Have I mentioned my hatred of Mondays? If not, please allow me to tell you I fucking despise them. No, I would not ban them though because then Tuesdays would suck balls. It was hella busy today and I just wasn't feeling it. Perhaps it's because when I woke the kids up this morning, Hurricane started her nonsense IMMEDIATELY! I have decided that when we have our own kids, from the ages of 2 until they are 19, I don't want to see them...They can go live with grandma or something. I mean, 6am is a bit early to be kicking your foster brother. The moment I got Mr. Mischief out of bed, Hurricane started her shit with him, pushing, kicking, tripping...Like I don't get it. I felt bad for him this morning though because he was like one eye open, a little drool still on the side of his mouth, his hair standing on end, and she's attacking him, to get him out of her way so she can "win". I should change her name to Charlie Sheen since she's so dead set on "winning". And really, she's not "winning" anything. She's just first to get her hair brushed or shoes on or whatever. And I really don't think he even knows there's a competition. CPS has told us that we won't have him for much longer because he's going home to a relative, which will be great for him...Then Hurricane won't be able to harass him anymore...Poor Mr. Mischief.
So, yeah...I knew it was going to be a rough day when I started it off yelling at her to leave him alone. Then I got to work and my first call was escalated to a supervisor. Yup, fabulous Monday. Anyway, so my cubie, who I swear is NEVER at work (I haven't seen her in over two weeks!) was out yet again, so my ex--Texas-- was sitting her in seat and was having an equally fabulous day. I'm glad Giggles wasn't in today, but I feel bad because she was home sick...That just sucks. So, she left me and Texas to our own devices, which is never good. During the day, we spent time between calls talking shit to each other and watching ridiculous videos like this one...
Gross, right? I know...Perhaps I should've warned that my blog is not for the faint of heart? Ehhh...Too late. Moving on...So, yeah, that's what we do between calls at times. Also, she posted this video in chat for the team to see and said something to the effect of, "I think of Heather at 1:25." For any of you who know me, you'll know why...
Who doesn't love Ren and Stimpy? Good to know this is what co-workers think of me. *grins*
The afternoon seemed to drag on and at like 5:30 or so, I realized that Texas was wearing sweatpants. I asked, "Are you seriously wearing sweatpants to work!?" She said, "No! They're yoga pants! Duh!" Ummm...That's like calling a carpet a rug or water agua...It's all the same fucking thing! I reached out and touched the pants. (Don't be thinking I did something inappropriate! I touched down by her ankle where they were baggy!) These so-called "yoga pants" feel stretchy like sweats...And feel like sweat material. Let's just call a spade a spade and move on! I'm not sure yoga pants are acceptable attire for work...I'm just saying. I mean, it's not like she's doing yoga during or between calls!
I'm not sure what the hell Texas and I were talking about, but she was talking to me as I was sending an email about an account and suddenly she said something like, "Porn is the best thing ever created! It's STD free for the viewer." I slowly turned to her and was like, "Did you just say *voice drops to a low whisper* porn is the best thing ever?" She giggles wildly and says, "Yes!" And again points out the lack of STDs for the viewer. Umm...Okay. Be that as it may, I'm still not sure what porn had to do with the price of eggs. Like there's no clear, logical way of how we got to that. I started to call out for Giggles...I needed someone else to share in this session of TMI. This is way more than I needed to know about Texas. Like for reals. A few moments later, we were talking about something with teachers...She was asking if I had ever seen Liar, Liar because there's a part where Jim Carrey says something like, "Here she comes to wreck the day!" I was like, "Yeah, I vaguely remember that part." She says that when she was in school, she had jokingly said that in a class and her teacher laughed, which she thought made the teacher a dork. I defended the teacher saying that it's funny and teachers have it rough. She then told me she was always nice to her teachers, just not the---and here's where I sort of lost it---the curvy ones. I was like, "Say what? Did you just say the curvy ones? Like you hassled the fatties?" Of course, I couldn't stop laughing as I asked this, but I swear that's what I heard! She was like, "NO! The pervy ones!" Ehh...Whatever. Curvy was funnier.
This makes me think of the other day when I was helping some old man pick a user ID for online. I told him he needed to be creative in his choice, but he wasn't getting it. Like, it's not shocker that things like Brooklyn1 or Florida2 are taken. It's also not surprising that the names of our card types are taken. Like let's get creative here. He keeps going on and on with these stupid things and I'm like, "It's taken. Can we try a different number at the end?" And he's like, "No. I like the number 1." I suggested 11 since it's two ones, but he said, "No. I don't like that. And it makes it too long." Are you kidding me!? He thinks for like nearly a minute after trying literally a dozen or more names and he says, "Try freak1." Okay, that's what I heard. When I asked, trying to stifle my giggle, "Did you just say Freak one?" He started laughing so hard and corrects me. It did break the tension after our like 15 minute call about user ids. I probably would've liked him more if he chose that one...Even had it been "Geek1", I would've like him more. But I didn't like him because in his effort to not be creative, he wasted all the time I was supposed to be off early and instead of leaving 20 minutes early, I left at my usual time. Bah! Still...I'm starting to think I need to get my ears checked. Then again, perhaps it's selective hearing...
So, this was my experience of today without focusing on the assholes on the phone...Instead, I gave you a snippet of what it's like between the calls...Sometimes it almost makes the job bearable, but just barely...
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