Anyone want a cat?

First things first...Walmart finally called this morning and I have orientation at three this afternoon. It was either then or next Wednesday. I'm not sure why they want to take their dear sweet time, but whatever. I chose today and I hope to actually work at some point in time.


In other news, Phoenix had to be in at work at 6am today. I guess this is the new thing for every Friday because she doesn't want to miss Family Game Night (which is every couple of weeks). Also, the woman she switched shifts with needs Friday mornings off for something with her son, so whatever. Here's my issue with it...No, it's not that she gets to go to Family Game Night even though I'll probably be missing it from now on. No, the problem is that she gets up at a little before 5am and I wake up too. I wake up to the alarm clocks. Then I can hear her showering and moving around, so I can't sleep. This wouldn't be a big deal if I went to bed at a normal time, but I don't because every other night we go to bed at like 2am since she doesn't get home until after 9pm, so it just sucks! I can't sleep when she's not here...I know how lame that sounds, but it's true. I've never really lived in an apartment before and I cannot get used to all the noises from other people.


Which leads me to the topic of the cat...I am so close to actually putting the cat outside and watching it walk away. I'm not even kidding. I didn't want a cat in the first place because I am allergic to them. Not in a "Oh my God I can't breathe!" kind of way, but if the cat sleeps on my pillow then I will wake up with a stuffy nose and scratchy throat. Personally, I think cats are gross anyway. People try to claim they're clean, but they're not. They walk around in their litter boxes and then all over your furniture and whatever else they can get on. Our cat recently though has been pissed off at us. She doesn't like it when she's home alone all day long and will tear up things like rolls of toilet paper. Last night she was mad at me because I kicked her off our bed because she was attacking my feet. Next thing I knew she was in the living room tearing up the grocery ads. She's also caught on to my being the one to lock her in kitty prison (the bathroom on the other side of the apartment so I don't have to listen to her meow), so she will hide from me. It took me twenty minutes last night to catch her. By the time I was done messing around with the cat and went to bed, it was a little after 2am and I woke up at 4:55am with Phoenix. I dozed a little until Phoenix left, but I couldn't totally fall asleep because Taboo was meowing at Phoenix and then playing on the bed. When she left, the cat went bonkers. She was freaking out over everything and running through the apartment like a crazed maniac.


I finally dozed off at a little after 8am because the cat had calmed down, but then Phoenix called me at 8:45. I talked to her for a moment and then hung up to go back to sleep. Taboo had woken up from the phone and then came to attack my feet. She retreated under the couch when I sprayed her with the spray bottle, but then she was attacking me from under the couch, which is where I was napping. Then the lady from Walmart called, so I was really awake. At 10:30, I laid back down because I need some sleep. I feel as though my head is swimming. I was asleep for a few minutes when I heard a loud crashing noise. The cat had been asleep on the back of the couch. (She had fallen asleep as she laid there watching people in the courtyard. I like to think that she imagines what it would be like to be a sniper and shooting at the people below...Or at the very least what it would be like to attack them.) Yeah, she wasn't on the couch anymore. She was in the kitchen getting into the trashcan. WTF? There was absolutely nothing in the trash that would entice her, so yeah....In her hurry to get away from me, she knocked over a TV tray and then slammed into Phoenix's nightstand on her side of the bed in our room. I am done with the cat. I just need some sleep, but she won't let me sleep! If I go into the bedroom, she'll follow me and attack my feet. If I stay out here, she gets into stuff to keep me awake. And if I lock her out of the room or put her in the bathroom, she'll meow. I hate the cat and I think she knows that so she messes with me more...


So, I ask...Anyone want a cat? I want someone with rough children to take her. In fact, the rougher, the better. I am going to try to lay down once more and if the cat keeps me from sleeping, I'm throwing her outside where she can fend off the foreigners who live here who might want to eat her...