Don't Believe Everything You Read

I would hope that society would be smart enough to know that not everything you read in the news is true...Especially not everything you read on Yahoo news. Look, I have nothing against Yahoo--I use their site all the time for everything from my email to reading the comics to perusing the news, but I know not to believe everything I read. For instance, I know that a woman in Ohio didn't give birth to sextuplets who were born looking like Elvis, with his sideburns and everything. I don't care that it was on the cover of the National Enquirer. I know better. Not too long ago, like maybe a couple of weeks ago, I read an article on Yahoo about a "ufo over Manhattan". Ummm...Really? They weren't really using it as an abbreviation for an unknown ship flying, but as in a mother ship with some aliens checking out the city from above, which, let's face it, is probably the best way to go. NYC smells like piss and garbage!! Hey, don't look at me like that! You know it's true! Anyway, so yeah, there was no alien ship above the city...It was a balloon. *rolls eyes* It always is! People really need to start paying attention to what balloons look like versus what UFOs look like. Let me help you out here....Look at these two examples:


A UFO with aliens and everything...



A bunch of balloons!!




Can you tell the difference now!? Come on!


This isn't the exact point of my rant here, but it sort of is...What I'm getting at is don't believe everything you read or hear or even see. Why am I bringing this up? Because I am so sick and tired of morons calling in who don't want to give us information to pull up their accounts! "No, I will not give you my social security number! I don't know what you'll do with it!" *rolls eyes* Yes, because I have an application for a new credit card going on my second screen and I was planning on using your social security number to get a new card. Yes, that's right, I was hoping that despite the fact that you pay us late constantly and barely make enough money to keep your shop running, I'd be able to get a credit card with your social security number. For the love of all that is holy, I only want the number because it's the second easiest way to pull up an account!


Of course, we all have the geniuses who are like, "I don't want to give you my card number!" Oh, okay. Except that when I finally locate your account and pull it up on my screen the ENTIRE NUMBER SHOWS ANY WAY!! MORON!! I also get to see your address, your phone number, and a host of other information, so let's not be ridiculous. If truly wanted your information, I'd be able to get it. I don't want it though. I am not a criminal mastermind. I have no desire to spend time behind bars...


Yesterday, I had an old man call in who refused to give me his card number and his social security number because he said he read an article online about giving out that information and how dangerous it is. I know, I read the same article and thought it was a bunch of bullshit. Look, I didn't call you and ask for it; you called me and I need this information to find you. He then gave me his last name and got angry when I asked him to spell it. If your last name isn't something common like Smith or Johnson or Jackass, you'd better spell it out. And why is it that when you ask someone to spell something or to give you a number they rattle it off so quickly that you're left going, "Wait, what?" It takes them fifteen minutes to tell you what the fuck they want in the first place and it turns out all they wanted to do was make a payment, but when you ask for information, it suddenly becomes one long word. "My card number is onetwothreefiveeightfortyfiveseventysevendoublezerothreeten! Did you get that? I'm in a hurry!" Yeah, well, you should've thought about that before you spent the last five minutes talking to your assistant about what you want for lunch instead of sharing your information with me. Anyway, back to the old man...So, I found him after scrolling through a bunch of people with his same name and he says, "See, there's more than one way to skin a cat." Thanks for that visual, old man. He then fails his security questions. He can't tell me an address he's lived at or anything. I wanted to pound my head into the desk. He kept insisting someone else set up his password and couldn't I just accept that he's who he says he is. Really? And ten minutes before this, he was worried I would take his information and run with it. But now I should trust he's who he says he is? Really? REALLY!? *pounds head into desk* What is wrong with people!? I think society is retarded...like as a whole.


Here's the message, folks...Don't believe all the shit you read. Don't. You'll thank yourself later for it. There aren't alligators hanging out in the sewers of NY. There also aren't any UFOs flying around over major cities or near airports in China. And you need to give information to your credit card company when you call in. Also, I don't give a flying rat's ass if you've "never been asked that" before when you called in--it's what the computer is asking for and I don't have a way around it unless I ask you more personal questions, so let's not waste anymore time! Just answer the questions!


That is all...Carry on destroying society as a whole...Peace out.