A Letter to Mama...

Okay, it's not a freakin' letter to my mama, although now I'm sure she's racing over here to see what sort of shit I'm talking about her now. So, since you're here, mom--You're funny looking, smell like cheese, and dance like Natalie Merchant in this video:





Well, mostly like in the beginning of the video. (And why does Natalie sound out of breath? Perhaps she should stop dancing and just freakin' sing!) But I digress...This whole title came about because yesterday I asked Phoenix, "How was work?" She said, "It was nothing to write home to mama about. If you write a blog, you should title it 'A Letter to Mama'." So, here it is. Tonight she reminded me that I needed to use her title, but I couldn't remember it. I asked, "Was it 'Punch yo mama in the face'?" She didn't like that and had to remind me. Ehh, whatever...Punch yo mama, write her a letter...Same difference. *grins*


Yeah, so I don't remember much about work yesterday, except that people are stupid. I got blindsided with a headache. I am not dealing well with these headaches. And once my head starts pounding, the littlest of things makes it worse. Like if you give me an attitude, I feel my temples start to pulsate. Keep it up and I swear that my right eye starts feeling like it's going to twitch. Then, because I am hurting so badly, I have zero patience. I have very little normally, but with the headaches I'm like...Can I be negative patience? If so, then yes, I'm negative patience. I don't know how to make this better, but I think that eventually I'll either get used to them, they'll stop, or they'll kill me. I'm hoping for the former two and not the latter one. But whatever. Today I woke up with my headache still in place. God forbid it left me during the night...Then it might've been a better morning. I decided this morning to be proactive with certain arguments we go through each day. I mostly succeeded along the way fighting with Hurricane. Once we got to daycare, all bets were off. She was yelling and screaming at Mr. Mischief before I even got them out of the car because she cannot stand him beating her to the door and I swear, he has no idea it's a race. So, I'm like, "Oh hell no...Not today!" Okay, this is in my head, not out loud. I don't take her out of the car and put her on the ground--Nope, I hold her. Oh man, she starts screaming like I'm killing her and she's screaming, "NO! NO!" and yelling Mr. Mischief's name. Am I kidding you? Of course not. Then she starts kicking me when she realizes I'm not putting her down and she's freaking out. Finally, I put her down and she thinks she's running. Oh hell no...I held her hand. She was like a wild dog on a chain...Or like that dog going after Foghorn Leghorn who keeps running out the length of his rope and then snapping back. Yup, she ran like three steps and then found her hand still in mine. Ha! By the time we made it to the door, she was screaming, yelling, hootin', and hollerin'...One would've thought I was killing this child, but all I was doing was walking her to the classroom. A few people looked at me and I said, "I'm the devil because I won't let her run ahead. I know. I'm okay with that." lol I don't know why people feel the need to watch. Obviously the kid is a brat. I'm not hurting her. And obviously, she's not my kid--I have purple and black hair and she's blonde with blue eyes. lol I was holding her hand and not even hard, just holding it. I wasn't even dragging her, despite the fact that she was trying to drag her feet. We made it to the classroom without her pushing, shoving, or tripping Mr. Mischief, so I think I succeeded. Wait until she realizes this is going to be a daily thing. Bwahahaha...


So, after winning at daycare, I decided that I would be okay with taking on Texas in a challenge at work. We spent the day racing to see who would have the better call handling times and the most calls in the day. I think we both did really well. Her last update showed she had 107 calls. She gets off work thirty minutes before me because she starts thirty minutes before me. When I left, the thing hadn't updated again, so I don't know where I stand. I had been like 10 calls behind her. I suspect we ended very close. I had been in the lead for most of the day. I kept teasing her that I was going to push a button on her phone so she wouldn't get any calls. Bwahahaha! Oh well. She gained the lead when I had a few stupid calls where I could not get the people off the phone. Here's what I don't get...If you're calling me, bitching to me about some horrible experience, tell me what the hell you want. Don't just leave me guessing. "Oh, I went to Disneyland and it was such a horrible time. One of the employees was so rude about accepting your card." Okay, that's not the experience, but just an example. So, if you're looking for a credit or free reward points or whatever, then fucking say it. I don't know what the hell you want and then there's going to be an awkward silence while I sit there wondering why you're calling me since I don't work at Disneyland. I mean, shouldn't you call Disneyland and ask why their employee was so rude? I mean, I can't imagine calling my credit card company to solve my problem with a place of business...I guess I'm just one of those people who takes matters in my own hands though and doesn't rely on strangers to handle my shit. Oh yeah, and I don't spend my spare time looking for handouts. I'm just sayin'...


So, on a side note (And no, sister of mine, this isn't about you...This is specifically about someone I know. I swear on a stack of Bibles it's not you.), what is with people posting everything on facebook? Like I get it...We all share stuff. Sometimes, we share too much. It's whatever. What I don't get is the people who are like, "I love my life. Everything is awesome!" That's at 8:54am. At 8:57am, another update, "I think I'm going to have a smoothie for breakfast. I love strawberries!" 9am, "I made the best smoothie ever! I put bananas in with the strawberries. Time for yoga! My life rocks! I love God!" (Whoa...Bananas and strawberries...Who would've thunk it? And how fast did you drink that fucking smoothie?) 9:05am "I need someone to do yoga with. Anyone game?" 9:15am, "Fuck my life. Everything is fucked. I'm going to kill myself." (Huh? Bad yoga session?) No updates for like eight hours, then at 5:15 "I love my life. I'm going dancing tonight. " So, for 8 hours everyone is like, "Is she dead?" and "Call me!" Dude, don't be a fucking drama queen. Why are you going to do that? If you go back and read your facebook and your statuses look like this, run to a doctor. Don't walk. Don't dance. RUN! Because you are mother freaking bat shit crazy! I just read these things and shake my head. I don't know what is wrong with people. If you're feeling down, fine, but how in the hell did you go from everything is amazing to "I'm sitting in a warm bath with a razor"? I get it--people have bad days. I know, I have them often. This is what I get for dealing with the public. But if my goes to hell in a hand basket, I will tell you why. Usually, my post is like, "People are stupid! *pounds head into desk*" It's funnier to say that though as "People are stoopid." LOL My boss said that one of her daughters, making fun of the younger sister, wrote "(Insert younger daughter's name here) is stoopid." ROFL! I love it! It makes me laugh. And this, people, is why we shouldn't spell phonetically. OH! Today some stupid (stoopid!) lady thought I was dumb because her bank's name was Dacotah Bank. I was like sounding it out and finally asked, "What's the name of your bank?" She laughed, "Oh, I was trying to figure out what you were saying...It's Dakota Bank." Um, no. It's Dacotah, whatever that spells. Look it up...It's a bank in South Dakota. Apparently, they can't spell...I'm just saying. I'm not stupid! But I digress...Back to the subject at hand. Seriously, people...What the fuck? First of all, I barely have time on some days to put one post, let along one post every few minutes. Second, I'm not sure the world cares that I'm making a smoothie, doing yoga, contemplating suicide, and going dancing all in the same day. This leads me back to something I've said time and again...Just because you have a thought, doesn't mean you need to share it with the world. Unless of course you have a blog like mine and then I will put whatever I want! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *grins* Seriously though, what did these people do before facebook, twitter, myspace, google+, and all these sites? Where did they get the attention? And are those places still around? If so, they should go there...


Okay, I think that's enough for me. I have a book to finish writing...And really, I have nothing nice to say today. I'm on two weeks of no smokes. Yay me. *rolls eyes* I think I'm going to take up kick boxing or something like that relieve my tension...Or maybe I should get off my fat ass and start using that elliptical machine in my garage...Hmm...Maybe tomorrow. *heads off to write*