Friday, November 16, 2012

The secret to parenting...And why I hate CPS...

Sometimes I find myself really despising CPS...Like I get that they aren't perfect. Obviously they're not; they're a government entity. But when your job is to make sure kids are safe, you better take your job seriously and not be a complete fuck up. I'm just sayin'...I work with people's credit cards and there are so many procedures and policies in place to make sure I don't screw up, but even if I do, it may take a couple of days, but we can fix it. If these people fuck up, kids get hurt. I am not the Lorax. I don't speak for the trees...Or the kids in this case...But something has to be said.
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Chuck had a visit again today and when Phoenix went to pick up Rapunzel from Daycare, one of the women there said that the Case Aid (*rolls eyes* I hate the Case Aid. I think she's a moron...and a lazy ass.) had come in and said that she couldn't go in the back to get Chuck because she had his siblings in the car. His siblings are twin 8-month old girls. She left two babies in the car while she ran into Daycare to pick up Chuck. I know she can't carry three kids, but she should've thought about that before picking the girls up first. Apparently, she's done this in reverse too, leaving Chuck in the car. I'm pretty sure that if I leave my kid unattended, I can get busted for that, but if you work for CPS, it seems it's okay. So, Phoenix called the caseworker to try to report it, but, of course, the caseworker wasn't at work. They never are. She left word for the woman to call us back. When we got back to our house and met the Case Aid to get Chuck back, she told us that the visit was fine and handed over a baby who wasn't quite himself. Normally, he's all smiles and he babbles up a storm lately. Tonight, he was quiet and not at all excited to see Phoenix. Normally, he can't get to her fast enough. Then when she went to give him a bath, he flipped out when he saw the running water. Today was the first unsupervised visit and suddenly, Chuck is back to hating the bath. What the fuck happened on this visit? He just came back not at all himself and I don't know what happened. He's too young to tell us, but the Case Aid keeps saying how great dad is doing. I don't know why they would give him unsupervised visits when he wasn't able to protect the kids from the abuse in the first place! And just a couple of days ago, the Foster Care Review Board had a meeting and found, after reviewing the evidence in the case, that it would be better for the kids (Chuck, his sisters, and brother) to be put up for adoption than going back home. So, if that's the case, why the hell is CPS allowing dad to have visits alone with the kid? I don't get it...I really don't. It doesn't make any sense at all. 

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Now, don't go getting all crazy thinking that I've become a softy...I haven't, but this is a little kid who shouldn't be afraid of things like a bath. He's not my kid and I get that, but even if he doesn't stay with us, he shouldn't go back home. I don't know what they did to him, but they don't treat him nicely at all. And if they take him back there, they will ruin this kid. I don't know any other year and a half year old babies who are cool sitting down reading a book. We had a Pampered Chef party a couple of weeks ago and in the middle of the party when there were kids running around and playing, he took a book and sat off to the side reading his book. His dad, who has the intelligence level of someone like Forest Gump, would kill this kid's drive to read and learn. I'm sure that's a mean thing to say, but it's true and I'll feel really bad if they make him go home. 

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In other news, Phoenix thinks I have trained Rapunzel to be one of my minions. Apparently, she has taken up saying things I say like, "Whoa there, turbo"...And the other day she was telling her sister, "This is nonsense." *grins* All joking aside, I guess 4 year olds don't typically talk like that. We've also fallen into a routine of talking crap to each other. No matter what I say, this kid has a response. And she has an evil laugh, so of course we're BFFs now. lol Seriously though, since we've started getting along and she realizes I'm kidding most of the time, she's now trying to establish herself...like show she's the boss, which doesn't fly with Phoenix at all since she's the Alpha Male...I mean, the Mexican Mom. *laughs* You know what I mean. She's Tony Danza or the boss or whatever. Rapunzel has also tried telling her teacher "no" and refusing to do things. I finally pulled her aside tonight and told her that it's cool to joke around or whatever, but it's not okay to try to tell adults (specifically me, Phoenix, and her teacher) what to do. I reminded her that she's the kid and we're the adults and she listens to us, not vice-versa. Like I kept it light because this kid cries over everything and it makes me feel bad. She started to get all quivery lipped for a moment, but I was like, "Hey, I'm not mad. I don't want you to get in trouble or have to sit in time out." I think that was my buy-in with her. We'll see if any of this works. I have no idea how to be a parent to these kids. They all come with their own baggage and issues. I feel bad for them, but I don't know how to make it better. Like last weekend, Ariel and Rapunzel both told me that they had had dreams about a monster. I find myself wondering who the monster is. Like is it their dad? Is it the thing they think lives in my room and makes the floorboards creak when no one is up there? Who knows? All I know is that I have no clue what I'm doing...But then I think that no one knows what the hell they're doing. I think this is the secret that parents never tell us--they were just as clueless as we are. It's all just a guessing game and we have to hope we're not screwing the kids up too much. And I'm learning that perhaps 4 years old is too young to hone her sarcasm. And maybe Chuck is too young to read Shakespeare. *shrugs* Live and learn, right?

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