Okay fine...I'm not job hunting with a spear, but perhaps that would be easier than the process I've been going through! Last week I went to the Walmart website and filled out their application for employment. Allow me to say that I take great displeasure in answering ridiculous questions like, "If you saw an employee stealing, what would you do?" And then the four answers do not include, "Tell the idiot to split it with you or else you'll rat him out." I'm not saying I'd do that...But I want that option...Seriously though, yes, if I saw someone stealing, I would tell. WTF? Or how about answering the questions with, strongly disagree, disagree, neutral, agree, or strongly agree for things like, "I'm a people person." I want the option to answer with, "Are you on crack? I hate people!!" Perhaps that's the "strongly disagree" answer, huh? Oh well. Apparently, I answered all the questions the way they wanted (Yes, you read that right...Not with my real answers, but with what they want...) because I got a call on Friday for an interview at a Walmart Neighborhood Market around the corner from my house. (Okay, fine, you got me--it's two miles or so away.) I went for the interview yesterday...Bah!
Please, let me tell you all about how I argued that my BA in English means absolutely nothing to me. And how I don't plan on going into teaching any time soon because they're cutting back on teachers so badly. And how my entire education means nothing. And wouldn't they like to hear about my expertise in the food industry as both crew and management? Would you like to know that I did all of this with a smile on my face and did it so convincingly that it scared me? I'm not even kidding here. I have never in my life tried so hard to convince people that I'm a moron, but that's pretty much what I did and I did it well.
The first guy who interviewed me was in charge of the deli and the meat cases. Let's call him, "Phil" as in Philippines, which is where he was from. As soon as I mentioned my BA, he was all, "Oh, so you're looking for teaching positions?" I then explained how bad education is right now and he agreed. Then he looked at my stuff and saw my management experience, which was then again frowned on. Excuse me for being a born leader and not a follower, idiot. Again, I convinced him that I don't mind working my way up or simply being a worker because I need a job. Somehow, I made it through to talk to his boss. She came in and asked me questions. When we got to the part about my education, again, she was frowning on my degree. Once more, I explained how bad education is. She agreed with me and explained that her daughter had trouble with reading comprehension, but her school couldn't help, so she pulled her daughter out of school and put her in a charter school that cost her $10,000 a year. Apparently, it helped. I wanted to be all, "Um, you could've gotten a tutor for cheaper" but I said nothing. After pleading my case, basically insinuating that I would be happy to work for a company where I could excel and move up so that I would never have to hunt for work again and never be a teacher, she went on with her interview. At the end, she brought in the store manager. He asked me a few questions, rapid-fire style, and then said, "What's my name again?" I shot right back all the answers, including his name (It's easy considering that my boss at Burger King and my boss at Pizza Hut had the same name as him...). He said, "Good!" Apparently, I passed his "idiot test". By the by, the jobs they are hiring for are in the deli and bakery...I'm hoping for the bakery because then I'd work early mornings, so Phoenix and I could share the car and so then I could befriend the cake decorators!! I'll show you Ace of Cakes!! Bwahahahahaha--er, um...moving on...
I was the first interview and there were more after me yesterday and more today...I'll know by Thursday if I got the job. What pissed me off is that I told the first guy that I could work any days and any time, but said that I had a couple of trips to California planned, so I would have to have those days off, but other than that, anything is fine. He was all, "Ohhh...So, you'll be calling in a lot?" Umm...Did I say anything at all about calling in, you freakin' moron? NO! I calmly replied, "No, I know the dates in advance...I would just need those days off." He looked at me like he didn't comprehend. He then said to tell his boss and she'd be able to figure out if I was worth hiring. I didn't say crap to her about it. I'll ask for those days off if I get the job. It sucks though because I need the work and I would have to cancel my trips to Cali if need be because I need the money more than I need to see my family and friends...I know--Some of you are offended, but it's just too bad...You don't pay me to see you!
On the plus side of things, I did get a sort of job. I was accepted to write for examiner.com. I don't know how to explain the website, but it's sort of like locals writing about things in their area. For instance, I chose to apply for the relationships-lesbian examiner. My job is to write about relationship-type things with a local flair and not in a blog way. Now I just need to start finding relationship-type things to write about...LOL I'm sure I'll do fine. I won't make anything off it really since they pay by the thousand views...Yes, I'd have to have thousands of views to get any money, but it's still something to add to my resume. We'll see how that goes...
That's it for me. I'm at Barnes and Noble. I came to research publishers. I found a few names and now have addresses to send my stuff into. It sucks I lost the writing contest, but if I could find someone to see the genius that is my writing, I'll go further than with some dumb contest...Right? Right!? Why do I hear crickets!?
No comments:
Post a Comment