Last night I had to work, yet again, but this time Tortilla and I made wonderful time and got out at 9:33, which is better than our old record of 9:45! Anyway, before I was able to leave work, Phoenix texted me to tell me she needed (Yes, needed!) pickles and Tylenol PM...I know, could she have asked for a weirder combination? Well, yes she could...She could have asked for Ex-Lax, Baby Powder, Vaseline, a frozen pizza, and fresh corn on the cob, but that's not the point. So, I went through the store and picked up a giant container of those wonderful Claussen pickles (which are the best ones out there), Tylenol PM, and a two-liter of soda because we were getting pizza for dinner. As I go to get in line, my phone rings in my pocket. I had to stop, set everything down, and pull out my phone to answer, only to discover it was Phoenix who had mis-dialed me while trying to call her mom back. During this time, at least 3 people got into line in front of me! BAH! Finally, I made it to the registers and opted to get into the line where the customer service girls work because the one lady always gets a corn dog (or two if we have them) for her break, but she didn't come by that night, even though I had set aside two for her! I figured I would mention it because she was the one the night before who was like, "When I work, I should come by and tell you, so you can put them aside." I saw her, so I had set them aside. Anyway, I got in line and immediately some creeper says, "Good evening" or something to that effect. I turned around and said hi. (I was still in uniform, minus the name tag, thank God! But I figured I should be nice.) When I had turned to look at him, I immediately knew he was creepy. Okay, fine, he just looked creepy. He had too big glasses that looked like they were straight from 1983. Also, he had male-patterned baldness going on with his too long hair to lay down properly on his head, so it sort of stood up, but still wanted to be slicked back. His clothes were slightly too tight for his small frame, but still, he looked very neat and orderly with everything tucked in tightly and tie tied tightly. I found myself thinking that he was the sort of person who had every can in his pantry placed facing exactly the same way and the towels would be hung just so, you know? (Think of the husband in Sleeping with the Enemy.) Creeper for sure. Plus, it was 9:40 at night and all he had was a small container of yogurt. Who runs to Walmart for a container of yogurt??? He then asks how my night is going. I said it was all right to which he replied, "Mine too." Yeah, I didn't ask...He then asked me, "What kind of vessel are you?" I looked at him with a confused look and said, "Sir, I have no idea what you are talking about." He said, "Of course you don't. Are you a vessel of mercy or--" I have no idea what else he said because I couldn't hear anything above the screaming in my head...You know, the screaming thoughts of, "WTF!? Why did I talk to him at all!? Why did I have to stop and answer the damned phone!?" I kept looking forward to see if it was my turn. Finally, it was and I flung my stuff on the counter while Bible-man kept talking. I had no idea what to say and the woman working was asking how I was, etc. I answered her and finally looked back at the man to say, "Sir, I'm sorry, no offense, but it's been a very long day and I'm exhausted. All I want to do is go home and go to bed." He said, "Oh. Yeah, okay." Then he said something about God and, "Don't forget Jesus." It was such an odd statement, like it caught me off guard..."Don't forget Jesus." Hmm...Weirdo.
Upon coming home, I told Phoenix who rolled with laughter. Before I had gone to work, she had said that I was going to go to hell. Nice, huh? She was messing around with me...Although, I think she thinks I'm going to go to hell because I joke around about God too much. Eh, whatever. I figure if the Big Guy can mess with me and send weirdos to come talk to me whenever He wants, I can crack a few jokes at His expense...No? So, whatever. I then joked that if God is trying to send me a message (and let's face it, He's not), then he shouldn't use a creepy messenger. *grins* I also realized that I could've shut the guy up real quick had I simply turned to him in the middle of his speech about God and said, "I'm gay. Your God hates me." I need to remember to use that line more often...I bet it'd shut up those crazies...Either that or get them to try to "fix" me by sending me to a camp to take away my gayness...I always wanted to go to camp...
Today was the breast cancer walk in Tempe and we went. I didn't walk because my knees have been so bad lately and Phoenix didn't want me to hurt myself worse...Even though I was willing to. So, I sat with her niece, Goofy, and with Grumpy. (Grumpy is preggers and looks ready to pop!) It was cool to sit back and watch all the people...I'll post a blog later with pictures. When we got home though, there was a card on our front door from Christ Temple...Yes, a church. Really? Phoenix says, "It's a sign." I said, "No it's not. This is way too subtle. I want something less subtle." Watch...I'm going to be walking down the road one day and have a cross fall on me or something...*grins* I look forward to it; it'll make great blog material!!
Seriously though...What the hell??? So, I ask you, folks, what kind of vessels are you? I am a vessel of humor!! Bwahahaha!!
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