I feel funny...

And not "funny" as in get ready to laugh your asses off, but as in something's amiss. I started taking the thyroid medicine yesterday and I'm not sure what to make of it. I keep finding myself wondering if amongst all the other things going on I am also fighting off a cold or the flu (be that the bird flu, swine flu, monkey flu, elephant flu, cow flu, etc...) or something. Last week I started feeling sort of sick to my stomach, but never fully succumbed to it. I've also been feeling achy all over, which could or could not be a symptom of hypothyroidism. I feel yucky though, like I'm fighting off a flu and my body starts to give in, but then says, "NO! BACK OFF!!!" Then I feel a little better, but then the flu comes back and is like, "HERE'S JOOOOOONNNNYYY!!!" Oh shut up and just picture it, okay? So yeah, I'm not sure who's winning right now. On top of that, I started the blood pressure medication and the thyroid crap and I don't know if I'm coming or going...


Last night at work I started feeling really weird, like my heart felt as though it was going faster (not racing, but not its normal slow pace). I was also sweating...a lot. I know, it's gross, but it's so true. People who know me know I don't really sweat, even when working damned hard. So you ask what I was doing that I was sweating at work? Why bagging French bread, of course. Weird, huh? I got all nauseous too, but again, is it the medicine or a flu-ish bug? Hmm...By the end of the night, I was so tired that I felt as though I were trying to walk through molasses or sand or broken glass or something like that (Okay, I'm not Annie Lennox...I don't walk on broken glass.)...Like each step took so much effort.


Speaking of work, yesterday not long after getting to work, I told the assistant manager, we'll call her Smokey (she's totally a chain-smoker...Yes, I'm jealous of her.), that the hose for the floors is acting up again. She said, "Well, the guys from Kay Chemicals are supposed to be out sometime tonight or tomorrow. We'll tell them then." She totally blew me off though in how she said it, like walking away from me and such. I went back to the deli and told Tortilla, who laughed as I talked mad shit about Smokey. Just as I was finishing talking smack, I heard this on the loud speaker, "Attention all Walmart associates, will Heather from the deli please report to the office? Heather from the deli to the office." I nearly pissed my pants then and there. I spun around to look at Tortilla who wore my same expression of horror as she said, "OH MY GOD! THEY HEARD YOU!" I said, "No they didn't...It's just a coincidence..." Even I didn't believe the shit I was spouting. I walked back to the office as Tortilla still talked smack about how I was going to be fired. She loves working with me, I swear. So, I got to the back and saw Smokey outside the break room waving me to hurry. I walked into the break room and saw our store manager, ummm, I don't have a cool nickname for him because I rarely talk to him...So, we'll call him S&M for "Store Manager"...lol Anyway, so S&M greets me with a cheerful smile, "Hey Heather! How are you today?" I replied that I was fine and asked how he was. Then Smokey leads me to the office and says, "We have to talk to you about your job here." I scanned the office looking for a hint as to what she meant and saw only a bunch of paperwork, including a write up, but I couldn't see the name on it. I was like, "Fuck! I hate this place, but I NEED my job!!" I found that I understood the term I've read in books before about people's bowels turning to liquid. I realized I was panicking. I looked at Smokey, probably with horror on my face, as I asked, "Are you firing me?" She looked at me as though I was crazy and said, "No. But we need to talk. We'll wait for Joe though. He can explain it better." I then thought I was going to get written up because I had an attitude with a customer service woman who might be management, but I'm not sure. She had come over to the deli on Tuesday and copped an attitude with me and Tortilla because there was a line of people near the deli, 90% of whom were looking at all the stupid displays they keep putting up in front of the deli and who didn't want shit from us anyway. I don't appreciate being told how to do my job when I'm in the middle of doing it, you know? So, I'm like, "Shit, here we go...The repercussions of my actions..." Finally, S&M got his coffee to perfection and joined us. He said, "Okay, Heather, tell me about your allergic reaction to the soap in the deli..." My mind was racing...They couldn't fire me for an allergic reaction, right? I knew they couldn't, but I was doubting everything. I told him about the rash and how badly it itches. To my own ears, I sounded like I was about to break down crying or going to have an asthma attack or something. We discussed this for a few moments before he said, "We're going to have to move you. I can't knowingly leave you working in the deli because of your allergic reaction." I nodded and said I understood. He then offered morning shifts, but the Smokey had to speak up and say, "She would responsible for washing the pans she bakes on." He said, "Oh. Well, then she could do stocking for the deli and the meat wall." Again, Smokey started in, but he cut her off. Here's the thing...Smokey isn't my biggest fan right now because I don't want to be like Tortilla and work 2 weeks straight without a day off. I know, I'm such a bitch, huh? Anyway, it has been agreed that by today or tomorrow, I'll find out my fate...Phoenix is joking that I'll end up doing something I don't want, like being a cashier...I swear, the beep, beep, beep, beeping would drive me completely bonkers!! Yes, completely bonkers, not just half way there like Phoenix has done to me already...*grins*


Anyway, back to the whole not feeling right thing...I don't know what it is. I'm tempted to call the doctor, but I don't want to sound like an ass monkey. More or less, I am simply writing this in case I end up hospitalized and incapable of speech. At least someone could tell the doctors how I felt before it all...*laughs wildly* Sometimes I'm so freaking morbid, huh? LOL Whatever. I'm sure I just need to get used to the medicine.


In other news, I've lost about 15 pounds in the last few weeks. Trust me, if you saw me, you wouldn't know it. I asked Phoenix this morning, "If I've lost 15 pounds, where have I lost it from?" My clothes all fit the same. Of course, she poked me in the belly and then laughed. This is what sucks about being so fat...I can lose a turkey off my body and no one notices...Sad, huh? Yes, I said a turkey, as in a Thanksgiving turkey. Picture it! No, I haven't been dieting; I've just been working my ass off at work, which I swear is a workout! Even Bob and Jillian from the Biggest Loser would agree!! Okay, probably not, but whatever...