I've pretty much sealed my fate...

I'm going to end up spending an eternity in hell. No, it's not for being gay. Or for shaking my fist angrily at the sky whenever life gets to me. It's not even for making jokes about the Big Guy from time to time...No, it's going to be for lying to the "What kind of vessel are you?" guy. Yup, he came back to my work again. I know that it takes all kinds of people to make the world go 'round, but really some people are just so out there. Let me tell you how it went...


I was already cursing the universe on Saturday night because on Friday night I had washed the car via a drive-thru car wash because it had been *mumbles* months since the last time we'd washed the car. *rolls eyes* Fine! It's been like 4 months or more since we last washed it. Seriously, I cannot remember when it was last done, but it looked gray and not white. Anyway, it looked AWESOME after the wash. I had checked the weather report earlier and saw there was a 10% chance of rain for the weekend. We'd had a 30% chance of rain weeks before and got nothing! So, I washed the car. Apparently, by getting the car washed, I added enough humidity to the atmosphere to cause it to rain on Saturday night! Stupid rain!! I only realized it was raining because people were coming into my work with umbrellas and shaking them off onto the concrete floor. I was sitting in the deli, taking bets on how long it would be before someone came in and slipped to their death...lol Okay, not really. I was busy working, but I saw the morons shaking out their umbrellas on the floor. Who does that? But I digress...I was working with this lady, we'll call her Lupita, whom I had never worked with before. She only works on the weekends and I've just never worked with her. I've met her before and she's really nice, but yeah...So, I had to get used to working with her. She's a great worker, but we don't have a routine, you know? She was washing dishes while I was bagging bread when some guy asks, "Do you have any more pizzas?" (The Walmart take and bake pizzas are right by the deli.) I have no clue about the pizzas because they're not part of my job, you know? So, I tell him, "Nope. Whatever's out there is all we have." He says, "Oh. That sucks." I said, "Sorry, sir." I then looked at him and he finally turned to face me and I saw it was Vessel Man! AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!! I resisted looking up to the sky and shaking my fist as I yelled, "Curses to you too!" Instead, I smiled and tried to go back to bagging bread, but he said, "Have you tried these pizzas? The supreme is good." I said, "Nope." I wouldn't eat the supreme anyway. Onions and bell peppers don't belong on my pizza!! He said, "You should try them. By the way, how are you?" I said, "I'm fine." He said, "Well that's good. Have I asked you what kind of vessel you are?" I said, "Yup. We've had that conversation." To which he replied, "It's so hard to keep track of all the people I talk to. Have you considered what I told you?" I don't know what he told me that night because I was screaming so loudly in my head. So, I had to lie! I HAD TO! DON'T JUDGE ME! I said, "I go to church, okay? I don't need a new church. I like mine." He said, "That's all that matters. Have a great night." I lied! I haven't been to church since April! APRIL!! I'm going to hell...I should've just said I was gay...


In other news, I had a bit of an adventure on Sunday...Phoenix and I picked up her nieces (All three of them, Grumpy who's super preggers and due in less than two weeks, Little Phoenix, and Goofy) and took them to see some houses again before heading to the whole family Thanksgiving, which is held at a catering hall because there are so many people. So, we started our adventure like two hours later than we planned because Little Phoenix and Goofy had slept in, but we had time to have a mini-adventure. We took off and saw signs for an open house. We stopped and went in to be greeted by some Realtor we'll call Outback Jack. Seriously, he sounded like he was from Australia. Weird. Everyone ditched me and left me lying to this man. Yes, I want to buy a house one day, but not any time soon. I told him we were looking for the next year or so and I'm simply, "Doing my homework." I suppose it's not an outright lie, but still...The house was nice, but not fabulous. It was only $309,000 and it had a HUGE backyard, which was nice. After I was able to get away from Jack, we headed to some model homes. OMG! These were fabulous houses with nice floor plans, came standard with the upgrades, and they were cheaper than the other houses we fell in love with before!! Once again though, I was the one lying to the Realtor. Next time we go, I'm going to pretend to be a mute!! I'm done lying!


After house hunting for a while, we headed to the Casual Male store I like to shop at. They were having an awesome sale over the weekend so I thought I'd pick up some clothes for cheap. YEAH RIGHT! Apparently, the good sale was on Wednesday and Friday and they had crappy stuff on sale over the weekend. The way the ad was set up was confusing and the manager had to show it to me for me to see what the hell he was talking about. I was like, "Well, had I known that, I would've come in on Friday before work!" He said, "Oh. Well, had you called and said you couldn't make it, we would've held stuff for you." What the hell? Why not honor it then? *rolls eyes* I left pissed off. Why would they set up an ad to show stuff on sale for different days on the same page? It made no sense. No, that's a lie...They want to make people (like me) come in when it's convenient, but then the shit isn't on sale and most people will still go, "Oh...Well, I need a new pair of jeans and I'm already here, so..." But not me. I didn't buy shit. Fuckers.


We finally made it to the hall and waited an hour and a half for the rest of the family to show up and to eat. The food was good and I had a good time. Phoenix's family is pretty nice. I also watched as Phoenix played some dice game. I have no idea what it is and I'm not even going to try to describe it. Had she won, she would've won $81 though...She didn't win though. She was one of the finalists, which was exciting, but still...SHE LOST! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Have I ever mentioned how much she hates losing? Well, she does.


Before the family shin-dig was over, work had to call me to ask me to give up my Monday off too. Fuckers. I said I'd go in though because I'm going to have to give up this coming Sunday because I'm going to a Cardinals game. I'm super excited about that. It's really stupid about work though because they make such a big deal about the schedule and how everyone must follow it, but they can't even schedule us correctly!! How hard is it to make sure two people are working each night? I work for morons...


For those of you wondering about the horrible pain I've been having on the right side of my chest/abdomen, no, I have no clue what's happening. I went for an ultrasound and everything came back fine. I called the doctor to get the results, which is how I know all is well, but I pointed out I still have the pain. My doctor's advice was to put ice on it. I should've asked, "On the front or the back since the pain goes all the way through?" Or perhaps I should cut myself open and shove the ice inside? Phoenix wants me to go to this urgent care place not far from here where they have access to x-rays, labs, etc so then I can just go in and get it all taken care of...And I'm holding out until I can no longer live with the pain. It's getting worse though, I swear. I'm tired of hurting. My sister thinks it's an ulcer, but I'm not sure an ulcer would act up from moving around. Like if I walk, it hurts. If I work, it hurts. Sitting for a little while makes it hurt. Standing for a while makes it hurt. I think I'm getting nauseous from the pain, not vice-versa. And it hurts when I eat heavy meals, but I think it's because I'm full...Just like if I drink too much water at once and I feel full, it hurts. So, yeah...I have no clue what it is, but I'm over it. I think I'll give in next week and go see a doctor...Maybe...


Until then...I'm off to work. Peace.