucky. That's it for me tonight! Peace out!