Day of the Jerks...

You know, most people dread Mondays because it's the start of the week and who wants the weekend to end anyway? I'm not too fond of Mondays either, but there's a day I'm starting to hate more than Monday...No, it's not Wednesday. Wednesday is hump day. Who hates hump day? Not I, said the little red Heather. No, it's Tuesdays! Tuesdays fucking suck balls! On Monday, the weekend just ended and you can still kind of ride out the good feelings from Sunday or whatever. But here comes Tuesday and the weekend is long since gone and the next weekend is too far away to even start planning the good times to come. And you know what else Tuesday is? It's the "Day of the Jerks!" Now, just so you know, that's said in like a deep, booming voice of God sort of way, okay? Go back and read it again with that voice in your head. Seriously, go. I'll wait. *taps fingers impatiently* Did you do it? Sounds worse, huh? Well, it should! People are fucking mean on Tuesdays! Not a Tuesday goes by without my being cursed out by someone for some stupid mistake they made. And today was no exception to this rule!


My very first call (Yes, the first call where I was still rubbing the sleep from my eyes and chanting my mantra of, "You got this, Heather. You can do this.") was from this mean, horrible woman who wouldn't listen to a damn thing I was saying. All I'm saying is don't ask me why you have your auto-pay set up to pay like two weeks before the due date. I didn't set the fucking thing up! And if you haven't been hit with any fees, why would you ask how much you could be charged? No one wants that information. Plus, that's like adding gasoline to a smoldering fire; it just makes things worse. Of course, when I told her that if we charge her for insufficient funds (I'm still not sure why she was asking. She already paid for the month.) it would this specific amount, she went off on me about how that's a lot of money. I was like, "I know. I wouldn't want you to be charged that amount." She didn't believe me though. Apparently, she thought I wanted to take her money. *rolls eyes* Mmm-hmm. I don't get your money. Ever. Not even if you say I can have some. Yup, this was a lovely call to start my day.


My calls were okay after that for a while, but still with a few crazies sprinkled in there for good measure. After lunch, I had the most irate man come on the line. For future reference, folks, I am not impressed when you tell me you're a doctor. I might be impressed if you say you're an astronaut or a stand-up comedian or something cool like that, but not a doctor. I don't give a flying rat's ass if you're a doctor or not. So, he comes on the line, tells me he's a doctor, and then tells me about how we've totally done a number on his account and screwed it up royally! He then tells me that he's going to explain this only once and launches into an explanation of what happened. Here's a thought, folks, if you have multiple credit cards with a company, clearly mark your checks so we know which check goes to which account. I'm just saying...So, I get his account up, hear his complaint, and then ask for some identifying information. Of course, this time I wasn't playing with fire--Nope, I was playing with explosives. *lights a stick of dynamite and throws it* He went postal on me and gave me a whole buttload of info I didn't ask for and in the end, he had to answer my question anyway. I love being the winner. I was like, "Thank you for all that, sir, but I still need to know (insert security question here)." I'm not going to lie--I enjoyed making him answer it. He was so pissed. I finally said I'd take care of everything and put him on hold. I did too. I got it all straightened out and his card was all better in the end. There's nothing I love more than making a grown man (or woman) feel sort of like a jackass. By the time he hung up, he sounded very humble and even thanked me quickly before slamming down the phone. Ehhh, whatever. I didn't even flinch though as he threatened me with how he's taken surveys in the past and has given bad reviews because our customer service sucks and no one knows how to do their jobs...No one except me, that is because I fixed it! So, HA! *strikes super hero pose with hair blowing in the wind*


My other adventure today had to do with the dentist...I had some temporary work done to a tooth back in July and I've been meaning to call back to set up a follow-up appointment to get the rest of it done, but I haven't. Plus, they were supposed to call me, but they didn't either. Anyway, so, last night I noticed my gum above this tooth was sore. When I put my finger by it, I discovered a bump. Now we all know damn well that when we feel something out of place, we must push on it. "Oh look...That looks painful and out of place. Let's push on it!" Yeah, so you know that's what I did. It hurt pretty badly. This morning, it was bigger. I'm afraid it's some sort of abscess. So, I called the dentist and explained everything. I then told the receptionist that I can be seen any time after 3:30pm or any time on Saturday. She called me back and left me a message that they have appointments at 10am on Thursday and 11:40am on Friday. Are you fucking kidding me? Are those after 3:30pm or on Saturday??? NO, THEY'RE NOT! WTF!? So, in the end, I had to talk to my trainer to see if I could use some of my sick time to cover me for half a day if I go on Friday. Luckily, I can do this, so I scheduled my appointment. Here's the thing that gets me...I told the woman that it's painful and a bump, which looks like an abscess. She says, "Sounds like it." So, I ask if there's a way to get antibiotics because I'm scared it's going to be bad by Friday and she says, "The doctor will need to see you and decide if antibiotics are what you need." Oh good. So, in the meantime, my gum is going to swell with infection and I'm going to be in huge amounts of pain. Sounds like good times. By Friday, I'll probably look like the Elephant man.


Now, with that pretty picture in your mind, I just want to say I'm so glad I've found a girl who loves me because I can't imagine trying to be out meeting girls with this going on...Or like after the dentist either with half of my face numbed and drool coming out of the side of my mouth. I don't have much game anyway, but I suspect when I look like half of my face doesn't work, I'm not sure I'd be scoring any points with any girls. Then again, I don't really score points with my girl either...These are the times she likes to tease me. I believe this is another sign that we belong together since she's so good at picking on me...And I'm so good at taking it. *grins*