Today, we dropped Hurricane and Sir-Complains-A-Lot off at daycare and then went to run errands. After that, we went to go see Larry Crowne. It was all right...Another typical chick flick. I could write a chick flick in my sleep...They're so predictable. It was nice to get away though. After this, we had to go to Autozone because our car doesn't want to start half the time. I told Phoenix, "It's the battery." She says, "Just give it some gas; it'll start." I said, "It's a new car! You don't need to pump the gas to start it like an old car! It's the battery!" Yup...It was the battery. The guy at Autozone tested it and as he was hooking up the machine, he was saying, "Jeep is so stupid. They put these shields on the batteries that are supposed to prevent them from freezing, but they keep them hot and kill them faster." Then he tested it and said, "Yup. Bad battery." So, $110 later we had a new battery and some tools that the guy loaned me so I could change it. It's like one hundred degrees outside and I was out there trying to change the battery...My hair was blowing in my face...I had sweat dripping down my face...Grease all over my hands....And Phoenix says, "You know...You should be wearing something sexy while you do this. That would be hot." *straight face* Are you kidding me? Something sexy? I'm changing a freakin' battery! I was hot, sweat, and greasy! There's nothing sexy about that!! Yeah, I didn't have much to say on that topic...I pretty much said, "I'm going to blog about this." All I really wanted was a baseball cap or something to hold back my hair. Apparently, the baseball cap would've been sexy too.
As I was finishing up, I asked, "Can you get me a napkin to wipe off my hands? I'm all greasy." Phoenix says, "Yes." She goes into the car, gets a napkin, comes back, wipes off part of my arm, then says, "I'm so sweaty." She then proceeds to wipe off her forehead. Again, are you kidding me? I'm greasy and sweaty and she, the one who isn't helping, is using my napkin to wipe off her sweat. This is pretty much our relationship in a nutshell...At the end of putting it all back together, Phoenix says, "I wouldn't have told the guy I could do it myself. I would've let him put it in for me." This is the absolute truth. She will allow everybody to do everything for her, while I will say, "I got this." I say, "I got this" even when I don't got it. I often wonder how the heck we're together since we're like polar opposites...
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
When it rains, it floods...
I often wonder about the sanity of those people who are like, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." To those people I say, "LIES!" No, I don't say, "Lies," I fucking shout it from the rooftops! LIES, LIES, LIES, LIES!!!
*sigh* So, seriously, life is throwing a whole lot of curve balls at me and I'm doing my best to duck and dodge them, but really, a girl can only duck and dodge for so long. I was not a dodge ball champion, nor do I want to catch all these balls because my clumsy ass can't juggle. I don't even know where to start with this blog...I mean, the stresses just keep coming and coming. There was the whole house buying experience...Done. Survived. Moving...Moving always sucks, but we moved in. Money....Money is always an issue, especially since moving because we had nothing and we needed everything. Then we get my hellhound puppy, who with the help of the ring leader hellhound, has managed to chew up our drip system. Fabulous. Then Phoenix, the week before last, turns on the hose to give the hellhounds water and when she turns it off, it doesn't go off. Great. $40 later a plumber replaced it for us and we're back in business. Then last week, I woke up with horrible heartburn, went to work where the heartburn made my chest cramp so badly that I thought I was dying. Thank God for Mylanta, seriously. Then we got approved for foster care and they put us on the list. We were on the list for all of like two days when they called us for a placement. We got a placement of two kids--One is a 2 year old we'll call Hurricane and the other is a 7 year old we'll call Sir-Complains-A-Lot. They're sisters and they were taken for various reasons. The day they came, I was so stressed I broke out into hives...No joke. Also, we discovered around the time they arrived that the hellhounds had chewed off the insulation for the air conditioner. Fabulous! Yesterday, I spent the day with the kids and Sir-Complains-A-Lot spent the entire day complaining--"I'm bored." "This game is stupid." "I don't like this show." Blah, blah, blah. Perhaps she doesn't get it, but I seriously lack fucking patience. Then Hurricane barely took a nap because Sir-Complains-A-Lot kept trying to check on her and waking her up. Awesome! Then I learned that pull-ups do diddly squat to keep a kid's poop in their pants. Hurricane pooped in my reading room and by the time she came to the stairs (Not even all the way to me) it was all over her legs, her hands, on my carpet, etc...I nearly puked. I cleaned her up with about 900 wipes and then told Phoenix (Who I swear drove slower when I called to tell her what happened) to give her a bath because I was done! DONE! I was already done with Sir-Complains-A-Lot when she was telling me, "Maybe you should think about buying your own house" after we saw a commercial for cheap homes. I was like, "This IS MY house. I bought this house." She was all, "Oh...But it seems like Phoenix (Although she used Phoenix's real name) is the boss." *straight face* Are you kidding me??? I said, "Well, she's not. We're both in charge." To this, I got a blank stare. Some little 7 year old is going to tell me what's up? I don't fucking think so! I then said, "Maybe Phoenix should think about buying her own house." Yeah, I got nothing from that. Whatever. When I told Phoenix she asked, "Who IS the boss?" To which I replied, "Tony Danza..." I got a blank stare from her too, but then she asked again and I said, "Mona?" Then she set me straight. Whatever...She's older than me, I guess it's okay.
So, fast forward to today (A whole day later) and I go to work after putting our old hellhound in a kennel and the other puppy hellhound into the bathroom. We both work, get the kids from the babysitter and come home to find...*drum roll* Water leaking out the front fucking door of the house!! SAY WHAT!? I couldn't get out of the car fast enough and get inside. The water line from the wall to the toilet on our first floor bathroom had busted and water was everywhere! EVERYWHERE!! My reading room--soaked. The bathroom--flooded. The hallway--squishy wet. Half of the main living room--FUCKING WET! It leaked into the garage wall. The humidity in the house is way high. We started by shutting off the water and then we tried to use the shop vac and my steam cleaner to suck up the water. No joke--I turned on my steam cleaner and instantly, it was full and had to be emptied. I cursed...I cried...I threw up twice (Well, attempted. There was nothing in my stomach to throw up.). I called my mom and cried to her, apparently, I was babbling and didn't make sense, so I had to suck it up and start again. I think I clearly got out, "MY HOUSE IS FLOODED!" I then called Statefarm--who, like a good neighbor is there. I got through to their claims people, filed a claim, and they sent people out right away. Now check this out...Within two hours of calling, these dudes showed up to start the drying process and at the same time they showed up, my agent (Who was closed for the holiday) called me from her cell to ask if I was okay and if I needed anything. She said, "This is my cell number. You call me if you need anything at all, okay?" Seriously? I love Statefarm. I will always suggest Statefarm insurance for everybody!! So, before the dudes showed up though, I ran to Lowes and bought a new part for the toilet, replaced it and now it's all good again. We also had to listen to Hurricane and Sir-Complains-A-Lot throw tantrums and complain because we made them stay upstairs. Are you kidding me? What was I supposed to do--tell them it was a fucking slip-and-slide and to have fun??? And Phoenix let them call their mom, but first told the mom that we wouldn't be taking them to fireworks and all that because of what happened and the mom, instead of being like, "Oh, I understand..." was instead disappointed. Oh, you're right, lady, let's forget about the wet floors and take your kids to see some stupid fireworks! She actually suggested we leave the house open so the guys could come in and dry it while we were gone...Yeah, that's safe. *rolls eyes*
The guys just left the house...I now feel like I'm living in a wind tunnel. There are like ten huge fans blowing on the carpet and the walls. Good times. There's also a dehumidifier because it's super humid in here. That goes well with the 100+ degree weather we've got going. I'm at my wit's end. I cannot take anything else being thrown my way. I have a $1000 deductible on the house. We have like exactly that much saved for our Hawaii trip. WTF? Phoenix said, "Well...We won't go." Oh, the hell we aren't! I will be going to Hawaii!! I don't give a flying rat's ass...I'm going! I earned this damn trip. So, to all of you out there going, "Heather, this isn't more than you can handle" I scream, "LIES!" I'm about to go check myself into the nearest loony bin and call it a day. I'm done. DONE, I SAY!
*sigh* So, seriously, life is throwing a whole lot of curve balls at me and I'm doing my best to duck and dodge them, but really, a girl can only duck and dodge for so long. I was not a dodge ball champion, nor do I want to catch all these balls because my clumsy ass can't juggle. I don't even know where to start with this blog...I mean, the stresses just keep coming and coming. There was the whole house buying experience...Done. Survived. Moving...Moving always sucks, but we moved in. Money....Money is always an issue, especially since moving because we had nothing and we needed everything. Then we get my hellhound puppy, who with the help of the ring leader hellhound, has managed to chew up our drip system. Fabulous. Then Phoenix, the week before last, turns on the hose to give the hellhounds water and when she turns it off, it doesn't go off. Great. $40 later a plumber replaced it for us and we're back in business. Then last week, I woke up with horrible heartburn, went to work where the heartburn made my chest cramp so badly that I thought I was dying. Thank God for Mylanta, seriously. Then we got approved for foster care and they put us on the list. We were on the list for all of like two days when they called us for a placement. We got a placement of two kids--One is a 2 year old we'll call Hurricane and the other is a 7 year old we'll call Sir-Complains-A-Lot. They're sisters and they were taken for various reasons. The day they came, I was so stressed I broke out into hives...No joke. Also, we discovered around the time they arrived that the hellhounds had chewed off the insulation for the air conditioner. Fabulous! Yesterday, I spent the day with the kids and Sir-Complains-A-Lot spent the entire day complaining--"I'm bored." "This game is stupid." "I don't like this show." Blah, blah, blah. Perhaps she doesn't get it, but I seriously lack fucking patience. Then Hurricane barely took a nap because Sir-Complains-A-Lot kept trying to check on her and waking her up. Awesome! Then I learned that pull-ups do diddly squat to keep a kid's poop in their pants. Hurricane pooped in my reading room and by the time she came to the stairs (Not even all the way to me) it was all over her legs, her hands, on my carpet, etc...I nearly puked. I cleaned her up with about 900 wipes and then told Phoenix (Who I swear drove slower when I called to tell her what happened) to give her a bath because I was done! DONE! I was already done with Sir-Complains-A-Lot when she was telling me, "Maybe you should think about buying your own house" after we saw a commercial for cheap homes. I was like, "This IS MY house. I bought this house." She was all, "Oh...But it seems like Phoenix (Although she used Phoenix's real name) is the boss." *straight face* Are you kidding me??? I said, "Well, she's not. We're both in charge." To this, I got a blank stare. Some little 7 year old is going to tell me what's up? I don't fucking think so! I then said, "Maybe Phoenix should think about buying her own house." Yeah, I got nothing from that. Whatever. When I told Phoenix she asked, "Who IS the boss?" To which I replied, "Tony Danza..." I got a blank stare from her too, but then she asked again and I said, "Mona?" Then she set me straight. Whatever...She's older than me, I guess it's okay.
So, fast forward to today (A whole day later) and I go to work after putting our old hellhound in a kennel and the other puppy hellhound into the bathroom. We both work, get the kids from the babysitter and come home to find...*drum roll* Water leaking out the front fucking door of the house!! SAY WHAT!? I couldn't get out of the car fast enough and get inside. The water line from the wall to the toilet on our first floor bathroom had busted and water was everywhere! EVERYWHERE!! My reading room--soaked. The bathroom--flooded. The hallway--squishy wet. Half of the main living room--FUCKING WET! It leaked into the garage wall. The humidity in the house is way high. We started by shutting off the water and then we tried to use the shop vac and my steam cleaner to suck up the water. No joke--I turned on my steam cleaner and instantly, it was full and had to be emptied. I cursed...I cried...I threw up twice (Well, attempted. There was nothing in my stomach to throw up.). I called my mom and cried to her, apparently, I was babbling and didn't make sense, so I had to suck it up and start again. I think I clearly got out, "MY HOUSE IS FLOODED!" I then called Statefarm--who, like a good neighbor is there. I got through to their claims people, filed a claim, and they sent people out right away. Now check this out...Within two hours of calling, these dudes showed up to start the drying process and at the same time they showed up, my agent (Who was closed for the holiday) called me from her cell to ask if I was okay and if I needed anything. She said, "This is my cell number. You call me if you need anything at all, okay?" Seriously? I love Statefarm. I will always suggest Statefarm insurance for everybody!! So, before the dudes showed up though, I ran to Lowes and bought a new part for the toilet, replaced it and now it's all good again. We also had to listen to Hurricane and Sir-Complains-A-Lot throw tantrums and complain because we made them stay upstairs. Are you kidding me? What was I supposed to do--tell them it was a fucking slip-and-slide and to have fun??? And Phoenix let them call their mom, but first told the mom that we wouldn't be taking them to fireworks and all that because of what happened and the mom, instead of being like, "Oh, I understand..." was instead disappointed. Oh, you're right, lady, let's forget about the wet floors and take your kids to see some stupid fireworks! She actually suggested we leave the house open so the guys could come in and dry it while we were gone...Yeah, that's safe. *rolls eyes*
The guys just left the house...I now feel like I'm living in a wind tunnel. There are like ten huge fans blowing on the carpet and the walls. Good times. There's also a dehumidifier because it's super humid in here. That goes well with the 100+ degree weather we've got going. I'm at my wit's end. I cannot take anything else being thrown my way. I have a $1000 deductible on the house. We have like exactly that much saved for our Hawaii trip. WTF? Phoenix said, "Well...We won't go." Oh, the hell we aren't! I will be going to Hawaii!! I don't give a flying rat's ass...I'm going! I earned this damn trip. So, to all of you out there going, "Heather, this isn't more than you can handle" I scream, "LIES!" I'm about to go check myself into the nearest loony bin and call it a day. I'm done. DONE, I SAY!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
I hate being a girl...And other not-so-new news...
It's been a while again since I last wrote. I need to get back into the swing of writing daily, but it's been hard. I didn't realize that owning a home was so much work. Not that I thought it would be a walk in the park--I knew better than that--but so many unforeseen things come up. On Thursday, I had planned to spend the day writing because I had the fabulous idea to turn my novel into a play. (When I wrote it, I pictured everything in my head, like a performance or like a movie. Plus, with all the dialogue I wrote, it just seemed natural.) This didn't happen though. No, instead, as I'm cooking breakfast, Phoenix goes out to give water to the dogs and breaks the spigot out back. *grins* She's going to kick my ass for saying that, but she's the last one who touched it before it stopped working! When she turned off the water, it didn't turn off. Well, being the "man" in our relationship, I'm like, "I can fix that." I didn't want to fix it, but I could handle it...So, I go to Lowe's, get some tools and a replacement spigot. When I got home and tried to man-handle the old one off, I found I couldn't get it off. Phoenix, after watching a bunch of do-it-yourself videos on youtube.com, thought perhaps the problem laid inside the spigot--a faulty o-ring. With that in mind, I took apart the spigot, only to break off the part you turn. Yes, I am that buff. *grins* In the end, Phoenix went to Lowe's, talked to a guy, had me send a pic of the spigot, and somehow found the guy who worked there and was a plumber in his spare time. He offered to come fix it for us for $40. Whatever. The fucking thing was soldered on there, so now matter how much I twisted and turned, it wasn't coming off. It was actually more likely that I'd break the pipe before I got it off. lol Whatever. The guy came and fixed it for us. He also offered to install our dishwasher for us for a mere $80. Yeah, we're holding off on that. We paid him $40 for like 20 minutes of work. I wish I got paid that much...
So, the house is a lot of work, especially since we have two dogs. Our dogs get filthy outside and then come inside and roll around on the beige carpet. I hate cleaning carpets. Not to mention, my little puppy Spencer is still working on bladder control. We also still don't have a dryer, so we hang dry all our clothes...This makes doing laundry more work than it really needs to be. I find that most of the time, there's something that needs to be done. And even when I think things are okay, someone comes along and says, "Ummm...You forgot something." Our HOA is a pain in my ass. They sent us a letter with a link to a website so we could see a picture of our house, showing a couple of weeds growing at the end of the driveway. Fucking idiots. With all the time they wasted taking pics, uploading them online, and mailing us a letter, the lazy ass could've gotten out of the car and pulled the five little weeds! The problem is that the ground where they're growing is rock hard. I can't get those things out! So, I took a weed whacker to them and chopped them short. lol
In other news, work still sucks. I've been having a rough time at work for the last few months. I know that everyone gets shitty calls, but I seem to get a lot of them with people who give me bad surveys for shit I didn't do. Like the people who are like, "I don't refer credit cards to friends!" So, they'll score me poorly because of that. Thanks, fucker. Or the old man who had a problem with Delta, but because it's his Delta card through our company, he called me to bitch about it. Well, I can't replace his skymiles he says Delta took for no apparent reason, so I got the bad survey despite the fact I did everything I could to help him. Another person gave me a bad review because they called THE DAY BEFORE they left the country for a month to set it up so they could get cash off their card. We mail out pins and they take 5-7 days to get there and I'm the bad guy because I told them that up front. I even offered to get them an emergency pin that could be used once for up to $500, but that wasn't good enough. Well, I give you a bad review, you stupid piece of shit, for bad planning on a trip! Why do you wait until the last possible second!? Fucking moron. What these people don't get is that these bad surveys affect not only our money, but they affect my employment. If I get any more bad surveys any time soon, I'm going to end up on probation. I have all kinds of great surveys, but the bad ones are weighted so much so that one bad one can severely impact your score. It's sort of like the SATs where if you're wrong, you get docked a point or two, but if you leave it blank, it neither impacts nor detracts from your score. That is the SATs, isn't it? I just remember some test in high school where they were like, "If you don't know, leave it blank. Don't guess wildly--It'll hurt you." Whatever. You get what I'm saying. It's like it takes 10 good surveys to even out a bad one. It's so shitty!! I was number one on the team and now I'm like third from the bottom. I'm so over dealing with people. It doesn't matter how nice I am, they screw me over in the end.
So, I have been giving some real consideration to going back to school. I'd love to be able to go back and study English, preferably Old British Literature, like King Arthur type of literature, but I can't justify the cost of that. No, instead, I've been looking at attending the Art Institute. They have a one-year culinary program and when I'm done, I could be a sous chef somewhere. It's so tempting and I do love cooking...But it's kind of expensive too. Phoenix thinks I should do it, and honestly, I want to do it, but I can't justify it. After going to school for so long to get my BA, I still have nothing to show for it. I don't even know where my degree is...Probably packed in a box somewhere. I mean, I don't use my degree for shit. I don't want another one I can't do anything with. I just...I don't know. I wish I could be more decisive, but I'm not and I don't know how to be. I had told the girl who gave me a tour at the Art Institute to send me an application and I'd work on it. After I hung up with her, I was like, "What the fuck am I doing? I can't go!" Then later, I was like, "Well...Maybe..." *rolls eyes* I hate being a girl. I guess we'll see what happens. I told the girl I couldn't start until October because that's the second term. The first one starts next month and I'll be gone for a week in Hawaii, so that's not going to work. I guess I still have plenty of time to play the Devil's advocate to myself...
So, the house is a lot of work, especially since we have two dogs. Our dogs get filthy outside and then come inside and roll around on the beige carpet. I hate cleaning carpets. Not to mention, my little puppy Spencer is still working on bladder control. We also still don't have a dryer, so we hang dry all our clothes...This makes doing laundry more work than it really needs to be. I find that most of the time, there's something that needs to be done. And even when I think things are okay, someone comes along and says, "Ummm...You forgot something." Our HOA is a pain in my ass. They sent us a letter with a link to a website so we could see a picture of our house, showing a couple of weeds growing at the end of the driveway. Fucking idiots. With all the time they wasted taking pics, uploading them online, and mailing us a letter, the lazy ass could've gotten out of the car and pulled the five little weeds! The problem is that the ground where they're growing is rock hard. I can't get those things out! So, I took a weed whacker to them and chopped them short. lol
In other news, work still sucks. I've been having a rough time at work for the last few months. I know that everyone gets shitty calls, but I seem to get a lot of them with people who give me bad surveys for shit I didn't do. Like the people who are like, "I don't refer credit cards to friends!" So, they'll score me poorly because of that. Thanks, fucker. Or the old man who had a problem with Delta, but because it's his Delta card through our company, he called me to bitch about it. Well, I can't replace his skymiles he says Delta took for no apparent reason, so I got the bad survey despite the fact I did everything I could to help him. Another person gave me a bad review because they called THE DAY BEFORE they left the country for a month to set it up so they could get cash off their card. We mail out pins and they take 5-7 days to get there and I'm the bad guy because I told them that up front. I even offered to get them an emergency pin that could be used once for up to $500, but that wasn't good enough. Well, I give you a bad review, you stupid piece of shit, for bad planning on a trip! Why do you wait until the last possible second!? Fucking moron. What these people don't get is that these bad surveys affect not only our money, but they affect my employment. If I get any more bad surveys any time soon, I'm going to end up on probation. I have all kinds of great surveys, but the bad ones are weighted so much so that one bad one can severely impact your score. It's sort of like the SATs where if you're wrong, you get docked a point or two, but if you leave it blank, it neither impacts nor detracts from your score. That is the SATs, isn't it? I just remember some test in high school where they were like, "If you don't know, leave it blank. Don't guess wildly--It'll hurt you." Whatever. You get what I'm saying. It's like it takes 10 good surveys to even out a bad one. It's so shitty!! I was number one on the team and now I'm like third from the bottom. I'm so over dealing with people. It doesn't matter how nice I am, they screw me over in the end.
So, I have been giving some real consideration to going back to school. I'd love to be able to go back and study English, preferably Old British Literature, like King Arthur type of literature, but I can't justify the cost of that. No, instead, I've been looking at attending the Art Institute. They have a one-year culinary program and when I'm done, I could be a sous chef somewhere. It's so tempting and I do love cooking...But it's kind of expensive too. Phoenix thinks I should do it, and honestly, I want to do it, but I can't justify it. After going to school for so long to get my BA, I still have nothing to show for it. I don't even know where my degree is...Probably packed in a box somewhere. I mean, I don't use my degree for shit. I don't want another one I can't do anything with. I just...I don't know. I wish I could be more decisive, but I'm not and I don't know how to be. I had told the girl who gave me a tour at the Art Institute to send me an application and I'd work on it. After I hung up with her, I was like, "What the fuck am I doing? I can't go!" Then later, I was like, "Well...Maybe..." *rolls eyes* I hate being a girl. I guess we'll see what happens. I told the girl I couldn't start until October because that's the second term. The first one starts next month and I'll be gone for a week in Hawaii, so that's not going to work. I guess I still have plenty of time to play the Devil's advocate to myself...
Sunday, May 29, 2011
There goes the neighborhood...
So, we're in our new house. Well, we have been for like a month now. I know I've been rather quiet on the issue, but yeah, we're moved in. There is still so much to do and there's so many things that you don't think about. Here are a few things we've learned since moving in....
First and foremost, if the house was a foreclosure and sat for a while, bugs moved in. No, seriously, like bugs think they live in the house. The day we moved in, was the day I called Terminix. We got the keys on a Wednesday afternoon and I came to the house to clean. As I vacuumed and mopped, I found a lot of dead bugs, which is gross, but way better than finding live ones, right? So, the next night, after moving our crap in, I killed a cockroach the size of a small rodent on our bedroom wall. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but the thing was fucking huge and gross! I had gone outside, when it was dark, and saw that they were all over the place outside. Apparently, this area is known for having "sewer roaches". Ummm...Gross. So, yeah, I was on the phone with Terminix, more or less saying, "I don't care how much you charge. Get here and kill the bugs!" There were spiders, cockroaches, and God only knows what else. So, here we are, like three weeks later and we're still having issues with black widows. No one wants to see those bitches around the house. I went into the laundry room the other day and the sunlight just happened to catch the silk of the spider's web. I was like, "What the fuck?" I had just been in the laundry room the night before and saw nothing, but like twelve hours later there was a huge web and a ginormous spider, which tried to run when I got close. Of course, my over sized shoe killed her instantly, but still...Yuck! Two days later, Phoenix was cleaning one of the spare rooms and she was all, "Heather!" I dragged my butt upstairs and was like, "What?" She says, "There's a spider!" Honestly, I was picturing a very tiny spider because she's a wussy...But no, it was a pretty good sized black widow. WTF? Where are they coming from? So, I got to kill it. Then I called Terminix again and was like, "Come back! Spray again!" This is on top of the all the cockroaches we've seen...Of course, they've been dead, but they're getting to the door before dying, so let's kill them before they get to my house. I'm just saying...
I had a picture in my head of living in some fantasy land where neighbors are, ummm, neighborly. I have seen my neighbors outside repeatedly and not once has any of them waved, smiled, or anything. I don't know if they're thinking, "There goes the neighborhood...The lesbians have moved in." Or if it's, "Does that girl really have purple hair?" Whatever it is, it sucks. Also, I didn't realize how diverse the neighborhood was. Phoenix fits in better than I do since I haven't really seen any white people in our immediate area, except for jogging through the park behind our house. I'm also pretty sure I should make nice with the guys who live next door since I'm about 99% sure the one guy is a gang-banger drug dealer. I was outside one night while he was talking to some buddies and his phone rings and he seriously tells the guy on the phone, "I told you they're $5 pop. I can't sell them for $3!" Then he hung up and was talking shit about the cheap "nigga" on the phone. Ummm...I'm pretty sure he wasn't selling bootleg DVDs or apples (The latter was suggested by Phoenix.). Another night he was talking about how his buddy was locked up and he was innocent. Mmmmhmmm...They're all innocent and falsely accused.
I also learned that it sucks big time not having local friends. I think had I had friends around, I might've had people to help me with the painting and all that. Instead, it's just been me and Phoenix. It's a lot of work for two broads. And neither one of us is actually a "handyman" or "handygirl". So, we have a hood/microwave and a dishwasher that need to be installed. Plus, we have a couple of ceiling fans that need to be hung, but we're not electricians or knowledgeable about those things either. I think these are some of the things that suck about lesbian relationships...that whole lack of a guy thing. Phoenix keeps trying to watch videos on youtube.com to see how to install these things, but I worry we make fuck it up. I'd prefer not to cut unnecessary holes in my wall, not get shocked, or flood my kitchen...I'm just saying...
So yeah...Moving sucks. We're still not unpacked or settled in. We still have to paint the whole upstairs, plus the bathroom and hall downstairs. We also have curtains and blinds to hang. And to top it all off, my backyard has been overtaken by weeds...I don't know where they came from, but they're everywhere. It's like I have this ever-growing list of things to do. It's crazy.
On a side note, if you haven't gone to see Bridesmaids, you totally should. I haven't laughed that long or hard in a long, long time. Phoenix actually told me that I was that one girl at the movie who laughed so loud. You know the one while you're in the middle of the movie who laughs out loud really loud? Yeah, that was me. I think I laughed so hard because I could picture a couple of girls I know as characters in the movie...In fact, one girl I know so fit the role of Helen in the movie. So, yeah. It's hilarious. Funny lines, funny situations, physical comedy and a special appearance by an old-school music group. How could you go wrong? Go see the damn movie!
First and foremost, if the house was a foreclosure and sat for a while, bugs moved in. No, seriously, like bugs think they live in the house. The day we moved in, was the day I called Terminix. We got the keys on a Wednesday afternoon and I came to the house to clean. As I vacuumed and mopped, I found a lot of dead bugs, which is gross, but way better than finding live ones, right? So, the next night, after moving our crap in, I killed a cockroach the size of a small rodent on our bedroom wall. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but the thing was fucking huge and gross! I had gone outside, when it was dark, and saw that they were all over the place outside. Apparently, this area is known for having "sewer roaches". Ummm...Gross. So, yeah, I was on the phone with Terminix, more or less saying, "I don't care how much you charge. Get here and kill the bugs!" There were spiders, cockroaches, and God only knows what else. So, here we are, like three weeks later and we're still having issues with black widows. No one wants to see those bitches around the house. I went into the laundry room the other day and the sunlight just happened to catch the silk of the spider's web. I was like, "What the fuck?" I had just been in the laundry room the night before and saw nothing, but like twelve hours later there was a huge web and a ginormous spider, which tried to run when I got close. Of course, my over sized shoe killed her instantly, but still...Yuck! Two days later, Phoenix was cleaning one of the spare rooms and she was all, "Heather!" I dragged my butt upstairs and was like, "What?" She says, "There's a spider!" Honestly, I was picturing a very tiny spider because she's a wussy...But no, it was a pretty good sized black widow. WTF? Where are they coming from? So, I got to kill it. Then I called Terminix again and was like, "Come back! Spray again!" This is on top of the all the cockroaches we've seen...Of course, they've been dead, but they're getting to the door before dying, so let's kill them before they get to my house. I'm just saying...
I had a picture in my head of living in some fantasy land where neighbors are, ummm, neighborly. I have seen my neighbors outside repeatedly and not once has any of them waved, smiled, or anything. I don't know if they're thinking, "There goes the neighborhood...The lesbians have moved in." Or if it's, "Does that girl really have purple hair?" Whatever it is, it sucks. Also, I didn't realize how diverse the neighborhood was. Phoenix fits in better than I do since I haven't really seen any white people in our immediate area, except for jogging through the park behind our house. I'm also pretty sure I should make nice with the guys who live next door since I'm about 99% sure the one guy is a gang-banger drug dealer. I was outside one night while he was talking to some buddies and his phone rings and he seriously tells the guy on the phone, "I told you they're $5 pop. I can't sell them for $3!" Then he hung up and was talking shit about the cheap "nigga" on the phone. Ummm...I'm pretty sure he wasn't selling bootleg DVDs or apples (The latter was suggested by Phoenix.). Another night he was talking about how his buddy was locked up and he was innocent. Mmmmhmmm...They're all innocent and falsely accused.
I also learned that it sucks big time not having local friends. I think had I had friends around, I might've had people to help me with the painting and all that. Instead, it's just been me and Phoenix. It's a lot of work for two broads. And neither one of us is actually a "handyman" or "handygirl". So, we have a hood/microwave and a dishwasher that need to be installed. Plus, we have a couple of ceiling fans that need to be hung, but we're not electricians or knowledgeable about those things either. I think these are some of the things that suck about lesbian relationships...that whole lack of a guy thing. Phoenix keeps trying to watch videos on youtube.com to see how to install these things, but I worry we make fuck it up. I'd prefer not to cut unnecessary holes in my wall, not get shocked, or flood my kitchen...I'm just saying...
So yeah...Moving sucks. We're still not unpacked or settled in. We still have to paint the whole upstairs, plus the bathroom and hall downstairs. We also have curtains and blinds to hang. And to top it all off, my backyard has been overtaken by weeds...I don't know where they came from, but they're everywhere. It's like I have this ever-growing list of things to do. It's crazy.
On a side note, if you haven't gone to see Bridesmaids, you totally should. I haven't laughed that long or hard in a long, long time. Phoenix actually told me that I was that one girl at the movie who laughed so loud. You know the one while you're in the middle of the movie who laughs out loud really loud? Yeah, that was me. I think I laughed so hard because I could picture a couple of girls I know as characters in the movie...In fact, one girl I know so fit the role of Helen in the movie. So, yeah. It's hilarious. Funny lines, funny situations, physical comedy and a special appearance by an old-school music group. How could you go wrong? Go see the damn movie!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Stupid people...*bashes head into desk*
For the love of God, I am so over dealing with people...Mondays are especially hard because I'm just not up for it, but sometimes, it's just too much. If I had to speak to one more moron today, I was going to scream...
Let's start with the biggest bullshit...So, we get surveys at work, just like most other places. The people get to rate the service and then the likelihood that they'd recommend us to a friend. I get a lot of Excellent ratings with a 10 as the likelihood of telling a friend. Over the last month or so, I've gotten a shitload of shitty surveys by bitter mo-fos. Okay, going on and on about how we can't lower your interest rate because you're habitually late isn't going to make it any better and now your shitty survey just cost me bonus money...Thanks. And I'm not kidding. The person literally wrote, "You had no right to raise my interest rate just because I've been late three or four times over the last year." Really? REALLY? *blank face* Oh, okay. Idiot! Another person gave me an Excellent 5 and the reason for the 5, "I don't recommend such things. What a stupid question." Thanks, jackass...You too have cost me money. Or another rating of, Good 4. The comment was, "The service was great. The woman on the phone was fast and efficient Much nicer than others I've spoken to." Seriously? I rocked that call and you give me a "good" which isn't "good" and a 4 which is a detractor, so it takes away from my high surveys. WTF!? Why say nice things and give a shitty rating!? These people are costing me money! I'd been rocking it at the top of my team and I was getting a $600 bonus for the last couple of months. Now, my bonus is SHIT! SHIT, I tell you!! I know, it's a bonus, but I like the extra money!
So, onto the stupid people of the day...I had some difficult calls, but there are two who stand out...The first was an angry woman who was at a location to pick up a temporary replacement card because hers had been stolen. Apparently, someone ordered her a replacement that would be delivered to this location. However, someone dropped ball and no one knew what was going on. I explained it was a temp card and she started freaking out-- "What do you mean temporary? I didn't ask for a temp! What happens when that expires?" I explained it was good for thirty days. This woman went postal about how this was a huge inconvenience and just kept yelling. I finally said, "M'am, I don't know why this was set up like this. I can only see what the notes are on the account. I wasn't on that phone call. I can fix this now and send you a permanent card for tomorrow." Still, she wanted to yell some more. In the end, we did it my way. And she thanked me. What pissed me off the most is that this was a personal card! This woman didn't even have a fucking business card! I don't know how she got through to me! Seriously, woman, stop wasting my time and let me do my job. We could've saved like 20 minutes of time. *rolls eyes*
The caller who took the cake was this old jackass who had been transferred from department to department for no apparent reason. He was demanding to speak to the head of a department that doesn't have a phone number. He had been revoked from pay by phone, which happens if there's a problem with a bank account, like a returned payment, wrong routing number, invalid account, etc...When he was brought into me from another department, the girl tells me, "He's calling about a disputed item on his account. He wants to speak to that department." Well, we take care of setting up disputes and can note them, so I say, "I can help. Bring him on the line." He yells at me because I had to ask for ID from him because the ID didn't follow his account from department to department, so he immediately yells at me. *rolls eyes* Yeah, that makes me nicer. Then I said, "So my colleague tells me you are calling about a disputed item. What's going on?" He flips out-- "Dispute? A dispute?" Then he goes on to tell me how dumb we are and how we don't communicate. I tell him I'm sorry, but I don't know what's going on, so he needs to fill me in. This infuriates him even more. He got a letter from us telling him he had been revoked from pay by phone and he wanted to speak to the person who "signed" the letter. Oh, okay...And I want to speak to the CEO of Capital One about my credit card. It's not going to fucking happen. When I tell him we don't have a phone number for that department and definitely don't have a direct extension for the woman who'd signed the letter, he went nuts! "Are you guys a fraudulent company? You guys are committing fraud! You sent me a letter from someone who doesn't exist!" I said, "I'm sure she exists, but we can't get a hold of her." She probably works out of our NY office and works like 8-4 or something, so she probably wasn't even there when he called anyway. He screamed at me for a good fifteen minutes before I said, "Sir, I can't get that department on the line. There's no number for them." He said, "Give me their number and I'll call them." It took everything in me not to say, "Are you kidding me? What part of 'there's no number for them' didn't you get?" Idiot! I finally called a supervisor because I was at a loss. He just kept yelling. The supervisor was a complete moron. She was all, "Oh, did you see that now you can't use a savings account for payments. There's an issue with that. Did you explain that to him?" I said, "He didn't mention that it was a savings account. He just keeps yelling at me." She repeated herself about four more times before I said, "I saw the update. This was a letter sent out two weeks ago. It's not about this." She then pointed out that she wasn't the woman who signed the letter, so she couldn't help him. What? You're not that woman? Damn it! I was so hoping you were and that by mere chance, I got through! WTF!? Take the call! I cannot handle anymore stupid people. The guy started yelling at me again as soon as I brought the supervisor on the line. She didn't even stop him or tell him she was taking over. She sat back and let him yell at me until I said who she was and hung up. Fuck, if you're a supervisor, then act like it! And if you're a customer, you need to accept that sometimes, you can't speak to the "higher ups". Seriously. *rolls eyes* I'm going to call Sallie Mae and ask to speak to Sallie.
Seriously people...Think before you call and start screaming at someone. One day I'm going to snap and tell someone off. I can't handle this bullshit.
Let's start with the biggest bullshit...So, we get surveys at work, just like most other places. The people get to rate the service and then the likelihood that they'd recommend us to a friend. I get a lot of Excellent ratings with a 10 as the likelihood of telling a friend. Over the last month or so, I've gotten a shitload of shitty surveys by bitter mo-fos. Okay, going on and on about how we can't lower your interest rate because you're habitually late isn't going to make it any better and now your shitty survey just cost me bonus money...Thanks. And I'm not kidding. The person literally wrote, "You had no right to raise my interest rate just because I've been late three or four times over the last year." Really? REALLY? *blank face* Oh, okay. Idiot! Another person gave me an Excellent 5 and the reason for the 5, "I don't recommend such things. What a stupid question." Thanks, jackass...You too have cost me money. Or another rating of, Good 4. The comment was, "The service was great. The woman on the phone was fast and efficient Much nicer than others I've spoken to." Seriously? I rocked that call and you give me a "good" which isn't "good" and a 4 which is a detractor, so it takes away from my high surveys. WTF!? Why say nice things and give a shitty rating!? These people are costing me money! I'd been rocking it at the top of my team and I was getting a $600 bonus for the last couple of months. Now, my bonus is SHIT! SHIT, I tell you!! I know, it's a bonus, but I like the extra money!
So, onto the stupid people of the day...I had some difficult calls, but there are two who stand out...The first was an angry woman who was at a location to pick up a temporary replacement card because hers had been stolen. Apparently, someone ordered her a replacement that would be delivered to this location. However, someone dropped ball and no one knew what was going on. I explained it was a temp card and she started freaking out-- "What do you mean temporary? I didn't ask for a temp! What happens when that expires?" I explained it was good for thirty days. This woman went postal about how this was a huge inconvenience and just kept yelling. I finally said, "M'am, I don't know why this was set up like this. I can only see what the notes are on the account. I wasn't on that phone call. I can fix this now and send you a permanent card for tomorrow." Still, she wanted to yell some more. In the end, we did it my way. And she thanked me. What pissed me off the most is that this was a personal card! This woman didn't even have a fucking business card! I don't know how she got through to me! Seriously, woman, stop wasting my time and let me do my job. We could've saved like 20 minutes of time. *rolls eyes*
The caller who took the cake was this old jackass who had been transferred from department to department for no apparent reason. He was demanding to speak to the head of a department that doesn't have a phone number. He had been revoked from pay by phone, which happens if there's a problem with a bank account, like a returned payment, wrong routing number, invalid account, etc...When he was brought into me from another department, the girl tells me, "He's calling about a disputed item on his account. He wants to speak to that department." Well, we take care of setting up disputes and can note them, so I say, "I can help. Bring him on the line." He yells at me because I had to ask for ID from him because the ID didn't follow his account from department to department, so he immediately yells at me. *rolls eyes* Yeah, that makes me nicer. Then I said, "So my colleague tells me you are calling about a disputed item. What's going on?" He flips out-- "Dispute? A dispute?" Then he goes on to tell me how dumb we are and how we don't communicate. I tell him I'm sorry, but I don't know what's going on, so he needs to fill me in. This infuriates him even more. He got a letter from us telling him he had been revoked from pay by phone and he wanted to speak to the person who "signed" the letter. Oh, okay...And I want to speak to the CEO of Capital One about my credit card. It's not going to fucking happen. When I tell him we don't have a phone number for that department and definitely don't have a direct extension for the woman who'd signed the letter, he went nuts! "Are you guys a fraudulent company? You guys are committing fraud! You sent me a letter from someone who doesn't exist!" I said, "I'm sure she exists, but we can't get a hold of her." She probably works out of our NY office and works like 8-4 or something, so she probably wasn't even there when he called anyway. He screamed at me for a good fifteen minutes before I said, "Sir, I can't get that department on the line. There's no number for them." He said, "Give me their number and I'll call them." It took everything in me not to say, "Are you kidding me? What part of 'there's no number for them' didn't you get?" Idiot! I finally called a supervisor because I was at a loss. He just kept yelling. The supervisor was a complete moron. She was all, "Oh, did you see that now you can't use a savings account for payments. There's an issue with that. Did you explain that to him?" I said, "He didn't mention that it was a savings account. He just keeps yelling at me." She repeated herself about four more times before I said, "I saw the update. This was a letter sent out two weeks ago. It's not about this." She then pointed out that she wasn't the woman who signed the letter, so she couldn't help him. What? You're not that woman? Damn it! I was so hoping you were and that by mere chance, I got through! WTF!? Take the call! I cannot handle anymore stupid people. The guy started yelling at me again as soon as I brought the supervisor on the line. She didn't even stop him or tell him she was taking over. She sat back and let him yell at me until I said who she was and hung up. Fuck, if you're a supervisor, then act like it! And if you're a customer, you need to accept that sometimes, you can't speak to the "higher ups". Seriously. *rolls eyes* I'm going to call Sallie Mae and ask to speak to Sallie.
Seriously people...Think before you call and start screaming at someone. One day I'm going to snap and tell someone off. I can't handle this bullshit.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I blame the rogue city worker...
So, the closing of the house has been moved...Last week it was held up, so we couldn't close on Friday like we were supposed to. Then it was held up again this week...Please, allow me to explain.
Last week we were scheduled for the final appraisal so they could submit it to the underwriters so they could say yes or no to the whole damned thing. So, the appraiser guy goes to the house on Wednesday to make sure the air conditioner was installed and that the repairs were made. The repairs they were supposed to make were to fix a drain that didn't drain and a few other things, right? So, the guy goes to the house, sees the AC, so that's good. Then he begins checking the other items...Here's where the problem comes in. Apparently, the city inadvertently shut off the water by mistake. Ummm...What? In my mind, the scenario went down like this: A rogue city worker decided to shut off random people's water at their houses. So, there he is, in the neighborhood of the house I'm trying to buy, and he's rubbing his hands together, evilly, saying, "Bwahahahaha, whose water shall I turn off?" Then he spots the appraiser dude walking inside the house. He allows the guy to get inside and then is all, "That house! That one right there!!" He then approached the house to shut off the water. The appraiser, once inside, checked out the AC and then goes to the sink to check for a leak. As he approached the sink, the guy was outside, laughing wildly at his mischief he was about to commit. The appraiser was about to turn on the sink when he dropped his pen, so he stopped to pick it up before turning on the water. Just as he was went to turn it on after picking up the pen, the city worker pulled out a tool and turned off the water! The appraiser then twisted the knob for the sink and saw that not a drop came out. He then said, "Oh well...Break time." And proceeded to bust out a thermos of coffee and had a quick cup of coffee instead of checking out the repairs. Meanwhile, outside the city worker laughed wildly once more and then headed to his truck as his day's work was complete. The appraiser then submitted paperwork showing the water had been shut off and he couldn't do a damned thing.
So, Wednesday afternoon, I get a message from the bank telling me what happened. My realtor also called to explain it to me. I couldn't do anything about it, so whatever. We hoped there was still a chance it would close on Friday, but of course, it didn't. Then on Friday afternoon, I got a call from the loan processor woman who is like the go-between for my bank guy and the underwriter and she tells me, "So, there's been some trouble. The appraiser couldn't do the appraisal because the water had been turned off by accident." Umm...Hi, you're a day late and a dollar short. WTF? This woman is always five steps behind. She promised everything was on rush and hopefully, we'd close this Friday. Awesome. Let's just get this shit done!
Fast forward to Monday...I get an email from the bank guy who says, "We are in Final underwriting as we speak! Nothing official yet, but from what I can peek at, it looks good." Obviously, I allowed myself to get a little hopeful because maybe we're moving forward...HA! Today I get an email from the bank to tell me that some information the underwriter needed concerning my credit report didn't get passed along to her, but he got it to her. (Thanks Processor lady who is always running behind for not passing the info along!) Then it appeared the repairs that were supposed to be done, weren't. WTF!? How hard is it to fix a drain and some other BS? The listing agent told my realtor that they had been done, but the appraiser guy had pictures to prove that shit hadn't gotten done. O to the M to the G. Are you kidding me? Everything is once again on hold. The listing agent called the repair guys to send them back out to fix everything and then once they're done, the appraiser guy is supposed to go back...yet again. Then it'll go to the underwriter again, then my loan processor lady will do the quality control check on it, then they'll draw up the papers, then it'll go the title company and then I can sign the papers once they make an appointment with me. Seriously? And they were hoping we'd be done by this Friday. Not going to happen, I say. My realtor ended up sending me a new paper to sign saying I'm okay with closing on the 22nd. I signed it and faxed it back right away because if it closes later than Friday without this, they could get us for breach of contract and it'll all be over with. *grits teeth* This isn't the way it's supposed to go...I just know it!! So, maybe by the 22nd I'll get to move into my house...They accepted my offer and we started all this bullshit on March 8th. I'm over it all.
Lots of you people have bought houses...How many went through this bullshit? I asked my realtor, "Is this normal? Is this what happens all the time?" She wrote back, "No, this isn't the norm." Good to know. I hope to hear something soon. Please keep all your fingers crossed for me. I need good thoughts, good luck, and all that jazz...Otherwise, I'm going to end up moving into some shitty apartment or house and paying far too much for rent.
Last week we were scheduled for the final appraisal so they could submit it to the underwriters so they could say yes or no to the whole damned thing. So, the appraiser guy goes to the house on Wednesday to make sure the air conditioner was installed and that the repairs were made. The repairs they were supposed to make were to fix a drain that didn't drain and a few other things, right? So, the guy goes to the house, sees the AC, so that's good. Then he begins checking the other items...Here's where the problem comes in. Apparently, the city inadvertently shut off the water by mistake. Ummm...What? In my mind, the scenario went down like this: A rogue city worker decided to shut off random people's water at their houses. So, there he is, in the neighborhood of the house I'm trying to buy, and he's rubbing his hands together, evilly, saying, "Bwahahahaha, whose water shall I turn off?" Then he spots the appraiser dude walking inside the house. He allows the guy to get inside and then is all, "That house! That one right there!!" He then approached the house to shut off the water. The appraiser, once inside, checked out the AC and then goes to the sink to check for a leak. As he approached the sink, the guy was outside, laughing wildly at his mischief he was about to commit. The appraiser was about to turn on the sink when he dropped his pen, so he stopped to pick it up before turning on the water. Just as he was went to turn it on after picking up the pen, the city worker pulled out a tool and turned off the water! The appraiser then twisted the knob for the sink and saw that not a drop came out. He then said, "Oh well...Break time." And proceeded to bust out a thermos of coffee and had a quick cup of coffee instead of checking out the repairs. Meanwhile, outside the city worker laughed wildly once more and then headed to his truck as his day's work was complete. The appraiser then submitted paperwork showing the water had been shut off and he couldn't do a damned thing.
So, Wednesday afternoon, I get a message from the bank telling me what happened. My realtor also called to explain it to me. I couldn't do anything about it, so whatever. We hoped there was still a chance it would close on Friday, but of course, it didn't. Then on Friday afternoon, I got a call from the loan processor woman who is like the go-between for my bank guy and the underwriter and she tells me, "So, there's been some trouble. The appraiser couldn't do the appraisal because the water had been turned off by accident." Umm...Hi, you're a day late and a dollar short. WTF? This woman is always five steps behind. She promised everything was on rush and hopefully, we'd close this Friday. Awesome. Let's just get this shit done!
Fast forward to Monday...I get an email from the bank guy who says, "We are in Final underwriting as we speak! Nothing official yet, but from what I can peek at, it looks good." Obviously, I allowed myself to get a little hopeful because maybe we're moving forward...HA! Today I get an email from the bank to tell me that some information the underwriter needed concerning my credit report didn't get passed along to her, but he got it to her. (Thanks Processor lady who is always running behind for not passing the info along!) Then it appeared the repairs that were supposed to be done, weren't. WTF!? How hard is it to fix a drain and some other BS? The listing agent told my realtor that they had been done, but the appraiser guy had pictures to prove that shit hadn't gotten done. O to the M to the G. Are you kidding me? Everything is once again on hold. The listing agent called the repair guys to send them back out to fix everything and then once they're done, the appraiser guy is supposed to go back...yet again. Then it'll go to the underwriter again, then my loan processor lady will do the quality control check on it, then they'll draw up the papers, then it'll go the title company and then I can sign the papers once they make an appointment with me. Seriously? And they were hoping we'd be done by this Friday. Not going to happen, I say. My realtor ended up sending me a new paper to sign saying I'm okay with closing on the 22nd. I signed it and faxed it back right away because if it closes later than Friday without this, they could get us for breach of contract and it'll all be over with. *grits teeth* This isn't the way it's supposed to go...I just know it!! So, maybe by the 22nd I'll get to move into my house...They accepted my offer and we started all this bullshit on March 8th. I'm over it all.
Lots of you people have bought houses...How many went through this bullshit? I asked my realtor, "Is this normal? Is this what happens all the time?" She wrote back, "No, this isn't the norm." Good to know. I hope to hear something soon. Please keep all your fingers crossed for me. I need good thoughts, good luck, and all that jazz...Otherwise, I'm going to end up moving into some shitty apartment or house and paying far too much for rent.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Spinning my wheels...
So, it's been four days since my last post...I've been waiting to hear from the bank, but I figured it'd be closer to the end of the week before I'd hear anything. Phoenix keeps asking, "Any emails? Anything?" And I say, "Nope..." I'm not holding my breath. I know it's going to take some time. I get it. I'll probably get a yes or no the day before closing. Yup, I just know that's how things go. Perhaps they'll even drag this out for another month or two, just for shits and giggles. *grins* Yup, I'm in if for the long haul because those fuckers have $1,000 of my money on top of the $600 I've already put out. So, yeah...
Today was a bit of a rough day at work. I got some shitty calls and I'm so over getting shitty surveys from people because they don't like our policies. Look, I can't lower your interest rate when you're late, repeatedly. I can't change how you make payments on your charge card just because you over spent while in Vegas and can't afford to pay what you spent. It's not cool to send in these surveys, rating the employee so low, because you hate what you heard. To those people, I say, "Fuck off!" I'm so over it. I was riding at number one on my team and now I'm number two with someone literally a third of a point below me. So, it was not such a good day despite the fact that my bosses boss was telling me how good I've been doing, despite the shitty surveys. So, when they loaded "downtime" for the day, I said, "Peace" and left two hours early.
Phoenix was going to go to "Noble Tuesday" with her nieces, so I told her to just go and I would walk across the street from work to Starbucks to write. I was super excited about this because I just need some "me" time. I was in the middle of writing when my phone went off. I answered it to find that it was the loan processor lady from the bank. She starts to tell me this, "So, we got an approval on the loan. There's just a couple of conditions." I was like, "Wait...What? What conditions?" She said, "I can email them to you if you want." I was like, "Well that's fine, but you can just tell me now." She says, "Well, we need you to explain this late payment for a student loan. And we need your pay stubs--" I cut her off. "Wait, I went over all this last Friday. I went down to the bank and we did all this. Didn't you get this?" Turns out she was out sick...So, apparently, my info has been sitting in her inbox since Friday and no one has done shit! She said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I do have an email here. I'll go through this and if I need anything else, I'll email you." Yeah, you do that. *pounds head into table* WTF? My shit has been sitting there! I was supposed to get an answer by the end of the week and now it's just been sitting there for the last few days. It just sucks. I know that everyone says that it's a crazy ride, this whole buying a house thing, but honestly, I'm over it. I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of fucking morons who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. Why can't people do their jobs? When I go to work, I have shit to do. If I have stuff to follow up on, I have to do it. It's expected of me. Perhaps I should go work for Chase so I can spend my days fucking around and not checking my email.
So, in the middle of all this shit, it only gets better...Phoenix came to me last week or something (And yes, it's just been eating me up inside since then) and tells me that her evil friend (Insert Evil Friend Name Here) emailed her via Facebook to say that Phoenix's evil ex (Insert Evil Ex's Name here...Also known as the name of the devil...The same as my fuck face father. <~~~ That's right...I get alliteration points for that one!) emailed said Evil Friend to ask her to contact Phoenix to ask for an address to send Phoenix some "family pictures" she came across while she was packing to move again. (Knowing my luck, she's probably moving to a house across the street from the house I'm trying to buy...And if that's the case, I will blow that bitch's house down like I'm the Big Bad Wolf. *straight face* I'm not even playing. Fuck that dumb bitch.) So, Phoenix tells me this and it takes everything in me not to flip out. Yes, I'm so happy she told me and was honest about it, but seriously? This is the exact time that Evil Ex wants to make contact? Didn't she take it as a fucking hint that she's blocked from Pheonix's Facebook page??? Seriously, she's blocked. If you can't email someone, take it as a hint to stay the fuck away...I'm just saying. So, Phoenix is like, "I'm just going to use my mom's house address." Oh good, let's lead her to where we live...*rolls eyes* I pointed out that the pictures probably aren't her family pics like she thought, but perhaps "family" pics of her and the ex...She said I was wrong, but we'll just see about that, won't we? She never told me when she emailed her friend back (Although, I just asked her right now and she said, "Like that next day...Or the day after. Sometime last week." Oh goody...Just as I thought. She couldn't help herself. Apparently, she told her friend to send them here and to tell her to keep any pics that have her in them. I doubt she'll do that...She's EVIL!) . Today, when we got home from work, there was a Fed Ex note on the front door saying that they had come by and needed a signature for the package. They said if we sign the sticker and leave it, they'll leave the package tomorrow. *cringes* I'm not expecting a package and neither is Phoenix's mom. It's the pictures, I just know it. And I'm willing to bet that there's going to be some lame ass letter in there too. One of the last times she emailed Phoenix, she was like, "It's Valentine's Day and I'm so melancholy..." And other stupid lame bullshit that dumb, evil bitches say. We have been together for almost three years and this bitch just won't stay gone. Seriously. GO AWAY! Exs are exs for a reason. Live and let live. If I came across pictures of my ex (Which, thankfully, I don't have any), I'd be like, "Whatever" and probably throw them away because that's how much I fucking care. I wouldn't be like, "Hey!! I've got some pics! Want them?" Why now? Why won't she just go away? I don't need this...I don't need any of this.
So, when you all see me on the 6 o'clock news as the crazy lady who was found in a Cold Stone Creamery, eating the ice cream from the case with a spoon in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and a bottle of Vodka nearby, you'll know why...Things just don't get better. It's like I'm sitting here, spinning my wheels, and I can't get any further in my life. I'm stuck at a shitty job where my boss can't see how good I am. I'm in a relationship where my girl's ex can't just stay away. And my bank has me dangling on a string like I'm fucking Pinocchio waiting for a yes, no, or maybe so. I'm over it all. Most of all, I'm over the fucking ex. I wonder how much longer I'm supposed to wait before I get to stand up and say, "Bitch please...Get to steppin'. Go peddle crazy somewhere else because we're full up here." I've sat back, quietly, these almost three years while this bitch has come and gone, sending emails, trying to call my girl, etc...I'm done. Phoenix has changed her phone number like three times since we got together because of this girl. At some point in time, this bitch needs to know it's not okay and that time is now. We'll see what's in the package and then we'll see what happens next. I'm done biting my tongue.
Today was a bit of a rough day at work. I got some shitty calls and I'm so over getting shitty surveys from people because they don't like our policies. Look, I can't lower your interest rate when you're late, repeatedly. I can't change how you make payments on your charge card just because you over spent while in Vegas and can't afford to pay what you spent. It's not cool to send in these surveys, rating the employee so low, because you hate what you heard. To those people, I say, "Fuck off!" I'm so over it. I was riding at number one on my team and now I'm number two with someone literally a third of a point below me. So, it was not such a good day despite the fact that my bosses boss was telling me how good I've been doing, despite the shitty surveys. So, when they loaded "downtime" for the day, I said, "Peace" and left two hours early.
Phoenix was going to go to "Noble Tuesday" with her nieces, so I told her to just go and I would walk across the street from work to Starbucks to write. I was super excited about this because I just need some "me" time. I was in the middle of writing when my phone went off. I answered it to find that it was the loan processor lady from the bank. She starts to tell me this, "So, we got an approval on the loan. There's just a couple of conditions." I was like, "Wait...What? What conditions?" She said, "I can email them to you if you want." I was like, "Well that's fine, but you can just tell me now." She says, "Well, we need you to explain this late payment for a student loan. And we need your pay stubs--" I cut her off. "Wait, I went over all this last Friday. I went down to the bank and we did all this. Didn't you get this?" Turns out she was out sick...So, apparently, my info has been sitting in her inbox since Friday and no one has done shit! She said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I do have an email here. I'll go through this and if I need anything else, I'll email you." Yeah, you do that. *pounds head into table* WTF? My shit has been sitting there! I was supposed to get an answer by the end of the week and now it's just been sitting there for the last few days. It just sucks. I know that everyone says that it's a crazy ride, this whole buying a house thing, but honestly, I'm over it. I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of fucking morons who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. Why can't people do their jobs? When I go to work, I have shit to do. If I have stuff to follow up on, I have to do it. It's expected of me. Perhaps I should go work for Chase so I can spend my days fucking around and not checking my email.
So, in the middle of all this shit, it only gets better...Phoenix came to me last week or something (And yes, it's just been eating me up inside since then) and tells me that her evil friend (Insert Evil Friend Name Here) emailed her via Facebook to say that Phoenix's evil ex (Insert Evil Ex's Name here...Also known as the name of the devil...The same as my fuck face father. <~~~ That's right...I get alliteration points for that one!) emailed said Evil Friend to ask her to contact Phoenix to ask for an address to send Phoenix some "family pictures" she came across while she was packing to move again. (Knowing my luck, she's probably moving to a house across the street from the house I'm trying to buy...And if that's the case, I will blow that bitch's house down like I'm the Big Bad Wolf. *straight face* I'm not even playing. Fuck that dumb bitch.) So, Phoenix tells me this and it takes everything in me not to flip out. Yes, I'm so happy she told me and was honest about it, but seriously? This is the exact time that Evil Ex wants to make contact? Didn't she take it as a fucking hint that she's blocked from Pheonix's Facebook page??? Seriously, she's blocked. If you can't email someone, take it as a hint to stay the fuck away...I'm just saying. So, Phoenix is like, "I'm just going to use my mom's house address." Oh good, let's lead her to where we live...*rolls eyes* I pointed out that the pictures probably aren't her family pics like she thought, but perhaps "family" pics of her and the ex...She said I was wrong, but we'll just see about that, won't we? She never told me when she emailed her friend back (Although, I just asked her right now and she said, "Like that next day...Or the day after. Sometime last week." Oh goody...Just as I thought. She couldn't help herself. Apparently, she told her friend to send them here and to tell her to keep any pics that have her in them. I doubt she'll do that...She's EVIL!) . Today, when we got home from work, there was a Fed Ex note on the front door saying that they had come by and needed a signature for the package. They said if we sign the sticker and leave it, they'll leave the package tomorrow. *cringes* I'm not expecting a package and neither is Phoenix's mom. It's the pictures, I just know it. And I'm willing to bet that there's going to be some lame ass letter in there too. One of the last times she emailed Phoenix, she was like, "It's Valentine's Day and I'm so melancholy..." And other stupid lame bullshit that dumb, evil bitches say. We have been together for almost three years and this bitch just won't stay gone. Seriously. GO AWAY! Exs are exs for a reason. Live and let live. If I came across pictures of my ex (Which, thankfully, I don't have any), I'd be like, "Whatever" and probably throw them away because that's how much I fucking care. I wouldn't be like, "Hey!! I've got some pics! Want them?" Why now? Why won't she just go away? I don't need this...I don't need any of this.
So, when you all see me on the 6 o'clock news as the crazy lady who was found in a Cold Stone Creamery, eating the ice cream from the case with a spoon in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and a bottle of Vodka nearby, you'll know why...Things just don't get better. It's like I'm sitting here, spinning my wheels, and I can't get any further in my life. I'm stuck at a shitty job where my boss can't see how good I am. I'm in a relationship where my girl's ex can't just stay away. And my bank has me dangling on a string like I'm fucking Pinocchio waiting for a yes, no, or maybe so. I'm over it all. Most of all, I'm over the fucking ex. I wonder how much longer I'm supposed to wait before I get to stand up and say, "Bitch please...Get to steppin'. Go peddle crazy somewhere else because we're full up here." I've sat back, quietly, these almost three years while this bitch has come and gone, sending emails, trying to call my girl, etc...I'm done. Phoenix has changed her phone number like three times since we got together because of this girl. At some point in time, this bitch needs to know it's not okay and that time is now. We'll see what's in the package and then we'll see what happens next. I'm done biting my tongue.
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