So, for those of you who have me as a friend on Facebook, you've probably been waiting for my blog on what happened on Friday...*sighs* Well, here we go. Friday was such a fucked up day. Seriously.
Friday morning we got up early and took the kids to daycare so we could go to a meeting with cps, the kids' therapist, and their mom. Well, it wasn't as easy as just driving across town to drop the kids off. No, the freeway was closed, so all the side streets were slammed with traffic. There had been an officer involved shooting, so the freeway was completely shut down for a few miles. It sucks for those involved, but also for those of us who weren't expecting it to take over an hour to drive 25 miles. We were way late for the meeting, but whatever. I'm glad I only had to spend a little over an hour with the kids' crazy mom instead of two full hours. I met her the other day and she bugged the crap out of me, but it's whatever, you know? I mean, I don't need to spend time with her. We're not going to be friends. However, at the meeting, I learned how deep her delusions run. She was trying to insist that CPS set her up and it's all defamation of character. Ummm...CPS has it in their file that they found drug paraphernalia at her house. She admitted at a previous meeting that her foot hurts all the time from a car accident she was in over two years ago and she refuses to stop taking Oxycontin or Methadone. She's going to take one or the other. The problem isn't that she takes these...The problem is that she abuses them and doesn't stay coherent enough to take care of her kids. So, at the meeting, no matter what we said about the kids, she turned around to talk about herself. For instance, we brought up that Baby Hurricane talks to something we can't see. (Casper the friendly ghost or imaginary friend, we know not which.) I was telling them about how last Sunday I was sitting watching TV with her when she suddenly looked over and started talking to something and then rolled her ball towards whatever she was talking to. I had thought, "If that ball rolls back, I'm making a run for it!!" Haha. I'm a good caretaker, huh? So, as we tell this story, the mom says, "When I was her age, my sister got shot in a drive-by and I created an imaginary friend. I used to ask where it lived and it told me that it came from the mountains." Are you fucking kidding me? She's a fucking druggie who can't remember the ages of her kids, but she can remember an imaginary friend from when she was two? She has to have her husband write her a list of everything she needs to do each day and include written instructions (with a hand-drawn map) to get to the meeting, but she can remember her imaginary friend? I don't fucking think so! It took everything in me not to tell her to shut the fuck up! I couldn't stand listening to her talk. She looks and acts like a druggie. She bugs the shit out of me. It also came out that when she was preggers with Sir Complains A Lot that she was on speed. Nice. What kind of person does that? I started getting hives and a headache just listening to her. I found myself wondering, "What's a good reason to leave the room? Can I say I have a tummy ache and walk out?" But I knew Phoenix would lay into me after we left if I did that. Haha! I was so glad when the meeting was over. I made a run for it, but then Phoenix stayed behind and talked to the therapist. Since she stayed behind, with the car keys, I was stuck standing outside on the sidewalk waiting for her. This left me vulnerable and here came crazy mom, limping along. She tells me and the CPS worker that she has refractured her foot and the hospital gave her pain meds. Care to guess which type? DING, DING, DING! Oxycontin! Fucking morons!! You'd think that hospital could spot an addict a mile away! Yeah, her kids are never going home again. Finally, she said she had to go see her lawyer, you know because they're going to sue CPS for defamation of character...Is there a law against calling a spade a spade? Because she's a druggie and shouldn't have her kids. I hate CPS, but in this case, they were right in what they did.
After the meeting, Phoenix and I got a break, which was nice, but I knew that that evening I was going to have to see druggie mom and her husband at the high school football game we were going to. Sir Complains A Lot was involved in a cheerleading camp and was going to perform a cheer with the high school cheerleaders. Well, CPS and the dad decided that instead of doing a "visit" on Wednesday, they would have the visit at the football game. *rolls eyes* I knew this was going to be a cluster fuck. The CPS worker said she'd meet us there at 7pm. Well, we got there just before 7pm and the parents were there. The dad is a super nice guy, but he's a puss. If he'd leave the mom, he could have the kids back. Perhaps he likes being a part time dad? I don't know. I'd want my kids, no matter what it took, but that's just me...Anyway, so we go into the game and before we even get in, the mom is already pissing me off. She just doesn't shut up! She has a whiny voice and she was high. Not like stoned on weed, but she'd taken her meds. Surprise, surprise, CPS wasn't there yet. In fact, CPS arrived sometime between 7:30 and 7:40. One would think that if it's her job to monitor the visit, then she should be there, not leaving me and Phoenix to watch the parents inadequately watch their kids. Hurricane was running around and the mom kept calling out to the dad to get her. What the fuck, lady? How about you don't let her get off the bleacher in the first place? We took Hurricane to a football game a few weeks ago and she sat there the whole time. Not once did she play on the stairs, but on Friday, she was all over the place. Fucking idiots. Then the mom is trying to talk to me about how she should get the kids back, asking how we manage Hurricane, and then is all, "You know, if you're ever having feelings or need someone to talk to, you can call me." *blank stare* Umm, what? I wouldn't call this woman if she was the last person on the planet and I was going crazy not talking to anyone. I'd choose insanity over talking to her. No joke. What bugged me the most was that she reached out and put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed my shoulder. Don't fucking touch me, you whack job! Of course, I can't say this because I need to be nice, but whatever. I was sitting there wishing I still smoked so I'd have an excuse to walk away, out of the school, and like across the street to smoke. I'd gladly walk a mile to "smoke" to get away from her. Instead, I sat there, willing my hives to stay at bay and for her to stop touching me. Then she says she's going to go looking for the CPS worker because at that point in time she wasn't there yet. So, off she goes. Phoenix had gone with the dad to change the baby. Finally, I had a break. Apparently, she didn't go looking for CPS--No, she went to her car to pop another pill or do whatever it is she does because she was even more high after that. Dad apparently went to the parking lot looking for her and we're guessing they fought because they weren't the same when they came back. Luckily, CPS showed up and they stayed the hell away from us for awhile. Seriously, I am never going anywhere that woman goes again. She's so whiny and when she's high she speaks incoherently and I just want to strangle her. (I do hope you all know I'm not a violent person...These are just my thoughts and I'd never act on them.) She's also a nagger...Like she nags more than any Jewish woman I've ever met. It boggles my mind. If Phoenix nagged me like this woman nags her husband, I'd be like, "Peace out, yo!" Seriously!
I guess we were only at the game for about 2 hours, but it felt like I'd been there for days. Finally, halftime was over. Sir Complains A Lot did pretty good. I'll give her that. Once it was over, we wanted to go because we had to work early on Saturday. So, we say we need to head out. We all start going out and the mom says she wants to get Sir Complains A Lot a drink because she's thirsty. She wanted to get her a soda to which Phoenix said, "No. They don't put lids on them and it's not going in my car like that." Not to mention, it was 9pm and a 7 year old doesn't need a soda. So, the mom says she's going to get her a water and gets in line. I'm like, "Are you kidding me!?" On the inside...lol. I said nothing out loud. I know when to bite my tongue. I told Phoenix I was going to pull around the car after waiting for a few minutes. Well, as I head out to the parking lot I see the mom hurrying towards the parking lot. WTF? She was just in line for a drink! So, I call out to Phoenix and tell her that the mom is going to the parking lot. Everyone is equally as confused as I am. Now, this woman with the "fractured" foot, wearing flip-flops, is hauling ass out to the parking lot. Like seriously. I walk pretty quickly, but she was going very fast for someone with a "hurt" foot. She was so high, she forgot where she parked. I finally called out to her and she turned around and stared at me for a moment like I was a stranger, then she recognized me. "Oh! Heather! There you are! I was looking all over for you guys!" I said, "What the heck are you talking about? You were supposed to be getting a drink! Why are you out here?" She said, "Oh, they wouldn't take debit." Of course they wouldn't...It's a high school football game, not a fucking Cardinals game! I said, "Well, everyone is coming out. I'm pulling the car up." It took like another fifteen minutes for the mom to hug the kids and kiss them repeatedly before letting us go. Yes, I'm sure it's hard to say bye to your kids, but the longer you drag it out, the worse it is. And she was being so annoying. She was trying to tell me to go through a drive thru to get a drink for Sir Complains A Lot. I told the kid, "We'll get you a drink at home." She was okay with that. I'm telling you, the whole thing was such bullshit. The CPS worker should've been there on time and I never should've had to sit anywhere near that crazy woman! I don't know why they can't do their jobs properly...I'll take care of these kids, but I don't want to deal with the mom...ever. And so help me God, if that woman shows up somewhere high again, I'll fucking call her out on it since no one else will. It's such bullshit! CPS should've told her that she needed to leave on Friday night.
Okay, that's my rant...I need to go iron my work clothes since the CEO and his pals (the dudes who sit on the board of directors) are coming to work on Tuesday. Apparently, they want us to pretend we dress professionally all the time...Sure, I do...if you consider t-shirts and shorts professional!! HAHA! Peace out, folks!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
I'm going to throw myself under the bus...
So, this has been a pretty rough year and I have yet to figure out a way to deal with the stresses that keep getting flung my way. I feel like a rubber band being stretched too far...And then stretched a little further...And maybe a little further. I'm barely holding it together. Earlier in the year, I started smoking again. I know a few of you knew, but not many and really, only the people who see me all the time. I felt guilty the whole time I was smoking again. I mean, what kind of jackass goes through the hell of quitting only to go, "Hmm...Maybe I should smoke again?" *raises hand* Me. I do. I'm an idiot. I didn't smoke as much as I used to and it wasn't like before. I mean, it sort of helped me deal with the stress and kept me from wanting to pull my hair out, but I knew I needed to stop. I had considered stopping when we got the house, but then shortly after we got the kids and then the house flooded. Then we were going on a family vacation and I didn't want to be going through withdrawals in Hawaii. Then we got back and my parents came to town. Again, not a good time to be going through withdrawals. So, I waited...
It's been two weeks since I quit again. I still find myself, from time to time, wanting a smoke. Mostly, these times come after listening to Phoenix help Sir Complains A Lot with her spelling words. (I know, some people suck at spelling, but really, "tried" doesn't start with a "ch"!!! How many times do we have to say that!? And when Phoenix tells her to spell it again, she again says, "C...H...I...--" *pulls out hair*) I'm a mean, horrible person. I know. I'm okay with that. I also would like a cigarette after taking phone calls at work. I can't keep doing my job for much longer. I have no idea how to respond to some of the fucking morons I talk to. I had a guy freaking out on me yesterday because he's at his default APR. Well, duh, fuck face, you've been over the limit three times in the last six months and surprise, surprise, you're over the limit AGAIN! No, I can't fix it. No, I cannot promise that it'll be lowered if you pay it down. Then he said, "I'll cancel the account." I said, "Okay, I can cancel it for you." (I love to call their bluffs!) Of course the pussy said, "No! Don't cancel it! I'll keep it open and that payment I just made (It was made three weeks ago.) was the last dime you'll get from me! I'll go bankrupt on it. I don't care! I'm 77 years old! I don't need to pay my *insert my company's name here* bill to get into Heaven!" And then he hung up on me. You know, I'm not the enemy...I'm the messenger. I don't like being killed day in and day out. And won't he be surprised when he gets to Heaven's Gates and finds that without our card, he won't gain entrance? I can't stand being yelled at. I got screamed at by another man the other day because we had sent him a solicitation email. OMG! It's the end of the world as we know it. He literally screamed at me, calling me stupid and an idiot, and telling me he doesn't have time for this bullshit, blah, blah, blah. Mmmmhmmm...Me neither. Of course, he hung up before I could tell him that even though I took him off the list for marketing emails, mail, and phone calls, it can take up to 12 weeks for it to stop. Oh well, fucking idiot. Still, these people make my head ache...badly. And my fingers get itchy for a smoke. I've been good though. Even when Phoenix has told me that it's okay if I give in sometimes...She knows...I haven't been sleeping that great. (Until I discovered Melatonin, which is a God-send. Seriously! I actually got some sleep!) I just feel so on edge and I'm scared I'm going to end up snapping because I always feel stressed out. And the other day I realized how bad it was...
I went to the local grocery store the other night to get something we needed. I somehow ended up with a container of chocolate ice cream too...*shifty eyes* Perhaps I should've opted for the margarita mix instead. Oh well, that's neither here nor there. So, I go to the self-check out and swipe my member card when a man comes stumbling up to me. "Can I help you?" he asks. Me, giving him a sideways dirty look, "No. I'm fine." He says, "We're all humans. Just let me help you." Me, "No, seriously, I'm fine." It was then that I could smell the beer on his breath. Gross. He then says, "Whatever. It's my birthday today." *blank look* "Okay." Him-- "Jesus! You can't even say happy birthday? We're human, you should act like it!" Me, "Happy birthday." (I was trying to ring up my stuff faster and he was just slowing me down.) Him, "Oh sure, now you say something. You know, I don't know why people are so mean to each other. My mom used to call me a little faggot. She used to say, 'You're nothing but a faggot punk!' Can you believe that?" Me- "Must've been rough. Now really, you're in my way. I'm leaving." It was then that he stood in my way and I walked around him to leave. The fucker started to follow me to the parking lot and I immediately got a little scared. I mean, I got robbed all those years ago while working at Pizza Hut and I don't really need to be punched in the face again. As I spun around and glared at the fucker following me and then looked for a manager because they really needed to do something about the drunk fuck bothering people (Mind you, three managers were standing off to the side watching the scene unfold.), I found myself hoping--literally hoping--the fucking bastard would put his hands on me because I would unleash on the mother fucker. Can you believe that? I wanted to hurt him because he was repulsive and bothering me and smelled like beer and I was going to snap. I knew that if he touched me, I would snap and I was hoping he would.
*sigh* He didn't lay a finger on me. The store manager came walking over and I told him, "You'd better watch me walk to my car." He nodded and stood in front of the store, arguing with the drunkard. It was as I got into my car that I realized I need to find a way, and soon, to relieve my stress. I still don't know what to do, but I'm open to suggestions. Everyday when I leave work, I feel like crying and not just from the tension headache I'm normally sporting. Any suggestions? Anyone? Perhaps some kick boxing? I need something before I snap. I'm so scared I'm going to end up going off on someone at work and I need my job. And I guess going back to smoking isn't an option...Especially since I always feel a bit guilty for doing it. Oh yeah...And it's supposedly bad for your health.
It's been two weeks since I quit again. I still find myself, from time to time, wanting a smoke. Mostly, these times come after listening to Phoenix help Sir Complains A Lot with her spelling words. (I know, some people suck at spelling, but really, "tried" doesn't start with a "ch"!!! How many times do we have to say that!? And when Phoenix tells her to spell it again, she again says, "C...H...I...--" *pulls out hair*) I'm a mean, horrible person. I know. I'm okay with that. I also would like a cigarette after taking phone calls at work. I can't keep doing my job for much longer. I have no idea how to respond to some of the fucking morons I talk to. I had a guy freaking out on me yesterday because he's at his default APR. Well, duh, fuck face, you've been over the limit three times in the last six months and surprise, surprise, you're over the limit AGAIN! No, I can't fix it. No, I cannot promise that it'll be lowered if you pay it down. Then he said, "I'll cancel the account." I said, "Okay, I can cancel it for you." (I love to call their bluffs!) Of course the pussy said, "No! Don't cancel it! I'll keep it open and that payment I just made (It was made three weeks ago.) was the last dime you'll get from me! I'll go bankrupt on it. I don't care! I'm 77 years old! I don't need to pay my *insert my company's name here* bill to get into Heaven!" And then he hung up on me. You know, I'm not the enemy...I'm the messenger. I don't like being killed day in and day out. And won't he be surprised when he gets to Heaven's Gates and finds that without our card, he won't gain entrance? I can't stand being yelled at. I got screamed at by another man the other day because we had sent him a solicitation email. OMG! It's the end of the world as we know it. He literally screamed at me, calling me stupid and an idiot, and telling me he doesn't have time for this bullshit, blah, blah, blah. Mmmmhmmm...Me neither. Of course, he hung up before I could tell him that even though I took him off the list for marketing emails, mail, and phone calls, it can take up to 12 weeks for it to stop. Oh well, fucking idiot. Still, these people make my head ache...badly. And my fingers get itchy for a smoke. I've been good though. Even when Phoenix has told me that it's okay if I give in sometimes...She knows...I haven't been sleeping that great. (Until I discovered Melatonin, which is a God-send. Seriously! I actually got some sleep!) I just feel so on edge and I'm scared I'm going to end up snapping because I always feel stressed out. And the other day I realized how bad it was...
I went to the local grocery store the other night to get something we needed. I somehow ended up with a container of chocolate ice cream too...*shifty eyes* Perhaps I should've opted for the margarita mix instead. Oh well, that's neither here nor there. So, I go to the self-check out and swipe my member card when a man comes stumbling up to me. "Can I help you?" he asks. Me, giving him a sideways dirty look, "No. I'm fine." He says, "We're all humans. Just let me help you." Me, "No, seriously, I'm fine." It was then that I could smell the beer on his breath. Gross. He then says, "Whatever. It's my birthday today." *blank look* "Okay." Him-- "Jesus! You can't even say happy birthday? We're human, you should act like it!" Me, "Happy birthday." (I was trying to ring up my stuff faster and he was just slowing me down.) Him, "Oh sure, now you say something. You know, I don't know why people are so mean to each other. My mom used to call me a little faggot. She used to say, 'You're nothing but a faggot punk!' Can you believe that?" Me- "Must've been rough. Now really, you're in my way. I'm leaving." It was then that he stood in my way and I walked around him to leave. The fucker started to follow me to the parking lot and I immediately got a little scared. I mean, I got robbed all those years ago while working at Pizza Hut and I don't really need to be punched in the face again. As I spun around and glared at the fucker following me and then looked for a manager because they really needed to do something about the drunk fuck bothering people (Mind you, three managers were standing off to the side watching the scene unfold.), I found myself hoping--literally hoping--the fucking bastard would put his hands on me because I would unleash on the mother fucker. Can you believe that? I wanted to hurt him because he was repulsive and bothering me and smelled like beer and I was going to snap. I knew that if he touched me, I would snap and I was hoping he would.
*sigh* He didn't lay a finger on me. The store manager came walking over and I told him, "You'd better watch me walk to my car." He nodded and stood in front of the store, arguing with the drunkard. It was as I got into my car that I realized I need to find a way, and soon, to relieve my stress. I still don't know what to do, but I'm open to suggestions. Everyday when I leave work, I feel like crying and not just from the tension headache I'm normally sporting. Any suggestions? Anyone? Perhaps some kick boxing? I need something before I snap. I'm so scared I'm going to end up going off on someone at work and I need my job. And I guess going back to smoking isn't an option...Especially since I always feel a bit guilty for doing it. Oh yeah...And it's supposedly bad for your health.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The joys of parenthood...
So, while we went to Hawaii, we had to put Sir Complains A Lot and her sister Hurricane in what's called respite care. (Basically, it's another foster family who watches the kids while foster parents are away.) When Phoenix dropped them off, Sir Complains A Lot cried that she wanted to go to Hawaii with us, that she didn't want to stay there, blah, blah, blah...We knew it was going to happen because all day long she'd been saying, "My tummy hurts. I think I need to stay with you guys." Yeah, that wasn't going to stop our trip. Apparently, while we were gone, Sir Complains A Lot decided the respite caretaker was better than us and started making false accusations.
On one of the days that we were gone, Sir Complains A Lot went to the stand-in, we'll call her Good Time Sally, and was all, "I don't feel safe with Phoenix." Well, she used our real names, but yeah, said she doesn't feel "safe." Are you fucking kidding me? Good Time Sally (And we're calling her this because she took the kids to Peter Piper's Pizza, swimming, skating, and God only knows what else while we were gone. Also, she had her nephew over and has a foster boy who is the same age as Complains A Lot. So, yeah, I'd like to stay there too so I can do fun things!) questions Complains A Lot, "Why is it unsafe?" Complains A Lot had nothing...She was like, "They don't have a door like you. Anyone can come in." (We don't have a security screen.) Her other reasonings, both to Good Time Sally and later to Phoenix were that we sleep with our door closed, it's a two story house, etc...Seriously? That's what the kid has? It's not safe because we don't have a security door and we sleep with our door closed? Oh please. Apparently, this was enough when Good Time Sally called CPS for CPS to want to "disrupt" the kids. (Disrupt meaning take the kids from us.)
Meanwhile, we were in Maui not knowing that any of this was going on at home. We never got a call or anything. When we got home and Phoenix went to pick the kids up,Sir Complains A Lot cried that she didn't want to leave, that she wanted to stay there. Shocker. Later that night, she broke down again and started telling Phoenix that she felt unsafe with us. *rolls eyes* Phoenix told her that Good Time Sally wasn't licensed for two more kids. They'd made an exception for the one week, but that she wouldn't be able to take both of them. Sir Complains A Lot thought it'd be okay to leave Hurricane with us and she could go live with Good Time Sally. Yeah, it's so unsafe that she's willing to leave her little sister here. What the eff?
On Friday we had a meeting with our licensing worker who handles us, not the kids, and she told us exactly what had been happening. She got an email this week from the kids' CPS worker, again saying that we weren't doing what we needed to do. One of the things she mentioned was that we hadn't set up an appointment for Sir Complains A Lot for counseling, but we had just gotten the letter Tuesday night when we got our mail, after 6:30 pm. They were closed when we got it. She also said we hadn't enrolled Complains A Lot in school. Yeah, we got her enrolled on Thursday and school doesn't start until the 15th, so it's not like we were late. Seriously, the CPS worker was making us out to be these horrible people. Our licensing worker, a woman who doesn't really hold back, called her because she didn't feel her tone would come across in an email and told her what's up. You can't keep moving a kid because they say they feel unsafe and then when probed have nothing to back that up. If that's the case, the kid is going to keep doing it. So, the CPS worker either has her head so far up her ass she doesn't know what's going on around her or she's new...I don't know which and neither does our licensing worker. I'm glad we have her on our side, but I'm not too excited to have a kid in our house who is going to make false accusations whenever she thinks it's going to get her what she wants. And it certainly doesn't help that her mom still thinks we're here to take her kids to all the fun places they want to go. The day after we picked them back up, Sir Complains A Lot was talking to her mom on the phone and her mom was saying that it sucked that the kids couldn't go to Hawaii with us (No it didn't. I'm glad they didn't go. That would've ruined my trip!) and that maybe we could take them to Disneyland. WTF? I'm not going to Disneyland anytime soon and I'm certainly not taking these kids! Why would she put that idea in her head? We took the kids to see Winnie the Pooh on Friday and now Complains A Lot seems to like us a bit more. I'm not here to make the kid like me. We take care of her, which is what we're supposed to do. I'm not spending my money to take these kids all over the place. It's just ridiculous!! And CPS is fucking retarded! They're going to disrupt the kids from a house where we take care of them, but they leave kids in bad situations all the time...It's just ridiculous!
On one of the days that we were gone, Sir Complains A Lot went to the stand-in, we'll call her Good Time Sally, and was all, "I don't feel safe with Phoenix." Well, she used our real names, but yeah, said she doesn't feel "safe." Are you fucking kidding me? Good Time Sally (And we're calling her this because she took the kids to Peter Piper's Pizza, swimming, skating, and God only knows what else while we were gone. Also, she had her nephew over and has a foster boy who is the same age as Complains A Lot. So, yeah, I'd like to stay there too so I can do fun things!) questions Complains A Lot, "Why is it unsafe?" Complains A Lot had nothing...She was like, "They don't have a door like you. Anyone can come in." (We don't have a security screen.) Her other reasonings, both to Good Time Sally and later to Phoenix were that we sleep with our door closed, it's a two story house, etc...Seriously? That's what the kid has? It's not safe because we don't have a security door and we sleep with our door closed? Oh please. Apparently, this was enough when Good Time Sally called CPS for CPS to want to "disrupt" the kids. (Disrupt meaning take the kids from us.)
Meanwhile, we were in Maui not knowing that any of this was going on at home. We never got a call or anything. When we got home and Phoenix went to pick the kids up,Sir Complains A Lot cried that she didn't want to leave, that she wanted to stay there. Shocker. Later that night, she broke down again and started telling Phoenix that she felt unsafe with us. *rolls eyes* Phoenix told her that Good Time Sally wasn't licensed for two more kids. They'd made an exception for the one week, but that she wouldn't be able to take both of them. Sir Complains A Lot thought it'd be okay to leave Hurricane with us and she could go live with Good Time Sally. Yeah, it's so unsafe that she's willing to leave her little sister here. What the eff?
On Friday we had a meeting with our licensing worker who handles us, not the kids, and she told us exactly what had been happening. She got an email this week from the kids' CPS worker, again saying that we weren't doing what we needed to do. One of the things she mentioned was that we hadn't set up an appointment for Sir Complains A Lot for counseling, but we had just gotten the letter Tuesday night when we got our mail, after 6:30 pm. They were closed when we got it. She also said we hadn't enrolled Complains A Lot in school. Yeah, we got her enrolled on Thursday and school doesn't start until the 15th, so it's not like we were late. Seriously, the CPS worker was making us out to be these horrible people. Our licensing worker, a woman who doesn't really hold back, called her because she didn't feel her tone would come across in an email and told her what's up. You can't keep moving a kid because they say they feel unsafe and then when probed have nothing to back that up. If that's the case, the kid is going to keep doing it. So, the CPS worker either has her head so far up her ass she doesn't know what's going on around her or she's new...I don't know which and neither does our licensing worker. I'm glad we have her on our side, but I'm not too excited to have a kid in our house who is going to make false accusations whenever she thinks it's going to get her what she wants. And it certainly doesn't help that her mom still thinks we're here to take her kids to all the fun places they want to go. The day after we picked them back up, Sir Complains A Lot was talking to her mom on the phone and her mom was saying that it sucked that the kids couldn't go to Hawaii with us (No it didn't. I'm glad they didn't go. That would've ruined my trip!) and that maybe we could take them to Disneyland. WTF? I'm not going to Disneyland anytime soon and I'm certainly not taking these kids! Why would she put that idea in her head? We took the kids to see Winnie the Pooh on Friday and now Complains A Lot seems to like us a bit more. I'm not here to make the kid like me. We take care of her, which is what we're supposed to do. I'm not spending my money to take these kids all over the place. It's just ridiculous!! And CPS is fucking retarded! They're going to disrupt the kids from a house where we take care of them, but they leave kids in bad situations all the time...It's just ridiculous!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I got this...
Today, we dropped Hurricane and Sir-Complains-A-Lot off at daycare and then went to run errands. After that, we went to go see Larry Crowne. It was all right...Another typical chick flick. I could write a chick flick in my sleep...They're so predictable. It was nice to get away though. After this, we had to go to Autozone because our car doesn't want to start half the time. I told Phoenix, "It's the battery." She says, "Just give it some gas; it'll start." I said, "It's a new car! You don't need to pump the gas to start it like an old car! It's the battery!" Yup...It was the battery. The guy at Autozone tested it and as he was hooking up the machine, he was saying, "Jeep is so stupid. They put these shields on the batteries that are supposed to prevent them from freezing, but they keep them hot and kill them faster." Then he tested it and said, "Yup. Bad battery." So, $110 later we had a new battery and some tools that the guy loaned me so I could change it. It's like one hundred degrees outside and I was out there trying to change the battery...My hair was blowing in my face...I had sweat dripping down my face...Grease all over my hands....And Phoenix says, "You know...You should be wearing something sexy while you do this. That would be hot." *straight face* Are you kidding me? Something sexy? I'm changing a freakin' battery! I was hot, sweat, and greasy! There's nothing sexy about that!! Yeah, I didn't have much to say on that topic...I pretty much said, "I'm going to blog about this." All I really wanted was a baseball cap or something to hold back my hair. Apparently, the baseball cap would've been sexy too.
As I was finishing up, I asked, "Can you get me a napkin to wipe off my hands? I'm all greasy." Phoenix says, "Yes." She goes into the car, gets a napkin, comes back, wipes off part of my arm, then says, "I'm so sweaty." She then proceeds to wipe off her forehead. Again, are you kidding me? I'm greasy and sweaty and she, the one who isn't helping, is using my napkin to wipe off her sweat. This is pretty much our relationship in a nutshell...At the end of putting it all back together, Phoenix says, "I wouldn't have told the guy I could do it myself. I would've let him put it in for me." This is the absolute truth. She will allow everybody to do everything for her, while I will say, "I got this." I say, "I got this" even when I don't got it. I often wonder how the heck we're together since we're like polar opposites...
As I was finishing up, I asked, "Can you get me a napkin to wipe off my hands? I'm all greasy." Phoenix says, "Yes." She goes into the car, gets a napkin, comes back, wipes off part of my arm, then says, "I'm so sweaty." She then proceeds to wipe off her forehead. Again, are you kidding me? I'm greasy and sweaty and she, the one who isn't helping, is using my napkin to wipe off her sweat. This is pretty much our relationship in a nutshell...At the end of putting it all back together, Phoenix says, "I wouldn't have told the guy I could do it myself. I would've let him put it in for me." This is the absolute truth. She will allow everybody to do everything for her, while I will say, "I got this." I say, "I got this" even when I don't got it. I often wonder how the heck we're together since we're like polar opposites...
Monday, July 4, 2011
When it rains, it floods...
I often wonder about the sanity of those people who are like, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." To those people I say, "LIES!" No, I don't say, "Lies," I fucking shout it from the rooftops! LIES, LIES, LIES, LIES!!!
*sigh* So, seriously, life is throwing a whole lot of curve balls at me and I'm doing my best to duck and dodge them, but really, a girl can only duck and dodge for so long. I was not a dodge ball champion, nor do I want to catch all these balls because my clumsy ass can't juggle. I don't even know where to start with this blog...I mean, the stresses just keep coming and coming. There was the whole house buying experience...Done. Survived. Moving...Moving always sucks, but we moved in. Money....Money is always an issue, especially since moving because we had nothing and we needed everything. Then we get my hellhound puppy, who with the help of the ring leader hellhound, has managed to chew up our drip system. Fabulous. Then Phoenix, the week before last, turns on the hose to give the hellhounds water and when she turns it off, it doesn't go off. Great. $40 later a plumber replaced it for us and we're back in business. Then last week, I woke up with horrible heartburn, went to work where the heartburn made my chest cramp so badly that I thought I was dying. Thank God for Mylanta, seriously. Then we got approved for foster care and they put us on the list. We were on the list for all of like two days when they called us for a placement. We got a placement of two kids--One is a 2 year old we'll call Hurricane and the other is a 7 year old we'll call Sir-Complains-A-Lot. They're sisters and they were taken for various reasons. The day they came, I was so stressed I broke out into hives...No joke. Also, we discovered around the time they arrived that the hellhounds had chewed off the insulation for the air conditioner. Fabulous! Yesterday, I spent the day with the kids and Sir-Complains-A-Lot spent the entire day complaining--"I'm bored." "This game is stupid." "I don't like this show." Blah, blah, blah. Perhaps she doesn't get it, but I seriously lack fucking patience. Then Hurricane barely took a nap because Sir-Complains-A-Lot kept trying to check on her and waking her up. Awesome! Then I learned that pull-ups do diddly squat to keep a kid's poop in their pants. Hurricane pooped in my reading room and by the time she came to the stairs (Not even all the way to me) it was all over her legs, her hands, on my carpet, etc...I nearly puked. I cleaned her up with about 900 wipes and then told Phoenix (Who I swear drove slower when I called to tell her what happened) to give her a bath because I was done! DONE! I was already done with Sir-Complains-A-Lot when she was telling me, "Maybe you should think about buying your own house" after we saw a commercial for cheap homes. I was like, "This IS MY house. I bought this house." She was all, "Oh...But it seems like Phoenix (Although she used Phoenix's real name) is the boss." *straight face* Are you kidding me??? I said, "Well, she's not. We're both in charge." To this, I got a blank stare. Some little 7 year old is going to tell me what's up? I don't fucking think so! I then said, "Maybe Phoenix should think about buying her own house." Yeah, I got nothing from that. Whatever. When I told Phoenix she asked, "Who IS the boss?" To which I replied, "Tony Danza..." I got a blank stare from her too, but then she asked again and I said, "Mona?" Then she set me straight. Whatever...She's older than me, I guess it's okay.
So, fast forward to today (A whole day later) and I go to work after putting our old hellhound in a kennel and the other puppy hellhound into the bathroom. We both work, get the kids from the babysitter and come home to find...*drum roll* Water leaking out the front fucking door of the house!! SAY WHAT!? I couldn't get out of the car fast enough and get inside. The water line from the wall to the toilet on our first floor bathroom had busted and water was everywhere! EVERYWHERE!! My reading room--soaked. The bathroom--flooded. The hallway--squishy wet. Half of the main living room--FUCKING WET! It leaked into the garage wall. The humidity in the house is way high. We started by shutting off the water and then we tried to use the shop vac and my steam cleaner to suck up the water. No joke--I turned on my steam cleaner and instantly, it was full and had to be emptied. I cursed...I cried...I threw up twice (Well, attempted. There was nothing in my stomach to throw up.). I called my mom and cried to her, apparently, I was babbling and didn't make sense, so I had to suck it up and start again. I think I clearly got out, "MY HOUSE IS FLOODED!" I then called Statefarm--who, like a good neighbor is there. I got through to their claims people, filed a claim, and they sent people out right away. Now check this out...Within two hours of calling, these dudes showed up to start the drying process and at the same time they showed up, my agent (Who was closed for the holiday) called me from her cell to ask if I was okay and if I needed anything. She said, "This is my cell number. You call me if you need anything at all, okay?" Seriously? I love Statefarm. I will always suggest Statefarm insurance for everybody!! So, before the dudes showed up though, I ran to Lowes and bought a new part for the toilet, replaced it and now it's all good again. We also had to listen to Hurricane and Sir-Complains-A-Lot throw tantrums and complain because we made them stay upstairs. Are you kidding me? What was I supposed to do--tell them it was a fucking slip-and-slide and to have fun??? And Phoenix let them call their mom, but first told the mom that we wouldn't be taking them to fireworks and all that because of what happened and the mom, instead of being like, "Oh, I understand..." was instead disappointed. Oh, you're right, lady, let's forget about the wet floors and take your kids to see some stupid fireworks! She actually suggested we leave the house open so the guys could come in and dry it while we were gone...Yeah, that's safe. *rolls eyes*
The guys just left the house...I now feel like I'm living in a wind tunnel. There are like ten huge fans blowing on the carpet and the walls. Good times. There's also a dehumidifier because it's super humid in here. That goes well with the 100+ degree weather we've got going. I'm at my wit's end. I cannot take anything else being thrown my way. I have a $1000 deductible on the house. We have like exactly that much saved for our Hawaii trip. WTF? Phoenix said, "Well...We won't go." Oh, the hell we aren't! I will be going to Hawaii!! I don't give a flying rat's ass...I'm going! I earned this damn trip. So, to all of you out there going, "Heather, this isn't more than you can handle" I scream, "LIES!" I'm about to go check myself into the nearest loony bin and call it a day. I'm done. DONE, I SAY!
*sigh* So, seriously, life is throwing a whole lot of curve balls at me and I'm doing my best to duck and dodge them, but really, a girl can only duck and dodge for so long. I was not a dodge ball champion, nor do I want to catch all these balls because my clumsy ass can't juggle. I don't even know where to start with this blog...I mean, the stresses just keep coming and coming. There was the whole house buying experience...Done. Survived. Moving...Moving always sucks, but we moved in. Money....Money is always an issue, especially since moving because we had nothing and we needed everything. Then we get my hellhound puppy, who with the help of the ring leader hellhound, has managed to chew up our drip system. Fabulous. Then Phoenix, the week before last, turns on the hose to give the hellhounds water and when she turns it off, it doesn't go off. Great. $40 later a plumber replaced it for us and we're back in business. Then last week, I woke up with horrible heartburn, went to work where the heartburn made my chest cramp so badly that I thought I was dying. Thank God for Mylanta, seriously. Then we got approved for foster care and they put us on the list. We were on the list for all of like two days when they called us for a placement. We got a placement of two kids--One is a 2 year old we'll call Hurricane and the other is a 7 year old we'll call Sir-Complains-A-Lot. They're sisters and they were taken for various reasons. The day they came, I was so stressed I broke out into hives...No joke. Also, we discovered around the time they arrived that the hellhounds had chewed off the insulation for the air conditioner. Fabulous! Yesterday, I spent the day with the kids and Sir-Complains-A-Lot spent the entire day complaining--"I'm bored." "This game is stupid." "I don't like this show." Blah, blah, blah. Perhaps she doesn't get it, but I seriously lack fucking patience. Then Hurricane barely took a nap because Sir-Complains-A-Lot kept trying to check on her and waking her up. Awesome! Then I learned that pull-ups do diddly squat to keep a kid's poop in their pants. Hurricane pooped in my reading room and by the time she came to the stairs (Not even all the way to me) it was all over her legs, her hands, on my carpet, etc...I nearly puked. I cleaned her up with about 900 wipes and then told Phoenix (Who I swear drove slower when I called to tell her what happened) to give her a bath because I was done! DONE! I was already done with Sir-Complains-A-Lot when she was telling me, "Maybe you should think about buying your own house" after we saw a commercial for cheap homes. I was like, "This IS MY house. I bought this house." She was all, "Oh...But it seems like Phoenix (Although she used Phoenix's real name) is the boss." *straight face* Are you kidding me??? I said, "Well, she's not. We're both in charge." To this, I got a blank stare. Some little 7 year old is going to tell me what's up? I don't fucking think so! I then said, "Maybe Phoenix should think about buying her own house." Yeah, I got nothing from that. Whatever. When I told Phoenix she asked, "Who IS the boss?" To which I replied, "Tony Danza..." I got a blank stare from her too, but then she asked again and I said, "Mona?" Then she set me straight. Whatever...She's older than me, I guess it's okay.
So, fast forward to today (A whole day later) and I go to work after putting our old hellhound in a kennel and the other puppy hellhound into the bathroom. We both work, get the kids from the babysitter and come home to find...*drum roll* Water leaking out the front fucking door of the house!! SAY WHAT!? I couldn't get out of the car fast enough and get inside. The water line from the wall to the toilet on our first floor bathroom had busted and water was everywhere! EVERYWHERE!! My reading room--soaked. The bathroom--flooded. The hallway--squishy wet. Half of the main living room--FUCKING WET! It leaked into the garage wall. The humidity in the house is way high. We started by shutting off the water and then we tried to use the shop vac and my steam cleaner to suck up the water. No joke--I turned on my steam cleaner and instantly, it was full and had to be emptied. I cursed...I cried...I threw up twice (Well, attempted. There was nothing in my stomach to throw up.). I called my mom and cried to her, apparently, I was babbling and didn't make sense, so I had to suck it up and start again. I think I clearly got out, "MY HOUSE IS FLOODED!" I then called Statefarm--who, like a good neighbor is there. I got through to their claims people, filed a claim, and they sent people out right away. Now check this out...Within two hours of calling, these dudes showed up to start the drying process and at the same time they showed up, my agent (Who was closed for the holiday) called me from her cell to ask if I was okay and if I needed anything. She said, "This is my cell number. You call me if you need anything at all, okay?" Seriously? I love Statefarm. I will always suggest Statefarm insurance for everybody!! So, before the dudes showed up though, I ran to Lowes and bought a new part for the toilet, replaced it and now it's all good again. We also had to listen to Hurricane and Sir-Complains-A-Lot throw tantrums and complain because we made them stay upstairs. Are you kidding me? What was I supposed to do--tell them it was a fucking slip-and-slide and to have fun??? And Phoenix let them call their mom, but first told the mom that we wouldn't be taking them to fireworks and all that because of what happened and the mom, instead of being like, "Oh, I understand..." was instead disappointed. Oh, you're right, lady, let's forget about the wet floors and take your kids to see some stupid fireworks! She actually suggested we leave the house open so the guys could come in and dry it while we were gone...Yeah, that's safe. *rolls eyes*
The guys just left the house...I now feel like I'm living in a wind tunnel. There are like ten huge fans blowing on the carpet and the walls. Good times. There's also a dehumidifier because it's super humid in here. That goes well with the 100+ degree weather we've got going. I'm at my wit's end. I cannot take anything else being thrown my way. I have a $1000 deductible on the house. We have like exactly that much saved for our Hawaii trip. WTF? Phoenix said, "Well...We won't go." Oh, the hell we aren't! I will be going to Hawaii!! I don't give a flying rat's ass...I'm going! I earned this damn trip. So, to all of you out there going, "Heather, this isn't more than you can handle" I scream, "LIES!" I'm about to go check myself into the nearest loony bin and call it a day. I'm done. DONE, I SAY!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
I hate being a girl...And other not-so-new news...
It's been a while again since I last wrote. I need to get back into the swing of writing daily, but it's been hard. I didn't realize that owning a home was so much work. Not that I thought it would be a walk in the park--I knew better than that--but so many unforeseen things come up. On Thursday, I had planned to spend the day writing because I had the fabulous idea to turn my novel into a play. (When I wrote it, I pictured everything in my head, like a performance or like a movie. Plus, with all the dialogue I wrote, it just seemed natural.) This didn't happen though. No, instead, as I'm cooking breakfast, Phoenix goes out to give water to the dogs and breaks the spigot out back. *grins* She's going to kick my ass for saying that, but she's the last one who touched it before it stopped working! When she turned off the water, it didn't turn off. Well, being the "man" in our relationship, I'm like, "I can fix that." I didn't want to fix it, but I could handle it...So, I go to Lowe's, get some tools and a replacement spigot. When I got home and tried to man-handle the old one off, I found I couldn't get it off. Phoenix, after watching a bunch of do-it-yourself videos on youtube.com, thought perhaps the problem laid inside the spigot--a faulty o-ring. With that in mind, I took apart the spigot, only to break off the part you turn. Yes, I am that buff. *grins* In the end, Phoenix went to Lowe's, talked to a guy, had me send a pic of the spigot, and somehow found the guy who worked there and was a plumber in his spare time. He offered to come fix it for us for $40. Whatever. The fucking thing was soldered on there, so now matter how much I twisted and turned, it wasn't coming off. It was actually more likely that I'd break the pipe before I got it off. lol Whatever. The guy came and fixed it for us. He also offered to install our dishwasher for us for a mere $80. Yeah, we're holding off on that. We paid him $40 for like 20 minutes of work. I wish I got paid that much...
So, the house is a lot of work, especially since we have two dogs. Our dogs get filthy outside and then come inside and roll around on the beige carpet. I hate cleaning carpets. Not to mention, my little puppy Spencer is still working on bladder control. We also still don't have a dryer, so we hang dry all our clothes...This makes doing laundry more work than it really needs to be. I find that most of the time, there's something that needs to be done. And even when I think things are okay, someone comes along and says, "Ummm...You forgot something." Our HOA is a pain in my ass. They sent us a letter with a link to a website so we could see a picture of our house, showing a couple of weeds growing at the end of the driveway. Fucking idiots. With all the time they wasted taking pics, uploading them online, and mailing us a letter, the lazy ass could've gotten out of the car and pulled the five little weeds! The problem is that the ground where they're growing is rock hard. I can't get those things out! So, I took a weed whacker to them and chopped them short. lol
In other news, work still sucks. I've been having a rough time at work for the last few months. I know that everyone gets shitty calls, but I seem to get a lot of them with people who give me bad surveys for shit I didn't do. Like the people who are like, "I don't refer credit cards to friends!" So, they'll score me poorly because of that. Thanks, fucker. Or the old man who had a problem with Delta, but because it's his Delta card through our company, he called me to bitch about it. Well, I can't replace his skymiles he says Delta took for no apparent reason, so I got the bad survey despite the fact I did everything I could to help him. Another person gave me a bad review because they called THE DAY BEFORE they left the country for a month to set it up so they could get cash off their card. We mail out pins and they take 5-7 days to get there and I'm the bad guy because I told them that up front. I even offered to get them an emergency pin that could be used once for up to $500, but that wasn't good enough. Well, I give you a bad review, you stupid piece of shit, for bad planning on a trip! Why do you wait until the last possible second!? Fucking moron. What these people don't get is that these bad surveys affect not only our money, but they affect my employment. If I get any more bad surveys any time soon, I'm going to end up on probation. I have all kinds of great surveys, but the bad ones are weighted so much so that one bad one can severely impact your score. It's sort of like the SATs where if you're wrong, you get docked a point or two, but if you leave it blank, it neither impacts nor detracts from your score. That is the SATs, isn't it? I just remember some test in high school where they were like, "If you don't know, leave it blank. Don't guess wildly--It'll hurt you." Whatever. You get what I'm saying. It's like it takes 10 good surveys to even out a bad one. It's so shitty!! I was number one on the team and now I'm like third from the bottom. I'm so over dealing with people. It doesn't matter how nice I am, they screw me over in the end.
So, I have been giving some real consideration to going back to school. I'd love to be able to go back and study English, preferably Old British Literature, like King Arthur type of literature, but I can't justify the cost of that. No, instead, I've been looking at attending the Art Institute. They have a one-year culinary program and when I'm done, I could be a sous chef somewhere. It's so tempting and I do love cooking...But it's kind of expensive too. Phoenix thinks I should do it, and honestly, I want to do it, but I can't justify it. After going to school for so long to get my BA, I still have nothing to show for it. I don't even know where my degree is...Probably packed in a box somewhere. I mean, I don't use my degree for shit. I don't want another one I can't do anything with. I just...I don't know. I wish I could be more decisive, but I'm not and I don't know how to be. I had told the girl who gave me a tour at the Art Institute to send me an application and I'd work on it. After I hung up with her, I was like, "What the fuck am I doing? I can't go!" Then later, I was like, "Well...Maybe..." *rolls eyes* I hate being a girl. I guess we'll see what happens. I told the girl I couldn't start until October because that's the second term. The first one starts next month and I'll be gone for a week in Hawaii, so that's not going to work. I guess I still have plenty of time to play the Devil's advocate to myself...
So, the house is a lot of work, especially since we have two dogs. Our dogs get filthy outside and then come inside and roll around on the beige carpet. I hate cleaning carpets. Not to mention, my little puppy Spencer is still working on bladder control. We also still don't have a dryer, so we hang dry all our clothes...This makes doing laundry more work than it really needs to be. I find that most of the time, there's something that needs to be done. And even when I think things are okay, someone comes along and says, "Ummm...You forgot something." Our HOA is a pain in my ass. They sent us a letter with a link to a website so we could see a picture of our house, showing a couple of weeds growing at the end of the driveway. Fucking idiots. With all the time they wasted taking pics, uploading them online, and mailing us a letter, the lazy ass could've gotten out of the car and pulled the five little weeds! The problem is that the ground where they're growing is rock hard. I can't get those things out! So, I took a weed whacker to them and chopped them short. lol
In other news, work still sucks. I've been having a rough time at work for the last few months. I know that everyone gets shitty calls, but I seem to get a lot of them with people who give me bad surveys for shit I didn't do. Like the people who are like, "I don't refer credit cards to friends!" So, they'll score me poorly because of that. Thanks, fucker. Or the old man who had a problem with Delta, but because it's his Delta card through our company, he called me to bitch about it. Well, I can't replace his skymiles he says Delta took for no apparent reason, so I got the bad survey despite the fact I did everything I could to help him. Another person gave me a bad review because they called THE DAY BEFORE they left the country for a month to set it up so they could get cash off their card. We mail out pins and they take 5-7 days to get there and I'm the bad guy because I told them that up front. I even offered to get them an emergency pin that could be used once for up to $500, but that wasn't good enough. Well, I give you a bad review, you stupid piece of shit, for bad planning on a trip! Why do you wait until the last possible second!? Fucking moron. What these people don't get is that these bad surveys affect not only our money, but they affect my employment. If I get any more bad surveys any time soon, I'm going to end up on probation. I have all kinds of great surveys, but the bad ones are weighted so much so that one bad one can severely impact your score. It's sort of like the SATs where if you're wrong, you get docked a point or two, but if you leave it blank, it neither impacts nor detracts from your score. That is the SATs, isn't it? I just remember some test in high school where they were like, "If you don't know, leave it blank. Don't guess wildly--It'll hurt you." Whatever. You get what I'm saying. It's like it takes 10 good surveys to even out a bad one. It's so shitty!! I was number one on the team and now I'm like third from the bottom. I'm so over dealing with people. It doesn't matter how nice I am, they screw me over in the end.
So, I have been giving some real consideration to going back to school. I'd love to be able to go back and study English, preferably Old British Literature, like King Arthur type of literature, but I can't justify the cost of that. No, instead, I've been looking at attending the Art Institute. They have a one-year culinary program and when I'm done, I could be a sous chef somewhere. It's so tempting and I do love cooking...But it's kind of expensive too. Phoenix thinks I should do it, and honestly, I want to do it, but I can't justify it. After going to school for so long to get my BA, I still have nothing to show for it. I don't even know where my degree is...Probably packed in a box somewhere. I mean, I don't use my degree for shit. I don't want another one I can't do anything with. I just...I don't know. I wish I could be more decisive, but I'm not and I don't know how to be. I had told the girl who gave me a tour at the Art Institute to send me an application and I'd work on it. After I hung up with her, I was like, "What the fuck am I doing? I can't go!" Then later, I was like, "Well...Maybe..." *rolls eyes* I hate being a girl. I guess we'll see what happens. I told the girl I couldn't start until October because that's the second term. The first one starts next month and I'll be gone for a week in Hawaii, so that's not going to work. I guess I still have plenty of time to play the Devil's advocate to myself...
Sunday, May 29, 2011
There goes the neighborhood...
So, we're in our new house. Well, we have been for like a month now. I know I've been rather quiet on the issue, but yeah, we're moved in. There is still so much to do and there's so many things that you don't think about. Here are a few things we've learned since moving in....
First and foremost, if the house was a foreclosure and sat for a while, bugs moved in. No, seriously, like bugs think they live in the house. The day we moved in, was the day I called Terminix. We got the keys on a Wednesday afternoon and I came to the house to clean. As I vacuumed and mopped, I found a lot of dead bugs, which is gross, but way better than finding live ones, right? So, the next night, after moving our crap in, I killed a cockroach the size of a small rodent on our bedroom wall. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but the thing was fucking huge and gross! I had gone outside, when it was dark, and saw that they were all over the place outside. Apparently, this area is known for having "sewer roaches". Ummm...Gross. So, yeah, I was on the phone with Terminix, more or less saying, "I don't care how much you charge. Get here and kill the bugs!" There were spiders, cockroaches, and God only knows what else. So, here we are, like three weeks later and we're still having issues with black widows. No one wants to see those bitches around the house. I went into the laundry room the other day and the sunlight just happened to catch the silk of the spider's web. I was like, "What the fuck?" I had just been in the laundry room the night before and saw nothing, but like twelve hours later there was a huge web and a ginormous spider, which tried to run when I got close. Of course, my over sized shoe killed her instantly, but still...Yuck! Two days later, Phoenix was cleaning one of the spare rooms and she was all, "Heather!" I dragged my butt upstairs and was like, "What?" She says, "There's a spider!" Honestly, I was picturing a very tiny spider because she's a wussy...But no, it was a pretty good sized black widow. WTF? Where are they coming from? So, I got to kill it. Then I called Terminix again and was like, "Come back! Spray again!" This is on top of the all the cockroaches we've seen...Of course, they've been dead, but they're getting to the door before dying, so let's kill them before they get to my house. I'm just saying...
I had a picture in my head of living in some fantasy land where neighbors are, ummm, neighborly. I have seen my neighbors outside repeatedly and not once has any of them waved, smiled, or anything. I don't know if they're thinking, "There goes the neighborhood...The lesbians have moved in." Or if it's, "Does that girl really have purple hair?" Whatever it is, it sucks. Also, I didn't realize how diverse the neighborhood was. Phoenix fits in better than I do since I haven't really seen any white people in our immediate area, except for jogging through the park behind our house. I'm also pretty sure I should make nice with the guys who live next door since I'm about 99% sure the one guy is a gang-banger drug dealer. I was outside one night while he was talking to some buddies and his phone rings and he seriously tells the guy on the phone, "I told you they're $5 pop. I can't sell them for $3!" Then he hung up and was talking shit about the cheap "nigga" on the phone. Ummm...I'm pretty sure he wasn't selling bootleg DVDs or apples (The latter was suggested by Phoenix.). Another night he was talking about how his buddy was locked up and he was innocent. Mmmmhmmm...They're all innocent and falsely accused.
I also learned that it sucks big time not having local friends. I think had I had friends around, I might've had people to help me with the painting and all that. Instead, it's just been me and Phoenix. It's a lot of work for two broads. And neither one of us is actually a "handyman" or "handygirl". So, we have a hood/microwave and a dishwasher that need to be installed. Plus, we have a couple of ceiling fans that need to be hung, but we're not electricians or knowledgeable about those things either. I think these are some of the things that suck about lesbian relationships...that whole lack of a guy thing. Phoenix keeps trying to watch videos on youtube.com to see how to install these things, but I worry we make fuck it up. I'd prefer not to cut unnecessary holes in my wall, not get shocked, or flood my kitchen...I'm just saying...
So yeah...Moving sucks. We're still not unpacked or settled in. We still have to paint the whole upstairs, plus the bathroom and hall downstairs. We also have curtains and blinds to hang. And to top it all off, my backyard has been overtaken by weeds...I don't know where they came from, but they're everywhere. It's like I have this ever-growing list of things to do. It's crazy.
On a side note, if you haven't gone to see Bridesmaids, you totally should. I haven't laughed that long or hard in a long, long time. Phoenix actually told me that I was that one girl at the movie who laughed so loud. You know the one while you're in the middle of the movie who laughs out loud really loud? Yeah, that was me. I think I laughed so hard because I could picture a couple of girls I know as characters in the movie...In fact, one girl I know so fit the role of Helen in the movie. So, yeah. It's hilarious. Funny lines, funny situations, physical comedy and a special appearance by an old-school music group. How could you go wrong? Go see the damn movie!
First and foremost, if the house was a foreclosure and sat for a while, bugs moved in. No, seriously, like bugs think they live in the house. The day we moved in, was the day I called Terminix. We got the keys on a Wednesday afternoon and I came to the house to clean. As I vacuumed and mopped, I found a lot of dead bugs, which is gross, but way better than finding live ones, right? So, the next night, after moving our crap in, I killed a cockroach the size of a small rodent on our bedroom wall. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but the thing was fucking huge and gross! I had gone outside, when it was dark, and saw that they were all over the place outside. Apparently, this area is known for having "sewer roaches". Ummm...Gross. So, yeah, I was on the phone with Terminix, more or less saying, "I don't care how much you charge. Get here and kill the bugs!" There were spiders, cockroaches, and God only knows what else. So, here we are, like three weeks later and we're still having issues with black widows. No one wants to see those bitches around the house. I went into the laundry room the other day and the sunlight just happened to catch the silk of the spider's web. I was like, "What the fuck?" I had just been in the laundry room the night before and saw nothing, but like twelve hours later there was a huge web and a ginormous spider, which tried to run when I got close. Of course, my over sized shoe killed her instantly, but still...Yuck! Two days later, Phoenix was cleaning one of the spare rooms and she was all, "Heather!" I dragged my butt upstairs and was like, "What?" She says, "There's a spider!" Honestly, I was picturing a very tiny spider because she's a wussy...But no, it was a pretty good sized black widow. WTF? Where are they coming from? So, I got to kill it. Then I called Terminix again and was like, "Come back! Spray again!" This is on top of the all the cockroaches we've seen...Of course, they've been dead, but they're getting to the door before dying, so let's kill them before they get to my house. I'm just saying...
I had a picture in my head of living in some fantasy land where neighbors are, ummm, neighborly. I have seen my neighbors outside repeatedly and not once has any of them waved, smiled, or anything. I don't know if they're thinking, "There goes the neighborhood...The lesbians have moved in." Or if it's, "Does that girl really have purple hair?" Whatever it is, it sucks. Also, I didn't realize how diverse the neighborhood was. Phoenix fits in better than I do since I haven't really seen any white people in our immediate area, except for jogging through the park behind our house. I'm also pretty sure I should make nice with the guys who live next door since I'm about 99% sure the one guy is a gang-banger drug dealer. I was outside one night while he was talking to some buddies and his phone rings and he seriously tells the guy on the phone, "I told you they're $5 pop. I can't sell them for $3!" Then he hung up and was talking shit about the cheap "nigga" on the phone. Ummm...I'm pretty sure he wasn't selling bootleg DVDs or apples (The latter was suggested by Phoenix.). Another night he was talking about how his buddy was locked up and he was innocent. Mmmmhmmm...They're all innocent and falsely accused.
I also learned that it sucks big time not having local friends. I think had I had friends around, I might've had people to help me with the painting and all that. Instead, it's just been me and Phoenix. It's a lot of work for two broads. And neither one of us is actually a "handyman" or "handygirl". So, we have a hood/microwave and a dishwasher that need to be installed. Plus, we have a couple of ceiling fans that need to be hung, but we're not electricians or knowledgeable about those things either. I think these are some of the things that suck about lesbian relationships...that whole lack of a guy thing. Phoenix keeps trying to watch videos on youtube.com to see how to install these things, but I worry we make fuck it up. I'd prefer not to cut unnecessary holes in my wall, not get shocked, or flood my kitchen...I'm just saying...
So yeah...Moving sucks. We're still not unpacked or settled in. We still have to paint the whole upstairs, plus the bathroom and hall downstairs. We also have curtains and blinds to hang. And to top it all off, my backyard has been overtaken by weeds...I don't know where they came from, but they're everywhere. It's like I have this ever-growing list of things to do. It's crazy.
On a side note, if you haven't gone to see Bridesmaids, you totally should. I haven't laughed that long or hard in a long, long time. Phoenix actually told me that I was that one girl at the movie who laughed so loud. You know the one while you're in the middle of the movie who laughs out loud really loud? Yeah, that was me. I think I laughed so hard because I could picture a couple of girls I know as characters in the movie...In fact, one girl I know so fit the role of Helen in the movie. So, yeah. It's hilarious. Funny lines, funny situations, physical comedy and a special appearance by an old-school music group. How could you go wrong? Go see the damn movie!
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